Jump to content
Special Upgrade 4 Tech Tips

Aces_and_8's

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    342

  • Joined

  • Last visited

    Never

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Aces_and_8's

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Surreal conversations, government contractors, and your tax dollars at work:

    Me: Hey first sergeant, give a call to base and see what they can do about fixin the heat.

    1stSgt: Roger sir, give me a couple of minutes

    1stSgt: * On the phone*...Hey this is Bravo Fourth over at Flair, we need someone to come fix the heat...nope, not working at all. Uh, huh. Roger, we'll see ya then.

    1stSgt: Said they would be here in a few minutes, sir

    Me: Okey doke, thanks

    ---Two hours later---

    1stSgt: Where the hell have you guys been?

    Contractor: Eh, we just got the call, whats the problem?

    1stSgt: Heats AFU

    Contractor: Whadya mean AFU

    1stSgt: It ain't workin

    Contractor: Ok...we'll go take a look

    ----45 Minutes later----

    Contractor: Ok sir, we're done

    Me: You are?

    Contractor: Yep

    Me: Let me check...I dont feel anything coming out

    Contractor: Huh?

    Me: I dont feel anything coming out of the register

    Contractor: Whaddya mean, I can hear it coming out?

    Me:Hear what?

    Contractor: The air...I can hear the air from over hear

    Me:Air?

    Contractor:Yes.

    Me:Air I got, I called you over to fix the heat.

    Contractor:What?

    Me:We called you over to fix the heat, not the air.

    Contractor:Oh

    Me:What oh...

    Contractor:Well sir, we only fix the air

    Me:Whaddya mean you only fix the air

    Contractor:We only fix the air

    Me:But the air wasn't broke

    Contractor: Yeah, it works great

    Me:Exactly

    Contractor:Then why did you call about the air?

    Me:I didn't, I called to get the heat fixed

    Contractor:Well that's not us, thats the other guys

    Me:Figured that, what do I need to do?

    Contractor:Oh thats easy, call base and ask for the repair team

    GRRRRRRRR!!!

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty:

    1 x Armalite AR18

    1x Colt AR15

    3x SKS

    3x Mossberg 500A 12 gauge shotguns

    1xWinchester .20 gauge auto

    1x Custom 30-06 rifle w/scope rebored from mauser

    2 x Beretta 92FS

    1 x S&W Sigma 9mm

    1 x S&W Sigma .40

    1 x Ruger .44 Magnum Blackhawk Stainless

    1 x Walther PPKS .380

    1 x Colt Python .357

    1 x Colt Trooper II .357

    1 x Colt Cobra .38

    1 x 2nd Generation .45 Colt SAA

    1 x Ruger Mk II BBL .22

    3 x M1 Carbine (2 WW2 vintage, 1 commercial)

    1 Colt SAA Sesquincentennial .45 SAA unfired

    1 Colt .45 SAA "Sherrif's Model" unfired (with extra cylinder for .44-40)

    1 Colt Presentation Cased .44 Walker unfired

    1 Wilkerson-Terry 9mm

    1 Remington 870 12 gauge

    1 x carrot, unfired? </font>
    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty:

    1 x Armalite AR18

    1x Colt AR15

    3x SKS

    3x Mossberg 500A 12 gauge shotguns

    1xWinchester .20 gauge auto

    1x Custom 30-06 rifle w/scope rebored from mauser

    2 x Beretta 92FS

    1 x S&W Sigma 9mm

    1 x S&W Sigma .40

    1 x Ruger .44 Magnum Blackhawk Stainless

    1 x Walther PPKS .380

    1 x Colt Python .357

    1 x Colt Trooper II .357

    1 x Colt Cobra .38

    1 x 2nd Generation .45 Colt SAA

    1 x Ruger Mk II BBL .22

    3 x M1 Carbine (2 WW2 vintage, 1 commercial)

    1 Colt SAA Sesquincentennial .45 SAA unfired

    1 Colt .45 SAA "Sherrif's Model" unfired (with extra cylinder for .44-40)

    1 Colt Presentation Cased .44 Walker unfired

    1 Wilkerson-Terry 9mm

    1 Remington 870 12 gauge

    1 x carrot, unfired? </font>
    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by rune:

    Some clarifications...

    Aces, Hmm a Marine Officer on his back. The possibilities are endless....but no, too easy...

    Rune

    rune old friend, where have you been? I've missed ya...not really, just dispensing with nicities. Now, I could throw out something such as...

    At least our natural state of being is not on our stomachs like that of the Navy

    ...but that would seem base and reactionary, no matter how true.

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

    Smoldering brunettes with guns are yummy.

    1 x Armalite AR18

    1x Colt AR15

    3x SKS

    3x Mossberg 500A 12 gauge shotguns

    1xWinchester .20 gauge auto

    1x Custom 30-06 rifle w/scope rebored from mauser

    2 x Beretta 92FS

    1 x S&W Sigma 9mm

    1 x S&W Sigma .40

    1 x Ruger .44 Magnum Blackhawk Stainless

    1 x Walther PPKS .380

    1 x Colt Python .357

    1 x Colt Trooper II .357

    1 x Colt Cobra .38

    1 x 2nd Generation .45 Colt SAA

    1 x Ruger Mk II BBL .22

    3 x M1 Carbine (2 WW2 vintage, 1 commercial)

    1 Colt SAA Sesquincentennial .45 SAA unfired

    1 Colt .45 SAA "Sherrif's Model" unfired (with extra cylinder for .44-40)

    1 Colt Presentation Cased .44 Walker unfired

    1 Wilkerson-Terry 9mm

    1 Remington 870 12 gauge

    . . . this is about half of what I have. Shall I go on or is this enough? Starting to get arthritis typing all this. =(

    Kitty </font>

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by YK2:

    Do you two live near each other??

    I bet you got up a lot faster than you went down Aces !!

    Hope you and the wifey are not feeling too much pain. Well at least.. hope the wifey isn't...

    Boo you have 3inch ICE on your driveway??

    Did you have a flood or something before the big chill?

    Never saw ice that thick except on a pond or somefink... snow yes... Ice.... Nope

    She's a trooper, even completed her shift. Not sure if that's because she's innit for the money or to be away from me. Me...only my pride was hurt. Probably did more damage to the concrete than to myself.

    Boo lives a couple of states away, but we both reside in that wonderous geographical feature known as the Ohio Valley. Everything coming off the plains gets swept North and East, normally tapping the Great Lakes and Atlantic for some extra UMPHF! Cant wait to move, only 90 days and its adios Maryland.

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo Radley:

    I was out in the driveway last night with a big old coal shovel that I got who knows where, slamming it down on the ice, breaking off chunks that were a couple of feet or so across and a couple inches thick. I had to stop when the ice got to over three inches thick down at the bottom of the driveway.

    It was fun. I imagined I saw all your bloated, pimply faces suspended in the ice ('cepting the ladies of course.) as I was wailing away at it.

    This crap is out of hand and getting more ridiculous with each passing front:

    Fades to bad memories of yesterday

    - While walking into the office and lecturing one of the Marines about being careful, stepped on a patch of black ice both feet went straight up in the air and I landed flat on my back. Lost a whole heap of cool points, but gained some back by saving my coffee.

    - The wife had to be rushed to the ER (she works at the same ER and was on her way in for her shift at the time) after she not only slipped cracking her wrist, but in an attempt to get up slipped again, landed on the hood of her car, and dented it. At least the car broke her fall.

    There wasnt a whole lot of joy in Mudville yesterday...

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    ditto *shivers*...btw I got a brand spankin new wireless keyboard. I can now sit across the room in front of the fireplace with my bathrobe on and type, surf the web, etc to my little hearts content. Course, I cant see what the hell I'm doing, but just having the ability is strangly satisfying.

    BTW Mace what do you know of metallizers and reasons for them going awry?

    0

    Welcome to the Waffle: Threats guaranteed or your TNT cheerfully refunded

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Mike:

    I got the pleasure of playing the low and the mediocre (Aces & 8's) in a sordid big scenario writetn by some penguin or other - stuff like giving me a couple of KV's with only 1 road to come in on that has 2 AT minefields on it (only discvered by driving over them of course!!) and not bothering to mention the pioneers that are arriving a few turns later!! Grr.....

    However it's taking a bit of time - we're 23 turns into 70+, and the 2 battaliions of Russians are taking some moving on a big map that's mostly swamp and forest!! It's kind of frustrating!! ggrrrrrr.......

    Highlight so far is a 45mm AT gun taking out a P2 from 997m along a dead straight road that totally keyholed it and watchign the rest of his vehicles trying to dodge around that keyhole

    <font size=+2GRARGRARRGRARRRGRARGRARGRARRR!!! </font> :mad:

    Ya know, this is exactly the reason why history is never written by the losers, they would only get it wrong :rolleyes:

    While the minefields are admittadly dastardly, you have no one but yourself to blame for violating Murphy's 3rd Law of Combat: The easy way is always mined. :D That and a vodka induced stupor suffered by the poor little brown clad lads. I would petition the commissarat for an immediate execution of the individual responsible for forgetting the rollers. :mad:

    Here is how things are actually going. After I made his silly little partisans waltz to the tune of some deadly accurate 2 cm and MG fire (so many blue clad bodies laying about), Mike attempted to tiptoe up the route his KVs are currently immobilized *snickers* on with a couple of trucks towing guns. Ordered some steel rain, super sized that order, and stopped em cold. Now there's nothing but smoking trucks, smoking guns, and little smoking bodies. :mad:

    His next thrust (again, he should be a performer for the Bolshoi with tutu and little shoes the way he prances about) also stuck. Two guns abandoned and the rest of everything crammed up that road, fixin to take care of that little problem soon. My gunners in the half-tracks are having a fine time gunning down his little twits screaming " Dance ya little bitches, dance...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (all in German of course)as they stick there heads out the woods then twitch like little meat marionettes. :mad:

    Yes, yes, he did have a couple of shining moments, the truck which is still smoking, a couple of Kubelwagens and the one tank. :mad: There's plenty more from where those came from...He's not even close enough yet to begin SERIOUS MOLTEN TNT CHUCKIN' but I am guessing one of these days he will actually make a concerted push. And now you know...the rest of the storey. :mad:

    0

    Welcome to the Waffle: Threats guaranteed or your TNT cheerfully refunded

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Kitty:

    GARRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGHH! I guess it just goes to show that life isn't all toasted waffles, oatmeal, cinnamon toast, and Cheery Applesauce. :mad:

    I'm never going out to the main boards again! :mad: :mad:

    Kitty

    Some things in life are bad,

    They can really make you mad,

    Other things just make you swear and curse,

    When you're chewing your life's gristle

    Don't grumble, give a whistle,

    And this'll help things turn out for the best,

    Always look on the bright side of life.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the light side of life.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    If life seems jolly rotten,

    There's something you've forgotten,

    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

    When you're feeling in the dumps,

    Don't be silly chumps.

    Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.

    And, always look on the bright side of life.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the right side of life,

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    For life is quite absurd

    And death's the final word.

    You must always face the curtain with a bow.

    Forget about your sin.

    Give the audience a grin.

    Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.

    So, always look on the bright side of death,

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Just before you draw your terminal breath.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Life's a piece of ****,

    When you look at it.

    Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.

    You'll see it's all a show.

    Keep 'em laughing as you go.

    Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

    And, always look on the bright side of life.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the right side of life.

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop

    I mean, what do you have to lose

    You come from nothing

    You go back to nothing

    What have you lost, nothing]

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    ...dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop :mad:

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

    I invited the waffle 30ot6 around for tea, crumpet and a challenge. Especially due to the glowing report he gave us.

    Perhaps one of you with a lower status would be so kind to oblige?

    Aces? I think the uber-babe Kitty had a chore for you. Please deal with this 30ot6 in your typical Marine way.

    And don't forget to chuck some molten TNT his way! He likes that.

    Mace

    Nice. Now Joe's going to go all postal again.

    Steve </font>

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Kitty:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

    *picks up Kitty's feet and places on lap; notices hangnail; expertly removes hangnail with teeth and without tearing skin; places in small keepsake matchbox*

    ...Uppity?..

    *begins rubbing Kitty's feet with solution of spirits of wintergreen and oil of ambrosia*

    I do not believe I was being . . .

    *Accidentally kicks Aces in the face* Oops! Sorry, that tickled. =)

    Do you want this back? *holds out severed end of Aces tongue*

    Kitty </font>

    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Kitty:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Umm, squire? I'm not exactly sure that a Marine has any business posting insults about anyone else's hair. =)

    Kitty

    My dear lady, my hair style is by choice </font>
    0

    Why Does It Always Rain On Me, Is it Because I'm In The Peng Challenge Thread..

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Umm, squire? I'm not exactly sure that a Marine has any business posting insults about anyone else's hair. =)

    Kitty

    My dear lady, my hair style is by choice and not by that fickel mistress known as genetics. While the difference may escape some of the slower witted about this place, I am sure your most esteemed self already understands this point, and I am simply preaching to the choir. Besides, it doesnt take long to dry after a shower and some members of the opposite sex do indeed... dig it. . While our own dear Mace claims to have tresses of Cher quality, I do not think it really counts when said ringlets are reconstructed from the tufts found on a Eucalyptus after a Koala molts then glued strategically about a bald pate.
    0

    Cap'n Jack Peng and the Black Challenge

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Excerpts from the log of Her Majesty's Bireme (formerly Trireme) Terribilius Est Rex:

    1630 The mystery has been solved. The gentleman on the quay was intimating that the starboard oars had yet to be loaded. As I watch the point pass for the third time to the port, I cant help but think, Lucius will have to be fired as first mate. There are rumblings of discontent below decks as the port side continues to pull through and the starboard plays dominoes. To think that its come to this, no sails, one bank of oars to port, and that idiot Quintus plotting tighter and tighter circles on the back of his hand. Watching him leap up and down repeatedly, so as to peer over the gunwales just to get his bearings, is really annoying. At least the Assyrians are behaving. Gawd save the Queen!

    1730 Langsdorff had a way out, why not me? Its bad enough turning circles for the last 2 hours, but to be towed back to port by Pete and Bernice Fowler's glass bottomed paddle boat is the height of embarrasing. Receiving Commodore Berli's carrier Sturgeon calling off the pursuit, followed shortly by the carrier Blow Fish authenticating the orders, in no way lessens the feelings of extreme disappointment I am currently experiencing. We hope to reach port within the next day or so. This of course is predicated upon Pete's heart continuing to function and Bernice's supply of Depends lasting. I think I shall have the Rex broken up and sold as toothpicks to the local crab houses. Recouping some of the expenditures for this voyage should shine a brighter light on an otherwise dismal display, and hopefully hold the Queen's comptroller and investigators at bay for a while. That, or I'll just blame Seanachai. I wonder if the Assyrians will loan me one of their bows and a single arrow?

    Log Closed this 9th Day in the year of the Monkey by Aces_and_8's Captain and Master of Her Majesty's Bireme (formally Trireme) Terribilius Est Rex

    0
×
×
  • Create New...