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Speedbump

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Posts posted by Speedbump

    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    Serious Mode on Apologies to all regarding slow turns and all. Have been really distracted with real life. Any oncology experts out there? I have a couple of questions regarding radiation treatment and chemotherapy. Serious Mode off

    Blech, hate you all, hope you have things fall of of you etc etc.

    Hiram, your family remains in our thoughts and prayers. Take your time with our game.

    After all, it has just started and for all we know, you might actually start to win one...

    Speedbump

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    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    I feel better today! I want to acknowledge the outpouring of supporting emails I received from CessPoolers. I'll share just a couple, without names of course, wouldn't want to embarrass anyone:

    Joe

    I just want to comment that it is so very, very sad when a person has to stoop so low as to write themselves fan mail. It's almost as sad as that scene in Sunset Boulevard where Erich Von Stroheim tells Wm. Holden that in reality he has been writing all the fan letters to Gloria Swanson through the years.

    Almost as sad, I said, because that scene invokes pathos whereas you're just a confused git with delusions of grandeur.

    Joe, if you need to feel good about yourself, that's OK. Just do it in private and wash your hands when you're done.

    Good lord, it's hard to believe that you've actually fallen to such depths that measured on the ladder of self respect, you're several rungs below Larry Storch.</font>

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    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark.

    Welcome back, Speedbump -- though I notice you haven't mentioned how thoroughly I am kicking your butt up between your shoulderblades. Of course, that is old news, isn't it?

    Steve

    I thought it was clear when I mentioned how gamey you were...I mean really, tactics? Rear-slope defense? Covering mine-fields with infantry and arty? It's just...just...wrong!

    Speedbump

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    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by athkatla:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedbump:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

    and save us from having to listen to your abject whimperings, which just about make me want to vomit.

    Damn, you mean I didn't succeed in making you vomit...wait, then what is that all over you? Please tell me you didn't actually pick those clothes?

    No wonder you haven't been taken to Squire...

    Speedbump</font>

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    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Posted by my loyal and trustworthy former Squire SpeedbumpSir Joe, could you please tell me who all these new folks are? After all, I need some guidance in who to ignore and who to flame.

    Ah Sir Speedbump good to see you back again. The official CessPool page has been neglected by Lorak of late so it's a bit tough to keep track of the Knights, Squires and so forth. Ignoring Mikey is always a good idea since he's an SSN. The others you'll commonly see are probably Serfs or Squires.

    The "House" craze was not my doing. Apparently dalem, Berli, Rune and some others found it necessary to drive a wedge into the pool, as if honest hatred wasn't enough, and created their houses composed of people who had risen to their current ranks through the auspices of a certain founding Knight.

    Naturally I wanted to protect "my lads" as I continue to call you, so I created the Shavian House which is populated by myself as founder, Agua Perdido, your own fine self, Lars (and by inclusion HIS squire Hanns) and Harv.

    If you have specific questions about specific scum be sure to ask.

    Joe

    </font>

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    Marlon Brando, the PENG CHALLENGE and me

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedy:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Harv:

    Andreas (do I really have to bold this git?)

    To answer that question, no I don't believe you do.

    To the best of my knowledge only Germanboy is a squire/knight and therefore needs to be bolded whereas Andreas has no official status at all (even lower than an ssn) and therefore is not required to be bolded.</font>

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    I have come to bury Peng, not to Challenge him

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    For all those who are getting their butts kicked by me in PBEMS:

    My email address has changed. Check my profile or, for the lazily inclined, use dalemq@attbi.com.

    For all those who are kicking my butt in PBEMs:

    Please stop. For the children, if for nothing else. My god, think about the children!!!

    dalem, I am still waiting for the setup after spanking you with my uber-JdPzIV!

    Speaking of children, my 3 year old misses laughing hysterically at your tactics...

    Speedbump

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    I have come to bury Peng, not to Challenge him

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Noba:

    Slowdip you dork ! Fancy thinking you have to sit and watch with the kids. I suppose you do have kids to watch with ?

    Anyway, you obviously have more time than you know what to do with, so I answer your attempted 'slight' on Australians by asking...can you do any better than the last pillock on a crusade against us, The headless Gnome ? He got kicked well and truly, I would love to be given the opportunity to do the same to you. Tear yourself away from the tv and send a setup. QB 1500 points will do.

    Noba.

    Noba,

    I accept your kindly worded invitation with pleasure. I am sure that it is troubling not being able to attract the opposite sex long enough to create little Nobas. There is nothing like the joy of having your offspring hang on your every word, and wanting to share their happiness with you.

    I wish you all the luck in the future getting the sheep to stand still long enough for you. You may wish to take some pointers from your mate Mace.

    Setup is in the mail...

    Speedbump

    [edited because, darn it...it feels so good...come on you know you like it...]

    [ March 11, 2002, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

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    I have come to bury Peng, not to Challenge him

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    It has come to my attention that I have been processing my turns in a timely and dependable manner. That will stop immediately. I will now go back to sending them when I get good and ready.

    Ha! I have already beaten you to the punch. I still haven't gotten around to playing the second turn of our game...a movie too! All I would have to do is hit GO.

    Funny thing is, you have sent it to me twice, seemingly impatient for its return! Be aware, Croda doesn't stoop so low as to send a turn again saying "just in case you didn't get it."

    Mamby-Pamby...

    Speedbump

    [ummmm...I love the feel of the edit button]

    [ March 07, 2002, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

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    Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedbump:

    This valiant JgdPzIV (becoming my favorite German AFV) ended the scenario with 3 M4 Shermans, 1 M4A3(75)W Sherman, 2 M4A1(76)W Shermans and a lone HT to its credit! Now how do I transfer this guy to my next game? BTS fix or do somefink'...

    Speedbump

    It was all very painful. The details swim before my bleeding eyes but it seemed that one cheese-ass enemy vehicle was responsible for lots of pain. It hurts. Oh god it hurts. The maneuvering, the tactics, the dead-on hits at close range, all just... oh god - it still hurts!!!</font>
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    Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Croda:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedbump:

    Now how do I transfer this guy to my next game?

    Immediately press Alt-U in our game. That will take you right to the 'Import Customized Gameyness' screen, from where you can scan whole matchbox AFVs into the game.

    Jerk.</font>

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    Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    Oh, and I snatched defeat from the jaws of victory today, as a carefully-built victory blew into dust in two turns, due to the gamey, code cracking, and all other sorts of low-down cheating behavior in favor of his poopy little JgdPzIV.

    I swear, I haven't been able to buy a win lately.

    Oh, and it was brilliantly done! There I was down to my last AFV (of 4), my AT Gun sitting forlornly abandoned, a number of my VG squads panicked or routed, my JgdPzIV facing 5 enemy armored devils, when providence shined upon me. dalem's tactical genius came to the forefront.

    Rather than sitting back and shelling the small village in which I was sheltering, he proceeded to advance his tanks sequentially into my SPAT's gunsights! Then as I was maneuvering to kill his last tank his blind Bazookaman was only good enough to get a "side superstructure penetration no effect"!

    This valiant JgdPzIV (becoming my favorite German AFV) ended the scenario with 3 M4 Shermans, 1 M4A3(75)W Sherman, 2 M4A1(76)W Shermans and a lone HT to its credit! Now how do I transfer this guy to my next game? BTS fix or do somefink'...

    Speedbump

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    Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    Hirsute Hiram’s Game Updates

    Now for the big surprise for both of you who actually read this far

    One of you bellicose, bra wearing, bellybutton lint collectors actually sent me a setup. This Mister Speed Bump sent me a 1500 PT setup with random everything. He wants an Armor battle and I am Axis. Should I choose Stugs-a-plenty like our Father Confessor? (forgive me father for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of carnal thoughts while standing in the lunch line. She had this luscious pair of knock…) I wonder if I can buy a really really big tank for that many points. I do hope it comes with instructions like “point gun that way towards the enemy”

    He’s attacking and I’m defending. He’s a wienie and I’m cool. He sniffs glue and prances around like a fairy and I’m ruggedly handsome. “Blah blah blah, I’m Mister Burns”

    Ummmm...I don't sniff glue!

    Speedbump

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    Emergency CPR - Challenge-Peng Resuscitation

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    Okay, that was better.

    Just let me say that I bask in your approval. No, I live for your good opinion. Bastige.

    I have no preferences. I have no scruples.
    Funny you should say that because that is exactly what Mace and Bauhaus were telling me just the other day...

    PS I don't think I'm Joe Shaw because I'm better looking, better endowed, not a blowhard, and not a prissy dafodil.
    Unfortunately, I must agree. After many hours toiling away cleaning Joe Shaw's codpiece this is too true...

    Speedbump

    [edited cause...]

    [edited again, because while you would never know it watching me play, I am a perfectionist]

    [ February 26, 2002, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

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