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stevetherat

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Posts posted by stevetherat

    Maple Leaf Up!! The PENG THREAD goes North!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Minor update. I just had to tell you all because I'm a barsteward like that.

    Wankmoan's counterattack force is all but withered away. Three lovely JadgEdges (75/70) came strolling out of the bushes acting like hard men, puffing out their chests. Now there's only one left, and that's gonna pop soon too.

    However, his girl guides defending the crossroads are stubborn little bitches. They're harder to dislodge than sheep from a holly bush.

    As you were. Gloating ceased.

    stevetherat

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    Maple Leaf Up!! The PENG THREAD goes North!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Wildman:

    Stevetheratdroppings,

    When you dig yourself out of the litter box, send my the next turn you usless kipper. So far the only advancing your doing is with your platoon of half-tracks you finally brought out. You've moved roughly 300m in five turns, despite outnumbering me something like 10:1. You ability to spin, shows a promising career in Lawyer's Washington DC (or Parlamint since your a stinking Limey) lobby.

    ---

    I sent that file in the first millennium you swine. Check the box outside your trailer, you travelling salesmans 'activity' centre.

    And, I'll have you know, I've got you completely surrounded. Cut off. Pocketed. Do you surrender or die like a foo? I'll accept your surrender by e-mail to preserve the dignity you think you have.

    stevetherat

    [This message has been edited by stevetherat (edited 01-31-2001).]

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    Maple Leaf Up!! The PENG THREAD goes North!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Ah. A refreshing change to the scenery. And I've forgotten my woolies!

    Has GB had a turn yet? I would be glad to sponsor a turn down here (relatively speaking) when the time comes.

    So, what's new? No further updates, Winchman still getting a big foot shoved well and truly home by me, Crocus ditto, Marlon ditto, Chubbychops also ditto (though, strictly speaking, I haven't encountered the last three yet. A new purchase in cammo netting, cunningly disguised as fishnets, has paid dividends for them all).

    Kitty obviously is on the rag, which explains the tears in the new curtains and the rough looking patch on the corner of the sofa. Iksander seems to be a new and highly entertaining addition to the 'Pool. I can see jd getting shot here.

    Anyway, as you were.

    stevetherat

    [Edited to rectify some truly horrific spelling mistakes. And clean up up Kitty's mess. Isn't there a litter tray here?]

    [This message has been edited by stevetherat (edited 01-31-2001).]

    [****, found more! Back to school for me]

    [This message has been edited by stevetherat (edited 01-31-2001).]

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    For Pillar and ScoutPL

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    (clap clap clap)

    Well done Croda. Excellent idea. I too have read both these venerable posters reports and found them incredibly useful (don't worry Croda, I haven't put them to use yet!).

    I would be really interested to see the results. Case studies are always more easily understood when accompanied with visual aids. Especially touchy feely ones!

    stevetherat

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    A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Mace:

    Hummph!

    Yeh! Right! As if!

    Your unterchicks have no hope against the uberhamsters.

    Besides, as Kitty's self-elected almost-knight in shining armour, they'd have to get pass me first!

    Can you say "Deep-fried chicken"? smile.gif

    Mace

    I suggest you make your funeral arrangements. I am lead to believe Walnut is particularly tasteful this season for coffins. Brass fittings would add a rather elegant touch.

    stevetherat

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    A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Folks, volks and croaks

    Obviously, my presence here has been slack of late, and I'm not saying that it won't continue for the rest of this week, but consider yourselves a blessed minority that command my attention, even if it is for about five minutes.

    A few social comments before I get to the meat of my message.

    • There seems to be a large legal representation loitering within the Thread. Is this considered good for general moral, or is it custom to inflict self-administered leech attention on oneself?

    • I have chosen this platform to declare war on Kitty's Hamster Youth army. Shortly, I will conduct interviews with my Army Chicks™®© and post them on my site, along with full colour nude photographs of the chicks in various military poses. Address to follow in due time.

    • I should, either right now or very shortly, have my deity-like mugshot on Lorak's photo page. This is to enable you all to know who the fellow is that attacks you, full frontal, with my PIAT (projector, incendiary anti-Threader).

    OK, some updates:

    Windpansy: As you may have followed, W has in his possession a rather substantial crossroads. He has defended it with approximately 5 metric tonnes of barbed wire, a few very determined Womens Institute combatants, a gun and one or two support weapons. Not a single mine field, I add. Well, none that I have come across anyway.

    Turn 1: While I move into position, the basket killed, without provocation, two, TWO I say, of my Jeeps!

    Turn 2: I counter by destroying the Marder III he has converted into a burger van. I also, to get the message across, pop his two wooden bunkers. He then brings his medieval catapults into action and sets a field on fire. The field approximately 500 metres to my left. I would call that spot on for turn of the millennium machinery. The first millennium that is.

    Turn 3: I am delighted when his WI defenders come out to greet me with what I presume is hot tea and buttered scones. I am fooled. From under their dungarees they pull rifles and machine guns. I suffer minor casualties in, what I call, bad sportsmanship. My letter of complaint is winging its way to the authorities as we speak.

    Turn 4: A very dramatic turn this. First 'Big W' unsheaths a rather nasty gun from his prize cauliflower patch and proceed to engluf my halftracks in balls of flame. I was purposefully avoiding this delicately scented area as I knew the deep personal value W attributed to these floral masterpieces. The depths to which this fellow reaches astounds me. Then, oh yes, there's more, he sneaks round a few Sturmge****z IIIG busses to infiltrate my flank! And you'll never guess what – he has chaps crawling all over them too! A black ball is most definately in order with this bloke if he continues playing his dirty game.

    Turn 5: In a tit-for-tat exchange with one of his Sturmgeishers and one of my Greyhounds (damn spritely dogs those), we knock each other out almost simultaeneously. He still harrasses me at the crossroads but I'm filtering though. I shall make damn sure I capture that tea urn in good order 'cause I'm not budging 'till I get a good cuppa.

    Chubbychops: About to start opening moves in this one. However, I don't think either of us will last very long. He has found it wise to supply a map completely devoid of any cover at all. About one square kilometre of open parkland and three houses. Either he has all his 'troops' in the air, or under ground because they definately 'ain't on it!

    Crobar: Ah yes. One of my little beauties here. A tiny 300 pointer. Just made the first move and not a sign of the chap yet. I'm coming over the brow of a hill into the picturesque valley he calls home.

    Marlon: A fog filled dip in the ground is where I hang my hat in this game. I let my clockwork computer pick the forces and have discovered, much too late, that it might not have been the wisest of decisions. I will not divulge my forces, but let me tell you this. I couldn't even defend myself against a handful of recycled toilet paper.

    OK, that's it for me. Tally Ho!

    stevetherat

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    A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    I was trying to use Netscape 6. It's ****e. I shall instead sing a song (removing the double-post slyly).

    Up above the streets and houses

    Rainbow climbing high

    Everyone can see the rainbow

    Over the sky

    Paint the whole world with a rainbow.

    (checking to see the double-post is safely deposited in back pocket. Yep)

    Thank you, and goodnight. Please drive carefully and quietly as this is a residential neibourhood.

    [This message has been edited by stevetherat (edited 01-23-2001).]

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    A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Wormwhore

    You obviously don't appreciate my tactical genius. The 'rush' on your position ensured a vital surprise element to my attack, which it achieved, as your 'men' - and I use the term loosely - were still interconnected together by their spindle members.

    I notice you didn't mention the pure artwork of driving behind your lines and popping your Marder through the exhaust pipe, carefully avoiding the 'animal farm' nonsense under exhaustive trial there.

    Margo

    The fact that you awarded 2 and 3 turns to that fetid heap of goats intestinal sewage clearly defines you as a mentally retarded, but very excited, vegetable handing out its Jelly Bellies to all and sundry. I feel I have to reap revenge by pulling out your very soul through the hole left by your missing toe nail, which I shall remove with a pair of very old and soiled garden shears. Expect a file which shall offer a quick resolution to this, short term, error of judgement.

    Croney

    Your pathetic whining bores me to tears. Infact, my teardrop storage department has completely run dry (not that it was very big anyway - I am a man afterall) and is awaiting resupply. You, also, I have 'issues' with which can only be settled by walking on the 'path of righteousness' namely, a Challenge?. And again, I have little patience for you either. Small but perfectly formed will be the order of the day.

    Sundrys

    Don't worry, I'll get around to you all later. I'm just picking off the weak, ageing and sub-animal.

    Steve

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