stevetherat
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Posts
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Posts posted by stevetherat
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Mace, should you be looking at porn at this hour?
Go on, give yourself a treat.
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No blooming wonder our beautiful country is falling apart. We employ time wasting blooming foreigners in crucial positions within the fabric of our society, and what do they do instead of protecting our environment/facilitating the Nations finances/supporting our industry/et blooming cetera?
Yes, load up the blooming internet and post blooming messages!
You know who you are. I know who you are. Get blooming working!
stevetherat
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--Yawn alert below--
When I was a nipper (a young lad of school age) I fell in love with a customised car called 'Red Rat'. CB Radio was big in Blighty at that time and that is what I chose for my handle.
After becoming stupedously bored with explaining the whats and whys, I changed it to 'therat'. But that didn't help with the Qs, so I changed it again to stevetherat.
OK, people WAKE UP and move along.
stevetherat
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Originally posted by Iskander:
You, stevethefink, are yet another example of the results of a lifetime of Yorkshire puddings and scones: a head filled with fluff and a gut filled with crap [crap... is crap OK?... poop? is that better?]. If you can raise yourself from your latest Guinness-induced stupor, do drop us a line dear boy... and after smacking yourself in the head with that lemonpeel-wrapped gold bar, try for coherency, I hear it's the latest thing from the Continent (you remember the Continent? That's where we're about to fight... or were you drunk in that class?)
OK, you big pansy. Inbetween washing up, shaving, dressing, and other everyday menial tasks, I may have a slot to put you in. I think the five minutes between when I first sit down and the last clean wipe should be plenty enough for the likes of you.
So send me your files, and I will return them on each and every digested evacuation. I strongly advise that you wash your hands after receiving them. Actually, you may not know what I am talking about. Have you developed hygiene procedures in that big cuntry of yours?
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...the continuous upping and downing of sailors denim pants. That said, I would really like to...
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Ah! So the sojourner returns.
Well, get your freekin' arse into gear and start sending your freekin' files out you freekin' pansy!
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Originally posted by Iskander:
Please Sir, can I have some more?
Lex
Let me first congratulate you on your 2001 quote. I think that, and "You don't know **** 'cause you've never been ****ed in the ass" are my favourite film quotes of all time.
Secondly, you called that a retort to my finely honed calling card? I thought you were just warming up for something more worthwhile. No, it is I who poke YOU in the ribs (or do beings like you have only cartilage? Or is it slime?) to provoke some sort of sign of life (which is most unlikely, as you seem to be some sort of low quality mineral, or vegetable at best).
It makes me shudder uncontrollably, like the entire contents of some queen's (colloq.) stomach has been poured upon my defenceless and naked body, before having large snapping alligators loose around my private area, to think that a amoeba's tick like YOU could possibly gather the gall to challenge ME.
You see, you to me are nothing more than a bead of sweat, slowly working its way down the tired, walnuted gonads of the last diseased vagrant in a huge rushing mass of drunken, puke covered, good for nothing but target practice, foul drop outs, speeding for the last bottle of $1.99 wine.
Do I make myself clear? I thought so.
stevetherat
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Originally posted by Germanboy:
Since the bloody Peng thread has made it to Germany, there is only one thing for me to do - escape to Ireland and get wasted on, err, sample the local brew. Here's to real Guiness.
Weitermachen.
Have a good time with your tartlets, and have a guinny for me!
stevetherat
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Originally posted by Wildman:
As for Game Updates,
Stevetheratboy has every advantage in the book, that evil, evil man Marlow said reenforcments are on the way, however, they will probably show the last turn.
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WHAT!
Reinforcements? I was having fun! You BASTARD Marlow.
(****!)
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What's all this ganging up on Pussy business?
Come get me you Volvo loving, suicidal cheese monger. It's obvious your intellect is rivalled only by the simplest garden tools, so say constructively, humourously, or not at all.*
stephandasratzenburger
* This statement does not, and is not meant to, imply that I make constructive, humourous, or otherwise entertaining posts on this, or any other, forum.
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Oh my God!
This is worse than the Moose feckers. Now it's Alsation humping Frankfurter swallowers. And worse still, it sounds like the East end!
OK, I'll live with it, but under protest.
Aqua Penile: Looking for hurt? Looking for hurt?? Are you suggesting that an ankle biting, pansy like like YOU is gonna hurt a demi hero like ME? On your fecking bike, sonny. The only hurting you're gonna do is to your mummy, when she finally finds out her little boy is a GIRL!
Corpsraider has pleaded with me to make our game easier. The pansy was shaking in his felt booties. I couldn't stand hearing him sob his little eyes out, so I've made another game especially for him. Pansy.
Chubbychops has started to rain down upon my position the most MASSIVE gamey shells possible. They leave craters the size of mass grave pits. Coincidentally, I was looking for somewhere to bury his troops.
Wankman has just sent over his file, so I'm now going to see if he's surrendered yet. He's a stubborn git so he probably hasn't.
I think this is the worst place we've pitted yet. Did you realise the WHOLE German population has the equivalent sense of humour as a SINGLE plankton? It's true.
Anyway, I can see some goosestepping bum bandits heading this way, so feck off and die, the lot of ya.
stevetherat
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How about the German KettenKrad (I think that's what it's called). A motorbike/halftrack.
I'm not serious BTS, just entertaining these fools.
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OK, CorpseRaida, You're on!
(But, you'll have to wait a couple days, as I over did it last night and paid my girlfriend no attention at all. Subsequently, she is mighty pissed and won't let me play on my computer. Bitch.)
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If one of you ProBoner legal secretaries would like to accept a challenge from me, you could consider yourself honoured.
You both obviously have no cases on, and haven't done for quite a while, so I may be able to employ your time a little better (bet that got your pulses racing, hey; 'employ'. You were probably already spending your fantasy twenty dollars. Well, wake up you spineless ambulance chaser leeches, I wouldn't 'employ' you two to wipe my arse. I might consider you as the drip catcher beneath the office gent's, but that is it. Don't think I'm doing you two a favour either. Nothing could be further from the truth. Consider me a public servant, by taxing the reptillian blob you two have as brains, I am keeping you from pestering the helpless souls queueing in your 'projects' hospitals from your 'guaranteed' compensation payouts, of which you keep 80% of 'their' damages and all you had to do was get someone to read a couple of cases to you so you can quote some legal loophole which you disfiguringly twist out of context).
Interested, mummy's boys?
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Originally posted by Chupacabra:
Considering my schedule usually keeps me to two or three turns a week, you should be licking my bloody feet now.
Consider your toes suckled, dear Chuppy.
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So, considering our new language and behaviour policy, how do we taunt each other to a game? I have a couple of slots available and I want to fill them.
Allow me to demonstrate:
Iskander, you hetrosexual, mentally stable, not so good player of CM. I challenge you. So there!
Wildman, Croda and Chuppy you not quite so hetrosexual, very bad players of CM, where are my files?
To all you young and old pretenders, you are bad and I am good. You are ugly and I am... Erm... Not! I have room for one or two more games. If you don't play me then you are scared little babies!
I hope I have not offended anyone, but my challenge is quite serious. Please check your diaries and let me know your availability.
Thank you, and may you have a pleasant day.
Sincerely
stevetherat
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Wiltedman
Stop searching the bloody net for porn and short, perverse news stories that, when compared to you, appear like feckin' geniuses, and send me your grovelling surrender, pansy.
Do you understand?
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UG/OG/whatever, makes no dirrence.
I have encountered your problem before. No, not your mental instability, nor your urinal tract problem, but your CM problem.
It almost always occurs when your AFV officer has had his head (too many h's!) blown clean off his shoulders and down into the muddy tyre grooves it made while, gamily, sniffing Isks rear end. The first 'crew' you encountered was probably an MG post. Iskandy could confirm this.
For a short time, your vehicle will wander, as in a daze, while the crew have a bare fist fight trying to decide the new pecking order.
I strongly advise that you check the movie again, you skirt wearing Scrote, to see if I'm right.
Now go and put some troosers on tranny.
stevetherat
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Just wanted to make sure I was in. I'd like to take the Brits, if any spaces are available. Any unit is good for me.
Cheers, ol' chap
Steve
[This message has been edited by stevetherat (edited 02-05-2001).]
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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:
... and play some tunes from my world famous Udo Lindenberg collection ...
... which relaced my Tom Jones catalogue, due to uncontrollable...
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Hello all. No, I really mean it.
I am in a somewhat sombre and confused state of mind as to whether I should be posting this update here, or if at all.
Anyway, I shall continue as if nothing has happened. Yes, the 'head in the sand' approach suits me fine. For now.
Chuppy has loaded the dice before we started this one. He sent over a map, which he is defending, much reminicing a billiards table. While he watches my every move, he is dug in tighter than a sheep in a holly bush. I take considerable solace in the fact that I have won this battle, whatever the outcome. You see, if I don't actually obtain a surrender or points victory, I have won on principle; the fact that our dear Chup has blatently and transparently cheated worse than a spoilt 5 year old selfish brat that the MoFo™ models himself on. Heads I win, tails you lose Chuppa!
Crudite and I are battling it out on one of my infamous 'longmaps'. He is another defender, though I have no complaint against him. In fact, I have advanced clearly 2 thirds of the map completely undetected. A demonstration of pure tactical genius. I am now in a position to pounce upon the poor fellow at next to even odds, but with a numerical advantage. Your only options, my dear friend, is to either raise your white flag immediately or run like the wind that is building up in your bowel cavity.
Iksander though not officially a clan compadre, is a regular spectator, and I count him in. We are near the end of a spectacular piece of showmanship on my part. Of my forces, which equates to standard Brit. platoon and a Stuart, I have lost a PIAT and a couple of men from my squads. He, on the other hand, is running faster than Mace after spying a particularly tender lamb flicking its pretty eyelashes in his general direction.
Margo has simply disappeared from the face of the world. He was about to enter my foggy valley to pick me out of the lovely flower beds I have made myself home in, but has since failed to show up. I might get up out of my trenches soon and start looking around the village, as it is quite quaint and situated in a beautiful valley.
Whoremoan and I have been slugging out this original 'newbie' battle out for quite some time. To give you some idea of how the battle is progressing, he has not said a word to me in our corespondance for some time. He just sulkily and duely sends his file over for me to toy, humiliate and sacrifice. He is a stubborn chap. I would have thrown in the proverbial towel long ago, but he insists that I travel around mopping up every single panicked and exhausted pathetic combattant.
So, that's my story. Although I know you won't read this, I do feel it my duty, in the vein of the originators, to give fully qualified and honest situations of the 'sitrep'. I could consider it a waste of my time, server space, or whatever. Actually, I do. I shall cease now.
Would you all do me a favour before I go? Go out to the unpopulaced country, collapse unrecoverably and slowly rot while the foxes, birds and insects devour you one mouthful at a time and **** you out in some other part of thw world? Thanks.
stevetherat
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Stuka
Just stay away from lamposts and rope.
Punch anyone who attempts to derobe you.
Drink only shandy. It's a girls drink, but who can tell? You're then less pissed than your mates and ready for a swift counterstrike.
Eat a big breakfast. I have seen a few people fall over at the altar. And, even less attractive, empty the contents of their stomach over the preacher, or your intended.
Have a lovely day.
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Sounds like a great idea if you can pull it off. Count me in.
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New tactical infantry weapon. Superb!
http://www.ilovebacon.com/toys/020101.shtml
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Your name here!
Please post your submissions by replying to this ad.
PENG I TAKE YOUR CHALLANGE TO GERMANY!!
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
Oh my GOD!
It's YOU isn't it? It's YOU who's studying at the LSE. One of the UK's finest post graduate educational establishments. One of the finest in Europe, even. And it's YOU who's studying there.
Oh my GOD!
I find it especially insulting as I studied there. Yes, ME. A pillar of society, a tax paying National that subsidises the hoards of blooming foreigners like YOU.
Oh my GOD!
Quick, get me an Asprin™. I need to lie down!
stevetherat