Seanachai

Jesus-on-a-crutch-attempting-semaphore-Christ, that is one of the worst fecking songs ever.

Don't be an ass. No one wants to see any more of the Finns than we've already been subjected to. Of course, a wargame totally devoted to the exploits of 'Greater Finland' would be an instant financial success. Don't those bastards have to pay for their utilities, or what is the deal?

Okay, I swear I will never get that drunk again... Where's the goddamn Peng Challenge Thread? Who are these people? Why are people whinging? What the hell is Combat Mission: Shock Force?! Ah. It's some sort of new 'Game Announcement' contretemps. Hmmm...there seem to be people who aren't happy. What can I say? BFC, remember: Those who don't learn that there is 'History' are forced to explain 'Intelligent Design' to cheering packs of demons in the nethermost regions of Hell for Eternity (or until 'Intelligent Design' makes any kind of sense, so, if you have a choice, go with 'Eternity'). I'm pretty sure that 'History' extends beyond a ten year period in the mid-1900s. Now, I've been dead-drunk for several weeks. Can someone tell me what the new game is all about?

Ah, yes. Those were the 'Golden' days of stalking!

No prob. I love you too, my son, although you pretend to doubt me...

You know, you go on about this all the time. Like I've got enough focus or coherence to 'spam' your arse. Idjit. You may have 'enemies', but you're looking for hate in all the wrong places...

That's never after being what your mother told me, son.

Shouldn't you get busy explaining why you wish you were my son?

Don't give me that, you ass! What's your goddamn first name?!

You're such an Aussie pussy. You're correct, of course, but you simply do not understand the American psyche. The children aren't simply going to blame and resent him, they will, in the very near future, move to eliminate him. Given their age, I imagine it will be be by getting him disgustingly drunk, and then encouraging him to drive home in anticipation of his death by rolling his car in a ditch, or turned into a metallic smear on the grill of an 18 wheeler. Or they'll simply use household chemicals to poison his post-game beer. You goddamn Australians...you're a bunch of fecking wimps. You don't understand the true horror of living in America. We can no longer afford the old, the stupid, or the foolish. And our children realize that. Bugger the workplace. When you can no longer compete or provide any benefit, our fecking children will put you away. God bless 'em!

Nah, nah, now. We're all friends here, then, eh? You seem a good lad. Leave being a right annoying bastard to people like me. It's what I do. And I've been after pushing Bravo around a bit, which is going to make him talk louder than he means to, you know?

Of course. And I did read your profile. I hope you teach math, or something like it. This country needs more good teachers, and it needs to honor them, and pay them a decent wage. Of course, I'd hope that your average teacher could spell, use grammar correctly, wouldn't use history in a fairly random way to support their own agenda, wouldn't belittle other's political views as being effete simply because they could spell, use grammar (relatively) correctly, and were willing, in a Nation that embraces freedom, to espouse a contrary viewpoint. But then, I'm probably a hippy, draft-dodging liberal pussy who most likely voted Democrat in the last election when a Pro-American Administration consistently worked to reduce or eliminate benefits to Veterans as part of their stated 'reduction in services as opposed to taxes' policy aimed at paying for a war that none of them would ever have actually been willing or required to serve in. On the other hand, I believe we've gotten off to a bad start. Frankly, I'm one of those 'Liberal Bullies' that you constantly encounter on the American political landscape, always willing to make a mockery of the freedoms that are mine without stopping to consider if I actually deserve them. And I don't. On the other hand, that doesn't mean that I don't revere freedom. Even when it benefits as sorry a creature as myself. So lets agree that we don't necessarily see the world the same way. I'll continue to use mockery, intellectual slipperiness, and proper spelling as a means of promoting my beliefs, but I'll also continue to honour those who've fought for this country. And we won't have to talk about things like my goddamn great-grandfather being turned away from entering this country in New York, and coming in through Canada because he was Irish. Or how, once he got to America, he served in the Wisconsin Regiment, even though he was only 14 years old, during the American Civil War. And how, to this day, I have to listen to the bloody Southerners go on about the wonderful 'War of Southern Independence'. Hell no! You see, I know that it's a fecking privilege to live in this country. I was one year too young to serve in the final stages of Viet Nam. I was far too old to serve in the Gulf Wars. But there's not one day that goes by that doesn't tell me that somehow, I've failed my country, because all I've ever done is love it! But you know, I understand your unwillingness to regard me as a 'Real American'. I never served. So it's no wonder that I despise the American Service Man. My Dad was in the artillery in Korea. Until he got transferred over to the ASA (the officers seconded over to the NSA during the war). That's probably where I got my sneaky, unappreciative streak. Like I say, we simply got off on the wrong foot. But don't be after implying that I'm some kind of hippy wuss, please. I mean, do you actually expect me to be able to go on with that sort of shame?! Do you want to be responsible for my suicide?!!!

Valley Forge involved no fighting, and a great many of the troops did buggger off, given the hideous conditions. The troops at the Alamo did, in fact, fight to the death. Of course, a fair chunk of them were Hispanics who were in revolt against the Colonial government. And whether Anglo or Hispanic, they were fighting for survival, not simply an ideal. If they lost, they were going to lose everything. Dunkirk? The point there was not to fight to the last man, but to retreat as many men as possible in the face of crushing defeat. Um...I'm not sure how to put this to you. Valley Forge certainly qualifies (roughly, given that this nation didn't actually exist yet) for the rubric 'so that this nation shall not perish from the earth'. But the Alamo had nothing to do with the survival of the American nation, and was, in fact, much more about an attempt to set-up an independent nation by Anglo expats and Hispanic rebels. And Dunkirk was an extraordinary tribute to the will power of the Brits not to succumb to their crushing defeat in Europe, but also had absolutely nothing to do with America or it's survival as a nation, especially given that America was almost insanely opposed to entering the war in Europe at the time that Dunkirk took place. Unless, of course, you're using the phrase 'that this nation should not perish from the earth' in a much larger, weirder, general way, that could equally be applied to Hitler's counter-attack in the Ardennes, or Stalin's willingness to sacrifice tens of thousands in mindless, desperate attacks. Of course, if you are, I'm not sure what your freaking point is. And as for drums and flowers on the corner? I'm across the way on the second floor, guy, scoping out fields of fire. Fortunately for you, my tactical ineptitude is a matter of record. Not to mention that your philosophical and political stand is confusing my troops. I'd lead a pogrom against you, but I can't decide whether to base it on your simplistic view of history, or the fact that you think Dunkirk was an example of American steadfastness in the face of adversity...

I'd like to think 'naive'. And as for fighting 'injured', well, it's your interpretation that every casualty represents 'killed or capable'. As for gore, there's always been two schools of thought here, and they are 'show the horrors of war', and 'organs and blood splashed over the landscape would be so cool!' Frankly, your posts so far come down more on the latter than the former. I may have misinterpreted you, but your concentration on concepts of 'heroism', 'honour' and 'coolness' don't speak to someone who regards war as a bitterness, but a game, and I see no reason why a wargame should play into the same dysfunction. Also, your immediate assumption that because I don't view 'war' the same way you do, I must be 'a democrat'. That is, apparently, in your world, a pussy. Do I need to tell you about my friends and family members who, despite your characterization, also went to war and served honourably? And they're not necessarily 'Republicans'. That remark cheapens anything else you might have to say. But, to be fair, I was the one who taunted you. So I'll give you the point, even while I regard your remark as 'fecking stupid'. Acknowledged. But you're the one who's been tossing around terms like 'honour' and 'heroic' in your posts. Read them again, if you don't believe me. And you've applied them in an ideological way. And, so far, only as regards 'The Germans' in terms of scenarios. So forgive me if I didn't recognize your Universal Sympathy With Soldiers, as opposed to a guy who's been talking about how German troops should be given more credit for 'Heroic, honourable combat struggles'. My bad, then. I didn't think of you as a 'warmonger'. I was reading your posts as another 'I think the Germans should be regarded as cool warriors!' poster. I'm not sure I see anything to regard them differently. Can't remember the last time I saw some kid blow away a bunch of people and blaming it on video games. That's done by Society, Defense Attorneys, and Right Wing fecksticks who claim that's what Democrats do... I wasn't threatening you, actually, although you didn't return the favour, but I know that my points are often obscure and bizarre, so I don't take offense. I was talking about the reality of whether wounded soldiers were immediately returned to combat (in anything other than desperate situations, and not even then as much as the movies would lead one to believe), especially in tactical situations meant to represent a relatively short period of time, combat-wise. And whether you understood that 'walking wounded' were probably still modeled in the game, in terms of the short run. Your desire to support your buddies does you credit, but I'm sure that, given your combat experience in Somalia and Iraq, you're quite aware of the fact that a wounded soldier wasn't simply patched up and immediately sent back into combat, given the 'tactical' level of the CM games. Eww...Pittsburgh?! That's even more horrifically awful than Chicago! Look at my profile. I'm a Vikings supporter. The poor, useless bastards. Apply the same attitude towards the Allies that I've seen you only going on about as regards the Nazis, and I'll be more than happy to acknowledge that I've been a smarmy, arrogant bastard as regards your posts. I will continue to be a smarmy, arrogant bastard as regards your posts, but that's simply my nature. I'm not after changing it for you, especially after you dismissed me as a 'Democrat', you bugger.

Wow! That's so, uh...stereotypically 'Germanic' of you! I'd love to see this too! Frankly nothing, absolutely nothing is more significant than modeling inane fanaticism. Because that's where honor lies! Perhaps a scenario where the German army is putting up a huge fight to keep the Allies from capturing a Concentration Camp before all the evidence is disposed of? That's neither 'victory', nor 'heroic'. That's either the exigency of simple survival in the face of extermination, or the unwillingness to surrender a belief system that requires insane zealotry. Terms like 'heroic', and 'victory' frankly, would only be applied by Nazi ideologues. Just like Hitler, eh?

'Humane Wall'? By all the gods, now that's good gibberish! I can't help but feel that panic isn't necessarily solved by being subject to the psychoses of everyone in a landscape of violence. Umm..justifiable civilians/innocents? Maybe you should have a beer, listen to some soothing music, go out and shoot 'justifiable children' in the neighbourhood, you know? Yeah, that's the ticket. And, you know, you could, like, I dunno, tell the War Crimes Tribunal that it was your buddy that shot the prisoners! Am I the only one that wonders why you want the ability to shoot prisoners and non-combatants, but don't have the freaking patience to issue orders to an entire battalion? What is this, 'Short Attention Span Violence'? And a particularly weird one. Are you asking for the ability for 'Dueling Bombardments', where navy ships compete to kill things miles away inland? I fail to see how this would make the game interesting. Well, no, no one had to, but I'm not surprised that you did. You know, I think you're missing the real point here. I think you're not listening hard enough to the fact that your neighbour's dog wants you to ghost around the neighbourhood late at night and kill people sitting in their cars. Especially couples who're indulging in carnal interaction. Or who refuse to charge that machine-gun bunker. I think, if you listen a bit harder to the whispered instructions and concentrate on the fact that girls think you're creepy, you won't even need to play Wargames. Yeah, and if those buggers with sucking chest wounds don't wanna get up and 'win one for the Gipper', you could always shoot the sons o' bitches! I don't think you have any concept of the 'scale' of the game. Or any concept of what it means to be shot. But I'm on your side. Really! I tell you what, you let me shoot you in the leg with my buddy's 9mm, and then, if you can post again about getting the wounded to 'pull their weight', I'll simply club you into unconsciousness, rather than shooting you a couple of more times in the groin. You gotta admit, that's fair, not to mention the quintessence of Historical Realism. Uh, yeah! Go, Bears! No, no. Idiocy on this level is always new and refreshing! Now, don't you think it's time to put on dark clothing and see if anyone is sitting in a car necking?

What, now you're going to pander to Commonwealth needs for pornography?

My powers are growing...weak. I am spread thin, like butter scraped over too much bread, to quote Bilbo Baggins. I fade...I fade... I'm fluttering out. It does me good, of course, to realize that even as the Candle of My Abilities gutters out, I'm still a GODDAMN BEACON OF ABILITIES COMPARED TO MOST OF YOU LOT! I'm listening to Adam Astbury on iTunes, and I think it is 'good'. v42Below, I demand that you lie down before me and make little yipping noises, like a puppy that has just soiled the rug.

You don't know what it is to be Me, you lot of wasted sperm. The Demands. The Horrors. The Nightmare. Is it any wonder I grow tired? That I am old before my time?! That I claw forward, inch by inch, to stay ahead of your idiocy? And now, I hear, Grog Dorosh is once again offering 'Dating Advice' on the General Forum. It is not to be bourn. Here, one of you newly arrived pissants. Buff my shoes with your tongue.

Look, we've discussed this before. Stop handing out ale to the children before the game. The motivational beers follow the game, not precede it.

Because it's so much like Canada? </font>

Practicing for you debut in the remake of 'Quest for Fire'? I wanna see a Dire Cat chase your English arse up a small tree...

Or perhaps a gun, with a bullet in the chamber? </font>

That's nothing. I just returned from a Nordic Roots Music Festival at the Cedar Cultural Center. Not only did I have to listen to music by Swedes, but the headliner group were fecking Finns. Although the Finnish group did include one Norwegian. He was the only one with a distinguishable sense of humour. Or it might have been his odd grasp of English that made what he said funny, it's hard to say. Actually, the first group that was 'Swedish' was this rather lovely Swedish woman playing the viola, and this guy from Senegal who now lives in Sweden who played the West African instrument the Kora. The were joined on stage by two local musicians that they're friends with, a jazz guitar player and a guy whose roots seem to be in bluegrass/mountain music (which basically makes it Scots Irish). Very eclectic. The Finnish group had two guys who did basically all the talking (except when they turned the Norwegian loose to try and show that Square-heads have a sense of humour), and they spoke very good English. But, like most Finns speaking English, they sounded like the kid characters from South Park. Queer and disturbing. Aren't there any Finns who don't speak in some bizarre nasal upper register? It was like spending a weekend with Chicagoans trying to do the voice-track from the movie 'Fargo'. But the tickets were free, courtesy of a much younger friend, and at least the Finns had one woman (out of seven members) who was very attractive. She never spoke, just stood there and played fiddle while wearing a pair of purple jeans that looked like they may have been painted on to her. Of course, none of this is addressing Hortlund's dilemma regarding his blooming infatuation with a client's daughter. Hortlund: You're a lawyer, for the love of God! Where's the problem? Do the same thing to her you're probably already doing to her father. Just make it more literal than figurative. Just make sure you use some form of protection, or we'll have to have a whip-round to buy the poor wee lass the 'morning after' pill.

What's that lovely line from that sad, utterly stupid movie? 'Wearing a kilt means never having to do your laundry' Or something like that. Resend has been re-sent, you great, quasi-articulate puddle of kidney filtered ale.