Seanachai
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Posts posted by Seanachai
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Never fear fellow Pengians. I have carefully laid out an outline of a rum bottle on the floor, within which the Seanachai cannot exercise his own will.
Oh, for the love of...
It was Dalem?!
He must of thought it was white boy day.
Hey, Boo, is it white boy day?
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So the Scottish woman says to the bartender --
What the feck?! Where the hell have I incarnated now?!
And what the hell is that smell?! Someone needs to put their gastroenterologist on danger money...
Wait! I remember it now...
I'm in the Cesspool, aren't I?
Well, well, well. Been a bloody damn long time. sniff
Hmmm...this is what passes for the Thread of Threads these days? Good gods...
Is Shaw still alive? Might as well observe the edicts.
SHAW! JUSTICAR OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD! I AM AN OLD ONE OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD! HEAR MY -
****e...just a moment while I pull up the PDF...something about...well, no, not 'petition'; I'm a goddamn Old One. I don't 'petition' anyone. Christ on a crutch... I'm summoned from the Wasteland (where, I might add, I was happily boozing away my time, as is only right), tumpty tumpty tumpty... Improper and unauthorized invocation...
Ah, here it is!
SHAW, JUSTICAR OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD! I AM AN OLD ONE, ANCIENT AND WISE! I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED FROM THE WASTELAND, AND DRAWN HERE AGAINST MY WILL! I TASK YOU, JUSTICAR, WITH --
A sod this for a game of tin soldiers! Shaw, you tit! Why have I been pulled away from my bottl - er... from maintaining the Balance of the Universe?
And don't come the high hat with me and tell me that I'm imagining it. I distinctly heard my name invoked.
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Great Fred! Unable to notch any victories in battle, and too senile to post any new material, Joe is now bragging about past posts? I suppose we should be impressed that he can remember that far back.
Who are you, who swears in the name of 'Great Fred'? I do not permit the unworthy to invoke his name, nor sing his hymn...
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So. We have received this new implement of destruction, aptly named (or at least named) Combat Mission: Beyond Normandy. For my first game I require that an Olde One or possibly The Justicar send me a setup so that I may crush, maim and incinerate their virtual troops until they're all very sorry. Other lesser beings, like Australians and Donkeys will be considered. As always, we aim to please.
The Old Firm
Can't play it, Geier. Don't have the system. Sank all my money into still being able to play CMB1. Never looked back.
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Aarghhh : PBEM
If only it was muscular Seanachai to firmly correct me!
You fecking goofball. You know I'm a fat old man, due for death at any moment! But I know you're so damn cute, I wish I could stare deeply into your eyes and sing a song before death comes for me.
But I'm still able to kayak 12-15 miles, flat water lakes, no current.
STRONG! STRONG, LIKE BULL!
When Death comes for me, Sturmy, I'm going to make sure he knows that You're One of Mine. And He'd better piss off.
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I'm not getting my much needed attention! Where have all my loyal minions gone to ?
Anyway, now that i've got this new game, who wants to have the honour of a PBM game? He or she or she-he or he-she would certainly grow an even closer bond with me! me!
Now, don't make me wait too long, or i'll be forced to visit this stinking Pool some more!
WHEEEEE! Man. And I used to wonder if Belgium was gay enough...
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Joebob, but as you well know when the alzheimers isn't kicking in, it takes a vote and 2 out of 3 members of the olde Ones to change anything. As much as Seanachai would love to think he has that power, he indeed, does not. Also, I have pictures of what he did to my Shar Pei while at my house, drinking a Fine Whiskey.
Rune
Rune, you need to remember that Here, you have No F*cking Power At All. None.
You can wave whatever you want to in the air. An NDA, Beta tester standing, you name it.
When you come here, it is to Our House. Berli the Evil One, does not post, and Peng the Awful One does not post. But do you truly think that the Old Ones of the Peng Challenge are not in contact? Do you think that after all these years, we're not capable of dealing with the claims of someone like you?
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Seanachai, why is it that you post only in the middle of the night in the New World, when only Aussie gits and an occasional Sheep Shagger are listening?
How are you olde sod?
My friend, the new kayaking season is upon me. I remain strong in my Small Friends, whose teachings everyone could learn from. I am getting damn old, and every goddamn day, I have some new ache or pain. I'm too old. I'm too fat. I'm breaking down. But I like to think that my spirit is goddamn indomitable. Certainly I feel that I'm up to coming in here and telling a bunch of fecking pansies that they need to meet my standards of entertaining me, or they can simply feck off.
You know how it is. I hate everyone over the age of 8. Well, not grown-ups like you, and some of the others.
Smaller Nora is coming right along in her 'I've got a stick, and someone's going to eat their teeth' approach to the world.
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Ah. Glad to see you still alive and wellKurtzachai. After all we do have you to thank and curse for the MBT, and many glorious CM battles. For those still here, and for those long departed who remain only in memory (digital or the more fleshy sort). Much like the after effects of a long night of beer and nachos, your lingering presence is vaguely disgusting, and yet somehow comforting in its ...em ... regularity.
So a heart-felt thanks to you, the Bard Eternal of the Cesspool.
Though you know I am still sworn to kill you eventually.
Marlow, right? Caught in some 'I had to restart my account after having died the death'?
Welcome back. I abide.
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I feel somewhat proud that I knew what each of those words were. Even if it was merely in theory.
And it is only in 'theory' that Berli, MrPeng and I rule here. We've left a goddamn cornucopia of rights, privileges and absolutions. We've placed seneschals, deputies and vassals. We've taken every step possible to acknowledge the rights of the People of the Thread.
I have, personally, created an entire freaking mythology around the Progress of the People of the Thread across the Wasteland, ever pursuing the newest, bestest, most spectacular incarnation of the Game, and given them a theater in which to Challenge each other.
But you know what? Sod that sh*t for a lark. I need to see some groveling. Abandoned Deities of Forsaken Religions (bent over in the dust and taken roughly from behind), but someone needs to step up and kiss my goddamn feet. You people are giving me the Red Arse.
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Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke.....
Milady, I bow down. I remain steadfast in my devotion.
The Old Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread might rule, but we never forget what we really want.
To quote Bill Morrissey:
Everything slips, through these cold fingers
Like trying to hold water
Trying to hold sand...
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Does the "mad old man" have a load on?
What? You'd deny a man a drop of the true?
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Once more the scum rises to the top.
You know, Speedy, that we've never doubted you...
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The mad old man begins to tell a story. It is a story he has told many, many times before. Every telling anchors him to the world. Everyone who hears the story laughs. Every time they laugh, they think about the story. Every time they laugh, the story changes. Every time they think about the story, they dismiss it. Every time they laugh, they confirm it. Every time they dismiss the story, they want to hear another story. Every time he tells another story, the mad old man becomes a little madder...
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The rain is Tess
And the snow is Boo
and they call the wind Joe Shaw...
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Good grief... Seanachoo-whatever is out again, posting his tripe...
who unlocked the door to the lower level cells?
(and curse the world for having me up at 2:00am and NOT playing CMBN... I've been doing work... WORK I tell you. Curse you all, you gamey-playing rat-bastiges...)
Do you forget who I am? There's not a one of you who would be here, if not for me. And I would not be here, if it was not for you lot.
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You want me to wait till July 15th to get drunk?
You heartless bastard.
Speedy, I abase myself in my contrition. I never meant to indicate that you should wait until July to get drunk. I simply meant that, if you could wait until July 15th to go completely Australian, then I stood to earn a huge packet of money from MrPeng and Berli.
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Like I said, NFI
We've got good Aussies here. Well, horrible Aussies, actually. But they're ours.
My question is: Who the f*ck are you then, eh?
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Oh no he's back.
I never actually leave. Speedy, you annoying idjit, you and I began here in this place.
I might mention that I'm taking bets with the other 'Old Ones' as to when you're going to get in enough trouble that you won't be able to post here anymore. I'd tell you the incredibly complicated series of odds involving your continued posting here (and you are one of the first and eldest of posters), but it would cause the entire betting 'waveform' to collapse, and entire gambling dependencies would be taken down and destroyed.
As an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread, I can't be having with that. Although, should it occur to you, and should you be so inclined, if on July 15th you should decide to ignore all previous indications, and get dead fecking drunk, and decide to race the police, and eventually be taken into custody, and be charged with multiple offenses, well, I'll only say that I will be treating a large section of Minneapolis to champagne and lobster, me old son.
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So you're like Stuka then.
Lad, I will never be 'Like Stuka'. And when Stuka is like me, he'll already be dead...
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Of course not, you are 'Merkin and ergo have no understanding of the word.
Well, I'm 'Merkin, and I have a damn good understanding of what the word means.
Sometimes, you know, it means some Aussie git is posturing about and trying to sound like he's part of the Secret Marsupial Hegemony that decides who is and isn't drunk enough to be called 'mate'.
Sometimes it means that, after being called 'mate', you're going to have to drive 90 miles into the fecking desert to bury a body. Anywhere else on goddamn earth, you'd only have to drive 30 or 40 miles into the countryside to bury the body. I mean, what the f*ck is it with you Australians? You live in that country like the rind on fruit, but when you kill someone, you still insist on driving at least 90 miles to nowhere to bury the body. Thirty fecking miles outside of any of your major 'cities' is like being on the face of the goddamn moon. Seriously. There's such a thing as being 'too thorough'. Gods, I hate Australians.
But let's not get started on that old argument.
Sometimes 'mate' simply means that you've found someone who's as lost and foolish in the Universe as you, but you can have a beer together, and work on it.
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{serious} And I'd appreciate it if you all could lay off the fact that I can't afford a better computer right now. There are things going on here that make buying a new computer so I can play a game a frivolous expense. M'kay? Thanks. {/serious}
Oh, dear. Boo, is the chaff and idiocy of tourists making you uncomfortable? Are they teasing you?! Are they asking when they're going to be taken to the photo opportunity where the mural of the 'Suppliant Maidens' shimmying out of their blouses is picked out in colored tiles? Are you worried about the fact that you're A GODDAMN SENIOUR KNIGHT OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, AND NOT SOME FECKING TOUR GUIDE HERE TO SHOW THEM THE WAY TO THE NEWEST COLLECTION OF DIRTY POSTCARDS AS REPRESENTED BY THE 'GAME'?!
Boo, as you know, I am a mild mannered man. I like to dance about, and sing a bit, and make the odd reference to much more intelligent things than most of this lot will ever come up with, let alone understand.
But, I am an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread. And therefore, I recommend to you, and support you in, telling your enemies that they can s*** **** ****, f*** their *******, die like a weasel caught in a mincer, that they're filthy c**********, child rapists, and sodden, used pieces of a******, and that they can run up the trouser leg of hell and nest in Satan's private parts. I could go on, but you and I both know that my ability at invective and abuse is so far beyond anything this lot of pant's-pissing children could come up with as to require a doctoral thesis to explicate it.
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You're all a gang of idjits. You realize that, don't you? Now, form ranks, and make sure the barbarians who roll in their own filth aren't allowed in here to make endless, boring sh*t jokes, eh?
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Though it's not the kind
Of love you might hope to find
If tears could release the heart
From the shadows preferred by the mind
Like a wind that comes up in the night
Caressing your face while you sleep
Love will fill your eyes with the sight
Of a world you can't hope to keep
Dreaming on after that moment's gone
The light in your lover's eyes
Disappears with the light of the dawn
But the morning brings
Strength to your restless wings
And some other lover sings
To the sun's bright corona
I know all about these things
Linda paloma
The Peng Challenge Thread The Chunder in Red Thunder!
in Combat Mission Red Thunder
Posted
Miscreant. Reprobate. Fool.
I'm not locked in here by you.
You're now locked in here with me.
GATHER, DARKNESS.