Seanachai
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Posts posted by Seanachai
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Oh, yeah, and I forgot.
WHERE'S MY GODDAMN DRINK, YOU USELESS WHORES?!
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This Kohlenklau. Which is he? Did he bring us news of Emrys?
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Yes, yes, I know it was Cajones66 (not bolded because he was a loon), and yes, I know he was your Arch Nemesis (he was a loon), but HE, not you, broke the seals! He named the Horsemen (why he chose the four of us, is beyond my ken... he was a loon). So I say, with all due reverence to your pickled liver, sod right the Hell off.
He was, in his insanity, the 'Wise Fool' of legend. He was the one that revealed to us 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso'. We shall never know what went through his head before he spewed forth his anger and hatred, and indictment of 'the Four Horsemen'. But let us not forget to remember him, who, through his complete weirdness, taught us that Michael Emrys was one of the Horsemen.
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I am here. Again.
That is a simple statement.
I began this place. I poured untold hundreds of posts, and the hours making them, into this long, weird, never-ending thread.
I wrapped mythology, story, satire, and mockery into one place, and I asked my peers to join me.
I am goddamn sure that there's no one here that could do the same now.
I came back to find out how Michael Emrys is doing, because I LIKE Emrys. If I decide to stay, I will get to the rest of you freaking little yapping dogs later.
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You're clearly not in the know.
All the best
Andreas
I have missed him. So much. Others await our judgement, regarding their intelligence. He, at least, is free.
I could wish that more of you lot were able to say the same.
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Gods! Seanachai, when will you ever shut the Hell up? YOU don't get to appoint ANY of the Horseman of the Apocalypso. Knobjob62, or whatever his silly ass user name was, is the only one that gets to do that.
What a daft bugger you are. It was Cabron66 (bolded simply because he was AMAZINGLY weird, and so deserving of his own moment), who did so. But I was his Arch Nemesis (he followed me into the Peng Challenge Thread, and then, little whore that he was, he abandoned me to try and pick a fight with MrPeng). Calm down, Berli. You've never had your own Arch Enemy. I know how that must weigh upon you.
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Personally I view Kniggethood as sort of the management of the cesspool. As with anywhere else the higher one goes in management, the more brain cells one seems to lose trying to utilize as many of the latest buzz words while speaking. This is of course excepting my sire Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House.
I do not know who this complete and obvious idiot is, but I can't help but admire his honest admission of stupidity. Is Shaw still here? Is Boo sober? Perhaps we could do something for the lad? A whip-round, so he can buy himself into the beggar's guild, and get a good corner?
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So, feck all this. I may have many, many things to say to some of you later. Even perhaps some of you younger, totally anonymous gits, whose names and putative identities I might learn later, if it seems worthwhile, but it probably won't, because you're almost certainly not worth it. Believe me, I know.
But I came here to find out about Emrys, one of the Horsemen. And yes, I've been to the Thread about him. I want to know if any of you useless shower of bastards have any more info about him.
Oh, and whatever bugger went and called, and pounded on doors, and tried to find out where Emrys was? It's not much, lad, but you're a Seniour Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread, by all the gods. I know you're out there. Someone, Boo, per choice, get me the bugger's name.
Emrys is IMPORTANT.
Not like most of you shower.
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Unfortunately you starting a new thread Story Teller, seems to have awakened groups of Aussies who have not been around here for quite sometime. We were quite happy with their absence, have you not heard of the phrase. "Let sleeping dogs lie"
One of my 'special powers' as an Old One, is to drive the Ozzies into a frenzy. I think it has something to do with my affinity to drink. The goddamn Australians aren't about anything, if not about the drink. And I honour them for that, if nothing else.
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Feck this. I'm an old man. In fact, I'm one of the Old Ones. Where the hell is Emrys? He'd best be alright. In fact, I demand he hobble out here, himself, and tell me so.
I'm waiting, Emrys.
Sod this, for a game of tin soldiers.
Emrys, you bugger. I need to know that you're alright. Post when you can. I've been away too long. Who the hell am I going to appoint to be one of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypso if you're non compos mantis?
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Man, I hate beginning a new thread between the hours when everyone in North America passed out, and everyone in Australia woke up and started drinking.
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Lads? Close it down. Although I always loved your mothers.
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So, it seems that I have begun a totally new Peng Challenge Thread, eh?
Well, you know what? I can totally DO that.
That's one of Our powers. The Old Ones, that is. The One Who Capers, the One Who Judges, and the One Who Cuts the Thread.
Three Old Ones.
So...what's going on? Someone who isn't a fecking idiot, fill me in?
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Yeah, now I'm getting pissed off. Boo Radley, stop using that avatar, with the guy smoking a pipe, because it is seriously giving me the Red Ass. That is not you. Is this where I should be posting? **** this ****. If I POST TO THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, THAT IS WHERE IT SHOULD HAPPEN.
You don't get to be a goddamn Old One because you were pissing in a corner when they were handing out personas. Trust me.
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Goddamn it! Someone get the fecking Justicar, and get him to make me a goddamn bloody mary! What kind of shower of stupid bastards am I going to have to deal with if I stay here?! I hate it when I get the fecking call! I've seen Boo's name here. Boo Radley, you bastard! What's going on? I was woken from my goddamn grave the other day, to post under Dalem's, signature, to respond to some utter halfwit. Is he still posting? Should I even be here?
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Long time have I been gone. Long, and long. Are my Knights here? Where is my Justicar? Are there still Australians? I know what is with the Old Ones. Last one left, still willing to speak. Long have I been asleep.
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Looks around, is confused...
Notices the names of the Folk, takes consolation...
Am I here, Oh Folk of the Peng Challenge Thread? Long time I have been gone...
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Things change, and yet remain the same.
There was, upon a time, a great and worthy place. It existed between the 'Everyday', and the 'What a Strange Place'. People posted there. Some, by choice, were given over to strangeness, and some simply wondered.
If you have been here, you know where you are. If you think you know where you are, then you actually know nothing.
THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD WOULD HAVE BEEN CANCELLED BY FOX TV AFTER 3OO POSTS.
But that's not where you are, is it? I'm pretty sure there are no 'new' posters here. Probably not for a long time. Why would there be? Nothing to draw them in.
Except this. We are one of the longest running Threads anywhere.
Here, you will encounter it all. Mythology, magic, abuse, mockery. Song and poetry. Hatred of the Norwegians, Swedes and Finns! C'mon, fer chrissake! EVERYONE hates the Squareheads!
And yet, here...you will come to grips with all your hatreds. And you will, one by one, put them aside. Because, here, as you learn to understand the Peng Challenge, you will learn to understand those you've always despised.
For some of you, that will be your father (quite a lot of you bastards, I'm willing to bet), and for some of you, your mother. Some of you will despise some, or all of your siblings.
But here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we're going to take you, by the process of SERIOUSLY DESPISING A NEW BROTHERHOOD OF USELESS FECKS, to an acceptance of the people who've, hopefully, loved you all your lives. And then you can embrace them.
So, don't worry about that Bad Christmas with your parents, when your brother came out as gay, or the year your sister admitted she'd been working as a prostitute for the last three years, or when your father admitted he'd been screwing your 18 year old cousin for the last 2 years.
Because, if you qualify as a Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread, you can rest assured of one thing. We hate you. And we'll never go back on the promise of that.
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Sigh...
I'm going to need a list of the Real Knights, who are still posting, and I'm going to need a list of the 'Not Completely Useless Fecking Wankers' that are currently posting, and I'm going to need a list of those who are simply Useless Fecking ****es, who post whether anyone wants them to or not. You know the drill.
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You're kidding, right? You get all likkered up and before you can say "Boo's your uncle" you're hanging off of clueless Japanese tourists, crying like the gate guard at the Wizard's Palace in the Emerald City, telling them about your dear old Aunt Em.
Get a couple of Cuba Libres into you and you suddenly become everybody's best friend, inviting yourself over, declaring their drinks cabinet as your personal fiefdom.
The thing is, you may be a tramp, but you're OUR tramp.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got 'Father Issues', sure. And I understand your resentment, given that I 'abandoned' you to the ministrations of Joe Shaw and that raised up a whole host of ghosts that brought you 'round to abusing me.
But you know what, Oh, Boo? I am NOT a tramp. I'm an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread, and I left a number of you apparently useless wankers in charge of the Kingdom I'd created, and now I've come back, to see what you've made of it.
Good lord. Is that a rusted child's tricycle lying in a pile of stale dog-****?!
Oh. Well done. Stout fellows, backbone of England, give every Finn a pinecone, etc, etc. etc.
You and Joe Shaw were left a Stewardship. And what have you made of it?
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Seanachai graduated to "Mythical Beast" some while ago now, Alice. Maybe our resident 'crep can give us a date for his transmutation? Michael? I miss the songs. And poemry.
Did that f*cking little c*nt just call me 'mythical'?! Come gie us a hug, you little wanker, and I'll show you who's fecking 'mythical'.
Call me 'mythical'?! I won't hear that from you, Custard.
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I see the Australians are still here. Good. That means the place hasn't completely gone into the ****ter.
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I've taken on a lot of estrogen and developed a fine set of donkey boobs. Look, see how they sway?
I am now eligible to be Emrys very own, personal Harpy.
*Quack*
I SWEAR TO FECKING CHRIST, IF I EVER HAVE THIS MUCH TROUBLE LOGGING IN AND POSTING AGAIN, I WILL BURY A HANDAXE INTO SOMEONE'S GODDAMN HEAD!
That being said, I wish all to remember that Emrys is not only a Senior Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread, but is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso.
As such, he does not need to look at, comment on, or contemplate any donkey's hormone therapy results.
Yeknod. It is good to see that you are still alive. Emrys, I have missed you. To my credit, I have spent much of the time drunk, and/or working.
Boo Radley, step forward and remind me who is worthy enough for me to address.
Christ on a crutch. Who do i have to smite with a handaxe to get a goddamn drink around here?
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Emrys is indeed a real member of the 'Pool.
And, He is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso.
The Old Ones remember.
The Peng Challenge Thread: Some one get me a drink, and tell me what's going on, eh?
in Combat Mission Red Thunder
Posted
Good...gods...So...
I've been drinking in the Wasteland for ages. Peng was there. He wandered off. That's his way. Always on Walkabout. Berli? I know all about Berli, me lads. Could hit him with a snowball, from my place, if it would snow.
I dunno know.
Dalem, you idjit, and Boo, tell me. Who should I speak with? Is there anyone still here to address?
I grow old, I grow old...