ng cavscout

Well, I was told that an AAR was expected, so here is my, probably feeble, attempt. So, Joe Shaw, in between foreclosing on orphanages, sends me this scenario, it is called "IL be seeing you." Not realizing that Shaw must of been an investigator for the Inquisition in a previous life, I agree to a game with the mysterious man (?) from the wasteland known as Utah. Aware that as an "SSN", I would probably be in store for some rather rough, but fair, treatment, I deploy my KT's and ST's in an arc, with overwatch, and the AA tracks set up out of direct fire LOS to probable Soviet positions. My masterstroke, I think, is setting the cargo trucks up far behind, and off the road, planning on having them sprint cross-country, hell for leather for the exits, while my combat units distract, and hopefully destroy the ambushes the Soviets must have set up covering the high-speed avenue of approach around the road. My AA tracks I figure will be adequate to keep the Soviet vultures off of my back for the 10 turns necessary to complete this "game" (I now use that term very loosely, a more accurate term might be attempted gang rape of a helpless cheerleader. but I don't think they allow cheerleaders in Utah, they might distract the tabernacle choir.) I was immediately cured of any illusions that the mechanism beating in Joe's wasted chest bore any resemblance to an actual human heart when the first turn began. First, an artillery barrage like Thor's hammers pound my hapless forces, all the precious cargo trucks are destroyed in the first seconds, their finely machined French engines turned into scrap metal by the treacherous Red arty. I lose a KT, and at least one AA track, the details get fuzzy, but I will post the final data when the mugging, I mean battle, is complete. But, what is that? Most of my forces survive, they start moving towards the exit, the Sturmo-dicks can't seem to wipe out my troops. There goes a KT, escaping to the "safety" of the map edge, there goes another, and a ST leaves, finally, all that remains is the brave command King Tiger, immobilized on the first turn by a near miss from a Soviet bomb. There, hiding in a building, a mere 75 meters from their burning wirblewind is a German crew, guaging their chances of success if they should make a run for the map edge. The cowardly Soviet pilots circle and dive, but the massive AFV shrugs off hit after hit. Will he survive? Will the plucky AA crew manage to make it back to their frauleins? Stay tuned for updates.

Er, Garrison Keillor and Mary Tyler Moore both made Minnesota famous, pillock. Wisconsin isn't really famous for anything, and rightly so. The best that can be said for it is that it ain't Iowa. </font>

Someone obviously needs to experience the true power of cheese. A car battery sized chunk is the Minimal size permissible as a sideboard snack for a truly cultured gathering. But I wouldn't expect an Ohianne to know how to spell cultured, much less possess a modicum of culture itself. I tell you, nothing a girl likes more than a guy thoughtful enough to place a 12 lb block of Muenster or Colby-Jack on the table for her grazing, I mean snacking, convenience. I must add that the aroma of a good fermented and aged dairy product is an aphrodisiac that can overwhelm the most resistant wench. I found during my desperate single days, the more pungent brands are fairly good at covering the stench of hay and shellfish that seems to permeate the atmosphere when Aussie maidens approach. Still no luck in covering the odor of Kiwi lasses, hmmm, maybe some Limburger applied to the underarms would be a start..... NG, for you draft dodgers out there, or those not blessed enough to come from the good ol' USA, (I guess that I have no choice to let those from Minestrone and Ohio to have their citizenship, but definitely in a junior status, at least till they prove that they do, indeed, possess the requisite number of chromosomes), refers to that true sword and shield of democracy, the National Guard. I even have pictures from our last field exercise, (and chock full of SEAL and SF like excellence that was, at least when we were sober and awake...), which I may deign to post, if asked nicely that is. Now I know you are all cowering in fear and awe, but be reassured, the powers I possess may be mighty, but I am only allowed to use them for good.

Sirreal: Hey, I am not rusty at all, I am rather well lubed, thank you very much. wazpillow ? That doesn't even make sense, it is something I would expect from an Ohioanne, not a Sweat. I am glad that you gave up your neutrality, world famous porn, and Sauna long enough to drip on the keyboard. I have heard so much about you, it is good to finally smell... er, I mean see you.

ok, sorry. send me your email plz

Chuck, Email me with your new email addy, I got to tell you something. Good to see you on the forum bro, L. and I go to the doc tomorrow, got to check on the twins.

Chuck!!!! What's up?

Plus you are from Minestrone, or whatever you call it, the state that had the wrestler as governor, Death would have a certain appeal to you I guess. Well, as long as it keeps you off of our lovely Wisconsin roads. You would think that "the state of 6 lakes" would have enough vacation spots for its own denizens without having them spill over the border into "God's Country" and swarm over the land like cockroaches scuttling across Nidan1's kitchen when the parole officer turns on the light.

Bah! I wave my hand at you. You carry on, lad. You may be happy to grin and pull the forelock, and make a slight slurping noise as you retract the excess drool from the corners of your mouth as you gear up to describe how happy you are that nature saw fit to let you muddy the gene pool on your passage through a life that would intellectually shame a ground squirrel, but I shall take pride in the fact that, half-witted dwarf bastard that I may or may not be, I'm a self-made man! No one would own up to my existence. I am what I am. You are what I see. Now bugger off, and annoy the little people. </font>

Seanachai: You are sure that making fun of spelling is out of bounds?

Don't take it personally, I am sure it isn't your fault that you are a half-witted dwarf bastard. We can't help what we are, we just have to carry on as best we can. I mean, you are really doing great, working with all those handicaps, and doubly cursed with the Freaking Vikings and that pot head Randy Moss. And never forget that we are all very proud of you, and rooting for you every day, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Well, this is nice. I am always amazed at the camaraderie and general niceness of the CM community. Here I am, an SSN, scum sucking newbie, (I didn't even know what SSN meant before tonight, I thought there was some modern naval mod that I hadn't found yet) and a true knight of the community, Joe Shaw, takes me under his wing. Right now, Joe is showing me how to do PBEM, my second foray into it. He is playing the "il be seeing you". I just set up, and I have just tons of great late war German armor. I am sure that I will learn gobs and gobs from this. Thanks again guys, I am really amazed at the squishy marshmallow center I found underneath your hard, scaly, downright mean exteriors. It almost makes me misty when I find such a nice bunch of guys. [ July 13, 2003, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ]

We have to make allowances. He is after all from Ohio Ohioannes are known for their corn, not their intellectual capacities. And the Buckeyes, or Hawkeyes, or Browneyes, or somesuch...

hmmm, sprinklers. Ok, Nidan1, if you can spare some time from obsessively fondling your malfunctioning lawn care equipment, maybe you can show me some of the tactical ability you show in your shopping habits? And after the game, if you want, I can explain how to use the fact that they have a LIFETIME GAURANTEE to your advantage, by, like, exchanging them....

Damn your impudenence sir, when you need to know you'll be told until then you DON'T need to know! (snipped for effect) I TOO have a sentamental streak in my nature and will, at times, dash a goblet of wine in a fellow's face as he's being stretched on the rack ... I know, I know, I shouldn't be so easy on them but dash it all they are just so cute lying there screaming like that. (snipped again) OH say lads, what name shall we propose for this SSN? Obviously if he's ever proposed for Serf we'll have to spell it correctly but in the meantime ... hmmmm ... Joe </font>

I think you are too generous. You presuppose, first, the possession of opposable thumbs (needed to manipulate the "magic sticks", also known to non-Aussies as "indelible markers")by the sub-race known as "Aussies". Second, the ability of the forebrain lackers to decipher the technological marvel known as "The Alphabet".

So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH????? </font>

So would V42 Below count as an honorary Aussie? Isn't New Zealand kind of like the stunted little Danny DeVito twin to the Arnold Schwarznegger Australia? Of course that in no way lessens the Genetic Vacuum that is Australia. Wasn't it colonized by people not even good enough to be ENGLISH?????

(/serious) Not meaning to post here if unwanted, but do you have to be invited in? Or do you just think you are witty enough and jump on in? (/serious)

Seanachai: I just wanted to tell you that that was a very impressive verbal trouncing of urefinger.

Welcome, the game is great, as is the forum, but stay away from the Peng threads. Dark and Evil things go on in there....

Welcome to the deep end of the gene pool.

You said you lived on Eglin AFB, I assume that one or both of your parents are in the military, if so, try to get them to buy the game, tell them that they might like it as well.

I occaisonally check into the ADG site to see if World in Flames is nearing release, and the message saying they are near completion hasn't been updated since August of 2001 (I think). I am about to give up on it. Too bad, since it was a great game, just too big, complex and expensive to play/keep up with. They did just release an updated version of Advanced Third Reich combined with Rising Sun, it is by GMT games, but it is a boardgame, not computer. I think it is called world in arms or somesuch.

BTW, I may of been mistaken, or misinformed, but I was not lying.