Lets Prachett

[dieseltaylor]

People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett)

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat :-) -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says 'This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they're an adult simple because they've grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide *everything* for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up !' -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Botswana is also the only country in the world with a colour in its flag meant to represent rain (a sort of blue-grey). Not many people know this. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) 1)

"These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made of stone, but the thought was there." -- Life among the primitive Discworld tribes (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

While working his way along a wall he came to a huge door, which artistically portrayed a group of prisoners apparently being given a complete medical check-up [footnote: From a distance it did, anyway. Close to, no]. -- Rincewind visits the Tezumen tribe (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

- "There's a door" - "Where does it go?" - "It stays where it is, I think." -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight. -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

"You mean mysterious ancient races of Amazonian princesses who subject all male prisoners to strange and exhausting progenitative rites?" said Eric, his glasses beginning to fog. -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking. -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

The sergeant put on the poker face which has been handed down from NCO to NCO ever since one protoamphibian told another, lower ranking protoamphibian to muster a squad of newts and Take That Beach. -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh." -- Magic armour is not all it's cracked up to be. (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times)

[...] Vimes's grin was as funny as the one that moves very fast towards drowning men. And has a fin on top. -- (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

She sighed again. She was familiar with the syndrome. They *said* they wanted a soulmate and helpmeet but sooner or later the list would include a skin like silk and a chest fit for a herd of cows. -- (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." -- (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

[Elmar Bijlsma]

How is Pterry these days, do you happen to know?

The man has so many great quotes to his name, but I've always liked this one:

It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.