26 May

[JonS]

1. In the beginning there was chaos and the chaos was the infantry, for the infantry was alone.

2. And fear was with the infantry and they cried unto the Lord saying, "Lord, save us for we are afraid."

3. And the Lord heard their grunts and set some of the infantry on beasts of burden and these he called cavalry, and the cavalry became armour.

4. And when the lord had seen what he had done, he laughed saying, "Well, you can't win them all."

5. The infantry and the armour again cried out to the Lord saying, "Lord, save us for we are afraid." And the Lord heard their cries and decided to end their weepings.

6. And the Lord said unto them, "Lo, I send you a race of men noble in heart and spirit," and the Lord created the Gunners.

7. And the Lord said unto the infantry and armor, "When it gets dark, the Gunners shall light your way."

8. "And when you need smoke, there shall be smoke, and when you need HE, WP, IN, and CB, all this ye shall have."

9. And the Lord gave the Gunners big guns, and field guns, and the infantry and armor were jealous for they had naught.

10. And the infantry cried out saying,"Lord, thou hast created the infantry as Queen of Battles, and now thou has made the Gunners King of Battles and well knowest thou what the King does to the Queen."

11. And the Lord replied, "Right On!"

12. And the Lord gave unto the Artillery rockets and missiles and, best of all, nukes. And when the infantry and armour saw this they fell to their knees in wonder saying, "Surely God is on the side of the greatest -The Gunners."

13. And the Lord sayeth, "You got that right."

14. Now abideth infantry, armour, and Artillery, but the greatest of these is Artillery.

[Affentitten]

There is a word you often see, pronounce it as you may

“You bike,” “you bykwee,” “ubbikwe “, alludin' to R.A.

It serves 'Orse, Field, an' Garrison as motto for a crest,

An' when you've found out all it means I'll tell you 'alf the rest.

Ubique means the long-range Krupp be'ind the low-range 'ill,

Ubique means you'll pick it up an', while you do, stand still.

Ubique means you've caught the flash an' timed it by the sound.

Ubique means five gunners' 'ash before you've loosed a round.

Ubique means Blue Fuse an' make the 'ole to sink the trail.

Ubique means stand up an' take the Mauser's 'alf-mile 'ail.

Ubique means the crazy team not God nor man can 'old.

Ubique means that 'orse's scream which turns your innards cold!

Ubique means “Bank, 'Olborn, Bank, a penny all the way,

The soothin', jingle-bump-an'-clank from day to peaceful day.

Ubique means “They've caught De Wet, an' now we sha'n t be long.”

Ubique means “I much regret, the beggar's goin' strong!”

Ubique means the tearin' drift where, breech-blocks jammed with mud,

The khaki muzzles duck an' lift across the khaki flood.

Ubique means the dancing plain that changes rocks to Boers.

Ubique means the mirage again an' shellin' all outdoors.

Ubique means “Entrain at once for Grootdefeatfontein”!

Ubique means “Off-load your guns”, at midnight in the rain!

Ubique means “More mounted men. Return all guns to store.”

Ubique means the R. A. M. R. Infantillery Corps!

Ubique means that warnin' grunt the perished linesman knows,

When o'er 'is strung an' sufferin' front the shrapnel sprays 'is foes;

An' as their firin' dies away the 'usky whisper runs

From lips that 'ave n't drunk all day: “The Guns! Thank Gawd, the Guns!”

Extreme, depressed, point-blank or short, end-first or any'ow,

From Colesberg Kop to Quagga's Poort, from Ninety-Nine till now,

By what I've 'eard the others tell an' I in spots 'ave seen,

There's nothin' this side 'Eaven or 'Ell Ubique does n't mean!