Speedbump Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 I included the following note on another thread, but am seeking more information on this unit.I seem to remember that some time in the past I saw an interesting documentary. It was produced by a gentleman named Monty Python (a Brit, I think). It seems that the British Army had a unit that would run through the battlefield chanting a phrase in German. The Germans as a result were incapacitated (in some cases killed) from laughter. Does CM model this unit? Please do somefink! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Oz Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Speedbump: I included the following note on another thread, but am seeking more information on this unit.I seem to remember that some time in the past I saw an interesting documentary. It was produced by a gentleman named Monty Python (a Brit, I think). It seems that the British Army had a unit that would run through the battlefield chanting a phrase in German. The Germans as a result were incapacitated (in some cases killed) from laughter. Does CM model this unit? Please do somefink! Speedbump Voice Over: It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. Under top security, the joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War. (Cut to door at Ham House: Soldier on guard comes to attention as dispatch rider hurries in carrying armoured box. (Notice on door: 'Conference. No Admittance'.) Dispatch nider rushes in. A door opens for him and closes behind him. We hear a mighty roar of laughter... . series of doomphs as the commanders hit the floor or table. Soldier outside does not move a muscle.) (Cut to a pillbox on the Salisbury Plain. Track in to slit to see moustachioed top brass peering anxiously out.) Voice Over: Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards. (Cut to shot looking out of slit in pillbox. Camera zooms through slit to distance where a solitary figure is standing on the windswept plain. He is a bespectacled, weedy lance-corporal (Terry Jones) looking cold and miserable. Pan across to fifty yards away where two helmeted soldiers are at their positions beside a blackboard on an easel covered with a cloth. Cut in to corporal's face- registening complete lack of comprehension as well as stupidily. Man on top of pillbox waves flag. The soldiers reveal the joke to the corporal. He peers at it, thinks about its meaning, sniggers, and dies. Two watching generals are very impressed.) Generals: Fantastic. Cut to a Colonel talking to camera. Colonel: All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital. But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could. (Cut to a trench in the Ardennes. Members of the joke brigade are crouched holding pieces of paper with the joke on them.) Voice Over: So, on July 8th, I944, the joke was first told to the enemy in the Ardennes... Commanding NCO: Tell the ... joke. Joke Brigade: (together) Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! (Pan out of the British trench across war-torn landscape and come to rest where presumably the German trench is. There is a pause and then a group of Germans rear up in hysterics.) Voice Over: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke ...Cut to a film of Chamberlain brandishing the 'Peace in our time' bit of paper ... and one which Hider just couldn't match. Film of Hitler rally. Hitler speaks; subtitles are superimposed. SUBTITLE: 'MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE' A young soldier responds: SUBTITLE: HOW DOES HE SMELL? Hitler speaks: SUBTITLE: AWFUL' Voice Over: In action it was deadly. (Cut to a small squad with rifles making their way through forest. Suddenly one of them sees something and gives signal at which they all dive for cover. From the cover of a tree he reads out joke.) Corporal: Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! (Sniper falls laughing out of tree.) Joke Brigade: (charging) Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. (They chant the joke. Germans are put to fight laughing, some dropping to ground.) Voice Over: The German casualties were appalling. (Cut to a German hospital and a ward full of casualties still laughing hysterically. Cut to Nazi interrogation room. An officer from the joke bngade has a light shining in his face. A Gestapo officer is interrogating him; another stands behind him.) Nazi: Vott is the big joke? Officer: I can only give you name, rank, and why did the chicken cross the road? Nazi: That's not funny! (slaps him) I vant to know the joke. Officer: All right. How do you make a Nazi cross? Nazi: (momentarily fooled) I don't know ... how do you make a Nazi cross? Officer: Tread on his corns. (does so; the Nazi hops in pain) Nazi: Gott in Hiramell That's not funny! (mimes cuffing him while the other Nazi claps his hands to provide the sound effct) Now if you don't tell me the joke, I shall hit you properly. Officer: I can stand physical pain, you know. Nazi: Ah ... you're no fun. All right, Otto. (Otto starts tickling the officer who starts laughing,) Officer: Oh no - anything but that please no, all fight I'll tell you. (They stop tickling him) Nazi: Quick Otto. The typewriter. (Otto goes to the typewriter and they wait expeaantly. The officer produces piece of paper out of his breast pocket and reads.) Officer: Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. (Otto at the typewriter explodes with laughter and dies.) Nazi: Ach! Zat iss not funny! (Nazi burts into laughter and dies. A German guard bursts in with machine gun, The British officer leaps on the table.) Officer: (lightning speed) Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. (The guard reels back and collapses laughing. British officer makes his escape. Cut to a film of German scientists working in laboratories.) Voice Over: But at Peenemunde in the Autumn of '44, the Germans were working on a joke of their own. (A German general is seated at an imposing desk. Behind him stands Otto, labelled 'A Different Gestapo Officer'. Bespectacled German scientist/joke writer enters room. He clean his throat and reads from card.) German Joker: Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel uber und der bitte schon ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. 'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'. He finishes and looks hopeful. Otto: We let you know. (He shoots him. Film of German sdentists.) Voice Over: But by December their joke was ready, and Hitler gave the order for the German V-Joke to be broadcast in English. (Cut to 1940's wartime radio set with couple anxiously listening to it.) Radio: (crackly German voice) Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho. (Radio bunts into 'Deutschland Uber Alles'. The couple look at each other and then in blank amazement at the radio. Cut to modern BBC 2 interview. The commentator in a woodland glade.) Commentator (Eric Idle): In 1945 Peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in I950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again. (He walks away revealing a monument on which is written: 'To the unknown Joke'. Camera pulls away slowly through idyllic setting. Patriotic music reaches crescendo.) ------------------ Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggy", until you can get a good sight picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfcub Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 errr i monty python isnt real hes played by a bloke called john cleese ,and no us brits nevrer had a unti like that ,john cleese done comedy programs so u proberly got the wrong end of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ciks Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 That was the Ultimate Joke! The very first of Monthy Python series i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfcub Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 roflol u got there just before me mr oz ,very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted March 21, 2001 Author Share Posted March 21, 2001 That's it!! My only question is does this unit fit in the scope of CM? Please mod it!!! Speeds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnergoz Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 I must protest vigorously! This thread defames the memory of my dearly departed relative who succumbed in battle to this inhumane and depraved form of combat! My step-uncle-twice-removed fell bravely before the onslought of a so-called "Herman" Tank's loudspeakers. My poor uncle was shaking with laughter when his pants fell off and the tank overran him. It was owful. I will take my complaint to the United Nations High Commission as soon as they Come Down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted March 21, 2001 Author Share Posted March 21, 2001 See, gunnergoz's post makes it clear that this was an effect weapon. Please mod!!! Speeds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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