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imported_Hiram Sedai

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Posts posted by imported_Hiram Sedai

    One Peng to rule them all, one Peng to challenge them ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Geier:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

    SwedishChef.jpg

    I'd like to thank the Nobel Academy and ... oh right, wrong speech.

    Ahem.

    Thank you. Words fail me. Next inhumation is free, my account. A small quid pro quo though, I've never actually, as it were, made any Crodaballs. Hakkoballs, Berliballs, Seanachaballs, Moriartyballs, Germanballs, Pengballs and menschballs yes. But never Crodaballs.

    Are they any good? St Bauhaus? Your cue I believe?</font>

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    One Peng to rule them all, one Peng to challenge them ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Okay, I’m back. Try not to stifle that yawn. I’ll try my best to send out the turns I owe tonight. I’ve been busy. I won’t bore you with the details, but I spent the last couple of days in a South Jersey hospital with my girlfriend. I have a new and profound respect for ICU nurses. They appear a bit burly and evil from the outside, but they are quite compassionate and competent. I’m grateful that they didn’t swat me like a buzzing gnat. My love is now out of ICU and is begging her doctor to send her home.

    So, a couple of points:

    Bauhaus, mention the Eagles on more time and I will rip out your colon and mail it to your next of kin. They can sign for the package as the fetid stench of your idiocy reminds them of their shameful excuse for a scion.

    Croda, congratulations on your team winning. I am oh so happy for you. Just understand that my abhorrence for all things Croda is still boundless and all encompassing. I hope you get impaled repeatedly with a nailgun.

    Elvis thanks for hosting one kick ass party. Jack is already more handsome and intelligent than Bauhaus

    MRPeng you should have been there. Shame on you.

    Berli and Patch the thing you sent was received. The recipient and her brother are grateful.

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    A few of you click that link for testing please?!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PawBroon:

    Here goes:

    http://perso.wanadoo.fr/pawbroon/TestCompteurs.htm

    It's some of those stupid counters I wish to test.

    So I have put those 2 on the same test page and if a few of you click on the link above, then I'll see how each of them deal with the results.

    Just click on the link and then you're done.

    Sorry for intruding...

    :D <hr></blockquote>

    I clicked and await my cookie. Come on Pushbroom!!

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Croda You are an infected labia abrasion. Your malodorous stench is like that of a healthy yeast infection on a hot August day at the clinic. Your fetid stench wafts throughout the pool and we can do nothing but retch. You are the unwanted afterbirth from the unfortunate coupling of jdmorse and a yak. That is why you have the bovine features, chew a cud, and have the propensity to mate with trees. Take a moment, use your cloven hoof to dial the local ASPCA, and beg them to put you down because you are freak of nature.

    Edited to note that Croda should be bludgeoned, spat upon, and told to move to New Jersey for being a Poopiehead.

    [ 01-29-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

    It is interesting to me that more thought, bile, and energy went into the recent series of Hiram/Croda exchanges about football, than either of them has been able to muster in their last six months of posting about anything else.

    While I'm glad to see that they despise each other, I'm dissapointed that the loathing never came to a real head until they (endlessly) managed to bring football into it.

    The zeal with which they have provoked and attacked each other has led me to the conclusion that Militant Islam has nothing on Militant Idiocy.<hr></blockquote>

    Sir, that loathing you are referring to shall never “come to a head”. Like iodine on a fresh wound, there is the intense pain and then the throbbing with echoes of the pain afterwards. True loathing needs to be nursed and ruminated upon over the span of years. My abhorrence for all things Croda has so many expressions that need to be voiced. I encourage you to think back on the time when I was a mere spectator to the goings on of the Mutha Beautiful Thread. I had to learn how to hate. Only perpetual abuse of my digital soldiers and armor thingies brought about the rabid beast you see before you. Hundreds of PBEM’s and TCPIP sessions gone awry have battered my sensibilities and decorum. Gone is the polite and subservient Hiram that sat at your feet and begged for scraps of CM wisdom. I prematurely ended so many PBEM’s and changed my username in the false hope that I would be able to recreate myself. All for naught! So perhaps a sing song would help you understand a little better:

    Here I am

    the one that you shove

    asking for another day

    Understand

    The one that you shove

    Hate you in so many ways

    There have been many other excrement slinging sessions between Croda and myself, but you were napping peacefully. I’ll be sure to not allude to any of your less than masculine tendencies because you did chide me for being a tad homophobic. I promise to not mention your choice of bathing gear and the fuzzy slippers you wander around your neighborhood in.

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    The authorities finally surround the slavering maniac on the highway. All they hear him say over and over is “Hee Rum, Hee Rum” His photo matches that of the one posted at the local boyscout meeting place. It was labeled as “Idiotic and Dangerous” It seems that Croda had been caught many times trying to tempt the local scouts with comic books and quarters for the arcade. He would then take them home to his abode and force them to play Crodaburg until they would go comatose. In Croda’s addled brain there played the words “I like the nightlife, I like to boogie” but all he could say was “Hee Rum”. His vacant stare unsettled the local constabulary and his fetid stench turned their stomachs. Mechanicsburg would never be the same.

    The local mayor outlawed the naming of any child, pet, or appliance with the unimaginative name of Croda and had the local prison clean up all of the Croda droppings from the highway. “Never again, will we be plagued with this sort of riff raff”, the local police chief was quoted as saying.

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    The sounds of vehicle horns and epithets reverberate in Croda’s head as he struggles to find his exit on foot. He lost one of his Pokemon sneakers a while ago. He had wrestled them away from a little girl and barely won because she was a tough fight as they all are when you are a wussy boy. His backpack was still firmly tied to him though. It is packed with his comic book collection and assorted lubricants for the trip to the local High School. The boy’s JV wrestling club was meeting today even though they had been warned about the dangers of a rabid Croda. The coach had said “If you feed a Croda, it will try to hump you. If you look at a Croda, it will try to hump you. Never let a Croda become an “inner Croda”.

    All of this is meaningless to the simple minded burgler of butts as he gets smashed around on the turnpike.

    Edited because it's what I do.

    [ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    A daydream that gets me through the day:

    Croda on the turnpike. Sweating and scared spitless. A semi barrels down the highway and clips him. He is weeping openly now. Thousands of Pennsylvanian’s zoom past him and give him the finger. He scampers to his left and almost gets hit by a U.S. Postal jeep. Croda still reeks from soiling himself an hour ago. One single lucky minivan hits him squarely and sends him into the air and we hear a piercing howl come from his syphilitic frame. One by one, vehicles continue hitting him, keeping him in the air. He is bounced around like a volleyball. Each hit shatters another one of his body parts.

    I feel better now.

    Edited because it's the right thing to do.

    [ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

    Hiram

    Blah Blah Blah

    bludgeon me and my family will pay you

    Croda

    [ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Croda ]<hr></blockquote>

    Croda, you squirming, feces encrusted, mindless, sycophantic, unusually plump, slimy maggot. Your fingers aren’t worthy of typing anything about the noble team of my heart.

    Even more of your lack of character shows through with your choice of football teams. I watched that game and saw the huge amount of bad calls. For your sake, I do hope the referees will be just as blind and inept in the Superbowl as they were in the AFC game. My struggle will be to try to care about who actually wins that game. I just feel bad for Lorak because his team played honorably but fell to the evil machinations of autistic referees who didn’t have a clue what a catch was.

    Enough about football. Let’s talk about your obsession with collecting pieces of pets. When you were a little snot nosed Croda clutching your picture of Liberace, did you want to dismember pets? I’m not qualified to give you therapy, but would recommend that you stay far away from my little four legged friends. If I go home and find any portion of them missing, you will see my hirsute visage parked outside of your double wide. Do your town a favor, take your parent’s suggestion, and go play on the Pennsylvania Turnpike for a while.

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    Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    It’s the morning after. Many of you know what weighs heavily upon my mind this Monday. When a huge amount of passion is expended upon a certain subject and then the results are not what one wants, there is an empty feeling afterwards.

    I am proud of my Philadelphia Eagles.

    I will now invoke my right as Hiram to be unhappy for a while on behalf of my team. Keep your platitudes to yourselves. I know that you hated the Eagles because they are my team. This morning finds my brain tired and confused. I was writing out a check to Cesspool Mortgage for stamps today. It’s only funny because I work at Cendant.

    Now, for some good news. Both of my cats are saying Croda’s name into every other pair of shoes belonging to my girlfriend. She has found beefy chunks of cat vomitus in approx 9 pairs of shoes thus far. I swear I didn’t teach them that. Cats are the ones to balance out excess. They remind you of when you have too much of something. At the moment, it is melancholy and malaise for me. Want some?

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

    Bugger all, and I hate them the way your average, useless Methodist hates fun, but I'll have a go:

    Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi!

    Actually, that didn't feel so bad. In fact, I felt a strange tingle at the base of my proto-brain. You know, the one that we used when we still had tails, and couldn't remember if we bore live young...

    <hr></blockquote>

    Sir? Could you please stop trying to emulate every other country and sit a while in ours? Over here, Sir. We in the U.S. of A. are glad to have you among us although you speak like a fancy lad and look like Captain Kangaroo. Teach us some Minn eh Snowta phrases.

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    The CM republic

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:

    Soldier,

    In correct Sea-Na-CHI, I simply can't abide you, and your cult within a cult of worthless helloens....<hr></blockquote>

    Slacker,

    That's not how to pronounce the Bard's name. If we are to rally around you and form a cult, we need more from you.

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Hiram’s Long Anticipated Game Updates

    Here is a bone for you festering knob tugging, teen ogling, Peng sickophants. I’m only playing two games against Cesspool inhabitants but they are quality games I tell ya!! Warm up your printer and get set to displace the pictures that your offspring created on your respective fridges. Here is why we play the game, boys and girls.

    Elvis His existence is a taunt to me. Every single time I read the word “dear” in a post, it heckles me. I do hope he has some spare plants around for me to pee in when I visit the King of South Philly abode during the Superbowl party. It would seem that I am automatically invited once more because he mistakenly let me into his place last year. Will he ever learn?

    Speaking of learning (I am Mister Segway!! Tremble before my incontinent verbosity) We are playing a cute little battle thingy via PBEM and I am purposely NOT doing all the things I used to do. It’s a struggle to not telegraph my moves and send my dudes piecemeal. He is Polish and defending while I am, uh….not Polish and attacking…sort of. I’m struggling not to do my patented Hiram Lemming Attack Pattern where I pick a point on the map and send one unit at a time until I have nothing left and then he threatens to take my girlfriend and my stereo. You’ll get my stereo over my cold, rotting, oddly hirsute corpse, Nissan Boy!! Anyway…he is probably winning because he is Elvis and I am not.

    Croda We are playing yet another one of his creations. This is not the traffic accident that Crodaburg is and for that I am grateful. He is German and defending while I am not German and not…uh defending. I know that deep within the bowls of his defense he is hiding some of those UberVolksSpankenLickenGrubers. They are 8 feet tall and can kill a Sherman by sneezing at it. Each of his platoons has 21 ubervolk per squad and his machine guns have approx 500 rounds. I could have sworn that one of his German dudes answered to the name of Andreas and that is what truly frightened me because there is no one more Uber than omniscient Andreas. Croda has already killed one of my Shermans because of a head cold that one of his ubermenschen has. Gesunheidt, ya bastige!!

    Edited because of fallacies derived from inherent fallibilities found in a primative clime.

    [ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by bauhaus:

    See what you fail to understand Hiram is that this was not a challenge. It was a simple statement as to what was going to happen to Joe. So you could call it a promise or threat. So that being said, there was no need to taunt, it was not a challenge. Idgit!

    So Hiram, until you quit blowing smoke up my ass, I fail to believe that you've truly quit smoking. Now, leave me alone.<hr></blockquote>

    Dude, don't cry. I'll leave you alone now. Yeesh.

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Bah! You are all, ALL of you Philistines. Where is the spirit of the CessPool in which the game means nothing but the challenge means all? If the taunting is to be supreme then surely the challenge that LEADS to the taunting must be of like value. I have said that I will play a match with Wildman WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY A PROPER CHALLENGE. And you, Hiram, are by your own words incapable of determining a proper challenge.

    Let others accept the substandard and ill formed challenges if they wish, I have higher aims.

    Joe<hr></blockquote>

    It would appear that I was wrong. Enjoy this moment Joe Shaw. The challenge was issued without a taunting and therefore cannot be construed as a true challenge. I have been the victim of such a challenge by Bauhaus. I still await the required taunting from this dimwitted personage.

    Joe, I apolo...AAAARGH

    I'm sorr....ARRRGH

    What I mean to say is...I am.. Oh, God our help in ages past, our hope for years to come. Our fortress midst the stormy blast and our eternal home

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Hiram I'd have expected more of you as a long time CessPooler. Without our HONOR, lad, we are ... well Bauhaus not to put too fine a point on it.

    I am determined, determined I say, to improve the squalid nature of the challenges in the CessPool. Furthermore, I reaffirm the right of ANY Knight of the CessPool to refuse a challenge at any time for any reason. I shall accept a PROPER challenge, in the proper forms, from Wildman. So far I've seen little to differentiate his challenge from the spittle flecked and shield gnashing bellows of rage that pass for challenges from OGSF AND I WON'T HAVE IT!

    Joe<hr></blockquote>

    Yes, it's true that I do know something of the goings on of the Cesspool at large. I also know that you squirm and whine all too often when a proper challenge has been given. Normally, I wouldn't even glance your way because your cowardice and pomposity doesn't sit well with me. I see that Wildman has indeed issued a proper challenge to you and I do hope you will do the "right thing". We have faith in you, Joe. It's okay to admit that you are scared. Let me know if you need some pointers in game play. (oh, that is a funny one)

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    One Flew Over the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    So what this Peng of which you all speak? Reading the posts, it would seem that you all loath and despise each other with the white hot passion of a thousand suns, yet I believe in my heart that actually your love for your fellow "Pengers?" out-Saroyans Saroyan.

    But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. ;) <hr></blockquote>

    You are wrong and also not welcome. Go away now and save yourself the trouble of listening to our spineless justicar. Try another smiley face and I will eviscerate you, string your intestines all over your front lawn and play hopscotch.

    Edited due to Croda (anal leakage)

    [ 01-22-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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