Hamsters
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Posts posted by Hamsters
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Grrrr? To what do I owe this? I do not seem to have a game going with you at present... or is this in reference to all the times I've kicked your yarbals up between your ears?
Grrrrr! is a challenge, Christ in a Corvair, don't you get it?
[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-14-2001).]
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Originally posted by mensch:
Excuses excuses excuses
How were we to know this was the case, you festering gob of greasy grimey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat? You disappeared and never came back right when we were in the middle of kicking your fanny.
Updates:
MarkIV: Bwahahahahahaha!
jd: Muhahahahahah!
Seanachai: Ahahahahaha!
Armornut: Tee hee hee!
Croda: Gaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Goanna: Hmmmmmmmm.
Geier: ?!?
Priest: Wah ha, wah ha!
Jefe: Hmmmmmm.
Stuka: Eh?
Peng: Grrrrr!
Berli: Grrrrr!
Elvis: Grrrrr!
Lawyer: Grrrr-hehehhe-rrrr-haheehehe!
Did we leave anyone out?
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
There is no arguement... dumbass. The issue has been decided. We are now discussing whether venison/Croda are gamey
Oh, I missed that part but, since you wrote it and, having never won an argument before you have perfect credibility, than we will move on to the gaminess of venison, which is not, it has a realistic flavor and of Croda which, having no real-life counterpart, is so obviously gamey it hurts.
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Bassfishing is definitely attritionist, and therefore has no place in a thread about maneuverist hunting
Now that's just insulting and I demand you return to civil conversation or I will make sure you get banned, muttonsucker. This debate is whether or not hunting is attritionist or mooaoaonouovuvooouevuoveouveouoeuovuoauooavrist, if we had decided it was manurist all ready, there would be no argument, moron.
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Originally posted by mensch:
meeks you coward!!!!! where you call all your victories and draws you FORGOT I WON A GAME!!!! TOTAL ALLIED VICTORY YOU GIT!!!!!! jeezus.. ya gamey bastard get it right!!
That was later! And Lorak, scribe a victory for me for the game Mensch bugged out on. We were kicking his bloody ass and he disappeared.
Mensch: Cowardly cheating loss
Meeks: Glorious Victory
[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-14-2001).]
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Originally posted by Lawyer:
This silly thread has just given me A GREAT IDEA!!
Let's make up a computer game and call it "DEERHUNTER". The whole thing will simulate sitting in your computer chair instead of a blind, drinking yourself to numbing stupidity, and taking potshots at any pixel deer that appear. Sound exciting??
Then we could sell it to Wal-Mart and BestBuy. I'll bet they would line the shelves with it. We'll make the box orange, just like real hunter colors. Cool.
We could even have sequels of the same thing, like DEERHUNTER II, REVENGE OF THE DEER, BAMBI GETS EVEN, etc. Man, we could make a fortune.
Waddya think? Naahhh, nobody would buy something that boring. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
You amatateur. Those are clickfests, totally unrealistic. We're talking about SIMULATIONS here. Idiot.
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Please do not force me to warn you again about your use of slanderous libel and libelous slander when refering to me, you guppied chumchuck. I see no need to bandy insults with such a naive person. I will stick to arguing the facts of the argument, rather than pointing out how incredibly dumb you are, and say just that drinking, like hunting, can only be properly appreciated by those who have never done it. By drinking, you drunken drunk, you ruin any chance of every truly appreciating how much fun it is to be drunk, much less drunk and hunting. Why I just finished three books on how enjoyable drunken hunting is and I KNOW that I would never have had the time to read them if I had been out drinking or hunting. It's obvious to everyone but you, you peabrained jarhead, that you've ruined what little credibility you once had here. It's well known, according to Shzeinhuttzle in 'Attriting the High Country Lager', that a good beer requires you to attrit it with knife and fork and that you were obviously manooauauoeeovroeoeaing your fat lips around a can of Bud Light or some nonalcoholic beverage, just as you were more than likely maonouveeovuvoooeoevoveovoering your drunken ass about a forrest with no real hunting involved. An attritionist would have killed every deer in Montana by the time you'd woken from your drunken mooaoaouaoauaoanouvering.
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Originally posted by jd:
I'm a little tea prat, short and fat! Here is my pratness, here is my suck.
I will not follow you into the muddy realms of mudslinging, you hotly contested holy site. Rather, I will only point out that the Jackelope was designed as an AA platform and, therefor, the fact that BTS chose to model the Pregnant Yak instead, even though only 3 Pregnant Yaks were produced and over 1700 Jackelopes were produced, makes perfect sense as the Luftewaffe was in such shambles. The combat efficiency and legitimate hunting use of the Jackelope is questionable as only hunters know of it and, as I have conclusively and unquestionably proven you useless git, hunters know absolutely nothing about hunting. I will now make some theoretical models and when the pamphlet relating to such things is together I'm sure you'll see your favorite little hoofed rodent sucking wind as much as you do, my esteemed, yet bloated, fellow.
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Jd, you boobless teeny-bopper, always with the mention of the Ostfront. You know, there were drastically different deer deployments on the Ostfront. Next thing you know, you'll be talking about the rheindeer and Stalin's three-assed uberdeer, both of which were never produced beyond a cheez-whiz mockup.
On another note, I'm happy to see everyone but that imbecile's mother Berli has managed to come to the same conclusion I reached well over thirty years ago, that hunters did practice attrition warfare on the mooauaoanaooouauioeoaeaouvre oriented deer.
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Originally posted by Stuka:
You can just mind your manners too, young man. Or else I may take it upon myself to give you a right royal spanking on the field of battle and then throw your tender tushy to Bauhaus...and nobody wants that.
Except maybe Mace.
Bring it on, happy fun boy.
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Somewhere on the Western Front, a small but scrappy band of infantry, holed up in the Most Holy Church of God, discuss their choices.
Young Obersturmführer with a five o'clock shadow: Vell boys, ve cannot stand against zem, zere are too many unt zeir commander ist Elvis.
Buffed and grizzled Unterscharführer: Ze Elvis?! Ze King of Rock!
Obersturmführer: No, not zat Elvis, ze Cesspool one.
Obergrenadier #1: Still, ist bad enough, zer is no hope, ve are outnumbered 2 to 1.
Obergrenadier #2: Our guns are destroyed!
Obergrenadier #3: Our bunkers are breached!
Obergrenadier #2: They'll steal our souls!!!
Obersturmführer: Zen it ist settled, ve vill retreat. Ze Hauptman ist dead, I vill signal a general-
Suddenly the doors slam open!
Bruce Campbell: So that's it, eh, you're gonna run. Well run away! But I'm gonna stay and fight these limey bastards!
Obersturmführer: Are all men from the future loudmouthed braggarts like yourself?
Bruce Campbell: Just me, baby, just me.
Obergrenadier #2: But ve are just 50 men, low on ammo and surrounded!
Bruce Campbell: That's ok, I brought help.
Conan the Barbarian: Ja, like me.
Obersturmführer: Conan!
What follows is, quite possibly, the finest show of infantry actions since a small battle involving John Wayne, Sam Peckinpah, Gen. Geo. S. Patton and others. What can be made out are cries of, "Oh my, I seem to be shot." and "Now we'll surely miss tea time, lads."
Conan (Sinking his greatsword in the last British soldier, long dead but for good measure): Ja, now ve must get drunk!
Bruce Campbell: Hey Lorak, do us a favor and scribe this major topplement. Hail to the king, baby, hail to the king.
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Originally posted by Stuka:
What if you happen to be fang'in along a freeway in your natty pickup, and by pure chance your eye catches a mortally wounded deer laying by the road, immobilised by Hamsters.
And you then roger the lucky animal to death with your huge 'thingey'?
Is that attritionthingey or maneuverthingey?
Obviously you would be attritting the dead beast with your thingie, as this mathematical model shows:
Stuka(Thingie)^.6* x Dead(Hamsters{Noshing}Deer) / You Sick Bastard2
And of course, vis a vis, the deer would be practicing Maoauaunoueoeaoaaoiuoaiiaovre doctrine.
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
So, you are an 'Armchair hunter' with no real experience in the actual art of hunting. No computer model can include all the variables involved in real hunting, therefore your arguements are based on false data to begin with. I suggest you try at least interviewing some veteran hunters rather than the theories put forth by authors who, in most cases, have no actual experience in hunting
It's a well documented fact, you dunderhead, that hunters commonly misremember their hunting experiences, doubling the range and size of the target while halving the ammunition expenditure. In fact, real life hunters are so unreliable as to render anyone who has hunted to be completely unqualified to take part in any discussion about hunting, you soiled diaper.
Only by removing the hunter, gun and deer from the situation and reducing it to a simple series of mathematical equations with a collapsing theoretical to represent the success of hunting can we truly analyze hunting and it's proper, tactical usage in real life, you dip.
According to these infallible equations and books written by others using similar infallible equations, we can see that hunters utilize attrition warfare and that deer are realistic, not gamey, you cheap whore.
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Originally posted by Priest:
...your estimation of forces relaxing with me is woefully inadequate. Remember just because you did not see it does not mean it is not there. And not all of his squad mates died by the way. It is a big family and he has friends very very near...
Stop talking like that, you're wracking our little rodentia minds with pain. By the gods man, don't you understand how terribly stupid you sound?
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Your idiodic posts clearly indicate that the closest you've been to hunting is ordering a cheeseburger at McDonalds
I do not need to point out that disparaging remarks such as yours are what destroys good debate. I'm insulted and shocked. As to your little thought expiriment, no I haven't gone hunting but I've read many books written in very stodgy manner relating what happens around the activity of hunting. Some of these books have been called false but I've recreated a deer, three moose and a gazelle in model form as well as two hunters following standard TOE (K-Mart style camo, Beer, gun, 'nother gun, more beer, dog) and, in my calculations, my attrition argument works perfectly, you gooseheaded bastard.
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Are you people daft?!?! Both of you limey gits owe US a turn. Yeegods, look what we have to work with!
Lorak, scribe it thusly:
Mensch: Total Topplement
Meeks: VicTORY!!
Mensch: Draw, due to his fear of my AVRE.
Meeks: Draw, due to Mensch's treachery.
[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).]
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Originally posted by Mikey D:
I know what Moose tastes like, this makes me god in some countries. Countries like Canadia.
We're talking about tactics, you buffoon! not taste!
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Obviously everyone who disagrees with me is high after sniffing the communal glue which manoouuouvreistas sniff before posting. Deer follow maaaaaaaanouvreouvreouvreouvreist doctrine, that is obvious, as is the number of deer victories achieved. Hunters, however, by attritting the deer, follow attritionist doctrine. This is as plane as the wart on Berli's bulbuous nose. You cannot kill a deer, no matter how gamey, without attritting it. Perhaps I should type slower. You cannot kill a deer, no matter how gamey, without attritting it. There. Got it? Good.
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Originally posted by Croda:
Balderdash.
Hunters didn't have access to thermal detonator blocking mechanisms?!?! Are you insane or stupid or illiterate? Have you read F. Scott Michaelson's 'The Three Thermal Detonator Blocking Mechanisms of The Upper Utah River Valley Area c1943'?!?!? There were only 8 in existence but if the deer had adopted such a strategy, naturally production would have matched it. You imbecile, that dance of joy attrits the good sense of the hunter's comrades, just because he moves to do it doesn't make it mauoaonouuevueeoovoeueeoveeovreist.
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Send me the setup you gamey maneuovrista!
I still desire to take part in an operation, however. Perhaps some fine scenario designer could turn Crodaburg into and EPIC OPERATION!!!
Come on guys, for me?
[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).]
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Originally posted by Croda:
Poppycock.
Maneouvreistas like you always twist reality so that anything that moves follows maneuveoueivre warfare. This is patently untrue. The deer obviously follows moaunoueeavre doctrine which is why it fails in the face of the hunter's superior attrition doctrine.
Now if the deer had any smarts, it would dig trenchs, mass arms and trample the hunter, which would be a simple doctrinal change which would have brought about a sea change in hunter/deer dynamic. But no, the deer, being a pea-brained maauoeioauneeuoeaiuoiauvrista like yourself sticks to its flawed doctrine and dies, dies, dies, but produces fine, realistic meat after that.
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Bur dur dee dur!!!!!!
Let it be known that we are interested in starting a huge operation with one or another member of the Pool. Let it be known that said member will be beaten quite severely. Let it be known that the operation in question is not known and any suggestions will be valuable.
Bur dur dee dur!!!!!!!
[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).]
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Hunters are obviously attritionist, you boob, and any kind of argument otherwise will only prove how much of a boob you really are. Of course, modern attrition hunting is far different than attrition hunting used by the trapper ausf D but the similarities are so simple to see that even a boob such as you has to admit to them.
And Berli is a noted historical revisionist, why look at this post if you need any proof:
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Croda, you twit, of course Venison doesn't taste gamey. You think hunters throughout history would eat gamey food? No! It tastes realistic. Your tactics are hogwash, send me a setup!
Is Croda a Manhooverist or Atritionist?
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
I polled a cross section of pixelated warriors* and the result was:
I would die for Croda: 0.00%
I would give up my rations to save Croda's life: 0.00%
I would go to prison so that Croda would be free: 0.00%
Croda is better than a waterbug: 0.00%
*Poll was of 250,000 Heer, American RA, British RA, Polish RA, French UA, Zimbabwean UR, everyone that has ever posted to the Mutha Beautiful Thread** and three grogs who's responses not only included the standard yes/no but also strange algorythms showing that Croda could be used to pierce the side hull of a Daimler armored car.
**Including Croda