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Hamstersss

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Posts posted by Hamstersss

  1. I don't know, are the ladies allowed to visit Coventry? It's a city full of priggish outcasts, after all, maybe for their own good we should protect them.

    I fester daily at the thought of you lot fighting and killing each other while I, poor, simple king that I am (Of all the 'Pool, including the crystal {Not glass, Joe, you peasant} Cess Treatment Plant #1) still have yet to play CMBB against a real, live opponent. Well, thank God February ends in a 'y' and Yom Kippur ain't anytime soon.

  2. I just wanted to note that MrSpkr is an anti-French bigot.

    I wasn't aware of this until recently and wanted to make sure you, my loyal subjects (and Joe Shaw, Justicar and Traitor) were aware.

    All I can say is I'm shocked, shocked, to discover that MrSpkr has anything ill to say about that unwashed, cowardly, cretinous race of frogs, a people so morally degenerate that they produced Pawbroon.

  3. Originally posted by lenakonrad:

    at first I thought that his veterans against my conscripts did well.

    But they seem to have little sense or discipline.Besides,Hortlund grown very big and fat and sleek.Probably he cannot fend for himself,and must be fed like children,and I doubt whether he can endure hardship of command.

    Oh my God.

    I didn't even believe in gods (or generals) until I read this post and now...

    Oh my God.

    We need to put together some rites of succession, because when I go, this Polish person shall be king.

  4. Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    I don't hold with this royalty craze at all.

    Oh yeah, I'll work with you to maintain the traditions and honor of the CessPool, but I'll bend no knee to king or prince ... especially not Prince ... he alwas looked a bit odd to me ... not that there's anything wrong with that.

    Joe

    p.s. So what about my theme song?

    Well, considering you stole my sandwich, I'd say you take that theme song, roll it up real tight, and, oh, wait, we're reconciling, yeah, well, as I've said, I'm a big fan of the theme song, maybe with some Smokey and the Bandit 3, Smokey is the Bandit kind of adaptation, it would still work.
  5. Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Damn, no blue in the house. Okay, keep your crown Meeks (nb ... at least for a bit) ... oh wait, you never got it did you.

    Oh, about that, I got tired of waiting and took a cue from ol' Napoleon.

    Look

    Scenic Overlook #3

    You are standing on a well-accoutred overlook, carved into the ledge by the hands of a dozen doomed fluffies. From here you can see all of the lower Cesspool, as it flows into the Great Underground Ocean. The path continues east to west and there is a precarious climb down to the shore.

    Oops, sorry, I mean

    Inventory

    You are carrying:

    a brass lantern (providing light)

    a brown paper bag

    inside the brown paper bag is:

    a clove of garlic

    a hot-pepper sandwich

    a book of matches labeled "visit beautiful Flood Control Dam #3"

    a jeweled monkey wrench

    an elvish sword of great antiquity

    you are wearing the gaudy crown of Lord Dimwit Flathead the 8th

    See, I'm all ready the king. But no more apostasy, I promise.

  6. You know, I once bombed coventry once, just to prove to the allies that they hadn't cracked my uncrackable code. Turns out I was smokin' crack. Regardless of such actions, I can see that, again, we've illusioned and subsequently disillusioned another poor sot.

    I wonder, why do so many lost souls end up in this cursed place. Don't they know that they can find porn or liberal commentary with a couple deft clicks of the mouse? Why here, and why do they always effect such disappointment and bemused distance?

    Could it be we're the unwitting functional representation of spiritual fulfillment? In sight, unattainable, true perfection but requiring more than a physical journey to reach? Oh yes, I like that, yes, I think I will cultivate this particular genus of egomania.

    Oh, and I'm still here OGSF, you rotter.

  7. Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

    ...the lot og you... Ive just... Ive met this amzaing amazing gitrl... is reallöy gorgeous... and she wante dfme to call her tomorrwo... You knbow... getting wayyy to drunk... Im so sorry... yes, please do thatr... I Was so ****ing smartk... when Im drunk... spill my beer all over... feel her up, opr ask her... screw or something liek that... I was smart smart stmar.

    Hortlund!!! Stop whacking off while you post!!! Wipe up, take a shower and throw yourself in the mulcher!!!
  8. Originally posted by R_Leete:

    Listen you sometimes king: I've tried and tried to clear the drains, but the resident GRUE keeps dumping the contents of the chipper in them. Toxic sludge, I tell you. You see we can't even flush out the latest fluffies anymore. If you are to rule, you have to support the infrastructure!

    Oh keep it down, the next thing you know someone'll call for the creation of a Cesspool EPA. Hey, I haven't passed the Revolving Justicarship lately, not that you'll get it. Wait a minute! Wizard of Oz moment! The Revolving Justicar is a law enforcement position, so you've got to keep your ears open, right, for villainy and such, so maybe it's represented by a pair of silver ears and who needs a pair of ears like that poor little dog, Dalem! Congrats old dog, you're the Revolving Justicar, abuse as necessary!

    Looks like I scared off that cracker-rapper worshipping spaz, so I expect piles of plaudits from my thankful subjects. Yeah, it's good to be the king.

    Hail to the king, baby.

  9. I think I figured it out, when I told security to send any chicks with big boobs on through the barricades, they must've thought this guy, being a tremendously large boob, fit the criteria.

    Oh, and I've doffed my Holmesian cap and deductive reasoning and discovered how and why this sot is still bothering us. It seems, as usual, that it's Seanachai's fault:

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    I demand that Bone Vulture be banned on the off chance that he was supposed to be banned, and to keep all of us unexposed to whatever it is that he might have done that deserved banning.

    Better that a few innocents are banned than that a single guilty man escape.

    Also, this will probably lead to all sorts of comic high jinks and provide for many a merry moment at his expense.

    Originally posted by Bone_Vulture:

    You rat bastard. I'm worth ten "peng" thread spammers, and you ought to know that. smile.gif

    Notice the use of the smilie and the term 'rat bastard', an expression I not only originated and made popular, but also patented (It's in between the on-line shopping cart process and the solid-state hologramatic storage assembly).

    Let's all have a long round of applause for our dear Seanachai and his constant attempts at attracting headless chimpanzees.

  10. Originally posted by Bone_Vulture:

    Thank you. But the problem in your argument is that this thread doesn't contribute anything to the forum; it is utter crap, only meant to serve the deranged interests of the tasteless "peng" endorsing minority.

    Oh God! You mean that's it! We're not contributing!!! So you're not a utilitarian, you're just a run-of-the-mill communist. Great, I'll get my rake, don't you worry, we'll have this little CMBB forum running in tip-top shape in no time. Yessiree! You can depend on us, comrade!
  11. Oh thank the ghost of John Stuart Mill, the utilitarian police are here!

    There they are, all running about, especially that one chap with the nanny-goat fixation! Get them, get them, they're not contributing to the betterment of society!!!! Oh, you kind, rolling-smilie-eye using fellow, thank the gods you've come to deliver us from the ills of acting in an amusing manner. Oh, you're the light of heaven shining upon our pit of festering heresy. Thank you, thank you, and to think I, caught up as I was by the foul treachery of this place, had thoughts of making a joke, yeegods, you've saved me from a fate worse than death.

    Well, folks, I'm off to enroll in a vocational school, so that I, like this bird chap, can contribute to the greater happiness of mankind, instead of marching it down the path of dissipation.

    Whew!

  12. The ruler removed the rules, the edicts are as follows:

    On Challenging

    no idea what to say more.I feel like bacteria in cosmos,using that much brain,

    how its neccesary just to survive.

    probably good time

    to send me a turn

    On Decorum

    YOU BETTER KEEP BERLI OUT OF THIS.ITS ALL MY ONLY FAULT

    (some expert in english will help me :what name for somebody who trying to take advantage of somebody's else misfortune?)

    On Apostasy

    yes, you right ,a have complex of father

    On Justicarship

    ...God ,I went here like boy scout,

    seems that I'm going to come out

    like Hells Angel...

    On What We Like to Call the World at Large

    Its a Peasant Uprising so don't try to bribe me

    (hint ,hint)

    Don't you see :time of ,so call supremes

    is over

    Justicar, justicar, justicar!

    [ February 07, 2003, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Elijah Meeks ]

  13. Well, Shaw, you said it yourself, you and all your fundamentalist, poolist buddies. The pool is not a logical construct, no sir, it is a relationship between human beings, and as such, it is subject to the fickle whimsy of the most human of those beings, the inestimable moi.

    Pray tell, what do you think the next step will be for the 'Pool, backward? No sir, it will grow ever more decadent, ever more experimental, ever more foppish and dandified, until you cannot tell where the Cess stops and the poesy begins.

    Oh my poor sheepherd, you are adrift on the most uncaring ocean of the world.

  14. Oi, look at this git gunslingr3 and what a tiffle he's in about defending himself against the title of a thread:

    http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=005738;p=3

    I wonder, is he Joe Shaw's long, lost booby?

    I also wonder, though not so much, is booby spelled 'booby' or 'boobie'?

    Oh, and I now declare Bauhaus to be the Revolving Justicar. Maybe he can stamp out this Shavian menace.

  15. Joe, you, uh, forgot your theme song.

    Like everyone else, I hated it and the individual neurons that conceived it, at first. But, I'm ashamed to say, it's kind of catchy, it lulls me into a state of transcendental bliss.

    It's interesting writing a post in the 'Pool. You put together a general idea (Originally this post was merely the first line), then you spend some time explaining it, you try to effect adoration and haughty dismissal at the same time. Then, on the final edit, you change any expressions that may be too pedantic, as if sheer originality outweighs anything so silly as comprehendability.

    I wonder what The Courtier of the 'Pool would embody? What Rennaisance would affect the Dark Ages that are the 'Cess? What is Neo-Poolism and does it require sonnets to produce?

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