Seanachai

Your envy is noted, and appreciated. The fact that you long for my approval means there is hope for you. I'm on AIM, you know. Cretin.

Or is it because I don't have a separate phone line, and even though you know I'm awake, you can't call me because I'm online? Hmm...my bet would be because you know that I'm Always Right.

Because despite your constant, effusive and intellectually insecure claims to being 'always right', you know that I am?

In that case, one must also remember the titties. Only then will Jamoomba the Furry-toothed bestow upon you his warm and fluffy cuddle of doom. </font>

Thanks for ruining my fantasy...actually he looks like a little nerd. Can't see what she sees in him....probably rich. </font>

Mace, I think that what's most important right now is that we both acknowledge the power of cheese.

Bugger. Why am I thinking of dairy farms?

Well, Joe, it seems you nodded off in the middle of an analysis yet again, since you have overlooked a third possibility. Namely, that he stayed fully dressed at all times, including underwear, but had a second pair of soiled undies in his purse for just such occasions, being a foresightly kind of girl...I mean, guy. </font>

GODDAMN IT! YOU DIDN'T GET MY EMAIL REPLY?! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT THE GOVERNMENT WAS MONITORING AND CENSORING MY EMAIL! Oh, no, wait. I hadn't replied yet. Probably drunk. When you get back, Pancho, we shall..I imagine, have a barbecue, or something. You're halfway between everywhere real. You oughta do the right thing, and invite all the Minnesota lot and the Chicago lot to eat a whole lot of pig and get piss drunk at your place in Beloit. I look forward to you getting Berli out of the tree in your backyard. Come to think of it, you've got guns, and you're a cop! I volunteer to help get Berli out of the tree in your backyard. Shooting him would probably be too aggressive. But you guys have access to tasers, right? I could seriously see tasering the bugger, though.

I see Lars has the time to post on the GF, but not on the Peng Challenge Thread. When I'm at his house on Saturday I'm going to pull a 'Dalem' with every bit of kitchenware he eats off of or drinks out of.

Rosinante, indeed! There is nothing about tilting at windmills in my job description, Olde Man! </font>

I tried. You were. </font>

So, Boo...does this mean that you aren't going to fetch my steed, Rosinante? Or are you just pissing around?

What the hell? Why are Rleete and Boo both up and posting? Oh, Christ on a crutch. It's morning again, isn't it? ****e. Just a second, while I check something... Good. It didn't snow again. I don't have to go and shovel. Not that I wouldn't be quite up and capable of shoveling. I'm like a figure from myth.

A testimonial, dear friends! Keeps me posting, Berli lad, that it does. The day I lose your respect (or its approximation) is the day I give it all up, and go away. When he himself might his quietus make, With a bare bodkin; who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life

Eh,Nidan, lad. Good to see you still posting. Keep it up. Otherwise, what the hell am I supposed to do? If you don't post, who's going to tell the little children about Being a Marine? You know, of course, that I don't like to...well, actually 'like' anyone. Just don't, you know, actually go away.

Now, all that's been said and done. Where is my large, thuggish henchman, Boo? How I long for...well, when you get right down to it, he's the worst goddamn henchman in all the known Multi-verse. Mene, mene tekel Upharsin! Oh thou gods, when will I be free of this sort of thing? When will my large, thuggish henchman finally justify all the time and effort I've spent abusing his hulkishly awkward form, and make me proud? Have I not spilled out my very soul to him? Have I not named him as my own? Have I not threatened to kick the very soul out of his overly large and Calibanish body if he doesn't get a wiggle on, and make me proud?! Was ever a more demanding and obnoxious master more poorly served by a lazy and useless servant?! Boo, as you love Me, my Lady, and the Respective and Varied Personifications of an Ultimate Being That May or May Not Exist, my horse!

Heh. I wish I'd come here sooner. This thread is much more happening than the threads in the other forum. And you, vigilant bar-keep, the next time you're in the house, come into the room and say hi, why dontcha. </font>

Joe, Joe, sometimes your understanding falls short of your grasp. You are a classic. In fact, you are Classical. You are our Cerberus. You keep safe this little bit of Hell. You keep out those who do not, and cannot, belong. Fools come in, they piss you off, and they get you to show your teeth. And, once Judgement is passed, you tear their paltry, stupid little souls into rags and send them to limbo. But, Joe, haven't you been after living in a country where 'the Powers That Be' have been busy trying to end the 'Separation of Powers'? Where certain of The Powerful decide Everything? That will never happen here. You insist on The Rules. You maintain The Rules. We complain about the Rules, but we all know that without You, everything would simply be...something slightly different. More annoying. Stupider, if that's possible. And, after a long life, I know that there is nothing that can't become far stupider. But it is not for you, ultimately, to judge. You simply bring to justice. But the Olde Ones judge. And, like any dedicated to Justice, you are bound by The Rules. We are not. You are Justicar for life. Ever wonder why? Separation of Powers, lad. Did we, the Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge want complete, utter, and ultimate power? Of course we did. Everyone fecking does. But we knew that. And we knew that, if there were no checks upon our power, that the Peng Challenge Thread should become a complete and utter State of Fascism, tossed by the whims of whichever Olde One was currently sober enough, and gave enough of a rat's arse about the whole thing to impose his will upon the complete and utter lot of stupid, sorry bastards that post here. So, we said to ourselves: Should we not raise up One who might stand in for the will of The Mighty, and impose a sort of order, and, by his position, oppose the injustices that might otherwise arise? Possibly we could have said that. What actually happened, of course, is that I got good and drunk one night and said: We need some checks and balances, what about we make Ol' Foul Joe the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, and Berli said: 'Screw every single one of the stupid bastards, and what the hell is a justicar?', and Peng said 'There will be such a reckoning that even those that survive shall regret not being cast into a pit of filth and death, and I hate those sons-o-bitches on the General Forum, whoopsy, just a sec, I'm going after another beer, Seanachai, you ass, what was that you were saying about Shaw? Justicar? Sure, why not, the place needs an iron broom and did you see what that (expletive deleted) ('Screen name' deleted because of the libel trial) said about (insert any number of things) in the General Forum? So I made us a Justicar. But I want one thing known, and remembered, whatever else we might forget. There came a day when the Justicar came, and wanted to resign. To Us, the Powers That Are. This was not in Public. This was to Us. And we told him to feck off. We told him: You are Our Watchdog. We will countermand you. We will mock you. We will abuse you, and lead the laughter when we kick the feet out from under you, and we will belittle you in front of posters so stupid that you can't believe they're actually posting here without taking one hand out of their pants to type. And We will mock the Rules. When all you want is a place for people to post things amusing, and startling, and even, the gods be praised, amazing, who will not grow impatient with the man who holds the rules and measures, who knows the laws, and the traditions, and who insists on a scrupulous attention to all of them? But who can do without him? I cannot. Or rather, I will not. And the difference between 'can not' and 'will not' is that moment of difference between tyranny and community. Mind you, if any of you stupid ****es makes the mistake of looking at me cross-eyed, or gives me any annoyance, I'll come down on you like a fall of ****e from on high. Don't mistake my intrinsically democratic nature for the same as benevolence. I can't stand you stupid shower of bastards, and if anyone crosses my will, or the will of any of the Olde Ones, their last impression of airy freedom will be the moment my foot went up their arse. Oh, and honour your Justicar! [ January 18, 2006, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

You forgot about Europe </font>

No need to be rude you Imp! </font>

The worst thing about posting in the wee hours here in America is that only the Aussies are around. Not that they're all that bad, but at 6 am, the Thread tends to lack...flavour. You people are weak. Weak as water! BRING ME GIANTS!

Do you know, there are times when I think to myself: Goddamn every bloody thing. Except, of course, for Small Emma. Although he doesn't, probably, understand it to be so, that complete and utter waste of DNA, Dalem (did you know the tosser was employed, again?), was as near as dammit to death the other night when I showed him pictures on my PDA of Small Emma. And he said: 'Yeah, so? I guess you want me to say she's a cute kid. I don't like kids.' Useless piece of butcher's offal encrusting a knife dedicated to killing vermin. Some night he's going to wake up and find me standing on his chest with an axe whispering 'who's your daddy?!'

Well, you can't have that, but if you're an American citizen you are entitled to: a heated kidney shaped pool, a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook, a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home, a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum, a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi, real simulated Indian jewelry, a Gucci shoetree, a year's supply of antibiotics, a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number, a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick, Rosemary's baby, a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams, a new Matador, a new mastodon, a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego, a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor, a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu, a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck, a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped, a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away, or how about a McCulloch chainsaw, a Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce, a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot, or a baby's arm holding an apple? -The Tubes

Yo baby, are you familliar with that wacked out greek dude named Narcicus baby? </font>