Seanachai

A turban filled with ice-cubes...now there's a thought. Thank the gods, though, that the only thing Joe ever left here are silverware scars in the linoleum floor... Is that the one with all the feathers and sequins? </font>

Interesting. You need to get a dog again, living with only a cat is starting to affect your brain. You're developing DAPS: Deluded Arrogant Pet Syndrome. Cats are most prone to it. It's the result of the fact that, even though they're vile, hateful creatures that no right thinking human being would hesitate to put into a nice stir-fry, the fact that they are allowed to remain in our homes, and even fed, leads them to conclude that they are, somehow, the Alpha Partner. Remind me to spray you with a garden hose and then chase you around the yard throwing firecrackers at you the next time I come over. That usually sorts cats out pretty quick. Hopefully it will work on you, Whiskers.

Do you remember the email which resulted from your frothing at the mouth over that one? Bet you wish you'd never posted in there, eh? </font>

Doesn't anyone notice that Gramont keeps posting in here?! The game is done, the game is done! No, wait. It might simply mean he's in the last stages of addiction to oxycotin. We're on the third day of our near-record setting heat wave, and it's supposed to be 100 tomorrow. Besides being buggeringly hot, the humidity is way up, so that the heat index (as in: it's 90 degrees, but feels like 96 sort of thing) is dancing a slow, languid tango on the prostrate, torpid bodies of all those without air-conditioning. Such as myself. BOO! FETCH ME ANOTHER BEER, AND THEN 'MIST' ME AGAIN WITH THE SPRAY BOTTLE FILLED WITH ROSE WATER! HURRY, YOU OAF! I FEEL A BEAD OF SWEAT BEGINNING TO FORM ON MY SHOULDER! I may have to strap on the Cyclone Suit.

Only on European newsstands. In America, you'd have to pay a serious premium to see the handsome, blue-eyed Youthful Foreign Faggot propositioned by the Crone. That's because you goddamn Europeans have the Economic sense of a fecking house pet. Here in America, we understand the 'Economic Pornography Factor'. This is the 'multiplier of effect and expense' that goes hand in hand with how sick, disturbing and wrong the image is. Simply put, if the Image/movie/act involved is disgusting enough to turn the stomach of any normal pervert, then the people who need this sort of thing to 'get off' will be willing to pay any money for it, because it's not something they will ever encounter in their day to day round of perversion. If the only way you can reach orgasm is by watching a Twenty-Something Belgian Homosexual be hideously groped and sexually and emotionally scarred by a toothless Hag in her underwear, then the chances are that you're willing to spend something on the order of the high 5 figures in order to arrive at the sort of weekend that most people without a dependency on extremely unnatural acts take for granted. Oh, don't be a baby. You two should have been able to make up your differences by exchanging notes on technique!

You'll be after noticing I didn't quote the opening stanza. Sitting on a park bench Eyeing ittle girls with bad intent. Snot is running down his nose Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Drying in the cold sun Watching as the frilly panties run. Feeling like a dead duck Spitting out pieces of his broken luck. You're an Evil, Vile, Vicious Son of a Bitch. But you're not a Bad Man. That opening bit wouldn't apply. Thanks for the tip on the Ann Bishop novel. It's way weird, but I'm enjoying it. Gotta love an Incubus that longs for Love and Commitment. Have you gotten together with Bauhaus and Moriarity lately? I think you lot of sods should get together and have a beer and some food, or somefink.

Now, it's important that I'm up front with you, Iron_man. I do not, actually, dislike you personally. I may come to dislike you personally, but I am not starting out from there. But I am going to mock you. It is what I do. I intend to mock you quite thoroughly. Possibly, in fact, unfairly. If it makes you feel better, you can call me horrible names, up to and even beyond what is considered acceptable in the Forum. If you get banned, I will speak for you. I will forgive you. I want you to grow up to be happy, knowledgeable, and self-confident. I just don't want you to grow up believing a whole lot of ****e that has absolutely no basis in reality. I'm not too familiar with reality itself, but I do know idiocy when I encounter it. Idiocy and I even exchange Christmas cards. So, let me begin by saying that your belief that 'The Media', and 'Reporters' are actually in a position to tell you anything significant evinces innocence that would be touching, if it didn't indicate a level of naivete so half-witted as to be almost 'magical'. Reporters? The Media? One Thousand Monkeys hitting keys and drinking at the bar closest to Army HQ waiting for the daily hand-out flyer detailing the Military's PR flacks' analysis of 'What Happened in the War Today!' The Military completely controls the show, and the flow. If you think reporters are in a position to simply run off into a war zone, gleefully recording every detail for posterity, then you need to consider whether you should ever, for any purpose, be allowed to operate any form of heavy equipment. Such as, for example, a stapler. Any event large enough to register as the news equivalent of a nuclear strike may get analyzed and exposed enough to cause a stir. Occasionally a monkey gets lucky enough to turn out a single scene from Shakespeare. These are the revelations, such as the use of WP or napalm that you characterize as 'reportage'. In almost every case, lately, revelations like these have been either the result of merest accident, or someone in the Military Bureaucracy has gotten fed up, ashamed, or afraid enough to do the military equivalent of whistle-blowing. As for the International Media reporting every single sortie and skirmish... Lad, you need to move further away from Disneyland. It's not like there's a fire-fight and the intrepid heroes of the International Media Brigade get flashed the 'Bat Signal'. Unless they're lucky enough (given the number of the poor sods that have been killed, it's odd to call it that) to be along for the ride when the hammer comes down, the vast majority of them know less about what's going on in 'the War' than they do about what the barmaid at the local press habituated bar is wearing. The interesting thing about reporting combat in a war zone is that there are often quite large numbers of men around, with guns, and the right to QUESTION EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING around in almost every situation. In a war involving American troops, of course, you're attempting to report events while surrounded by soldiers who have been repeatedly told that the American Media is a nest of traitors and liberals who despise you and everything you and your buddies have suffered to achieve. And if you're a foreign journalist, you're just as bad, or worse, and you're not even a goddamn American, fer chrissake!. Chances are pretty good that, given the multi-lingual capabilities of the average American, you could get shot even if you're an Israeli journalist. Next, as regards your statement: "in which the media scrutinizes a nation's arsenal during combat" So what? 'Scrutinize', as you use it, has absolutely nothing to do with 'Analyze'. The Press, quite frankly, aren't there to correctly judge and understand the effectiveness, limits and strengths of weapon systems. Remember the 'Patriot' missiles? Widely praised, to the point of idiocy, during the First Gulf War. WWF wrestlers named their muscles after them. America basked in the knowledge that our weapons systems were supreme. Post war analysis, on the other hand, indicated that they may have performed FAR less ably than reported. That many of their successes, in fact, may actually have been attributable to the significant failings of the enemy missile systems. Reportage on that fact took years, was hotly denied, then ignored, then swept under the rug. Yet at the time of the First Gulf War, people were breaking down in bars and weeping while praising God for the Patriot Missile. So, how does that bit of 'Immediate Reportage' get modeled in a game in a way that isn't fecking stupid? Instant flow of information is not the same as 'instant flow of knowledge', which almost invariably does NOT flow instantly and neither of them, as I said to you before, even remotely begins to equate to 'instant flow of truth'. I can instantly post to you from the Syrian front that Syrian forces have destroyed 3 troop helicopters carrying 2 platoons of US troops. That is instant flow of information. Two days later, I can tell you that the helicopters were not shot down by Syrian troops. That is instant flow of knowledge. Four months later, a story can turn up that perhaps the helicopters were shot down by Hezbollah irregulars. The Pentagon denies it. That is informational complication. Four years after the war, it can turn out that the fecking helicopters were poorly designed for use in a dry, dust ridden environment. They were designed for a major combat role on the chance that the American Army would ever invade Washington State. Two years of denials by the manufacturer follow. Their statements are issued by former military officers who previously served on the Acquisitions Board of the US Army before assuming a six-figure consulting position with the company accused of delivering defective weapons systems. A Congressional Investigation takes place. Republican and Democrat Senators with heavy ties to the defense industry produce a report showing the incredible efficacy of the questioned helicopters in combat, based on a study done during a hot, dry day in Biloxi, Mississippi. Two years following, the revelations of a Congressional Aide indicate that every member of the investigative committee was provided with unlimited access to teenage Filipino whores and dinners at Red Lobster in exchange for a positive finding on the capabilities of the 'Use Only During Wet, Cool Weather' Helicopter system. Now, Iron_man. Michael Emrys, may he never grow any wiser, made a comment on 'a game system based on Science Fiction'. You very glibly (and, I realize, somewhat jokingly), told him that the, as you put it, 'Information Age' would trivialize and negate his comment. I maintain, and continue to maintain, and am MORE than willing to maintain at even GREATER length, that you were wrong. Completely wrong. So, so wrong. Wrong to the point of being put on medication in an attempt to 'keep you breathing correctly, keep you from pissing yourself, and keep you alert enough to feed yourself' wrong. Really, really wrong. A great example of why your take on all this is so completely wrong. As time goes by, we're increasingly finding that there were no WMDs. What we're finding is that the war carried out by George H.W. Bush (as opposed to his son who has been shown repeatedly to either be really, really, almost incredibly and insanely wrong to the point where you wonder how he can go to the bathroom by himself without pissing all over his shoes; or a great big lying freak), basically crippled Hussein's ability to acquire WMDs. It took another war by either American history's premier halfwit, or its biggest liar, to prove that America had already completely derailed Saddam Hussein's ability to acquire WMDs. So, how would BFC produce a game that was anything other than Sci-Fi if they went by the flow of 'Information Age' information about Iraqi capabilities? They aren't hard to find out? What, are you on some sort of Supernatural Wire Service? As I keep saying to you, as others have said to you, this is actually EXTREMELY difficult to find out. And if the 'truth of the outcome of a historical battle doesn't matter', then I have to figure you agree that the game produced is simply Science Fiction. Jesus, Iron_man, even I'm getting confused. What the hell exactly is it that you're arguing? Lad, never think that I don't notice a sarcastic exaggeration. I noticed it. I simply didn't think it was significant enough, either in terms of your intent to exaggerate, or your ability at sarcasm, to make it actually significant. A game entirely based on a war that hasn't been fought, with data that hasn't been proven, with forces that haven't faced each other, with weapons systems that haven't been matched against each other, with information that can't be reliably verified, and in which you're now saying that only 3-5 years after the hypothetical war on which game is based occurs can any remotely realistic conclusions be drawn... Oh, hell. I can now see why we're foolishly arguing about the Science Fiction element of Combat Mission: Shock Force. IT'S BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT 5 YEARS IN THE FUTURE THE HALF-ASSED, SPECULATIVE ****E RANGING FROM POLITICS TO STRATEGY TO WEAPONS SYSTEMS INVOLVED WITH PRODUCING A GAME OF OPPONENTS THAT HAVE NEVER, EVER EVEN REMOTELY FACED EACH OTHER MIGHT SOMEHOW BE PROVEN TO... Look, Iron_man. Emrys said the entire endeavour was an exercise in Science Fiction. That's exactly what it is. Your attempts to depict it otherwise are...'wrong-headed'. And you continue to beg, beggar, and make the entire fecking question get down on the ground and bark like a Pekinese, don't you just, though? HOW THE FECK DO YOU ACCURATELY 'MODEL' A WEAPON SYSTEM THAT HASN'T BEEN USED, EXTENSIVELY ANALYZED, AND 'PROVEN' IN COMBAT?! "You can see how effective it was by yourself"? Sixty years later they're still debating the effectiveness of WWII guns and weapons systems. And yet, for you, the efficacy of current weapons systems are all a given. Jesus wept. Ah. In this paragraph you redeem yourself from any charges of idiocy. Here, you acknowledge the highest truth achieved by the Christian bible, by the Roman, Pontius Pilate. He asks Jesus: What is Truth? What we have been arguing about all this time, is not what equipment, participants and conditions will be involved in a Science Fiction game involving combat between the US and Syria. What we've been arguing about is the whether the assumptions made in that game will be anything more than 'near-future' Science Fiction. You argued 'Not', and made all sorts of perfectly dreadful excuses and assumptions based on a supposed 'Ultimate Super Truth Information Age' argument that a cat would have pissed on. I simply stepped in on your 'exaggeratedly sarcastic' argument with that bastard Emrys, and pointed out that your 'exaggeratedly sarcastic' argument was too daft to avoid lying in its own waste products. Oh, and I abused you a lot in the process. I suppose I'm sorry about that, in a relative way. But so many of your statements were simply...what's the nice word that doesn't involve the word 'idiotic'? That word. Also, I'm up way too late, a lot.

Depends. Is he willing to whore any intelligence, ability, or knowledge he's ever possessed in the service of a bad master for a mention in the history books as the person who did the political and diplomatic equivalent of a stately waltz on the deck of the Titanic?

"Ye'll tak' the High Road and I'll tak' yer wallett!"

Eh, which one? I've been drunk for months...

And what is your mention? "Drunkest Canadian Halfwit Who Pours Out Words Like God Poured Out Water During the Deluge"? Lord love a duck, at least Noah was given some warning...

You know, full well, I'd cut your yarbles off and stuff the tiny things down your throat </font>

Well, clearly, Martyr, you are not Donald Rumsfeld...

By the way, a quick two points: Hey, BFC Steve (yeah, yeah, I know your bloody last name, but I don't choose to use it in front of some of our more Juniour Members, as it will overly excite them and give them ideas above their station; I think I am right in mentioning stoat in this category...), do you watch Firefly/Serenity? I like to keep up with the achievements/failings of beings who become Personages in my existence. Also, am I the only one who has noticed that the BFC guys only ever show up here when some serious milestone of work has been passed, and they're drunk and/or fecked up, and want to wander around the Forum with their pants unzipped, relaxing? I figure if Moon were to stagger through here half in the bag, we're probably close to some sort of announcement. Charles oughta fall by more often. We really dig Charles too, you know. Of course, if he were posting here, we'd know the game is about done. Kwazydog doesn't come by, though, because he hates us. We make work. Although we've been really good for a long time, lately...

Than thou shalt be saved. It is not necessary that you understand, or even enjoy me. So long as you immerse yourself in the Essence of Seanachai, you will be taken up and elevated when the Rupture occurs, and all Mankind is severed from the Things of This World. On that day, your M29 Weasel will chug forward and crash into a tree, suddenly un-manned as you are born up during the Rupture, which moment of the Apocalypso shall separate the goats from the sheep, raising the former up to a Spiritual Pinnacle from which they can have a good, long, satisfying piss down onto everyone else, and turning the latter into a tasty, yogurt sauce covered snack on pita bread. See ya' there!

Greatest collection of Unspeakable Experts and Experts on the Unspeakable on the entire Forum right here, Squire! Finest Thread in the whole 'Verse! But you rose above your doubts and feelings of inadequacy, and did the Right Thing. And we are all very proud of you. Someone fetch the New Bruce a beer! And I'd like to think that, as a means of retribution, we have admirably fulfilled our function. Well, not all the new guys. Some of them are idiots. Oh, man. Now I'm nostalgic. That stupid Wehrmacht wannabe with his stubborn, brain-damaged, endless pissing on about the German Uber-soldier's ability to run with a heavy machine-gun... First time I simply threw my hands up in the air and started shouting at someone in a post on the Forum. And the waterheads who would post their endless, whining, 'drool collecting at the corners of their mouth' demands for ever greater levels of gore, with every dead body lovingly etched into the landscape with WP or depicted as a 'blood and internal organ Rorschach'? I still can't choose which ones were more laughable: The ones who wouldn't admit that they were touching themselves at the thought of more blood, or the ones who earnestly explained that 'heightened levels of gore would add a level of realism and understanding of war's horror' to the playing experience. Ah, I never missed a chance to go in to any of those discussions and piss on the whole lot of them from a considerable height. Good times, good times...

Sun streaking cold — an old man wandering lonely. Taking time the only way he knows. Leg hurting bad, as he bends to pick a dog-end — he goes down to the bog and warms his feet.

Sniff. What are you going to threaten me with next? Being licked to death by puppies? I grew up in Minnesota. Watching endless hours of Lawrence Welk would be like a trip down Memory Lane to revisit the endless parade of earnest, humour-challenged Lutheran Squareheads that comprised my childhood. Hell, Michael. Why don't you just wrap me up in a big, soft, comfy blanket of emotional and intellectual superiority? An' a wunnah, an' a twooah, an'... If the Battle of Waterloo was won on the 'playing fields of Eton', my rise to satirical brilliance was made step by step up a ladder of Scando-Protestant frowns and disapproval. And am I not just a brilliantly satirical bastard?!

Well, Syd Barrett, hard drugs, and Victorian children's literature. It's all good. Ah, puts me immediately in mind of 'Hoffman's Bicycle'. Switzerland's only real contribution to Human Civilizaton. Oh, no, of course not. From memory? There's no way you could have had those off from memory. BECAUSE YOUR MEMORY IS TRASHED BY THE ENDLESS ROUND OF DRUGS AND WILLFUL HEDONISM YOU INDULGED IN IN YOUR YOUTH, ISN'T IT? ISN'T IT?!! In my work as an Olde One of the Peng Challenge, I've encountered the horrible physical, mental and emotional damage you epitomize again and again and again. Sometimes it's when I'm looking in the mirror shaving, but most often it's while reading the endless spray of mental uric acid that I daily encounter here in the form of 'witty postings' by the various halfwits who make their way into the Thread. The Horror, of course, arises from the fact that we get the best of the lot, as it were. And you better have listened to my goddamn podcast. For the gnome of the Peng Challenge is an Angry Gnome. Thou shalt have no Jester before him...

Why, thankee, Berli. The sentiment does you credit. Here, old man, I can't help but notice, as I'm cruising through this huge Amazon.com music sale that there are several J-Lo CDs of music available. Be a damn shame if some of those came your way, wouldn't it?

You know, the first act of any good Irish-American who gets a little bit of money together is to get good and liquored up, buy a bunch of music, and spend at least $500 on kayak and paddling gear... That's been true since at least when Brendan Behan was released from prison.

Tonight I may have been sent a Message from God about music. Or a god. Or some gods. It's all a little vague. It involves a huge music sale at Amazon.com and a van on Penn Avenue waiting to make the turn on to 50th street, which are not, by definition, tools of precision. So, I am refraining from judging until I have corroboration from a reputable source. Currently I am adding scads of CDs to my Amazon.com cart, from whence I will winnow down the total. Currently my dollar total is QUITE high. Although Amazon.com informs me I can reduce it by at least $25 if I agree to accept 3 CDs by a group called 'Bauhaus'. Apparently they will pay me if I'm willing to take those albums off their inventory...

Please, PLEASE, tell me Seanachai is gonna get shot </font>

Ahhhhh. Very nice! Now kick him.

Hey, Joe, get on this one! I wanna hear Bugged speak. It was way cool the time I got to hear Emma. When you talk to Bugged use your massive intellect to come up with a way to make her say 'out and about' in a normal, conversational way. As for Pestilence, I think it's important that he be made to sing a song of some type.