Seanachai

WHAT?! WHAT FILTH IS THIS I SEE, APPENDED TO THE END OF THIS GIBBERISH LIKE UNSEPARATED SPITTLE STILL DROOLING OFF ONE CURLED LIP OF A SLANDEROUS CUR??!! You impugn me, Shaw? ME?! That has always stood by the side of the Justicar, and supported him, even when his raging bluster made 'Leer in the Storm' sound sane? You question my Honour, spit upon my duty, when you are so lost to your own that you make a virtue of pride, and false pride, at that? See, all, how he struts and preens upon the stage of his own devising! How he first denies the needs of the Cesspool, then offers up his mock heroic opposition as a sign of valour, turning what any true servant of the Cess would approach with solemn reverance, or at least from up wind, into a circus of his own broad gestures and leers, arched brows, and poses! By all the gods, man, I approach you now not as one of the Olde Ones! We shall set aside that semi-mythological standing that raises me above the chittering of little rodent conjurers, waving their forepaws about like some sort of wizard of the vermin class, and which also, I'll have you know, makes the women go all swoony and more than willing to overlook the whole 'height' issue, and I stand now before you, toe to toe, as a simple Knight of the Cesspool. Well, not very simple, actually; for 'truly simple' we have our very own and, I'm sure, somehow, beloved Gaylord Focker. What I mean is, 'uncomplicated by lenghty and well deserved titles and accolades that would normally crush a simple sot like Shaw into the mire'. For, see you, Shaw, that as an Olde One, I must stand ever above the to-and-fro inanity of the MBT, a figure of dark judgement and final recourse, although, of course, not nearly so dark as Berli, but with a much better repetoire of songs, in any case. So, Shaw, who styles himself 'the Outlaw Justicar', look now upon 'The Bard of the Peng Challenge Thread', and take this! slap, and this Slap!, and my defiance! rather nasty and unexpected boot to the privy parts You convoke the Honourable conflict of the 'Pool, which fools, of course, take to be a challenge to a QB, or some sordid Rune scenario, still dripping with the screams of the last silly little fools that assayed it. But you and I know what that truly means, Shaw. Have at you, sirrah! [ January 21, 2003, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Good Foole, walk a while with your Master through the darkness, and listen to the ingratitude of children...

You guessed it, it's cabbage. But you're not hunting down that mangy dog for the food, are ya?</font>

Seriously, lad, no point in turning to mechanical devices for violence. Your spelling is like a felony assault, and quite capable of finishing off anyone in a weakened state.

Er, well, how much do you want, Joe?

Not completely sure what point you're making, but the manual clearly states that Soviets will be something like 'one level lower' in terms of troop quality than the 'setting', while the German quality setting will be in keeping with the 'setting'. So where the Germans might have 'regular' the Soviets are more likely to have 'green'. This only holds true for the early war period, I think up to late '42 or so. Is that what you're asking about? [ January 20, 2003, 04:52 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Berli, you sodding idjit, we havent' had a Crown. So what is it about the 'separation of Church and State that leads to an almost psychotic conflict between the Spiritually Anointed and the Secular Authority' that you don't understand? [ January 20, 2003, 04:39 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

I think he belongs to Lars, actually. I believe he was 'elevated' in 'The Thread That Died'. Some fine stuff, I might add. His willingness to ignore all obstacles, distractions, or even normal bodily functions has become a kind of byword for extremely fixated, demented Squire behaviour. Let this one go, er...'Grue', (where does f'ing Meeks come up with this stuff?)

How jolly! Let's close this one up, and move on to the next stage of the Coronation! A Peng Challenge Coronation

Yes, yes, file in quietly, take your seats, and then be quiet. We're after attempting to Crown a King here in the Thread of threads. Attempting, you see, because...well, there's some controversy. A bit of disagreement. Well, actually, Civil War. But, as I've always said, 'better a civil war than a rude one'. So, if you're looking for some sort of spectacle, then you've come to the right place. If you're hoping for some sort of ill-mannered punch-up with rather unimaginative name-calling, then there's always the General Forum. Normally, of course, you'd be subjected to a 'Reading of the Rules, Both Right and Proper'. But they've been suspended, you see, while we figure out what they're going to be, and who'll determine that. So, shhhh! The ceremony continues... The King’s See: Also it has been ordained that on the day of the King’s coronation in the great hall of Westminster, that the King’s see [shall] be royally ordained and dressed with cloths, cushions and tapestries of gold and silk. Alroight, sod this for a lark. The chances of us coming up with gold and silk are about as likely as that King Meeks will go to heaven. R Leete! Here’s a hammer and nails. Put up this stack of BFC artwork, Rolling Stones posters, and this black velvet picture of dogs playing poker. The Pulpit: Also in Westminster church [there] must be a pulpit with {grees?} on every side. These must be fair and arrayed with cushions and cloths of silk and gold about the ground of both. What the hell is that all about?! Alright, Leete, smear the ‘dogs playing poker’ picture with grease. Bloody English. The King’s Throne: Also in that pulpit shall be a royal throne and a royal see {?} in which the king shall sit. [This] shall also be royally arrayed with cushions and cloths of gold and silk. Cue the bobcat to bring in the Port-a-Potty! Here, Malakovski, make yourself useful, and put these…er, ‘royal men’s magazines’ and this, um, ‘regal fake monkey fur seat liner’ on the royal… ‘see’…(yes, the seat, you pillock! What the hell else can they be talking about? Bloody English...) The Abbot of Westminster shall inform the King: Also it is to wit that the Abbot of Westminster shall for two days before the coronation inform the king and queen of diverse observances that they shall do, warning them also to shrive and to cleanse their consciences before the holy annoiting. And if the abbot is dead or away in a foreign country ‘or leefully lette’ then shall another monk of the church be chosen by the convent [of monks] who shall fulfill and be in the abbot’s stead during the coronation. Alright…I’m starting to lose my sense of humour about this whole sodding ritual. Have we got a bloody Abbot of anything? Wait a minute… ‘if the abbot is dead or away…or ‘leefully lette’…R Leete, now is thine hour! If you’re not ‘leefully lette’, then I don’t know who is. I Knight you, make you the ‘Abbot of the Drains’, and hereupon obtest King Meeks to ‘walk right, and walk in the light’. Oh, and get ready for the ‘annointing’. Chances are, you’re going to earn your sudden wealth of titles, laddie. [ January 20, 2003, 03:14 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Oh, and before we get on with the coronation, and all, I think it's only right that Joe should have Vadr to Squire. Did you see how happy the lad was? I mean, if he had a tail (always supposing he doesn't...hard to tel with some of the mutants), he would have been wagging it. Also, the promise of Squirehood had him not only working on a bit of prose, but caused him to bodily assault and do grievous damage to a Pink Floyd song! Pluck, and intiative. All the things we want to see rewarded here in the Peng Challenge Thread.

That would only be right and just, laddie.

Softly. He sleeps in Avalon. Would that he once more walked amongst us.

A flickering fire; a pool of light in an empty and all but formless land. Three figures crouch forward, staring into the distance, from whence comes the sound of argument, battle cries, and general brouhaha. Seanachai: Interesting. Shaw says he's not revolting. Berli: No mirrors in that house, then. Seanachai: He just proclaimed to the folk that we're lunatic drunkards sunk in foolishness. Peng: It's a fair cop, but society's to blame. Seanachai: Some stirring stuff there from Shaw. Makes me want to jump right up and have at us! Berli: I find MrSpkr's declamations more worthy. He has a very precise sense of politics. Seanachai: I don't know, Berli. Shaw's going on and on about never accepting Meeks as King. Rallied quite a bit of support to his side, as well. Berli: Have you ever heard of the Earl of Montrose? Seanachai: Yes, I see your point. But I don't really see Shaw in that role. Not right for his...idiom. Works for OGSF, though. Damn near a natural role for him. Peng: Seanachai may be right. I keep telling Shaw to shut up, and he keeps declaiming. He puts me in mind of 'oh who shall rid me of this troublesome priest?' Seanachai: Exactly, Peng! Very apt. Point of conscience, upholder of what's right; sort of a noisy, bombastic Becket, or Thomas More. Berli: Waiting for Godot? Seanachai: No, the other one. The Saint. Peng: Hold that thought. Shaw puts me in mind of 'Theatre of the the Absurd' more than anyone I know. Seanachai: You've been reading too much Dalem and Leeo lately. Hmm...we've never had an Archbishop, have we? Peng: You can't be serious! You want to drag The Church in here? Seanachai: Not The Church, Peng, but rather, the Church. Or not even that, really. More like: the Temple. I mean, the only difference between the Templars and the Knights of the Cesspool is that the Templars were rich. Peng: Are you sure? Berli: The Templars were arrogant, willful, hedonistic voluptuaries given over to occult practices who did not acknowledge the Secular Powers, and who held themselves above the discipline of the Spiritual Powers of their time. Peng: Ah! Spot on! Seanachai: I think that, with apologies to Berli, we need an 'Archbishop of Canterbury', as it were. Berli: No problem. You'd be amazed at how many of them were Ours, in any case. Seanachai: True. If we would have a King, you see, then we must have a power to check their rule. Of course, there's always 'the People'. But most of them seem to be standing with Shaw. Peng: The 'People' are sheep! Witness the 'approval ratings' of the current administration. Seanachai: Ah! I wondered why Mace threw in with Meeks. At last, a chance to do what he does best with Royal Favour. Berli: So you would elevate Shaw to...? Seanachai: Archbishop of the Cesspool, yes. Isn't it funny how our little society seems to go through the same stages in its development as the wider world did in history? The fire crackles, and sparks fly up towards the over-arching stars. The three figures stare deep into the flames. Seanachai: Of course, this is a predominantly male community of drunken idiots given over to the most venal and ridiculous posturing, bereft of any form of logic, with more time on its collective hands than was needed to raise the Great Pyramids, and with as little regard for and grasp of reality as the average schizophrenic. Peng: An incredible reproduction. Berli: Uncanny.

What are you on about? I raised you to Serf in 'The Thread That Died'. You just have to post in an amusing manner now until someone takes you as Squire. [ January 20, 2003, 01:07 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Would be, if you could actually come up with one, and then manifest it. All the Thread's before you, and you can work upon it like an artist with a blank canvas, and the best light of all the day. And what will we see from you, eh? Half a line sentences that say nothing, amuse no one, and leave us with the understanding that you've simply nothing to say. Certainly nothing amusing. Prove me wrong. I'd like nothing better, frankly. Take a deep breath, and muster all your powers, and post something here that you think is truly witty, and amusing, and interesting. We can be a patient Thread. Or, at the very least, define 'wit' for me. I'd really like to know. But until I see something that makes me say 'yes', your pretensions to wit are just that. Now is your time. Humiliate me. Cast up such a post of wit and humour that all will applaud, and I will kneel at your feet, and you shall put your foot upon my neck. Go for it, seriously. There are any number of people on this Forum, and even in this Thread, that would delight in seeing me have to acknowledge that I was wrong about your wittiness.

Jesus Christ, Mace, turn down the 'Enforcer' level! Very well done. Made me want to run the other direction for a moment.

That's it? That's the best you can do? I despair of the coming generations. Nothing witty occurs to you? Sod off. I've always been for Democracy, but the best thing to do when confronted with shameful Idiocy is to avert your eyes before pissing on it.

Sounds like you don't know what a real drink is, and wouldn't survive knocking back a glass with people who'd quote, sing, and toast with every glass. Pillock.

Strong words from a man whose trousers I've got over here by the fire, attempting to smoke the smell of stale fear and sweat from them.

Actually, this whole thread looks like it could be heading for some sort of amicable conclusion. A consummation devoutly to be wished for. The work of the Modders is brilliant, and beautiful, and enriches the community that plays this game. But the work of the Scenario Designers helps keep this game alive, and vital, and always moving forward. It is part of the genius of BFC that they gave the community that plays the game the ability to create scenarios. And it is truly a mark of an exceptional community that so many are willing, with no compensation other than the enjoyment or praise of others, to spend so much time making maps, and scenarios for this game. Sod all this discussion of 'laws', and screw the discussion of 'intellectual property'. What is important here is the simple, bloody Courtesy. Nothing more, and nothing less. Respect the wishes of the Scenario Designer. You lot who think that 'it's maybe just as well if people go ahead and do whatever they feel like with the work of other people without permission': Get stuffed. No Mod Designer or Scenario Designer gets paid for the work they do for this community. The only thing they get is a feeling of satisfaction if what they've created is received well, gets some praise, or at least helps them on towards that sort of affirmation. The very least anyone can do is to make sure, before handling the work of these people in any way, that they contact them and let them know what you intend. All this pissing about over 'intellectual property', and 'enforceable copyright' and 'the good of the many, as opposed to the rights of the few' is so much annoying ****e. Simple courtesy is what governs all such questions. If you play the scenario, or use the mod, and like it, let the author know. If not, and you can see some way to better it, give them feedback. If you want to distribute their work, then contact them for permission. If you can't reach them, or they don't respond, then don't use it. If they ask you not to use it, don't. If they give you permission, than do. I can't believe this sodding discussion's been resurrected. I have even further difficulty believing that anyone is so brain-dead that the simple answer of 'courtesy' doesn't serve to answer the whole discussion.

A dark sky filled with endless stars stretches over a featureless wasteland, pocked by boulders and scrubby bushes. At the center a fire blazes, and three figures surround it, sitting on logs. One is a stern and judgemental figure, arms crossed, and coughing quietly to itself with an odd curse or two. Another is a figure of dark majesty, wreathed in flames and billowing smoke. The final one is a white-haired old man, ill-dressed in tatty robes, who’s quietly singing "oh, you new york girls, can you do the polka?" to himself. Peng: (staring off into the distance, where there is a great deal of noise, light, and confusion) Well done, Seanachai, you fool. Look at that mess! You didn’t even get to the second step of the coronation ritual, let alone anything like the actual crowning. Seanachai: True enough, Peng fella. Ran out of beer. Took forever trying to come up with the ‘regal regalia’ as it were. Got it right here (pokes the darkness behind him). That damn shirt from the Outer Board lad moves around all by itself from the vermin, and these pants from the Kiwi don’t half niff. Peng: Well, what next? Seanachai: Damned if I know. Look at ‘em! Oh, look, Shaw’s leading a revolt! Peng: Hmm. Think he’ll get anywhere? Seanachai: Hard to say. I guess it will depend on how the Knights stand, with one side or the other. Peng: It’s going to be tough. I see Meeks still has his ability to mesmerize and befuddle the minds of others. Seanachai: Yes. As strong as ever. Some of it’s quite good, actually. Peng: But see how everything slides into chaos, conflict, and ruin. They’ll be building barricades in the hallways of Schloss Peng, next. Seanachai: It does seem to be getting a bit out of hand, at that. And we never did finish the coronation service. I wonder if we should intervene? Peng: Or if we even can, at this point. What says Berli? Seanachai: Yes, he’s been a bit quiet, hasn’t he? This was his idea, after all. Peng: Hear me, Berli! Chaos runs rampant in the Thread of threads! Knight turns against Knight; Squire rises against Knight, and over all washes the red rage of wrath! What should be done? Seanachai: Hear me, oh Dark Spirit of Discord! The Peng Challenge Thread is aboil with conflict! Meeks, even before his official crowning, runs mad, and upsets the old order! The Justicar is besieged, and the Rules cast down! Some call for regicide, while others chant paeans to the New Order! What should we do? And the dark figure, flames bright, looks out from the Wasteland, toward the bright confusion of the Mother Beautiful Thread And The Dark Figure SMILES

I thought you were in Detox? Anyway, something had to be done, Old Foul Joe. And King Meeks is an equal opportunity menace: He annoys everyone. Anyways, we're not letting him resume his roll as Grand Inquisitor of the Peng Challenge Thread. We've had calls from both Geneva and the Hague asking for the assurance that it won't happen again. So we figure we're on safe ground here, and won't end up as some sort of rider on the Milosevic trial. Be calm, Joe. Peng's out right now, even as we speak, buying some extremely powerful animal tranquilizers and the means of delivering them from a distance, should we need to.

Yes, yes, fine, whatever. YOU'VE WANDERED INTO THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD. THINGS ARE A BIT WONKY AS WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO INCARCERATE...HERE, THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT...ANYWAYS, 'CROWN' A KING. The Rules are as follows: If you're here, it's because you've found 'the Life of the Mind' on the General Forum lacking, the 'Witty Give and Take of Humour' on the Regular Forum non-existent (witness any attempt to tease a mod slut), and the need to 'Pick Out a Specific Opponent and Challenge Him/Her By Means of Badinage, Banter, and Taunting' to be uppermost in your mind, such as it is. Entertain us with the your quips and rapier wit, and join us. Piss on endlessly about your 'thingy', the passage of your bodily wastes, and how entertaining you find them, or how 'all should fear how kool you are' not to mention being the next Vanilla Ice, and you will be derided, laughed at, and then ignored. Bring your Real World hatreds in here, other than a good and righteous need to annoy the Kiwis, and you will leave this place like a rocket, and very likely not stop at the borders of the rest of the Forum. Cherish the Ladies of the 'Pool. Remember that you, too, are born of woman, and that your mother was the first law-giver in your life. Annoy them, and the Law will deal with you. And a 'Glasgow Kiss' is exactly that, compared to a firm grasp on your nadgers, and a husky, feminine voice saying 'feeling lucky, punk?' They will do the 'Swiss Bell Ringers' act if you're stupid enough to laugh. And the musical notes of your screams will bring glee to every heart. Finally, include an email address and general location in your profile. We're not interested in spotty little trolls wandering about asking to be treated like 'a big boy' now. [ January 17, 2003, 01:03 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

A hat sir, I present to you, from a donkey, yes, but from a firm source, sir,I can attest, the patriarch whence the the kingdom but required a shoe. A most noble steed then and but requires the blessing of ceremony. edited but to grovel further.</font>