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Hakko Ichiu

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Posts posted by Hakko Ichiu

    Frequently Asked Questions answered by cesspoolers from the Peng Thread(tm)

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Forever Babra:

    It was one of the later betas, but I don't recall which one. As I understand the way it transpired, since my units were not spotted and certainly weren't fired upon, they did not cease their sneaking to engage the enemy forces a few metres away. They just kept right on sneaking, passing right through the enemy platoon at right angles. It was rather a bizarre <s>ocurrence</s> <s>occurren</s> event smile.gif

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    That sounds about right to me. Imagine the situation: your squad has been ordered to infiltrate the enemy outpost line. Pvt. Bloggs on point signals that he's seen the enemy, but they haven't seen him. You signal your squad to hunker down until they pass. Just to be on the safe side, once they're past you, you mow them down from behind and they never knew what hit them.

    You could just as well moved your squad deeper into enemy territory if you wanted them to scout. Seems like "sneak" has worked admirably well for you. I only wish it would do that for me.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    And now today's Autoglass Third Division Match scores:

    Kidderminster 6 Arbroath 0

    Bristol Cities 2 Hampton Wick 1

    Stenhousemuir 1 Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogogoch 0

    Sheffield Wednesday 3 Tuesday Weld 5

    Professor Doktor Hamster X 71 Goatboy 0 (shouldn't that read "29"? - ed.)

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-18-2001).]

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    Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

    I'm just jealous that Ethan wrote a story and mentioned everybody else's name and not me.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Chuppy, old bean, I'm killing you at my own pace, thank you very much. Unlike you, I'm not particulary in to throwing away my soldiers' lives like so many used Ribbed Magnums™.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Combat MIssion "Hit"

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    I've been an avid beer drinker for approximately 14 years now but am bored of my weekly ritual of either MGD or Yuengling. Someone please enlighten me.

    Remember availability...I live in New Jersey, USA.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Hiram, for a change of taste, why not try Mickey's Big Mouth Malt Liquor. The patented Wide-Mouth Pull-top™ guarantees that you don't have to taste it as it pours down your throat. And it gets you there three times faster than the leading cheap piss.

    Available in a college town near you, or at least in New Brunswick.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Official decrypt from Australian Intelligence (now there's an oxymoron for you):

    Joe has suddenly decided to withdraw most of his forces from one of VL, and try an all out outflanking manuever on the other VL.

    Given the (lack of) quality of a bazooka team that tried to take out one of my mobile flak laddies and failed dismally even after several attempts...I'm not worried at all.

    Meanwhile, I'll just help myself to the other VL, will I?

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    A command bunker for the U.S. First Hamster Army, somewhere in the Ardennes)

    Hiram: (snaps his best possible salute given that he is holding a paper-bag shrouded bottle of Thunderbird and a copy of Cherry Blossoms magazine) Generalissimo Professor Doktor Hamster X, sir!

    Prof. Dok. Ham. X (for it is he): Report, soldier, but don't splash me with that stuff. It burns.

    Hiram: Sir, we have a reported sighting of Joe Shaw! It seems he's posting turns in the Australian sector.

    PDHX: Australian sector, eh? Then how come he isn't spraying his trademark ineptitude in our direction?

    Seanachai: Maybe he's planning something, oh my general. Perhaps he seeks to mimic the famous cattle raid of Cormac Mac O'bergruppenstompingmackerel of which the druids...

    PDHX: Put a sock in it, windbag. If I want useless blather, I'll ask Germanboy. So, what do you think, Andreas?

    Silence. The wind blows. A tumbleweed rolls through the CP

    Meeks: Sir! This lowly scumbag begs to report that Germanboy is AWOL from the 'Pool, Sir!

    PDHX: And why's that, sailor bait?

    Meeks: Sir! This lowly scumbag believes that it was my polar-bear-in-heat-like body odor that drove him to it, Sir!

    PDHX: Hmm, can't say I blame him, frankly. But the question remains, where is Shaw? If he releases another pack of Mormon Wives, there'll be hell to pay.

    Fire and sulphurous fumes. Lots and lots of fumes

    Berlichtingen (for it is he): Did someone call?

    PDHX: Oh, get lost, you old has been. I had your number way back in v1.02.

    Berli disappears in a huff of smoke

    Hiram: I have an idea, sir.

    Geier, von Luck, jshandorf, mensch, PawBroon, Kitty, Y2K and all the rest: That's a first!

    PDHX: Back to your cages, you low-lifes. I'll deal with you later. Speak on, young Hiram.

    Hiram: Sir, maybe if you taunt Joe Shaw enough, he'll come out of hiding and send you a turn...

    PDHX: Pray continue.

    Hiram: You could say something to him that's witty, pithy and biting, like...maybe "I taunt you."

    PDHX: Hmm, not bad on the conception, but the implementation's a little weak. Still, I like your thinking. Have a cigar.

    Hiram takes the cigar and fumbles in his pockets for matches.

    PDHX: (reaches for fecking flamethrower)Don't worry, son, I've got a light for you...

    Exit Hiram. Exeunt omnes

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-16-2001).]

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    Combaiku

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    What rough beast slouches

    Toward Bethlehem waiting to be

    Born? Oh, it's just Peng.

    ------

    I think that I shall never see

    A poem as lovely as a Panther G.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Polar:

    One question from the filthy foreigner... when entering the Cess, would you suggest galoshes, steel toes, hip waders, deep sea diving suit, or Diving bell?

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    For you, a Femidom™.

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    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Well damn me if I don't talk about Meeks waggling his wongle in the 'Pool and he goes ahead and does it! Meeks, boy, it's literature, not one of those insert tab A into slot B instruction manuals that you get from some store in an East Village basement.

    Whatever the case, if you are going to waggle that thing around, point it at Stevetheratsass -- it might scare him away. Or maybe at Ol' Baldy, although I doubt his shiny, armored head could be penetrated by such small calibre munitions. Your best hope there would be to get behind him and penetrate his weak point.

    ------------------

    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-12-2001).]

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Teeny, tiny, little, lowercase jd mewed coquettishly at Czechuphis6:

    You need to decide if you are in it for the long hall... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    And what if he's in it for the short corridor?

    Honestly, jd, your preening, sub-Hamletish dithering reminds me of some teenage cock-tease explaining why she won't give it up on the twelth date. No, I take that back, you remind of some 20-something cock-tease: "I think you're really sweet and sensitive in a New Mannish kind of way, but your not getting into my Victoria's Secrets* until you've proved yourself. Now go grout my shower."

    If 6inchesinmycheek has any sense at all -- but if he does, why is he here? -- he will do what any self-respecting male who has not been completely whipped by the dominant femme culture of our sad modern era would do: find a better deal. A hot unit who'll give it up after a mid-priced dinner and a couple of Fuzzy Navels (or in Hiram's case, a pint-flask of Mad Dog and a walk back to the trailer).

    Frankly, the 'Pool has more sluts than Meeks could waggle his wongle at, and, with a bit of effort, cheekysex should have no trouble getting some action. That he picked you simply evinces his lack of taste.

    For the record, lest chokeonsix should think that he's getting any sugar from me, I would have him know that in the deplorable red light zone that is the 'Pool, I am $1000 bucks for the night, and he doesn't pack that kind of wad.

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    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

    *Victoria's Secret is a registered trademark of a bunch of super-hotties who have no interest in wargaming, except for Heidi Klum who only plays Germans on defense with large maps, no trees and rolling hills. All imprecations for Bauhaus to sit down have been removed for brevity.

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-11-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-11-2001).]

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    OT: CNN.com poll

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    My understanding is that the Cole entered Yemen, a known area of high terrorist threat, under a very low state of alert (Threat Condition Delta ???) per Fleet orders. While the Captain may be culpable to some degree, I think we have to look higher up the chain of command if we want to apportion blame accurately. Of course, we could just fry his sorry ass as a convenient scapegoat, and then the media will chuck this one into the memory hole again until next time.

    So who did blow up Khobar Towers anyway? I thought our Commander in Chief would not rest until the cowardly perpetrators had been brought to justice or somefink. Maybe things will change in a couple of weeks.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    How to use Archer

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Are languaga more of those big South American rodents. Nutria with really long tongues, perhaps. Whatever the case, massacring them is clearly a violation of the Second Utrecht Convention on Treatment of Rodents and Marsupials in Time of War. Expect a call from the nice men in The Hague shortly.

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    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Historical Availability of the Puma

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Talorc:

    (snip of description of optional "rarity points" pool)

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I suggested s.t. very similar in the original rarity thread, and I still believe this to be the most effective way to limit rare vehicles w/o eliminating them. After all, if a Tiger II is worth about twice as much as a Mk IVj, then one should be able to trade them off in one's force mix at a 2:1 ratio to the extent that any Tiger IIs are available. Anything else forces the purchaser to sacrifice combat effectiveness for rarity, thereby unbalancing his force mix versus his opponents.

    Having a pool of points would enable players to "mix it up" a bit w/o going overboard in terms of historicity or sacrificing play balance.

    Example: Suppose a KT is worth a notional 3 rarity points. The rarity factor in the game assigns 6 rarity points to the Axis player in a 2000 point QB. The Axis player is then limited to no more than 2 KTs, even though his total force budget would allow him to buy up to 8 of them.

    ------------------

    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 420:

    I fully endorse your remedy to my second assesment<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I wondered which 420 you meant. So what time is it?

    And you might want to check out the "Combat Mission Hit" thread. The 'Pool may be mutha-beautiful, but that thread is sublime.

    ------------------

    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    Frequently Asked Questions answered by cesspoolers from the Peng Thread(tm)

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Vanir:

    Thanks for the reply. The Bofors can begin the scenario limbered to a prime mover, but once unlimbered cannot be moved again in that scenario except by having the crew push it.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Unless the Bofors has been changed in v1.05, I believe this is incorrect. I have certainly been able to limber, move, unlimber and re-limber a Bofors, in the snow, no less. It is slow, but possible.

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    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

    0

    Veiwpoint One and Full FOW

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Back in the day, I believe there was some discussion of using viewpoints 1 and 7 only and wearing headphones, thereby achieving Total Immersion Mode™. I think VR glasses would really put the cherry on that.

    ------------------

    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

    [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-07-2001).]

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    Achtung Hamster!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty:

    Yes, I know. A few months back you mentioned such beasts to me. I quickly found a picture of one on amphibious exercises preperatory to "Operation Sea Lion." You can catch a glimpse of it in the background image of my site. He's wearing a large SS officer's cap. =)

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Ye Gawds! It's the Nutria from Brazil!

    There is a rodent in New York which looks exactly like a rodent in Paris which looks exactly like a rodent in Rio de Janiero....

    In hardcover now at all quality rodent book stores.

    ------------------

    Ethan

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    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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    "Longest Day" Trivia Question

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Extra Richard Todd trivia:

    In one of the scenes at Pegasus Bridge, Major Howard (Richard Todd) yells at one of the rankers. In the actual battle, that ranker was none other than Richard Todd.

    ------------------

    Ethan

    -----------

    "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

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