Amazing final video from Osama Bin Laden

[Erwin]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/starving-bandaged-bin-laden-offers-us-one-last-cha,166/

With thanks to WeBoB for illuminating this amazing discovery:

Osama Bin Laden, like many a terrorist mastermind - Saddam Hussein for example - has employed doubles over the years, and I have it on good authority from my sources within the intelligence community that the man who died in Pakistan was one of these.

This is one of the reasons why no definitive proof of the identity of Seal Team Six's most high-profile kill has been, or will be, released.

An awful mistake was made in Abbotabad, and several high-level bureaucrats in Washington have very red faces at the moment.

Acting on dubious intel received from the proprietor of Hamed's Bollywood Universe Video and Snack Bar, who noticed a suspicious amount of 'adult films' being rented by a reclusive bearded local man, the full resources of America's formidable Just Vengeance Department were deployed, killing a retired CIA asset, Tim Osman, who, it is true, bears an astonishing resemblance to Bin Laden, and in fact worked as a stunt double for the well-known Jihadist in several action films.

Tim Osman was co-producer on several of these films, and visited the US in the 1980's with a shopping list of props for one of these Arabic-language blockbusters - entitled 'Body Bags IV'.

The Pentagon was pleased to provide him with some surplus equipment, in return for some input into the script.

Tim Osman also met with several high-ranking government figures during his trip, and at least one was offered a cameo role in two planned sequel films, 'Body Bags' V and VI.

The REAL OBL continues to reside in Tokelau, safe and sound, but is retired from the movie and terrorism business, and spends his time hobby farming and writing a tell-all book about his romances with several well-known female celebrities, including Madonna and Katy Perry.

Osama's farm is about 5 miles inland from Nukulakia, on Fakaofu Island of the Tokelau Group.

We were chatting via Skype last weekend, and he expressed his regret at Tim Osman's death, but remembers that Osman and his CIA backers stiffed him on Royalty payments several times.

Unfortunately, because of this dispute, no more 'Body Bags' films were made after IV, but a rough script outline for 'Body Bags V' can be found here:

http://whatreallyhappened...LES/bin_laden_osman.html

As you can see, it would have been a classic espionage thriller, with all the elements of a Tom Clancy novel.

[SelfLoadingRifle]

Thanks for this.

I now have The Onion bookmarked on my new laptop.

SLR