A Brief Exploration of The Strange, The Empathic

[Desert Dave]

I have been on this forum for nearly a year. There is a good and simple reason for that... I LIKE war-games. I like playing them and I like talking about them.

I have started a separate thread in order to cover a couple areas of concern... to me and a few others. I only ask that it not be presto chango! consigned to Outer Mongolia... if the moderators deem it necessary, I would prefer that it be locked.

Also, it is not fair to another if I "hijack" their thread. They have usually posted it for a good and specific reason... I will try to heed, and honor that personal impulse in the future.

(... and, without doubt, there will be some, or many who will be uncomfortable with the confessional nature of this thread... that's expected, and so I hope you will just... whistle a little kick-heels tune and... nimbly pass on by)

THE STRANGE:

Recently SeaWolf wondered aloud if I were "on drugs." At first blush this seems to be a put-down. More serious thought might suggest that it is, or might be... a frustration... with the strange.

We do not always appreciate the strange. We desire... Order out of Chaos! and when one of our immediate group is acting odd or unusual, we will call them out. Mostly, we do not simply say: What the hell is WRONG with you! No, that would be impolitic and impolite. We allude to some OTHER aggravating factor, and drugs is a common and handy device.

We prefer to have Order. This is not merely an Evolutionary Imperative... it is also a matter of comfort. Who wishes to be made... uncomfortable? Yet, and this is vital, we will ALSO chafe at the arbitrary.

We don't care to be circumscribed... to have a choking Circle drawn around our immediately perceived World. By anyone. Landlord or neighbor or Governor or even, a friend.

All right, what am I saying here? I am saying this: I AM NOT taken aback or offended by SeaWolf's comment. Conversely, I am glad for the implicit challenge. I am glad that my narrow view has been... enlarged.

The EMPATHIC:

I will offer two examples. This is often better than mere explanantion or exegesis.

1) Can anyone here imagine just how difficult it likely... no, SURELY is... for the American soldiers in Iraq?

They are asked to be considerate, and exceedingly careful of the built environment, and simultaneously, a social worker and some sort of Magic Man capable of inspiring immediate relief... AND accept the complaints and organic miseries of an unfamiliar family, so to speak... complaints!! that have built up over 30 torturous years.

Meanwhile, they are circumscribed (... inserted in that choking Circle) by superior Officers, and the whims of Politicians, and the expectations of a very critical American & Foreign public, and loved ones back home who must be nearly frantic with worry.

THEN! They are also asked to BEWARE! Any moment ANY person imposing or small might arrive... with a bomb or a random bullet. And so, as soldiers then, they are asked to... fight or die.

To be empathic means that we can LITERALLY put ourselves in those exceptionally treacherous boots. And, we can also put ourselves in the place of all the people who have had their entire world turned upside down. Who is in charge? Where are the basics of Life, the water and clean air and safety for my family?

Who could even do this, AND, with everywhere and everywhere at once! an EXPECTED success?

2) Example 2, in the way of a Hypothetical.

Let's say there is a guy on this forum who is mostly concerned that all will get along. Who considerately welcomes every new participant. Who often acts as mediator and diplomat when some will become abrasive or impatient.

Let's say that this guy asks for... oh, just a little scintillate sing-song in return... MAYBE, that he might be allowed to post a picture now and then. After all, this is a supreme and serious ART, when you can deftly combine words and images.

But, another person blithely makes a comment that rudely intrudes and appears to denigrate the other one's innocent intentions.

Empathy asks that EACH person TRY to put themselves in the other one's place, and TRY to see the greater world with another's eyes. From another perspective. Sure, it's damn near impossible to do!

We can only TRY.

And this can be complicated. Who could ever precisely match their OWN mood of the moment with every OTHER (... and constantly changing) mood that is out there? And so, it is true, we sometimes will... PROJECT... our OWN frustrations.

If I were to say that someone SEEMS to be "controlling" or "impatient," it is very possible that I am worried that... I... am indeed the one who is... controlling and impatient.

Upshot: I apologize to JJ (... in a recent incident where I was meaning to be jocular and at the same time, expressing a particular preference), and in fact, anyone else who is the recipient of some ignorant and perhaps even accidental comment that I make.

Well hell, it is not "machismo" to act like this. Many will be... impatient with that attitude. But, I do NOT apologize for that. I have lived long enough to realize that words matter. Thoughts, even if imperfectly realized, CAN have some certain and serious effect.

Instead of sparrows in the trees, today, these are the things to be, briefly, considered... the Strange and the Empathic. They seem not to go together in any usual way.

Well, they CAN... dance a merry dance, and do.

Strange to some is not strange to... another. And Empathic is required... in EVERY instance, if we are brave and able, and NOT just for those we like or admire. No, it is especially required for those with whom we are... unfamiliar.

Well enough of this. Thanks for the time, and the space. It is, or can be, a gentle place... often ENOUGH... that we can breathe... fair and easy, now and again, and make of shared Life... a delightful embrace!