[Associated Press Story: 'The Peng Challenge Thread Welcomes Refugees, Decries Idiocy']

What a tart.

[Bunker Busting Badasses]

Is there any way to KO a bunker with arty ? If so, what kind of a gun would be required to blow a wooden bunker ? A concrete bunker ?

As of now, every bunker I've dealt with I smoked, then stormed with infantry, but I stumble upon a scenario in which the ennemy has a really well-designed bunker network : a couple of AT bunkers, covered by a number of MG bunkers. Can't smoke them long enough for my infantry to storm them (besides, AI's got platoons of infantry between me and the bunkers), can't brew 'em with tanks, since they're porked by those AT bunkers.

What's the solution to this puzzle ?

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

Ouch. Entirely too many polysyllabic words ending in -ism.

This foreigner (but don't they always ?) only grasps ideas and concepts expressed in terms of "Ug" and "Zog".

Patronizing old western Merikun AMOEBA !

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

I'd rather bang dalem's head, meself. Not that I've got anything against AC/DC, but it's *dalem* we're talking about.

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

Nothing to do with Cobol (well, not originally anyway). First picked up the name from a wacky pen and paper RPG, in which Kobal was the "Demon Prince of Black Humour", a kind of christian-myth version of Loki, only he laughs even louder when the guy that slips on the banana peel breaks his skull too.

Fitted nicely with my propension towards cynical humour and taking everything lightly no matter the topic's seriousness/gravity, and the name is also phonetically close to my RL surname, so...

The "2" came afterwards when some bugger hijacked my screenname, taking advantage of my lack of internet connection at the time. I came back online, and got showered with messages from the bugger's friends.

Eventually the bugger buggered away and his friends with him, but I kept the "2" anyway, since I'd gotten used to it, and besides with it silly blokes like, say, Cesspoolers can find themselves immensely witty when they call me funny names like "kobold" or "cobalt" (and, yes, Cobol during the Big Y2K Scare)

Happy now, you nickname grog ?

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

No, sadly I don't think there's any mime involved. I'd have loved to blow them up. No, I think there's only a clown, and he's in charge of the opposite team.

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Hey ! Don't you slander horny toads when there's Frenchies about !

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Didn't everyone duely provided with ears outlaw country music on the spot, on first hearing ?

(EDIT : this sentence is such broken English grammar and syntax I don't even know where to start correcting it. Which means : I won't.)

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Who would have used contraception in the late 70s, mind you ?

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

@Seanachai : won't you just sod off, you annoying little thing, you shame of the human race, you ... PENGER ?!

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Hey, it's not like I was given much of a choice in the first place.

Well, yes, of course, I coulda send them all to hell and back. But you know, my folks always told me you gotta be nice to old people, even when they're set in their strange, stupid ways and suchlike.

I blame my parents for the whole thing, really.

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

@Boo Radley : And your point was ?

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

(the Gutenberg Project version you can find here)

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

I used the first thing I could find : the Gutenberg Project version. Frankly, it doesn't much good to the text, as the original seems much more grandiloquent to me - but I'm a huge fan of Cyrano, so I may not be that objective with trifling with it.

Your version is even farther from the original words, I must say. Not that it's a bad thing per se, and I'll be the first to admit that translating Cyrano isn't exactly a walk in the park (which kinda inspires me to try and have a go at it, now that my exams are over), but still, I'm partial to litteral, close-to-the-original translations myself. Going for the "true" meaning, or the poet's intent, always falls short in my experience.

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

You strip from me the laurel and the rose!

Take all! Despite you there is yet one thing

I hold against you all, and when, to-night,

I enter Christ's fair courts, and, lowly bowed,

Sweep with doffed casque the heavens' threshold blue,

One thing is left, that, void of stain or mutch,

I bear away despite you. Tis'...my PANACHE !

And that's all I'll say on this silly topic, until I soundly gut Lars and give him his own mines as suppositories.

Anyway, not to change the subject, but I must say him and Joe Shaw owned up to drinking Coors.

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

86smopuim : I'm not a *total* n00b, y'know ?

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

All right then. I'll run over the whole thing. See if I care !

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

@YankeeDog : arty seems a bit overexpensive. Do you think, say, 88's would do the trick ? 75's ?

@junk2drive : can't afford the 50/50 odds right now

[Mines. Why'd it have to be mines ?]

Here's the skinny : I've got a force without any engineer. There's this gully I want to pour tanks through. In this gully, my cowardly and unsportly opponent put AT mines. Is there any way to get rid of them at all ?

PS : Lars, shutafeckup, you coward. And don't you dare snicker either.

[ June 21, 2004, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

[Does wind affect artillary]

I always believed wind affected arty. I mean, it's the only thing it can affect, so if it doesn't, what's the point of putting wind in in the first place ?

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

@willbell : what the...DANG. Well, says on your detail thingy you're living in the US. In CALIFORNIA, of all places. That doesn't only make you a traitor expat', but a cackling flower-giving beatnik hippy krishna, false blonde humping, candlelit one at that. So there. I'd bet you're not even from Paris in the first place. And you dare say you're French ?

Besides, even if you had not been a filthy bordercrosser, I've always considered reality and facts as guidelines, rather than ... well, strict definite things. IMHO, facts oughtn't get in the way of a good, egocentric hate diatribe.

Which means, I'm still the One True French Fecker here, you little speech ruining twit !

[ June 21, 2004, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

rleete, every problem, no matter how complicated, can be solved with a big enough club.

In your case, for example, getting someone who owns a torch to saw the fecking thing for you by casually yet politely waving a trusty baseball-bat-with-a-nail-in-it under his nose is a perfectly sensible solution.

(How the heck did these morons ever become a superpower without understanding the Club Rule ?)

EDIT :

Originally posted by Leeo:

You know, come to think of it, I kinda like the Frenchy koldblow. Too bad I can't take a squire. To bad he will die with the rest of us in the flames of Armageddon.

This...this means...so much...*sob*...to me you know ? This...*sniff* warms my heart, it *sob sob* really does...Makes me want to *sniff* reach out to you and say...

SOD THE FECK OFF, YOU WESTERN MONKEY !

Umpf, hard to keep that act up for too long.

I'll let you know, mister, that I, as the one and only, nay, the One And Only self-proclaimed French in this brainless sinkhole of a thread, I, not only as a Yurow conqueror in the midst of all you Merikun buffoons and sheep, but as the only speck of utter Frenchness is this sea of nullité à l'amerloque, as a true yet lonely bearer of Light, as a modern Lot in a khaki-yet-modern Gomorrah, yes, as all this I intend and *expect* to be as despised, belittled, hated, grumbled at and otherwise reviled as man can be.

Or, to quote, and sing (and translate) :

"You like me ? Good for you. Me ? I'll never EVER like you,

I hate every single man, 'n the more I watch my dog, the more I hate him too !"

Wankers. All o'ya.

[ June 21, 2004, 12:02 AM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Hmmm, a tracked baby stroller with a gun turret...Western, post-modern version of "Baby Cart" ?

[Adjacent heavy buildings]

That is, if there is an attic in the first place

But I'll agree with you there, if I am to blow up a wall while I'm *inside* the building, I'll do it on the top floor - less stuff to fall on my head if everything goes banana shaped

[This is the Peng Challenge that never ends....It goes on and on my Friends....]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw :

Sadly the lad has been absent for some days and we've seen neither hide NOR hair of his AAR on the battle with Lars. Last we heard he was whining and moaning about mines or somesuch, as if a really GIFTED player would be bothered by such trifles.

Well, I *would* make an action report, if there was *anything* to report. Apart from his insistence on shellshocking sandsnakes, and my finding of enough minefields to call for a UN inspection, I'm just rolling forward without *any* resistance whatsoever. The whole thing could be named "The Memorable Battle of Sweet Fanny Adams".

As to that wispekt thingy, well, I *am* a pinko lefty secular traitor commie yoorow, y'ken ?