DLaurier Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 So it occurs to me that we could collectively write a very historicaly accurate novel about WW2. Or at least cobble together a halfway believable story that would entertain readers. Set against the backdrop of the Normandy campaign, this story needs characters and a plot. Anybody up for it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 It was a dark and stormy night in Normandy... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taki Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Lt. Col. Robert George Cole from the 101st Airborne Division was tieing down is Parachute and checked everything once again. The Gliders they are sitting in are right over France and have to take Diffrent Routes to the Target. Their Task is Operation Chicago. Robert Cole rethinks the Briefing for the whole Division. "The 101st Airborne Division's objectives are to secure the four causeway exits behind Utah Beach, destroy a German coastal artillery battery at Saint-Martin-de-Varreville, capture buildings nearby at Mezières believe used as barracks and a command post for the artillery battery, capture the Douve River lock at la Barquette (opposite Carentan), capture two footbridges spanning the Douve River at la Porte opposite Brevands, destroy the highway bridges over the Douve at Sainte-Come-du-Mont, and secure the Douve River valley. In the process units should also disrupt German communications, establish roadblocks to hamper the movement of German reinforcements, establish a defensive line between the beachhead and Valognes, clear the area of the drop zones to the unit boundary at Les Forges, and link up with the 82nd Airborne Division." Not an easy Task.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 ...but his nun disguise was sure to confuse the Germans, Cole thought... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Wenman Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I'm just not sure Taki is taking this seriously enough "However Cole was worried at the way Pte James Gaylord kept looking at him and playing with his rosary beads......." P 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Lt. Col. Robert George Cole from the 101st Airborne Division was tieing down is Parachute and checked everything once again. The Gliders they are sitting in are right over France and have to take Diffrent Routes to the Target. Their Task is Operation Chicago. Robert Cole rethinks the Briefing for the whole Division. "The 101st Airborne Division's objectives are to secure the four causeway exits behind Utah Beach, destroy a German coastal artillery battery at Saint-Martin-de-Varreville, capture buildings nearby at Mezières believe used as barracks and a command post for the artillery battery, capture the Douve River lock at la Barquette (opposite Carentan), capture two footbridges spanning the Douve River at la Porte opposite Brevands, destroy the highway bridges over the Douve at Sainte-Come-du-Mont, and secure the Douve River valley. In the process units should also disrupt German communications, establish roadblocks to hamper the movement of German reinforcements, establish a defensive line between the beachhead and Valognes, clear the area of the drop zones to the unit boundary at Les Forges, and link up with the 82nd Airborne Division." Not an easy Task.... Ah damn...ya ruined it. Glider infantry didn't wear parachutes. We have to start all over 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASL Veteran Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Ah damn...ya ruined it. Glider infantry didn't wear parachutes. We have to start all over The parachute is part of his nun disguise. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLaurier Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 I think I created a monster 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Wenman Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Said Cole, more worried than ever about Gaylord... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Childress Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 "Private Gumb grimaced with pain as he stood over the open latrine. The burning sensation had only intensified since his fortnight's leave in Paris. It seemed like another lifetime ago. Finishing his duty, he lay on the hillside and watched as the wrench monkeys refueled the M10s below and reflected on love and the vagaries of war." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 "Where is Major Pyle?" Lt. Col. Cole asked from his staff. "It seems like Pyle's supply company landed several kilometers off the LZ, Sir!" one of the nun-lookalikes replied while standing at attention. "That's bad", Cole muttered stroking his already stubbly chin. "His glider carried the regiment's shaving foam supplies. Nuns with beards? Even the Krauts aren't going to buy that! Except for me, as I'm dressed as the Abbess. It seems like it falls upon me to save Major Pyle." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Wenman Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Several kilometers from the LZ Major Pyle was scratching his freshly shaved chin and was wondering how the hell Pte Gumb, had managed to spend his leave in Paris, two weeks before D-Day !!!. It suddenly dawned on him "Gumbs a goddamm Nazi! " he spluttered......" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 "Somewhere, a dog barked." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenAsJade Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I think I created a monster Reminds me of the Adams Family cartoon with the caption "It's a baby!" (says the nurse in the maternity unit to the father waiting outsite) GaJ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 This night, as every night for the last four years, Mimi dropped to her knees beside her bed to pray for liberation from the accursed oppressors. She hadn't had a decent piece of chocolate in that long and life hardly seemed worth living. She would do anything, absolutely anything for chocolate. In fact, as she pondered some of the things she would do, she began to get a warm and tingly feeling all over her body. She began to pray even more earnestly for liberation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixxkiller Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Tom Hanks runs around a machine gun pit. Matt Damon is one of the last of 32 Band of Brothers. His buddy Ben Afleck is somewhere in a small village trying to loot French Masterpieces that Sgt Schultz is guarding. He in turn sees nuthing. Halley Barry jumps out of a SR-22, does a wild spinning back kick to kill anyone who was in the Thin Red Line, misses, but connects with John Wayne who falls hard into the people putting up a flag at Mount Suribachi. They tumble all the way down the cliff into a man wearing a nun's outfit but it turns out to be Whoopi Goldberg. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Whoopi immediately starts speaking Navajo to an off shore battleship that starts pounding the beaches as Clint Eastwood and a merry gang of pranksters starts looking for Nazi gold. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLaurier Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 There isnt enough beer for this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vark Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Scheisse, the Sergeant thought, those nuns were behaving strangely, and were they saluting each other! The grizzled veteran held his regulation Zeiss 6X30 binoculars tighter, the lenses were clouded, a legacy of the Eastern Front, but he was sure some of the nuns had beards! He moved the field glasses in a short arc and grunted in satisfaction as the the French girl, he'd watched praying earlier, came into view. She was praying again, but this time seemed to be rubbing herself. He grunted again, squinted and adjusted the focus but the the lenses were laced with a patina of tiny scratches, a legacy of loosing the case in a poker game, and he could not see what she was doing. Scheisse! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vergeltungswaffe Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 ...and that was the last thing the Sergeant ever thought, as the Bear Jew, motioned forward by Lt. Aldo Raine brought the baseball bat down on his head again and again and again and again... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vark Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Well it should have been the last thing he ever thought! Luckily the majority of the hasidic, ursine hammer blows fell on the thick steel plate, that encompassed half his skull, a legacy from charging a T-34 single handedly armed only with his trusty canteen spoon. Scheisse, he thought inbetween the trip hammer impacts, this day just got worse. He fumbled with the MP-40's sling, which refused to oblige becoming untangled, reached down, for the MG-42, pointed it at the bears chest, thumbed the safety and squeezed the trigger. Hitler Saw indeed, he thought as he surveyed the steaming chunks of flesh that littered the ground, shame about the baseball bat, its shattered haft a legacy of the shattering impacts of multiple 7.92mm metal jacketed rounds. Now, what was that French girl up to? He squinted through the opaque lenses, but the window was now empty, she'd left. Scheisse! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemoN Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Suddenly he was teleported to the Easter Front, as the Western Front was just a children's playground compared to the titanic battles in the east. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 He had only a split second to adjust himself to the new location when he felt the earth shake. Then, again. And again. Loud thuds could be heard from behind a hill. "What the heck is that?" sergeant asked himself. "Welcome to the Easter Front", a voice behind him said. As he turned around, he saw a fellow German sergeant. "I am Rolf Steiner, and that", he pointed with his MP-40's barrel to the direction of the sounds, "is the Easter Bunny." The ground shook again. "Pleased to meet you, Herr Steiner. Now if you excuse me, I have a rendezvous with Destiny - ah, sweet Destiny, I wonder if she will later go swimming on such a hot day - so tah tah and see you later..." Steiner grabbed his elbow. "Not so fast. You can run, but it will catch you." "I will show you how a true Hannoverian sausage packer runs." "Then I will show you where the Easter eggs grow." "Ew." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erwin Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 At that point a huge alien spaceship descended, crushing the 351st SStrudel Field Kitchen unit that had just set up in the field. "Damn", said Steiner, "I was looking forward to their special Bratwurst and Saurkraut for lunch. War is hell." Then he noticed the huge Swastika on the alien craft. The door opened and Herr Professor Wanker (designer of the famous Wanker engine) strode purposefully out... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vark Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Exactly 1275.3m away, the gunner of the 88L71 PAK crouched over and checked his sights. The commanders reassuring voice, a legacy from his amateur operatic days performing in Pforzheim, could be heard slowy, methodically, giving instructions. "Enemy Bunny, range 1275m" "Actually it's 1275.3m away". Muckenfuss's thin reedy voice broke in as he peered through the optics of the coincidence range finder, his actuarial like mind, a legacy of keeping the books for a string of brothels, refusing to compromise when it came to figures. "Ok". Krebbs, said, too startled to take issue with this blatant disobedience, 1275.3m away" "Now its 1275.7, no hang on a moment, point eight metres away" "Here we go again", groaned the loader. It's Febuary the 19th, all over again!" Good job those T-34, 85's had stopped to massacre that infantry company, otherwise they'd never have engaged them! "You sure Muckenfuss?" "Yes Sir" Fire! The gunner watched the tracer based APHE shot speed away, dip ever so slightly, and strike the Bunnies waistcoat, then in horror he saw it streak skyward! "You hit the bloody pocket watch!" Screamed the commander. Load, fire again, his usually calm demeanour visibly started to buckle" "Range?" Shouted the gunner. "Same as bloody before" Screamed the commander and gave Muckenfuss an evil glare whilst cocking his MP-40. Muckenfuss took the hint and remained silent, though he made a mental note not to give the commander a discount with Big Bertha's girls, next time they went on leave. The loader punched in another massive shell and joind in the yelling. "LOADED!" He bellowed. FIRE! The gunner, not to be outdone, screamed so loudly he felt his vocal cords tear. The second round again, effortlessly penetrated the waistcoat and the burster charge, this time, tore the creature apart. The Sergeant and Steiner, who had both thrown themselves down on hearing the express train roar of AP shot, now slowly picked themselves up. I'm covered in yolk thought the Sergeant, and egg shell and bunny guts. Scheisse! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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