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Holy SH*T! Pucker Factor 5!


Mord

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Last spring I was helping a friend clear a bunch of long-neglected stuff (wood planks, plant pots, etc.) from his backyard when I felt a tickle along the back of my right ear. Absent-mindedly I flicked my ear forward with my finger, and from where I had felt the tickle I saw a not-all-that-small black spider hurtle down to land in the grass at my feet. Sent a shiver up my spine, let me tell you. Don't think it was a black widow, though.

For some reason in my neighborhood the population of a certain species of not-small partially orange-bodied spider has practically exploded in the past couple months. On non-windy days in the front yard there are as many as 8 or 9 of them readily visible in large webs between the gutters and the hedge (right alongside the walkway up to the front door) or between the hedge and the lawn or between the lawn and the tree.

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I guy I know was in a roadside cafe in Vietnam and the waitress came to him and started saying something urgent in a loud voice. He understood nothing and was saying "It's OK, it's OK" and making patting down motions with his hands - then he saw on his shoulder the largest, meanest spider in the whole world ever.

He squealed like a girl as he flung it off then, apparently, danced around waving his hands.

Really flew the flag on that one.

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I guy I know was in a roadside cafe in Vietnam and the waitress came to him and started saying something urgent in a loud voice. He understood nothing and was saying "It's OK, it's OK" and making patting down motions with his hands - then he saw on his shoulder the largest, meanest spider in the whole world ever.

He squealed like a girl as he flung it off then, apparently, danced around waving his hands.

Really flew the flag on that one.

Yeah, I remember getting stranded in the Sudanese desert by a breakdown. We spent the night in a goatherd's shack. We're sitting there in our sleeping bags and I saw the hugest spider sitting right in my mate's hair. I looked at him and said "Scotty, do not ****ing move." He said my face was so serious he didn't even think I was joking. I managed to swipe it out with a bit of cardboard, but it took about six goes because his hair was so thick.

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Wiki disagrees with you.

I have a mild fear of spiders to begin with, meaning I'll be sure to whack any spider inside the home anyway but with the added bonus of being potentially lethal, I would go out of my way to bring crunchy death upon them. The tiny risk of death is in no way offset by them feeding of other critters IMHO.

To boot, Wiki mentions healthy adults. I would assume that children and pets would be at greater risk. I really don't see any upside of sharing living space with them.

You know, I've just looked up what kind of spiders we've got over here in The Netherlands as I've got the occasional huge spider visitor. Turns out they can be fairly venomous too. Great. Didn't know that. Would not have minded to have gone on not knowing that. :) I always figured poisonous critters happened to other places.

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Getting back to the title of this thread , this was copied from the wiki page:

"Improvements in plumbing have greatly reduced the incidence of bites and fatalities in areas where outdoor privies have been replaced by flush toilets."

How did Joe die?

He done got spider bit.

Yeah, where did it bite him?

Over yonder in the outhouse. :eek:

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