Gaudete! It's A New Peng Challenge Thread!

[Boo Radley]

And not a moment too soon!

Short form:

This is a Challenge Thread. Challenge someone to a game. And pick out that person and challenge him with bile, gusto and more bile.

But pick your target carefully, for if he be a KAAAAAA-NIGGET or an Olde One, you have to go back ten spaces and you lose a turn.

Speak kindly to the Ladies of the Pool for they be far above you and will joyfully kick you inna fork at the least provocation.

When The Illustrious Justicar For Life of the Peng Challenge Thread speaks, pretend to pay attention. Really, it's just easier on all of us if you do.

And to save time, why don't you just SOD OFF! M'kay?

[Joe Shaw]

And not a moment too soon!

Short form:

This is a Challenge Thread. Challenge someone to a game. And pick out that person and challenge him with bile, gusto and more bile.

But pick your target carefully, for if he be a KAAAAAA-NIGGET or an Olde One, you have to go back ten spaces and you lose a turn.

Speak kindly to the Ladies of the Pool for they be far above you and will joyfully kick you inna fork at the least provocation.

When The Illustrious Justicar For Life of the Peng Challenge Thread speaks, pretend to pay attention. Really, it's just easier on all of us if you do.

And to save time, why don't you just SOD OFF! M'kay?

Short, to the point ... and BORING! As a Knight of the CessPool (though not, despite my efforts, a Senior Knight) you have an obligation to at least make the effort lad ... to do more than just mail it in. And as a member of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread you are obliged to do more than THAT!

And it's not Illustrious ... though that could certainly apply in my case ... it's Beloved and, note you carefully young Boo Radley, it's NOT bolded as it's not a part of my officially approved title but rather a statement of obvious fact.

I had plans for you young Boo Radley, indeed I did. I had planned that 2009 would you see you advanced from the rank of Auxilliary Backup Deputy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread to that of Backup Deputy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. That's right Boo Radley, you'd no longer be an Auxiliary member but a full fledged member of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread.

Don't think there aren't other candidates out there you know, candidates who'd appreciate the sacrificies I've made and the high honor and privilege I've SO FAR bestowed on you alone. There's Wolfp Mk II for example, and he has actual executive experience ... granted it's just a title, I mean if you're the Executive Officer you really don't have any executive experience do you. And it is the Marines after all ...

Where was I ...

Joe

[Noba]

BORING!

Where was I ...

Joe

Now, see that Joe!

Cut our the verbal* diarrhea and you make some sense, almost.

Noba.

* For Radley. He speaks the words out loud as he reads.

[Joe Shaw]

Now, see that Joe!

Cut our the verbal* diarrhea and you make some sense, almost.

Noba.

* For Radley. He speaks the words out loud as he reads.

It may appear to be the case but he's really just sounding them out as his wife points to them.

Joe

[Seanachai]

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Tempus ad est gratiae hoc quod optabamus,

Carmina laetitiae devote redamus.

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Deus homo factus est naturam erante,

Mundus renovatus est a Christo regnante.

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Ezecheelis porta clausa per transitor

Unde lux est orta sallus invenitor.

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Ergo nostra contio psallat jam in lustro,

Benedicat domino sallas regi nostro.

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Just so the ignorant (who are legion), don't think Boo is pulling words out of his arse.

A Merry Christmas to you all!

Spent the day at a farm in Canon Falls in southern Minnesota, drinking wine and smoking cigars around a bonfire, while trying not to die in the 50 mph winds filled with snow particles that were etching 'Joyeuse Noel' in the arse of everyone at the fire. Minnesota is not like Bethlehem. Anyone following a star to the manger in Minnesota would have found out it was a flare sent up to aid the rescue mission.

A good time was had by all.

I taught my nephews and nieces my new 'Our Awful Uncle Steve' song, and later attempted to do the 'scalded wolverine' move with my car out of the snow drifts that had formed around it so as to drive home. I was 3/4s successful.

After 3 strong men with aluminum scoop shovels had spent 15 minutes removing the final 1/4 impediment, I spun out over the snow flats of the farmyard with all the windows open, shouting "Merry Christmas to all, and to all - holy sh*t, 'ware the tree! - and to all - Goddamn It! - and to all - No, No, No, call the dog out of the way! - and to all - Mary Mother of God, the bonfire! - and to all, a - AIIIIEEEEE, SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS A POSSUM I RAN OVER, AND NOT ONE OF THE KIDS! - and to all - SON OF A BI- !!! - and to all a bloody goodnighhhhhhhhhhhht!"

There were knee-high drifts on the mile long gravel road back to the highway, but once you've got the bit in your teeth you just ram your way through them like you were on your way to Moscow with Guderian, and any forest creature stupid enough to be out there in the wind and blowing snow is just a footnote to the concept of Evolution. Think glaring headlights, mad laughter, and a small, blue car mimicking a ball in a pachinko game. I imagine there's a reason that the rest of the family let me leave first...

The final 40 minutes of the drive home were quite peaceful, actually.

At least, for me.

In any case, my Blessing upon you all.

[Seanachai]

Double post? Double post?! ME?!!!

Must have been something I hit on the way home...

[Seanachai]

Some of you may not know your ancient languages, so I shall provide a translation:

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Rejoice, rejoice, for Christ is born

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

From Mary, who is rejoicing over the fact that everyone thinks she's a virgin

Tempus ad est gratiae hoc quod optabamus,

There was a time when we were grateful for hippos

Carmina laetitiae devote redamus.

But my cousin Carmine tells me we should now devote ourselves to this girl he knows who likes radishes (this one's a bit dicey; Latin, after all, is a dead language for a reason)

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Rejoice, rejoice, because God has a navel (inflection changes the original meaning, just like in Gaelic, and Klingon...)

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

The ex-virgin is ever so happy (see above)

Deus homo factus est naturam erante,

God and man now have enough fruit in their diet

Mundus renovatus est a Christo regnante.

And tomorrow, the carpenter will reign, as we begin renovating the house

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Rejoice, rejoice, because Christ is born

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

Rejoice that even virgins can make good

Ezecheelis porta clausa per transitor

Unde lux est orta sallus invenitor.

Let us now proclaim that one day someone will invent the transistor, and the lights will become smaller and more twinkly

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Have we mentioned how happy we are about the whole birth of Jesus, thing?

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

And no one ever needs to be a virgin again, eh?

Ergo nostra contio psallat jam in lustro,

Because my jam is lustrous and spreads smoothly, I will continue to sing praises

Benedicat domino sallas regi nostro.

God wants us to let the cat out to go to the bathroom, let us praise him

Gaudete, gaudete Christos est natus

Ex Maria virginae, gaudete.

This whole thing about the birth of the lord is just great, and let's not forget the wonderful contributions of his mom!

There you have it. An olde fashioned song of rejoicing. Makes you lot of ignorant savages wish you'd paid attention in class, doesn't it?

[Stuka]

I think that is a little like " my old man's a dustman, and 'e wears a dustman's 'at"

[Noba]

I think that is a little like " my old man's a dustman, and 'e wears a dustman's 'at"

You ARE an idiot... arn't you !

Noba.

[Stuka]

It's 'aren't' not 'arn't'.....idiot......

[Noba]

It's 'aren't' not 'arn't'.....idiot......

No, idiot.

It's aunt.

Noba.

[Michael Emrys]

There you have it. An olde fashioned song of rejoicing.

For that I could almost forgive you for being a papist Irishman, as well as some of your many other sins. Almost.

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

You ARE an idiot... arn't you !

Noba.

Witness the spectacle, ladies and germs, of an idiot ASKING another idiot IF he's an idiot ... the answer, in both cases, is a resounding YES.

Seanachai, your posts, while infrequent, are clearly a step above the rest ... granted they result in the same effect one finds when one ventures beyond the "DO NOT STEP ABOVE THIS RUNG" warning found on ladders but still ...

Here's hoping that you all got what you wanted ... or at least what you deserve.

And here's a tip for those who, like myself, have eschewed the joys of console gaming in favor of PC gaming lo these many years ... there is a serious dearth, indeed one might even say a complete absence, of ANY decent games for the Wii my wife had me purchase for the Wii Fitness program. Somehow, Mushroom Men - Spore Wars doesn't quite scratch the itch in the same way that CM does ...

However, for those of you who've always wondered to yourself, "What must it be like to be Michael?" Well, wonder no longer ...

Imagine Party Babyz brings the fun of the popular Babyz franchise to the Wii in the form of a play date neither you or your child will soon forget. Reminiscent of earlier releases in the franchise where players nurture individual babies while mothers and fathers are away at work or on errands, Imagine Party Babyz expands on the idea with the twist of placing players in the role of a baby in daycare.

Ah well ... back to the PC say I.

Joe

[Wolfp MkII]

Dear Santa,

I know it's abnormal form to wing you a letter the day after Christmas; everybody needs a rest every now and again, and you, above all, are well deserving! I also know that you were unable to fulfill any of my requests for this year, such as a lasting world peace, an end to hunger, an answer to the issue of global warming, a brain for stuka, and a bowl of blue M&Ms. Truly, I understand some of these desires were a little over the top, especially the brain; we both know it would have been ignored in favor of playing with the box in which it arrived. If I may, I have but one additional request, and such a simple request it is; that the Justicar send me a turn. I know, I know...you and the missus are probably doing the limbo on some Carribean island, and this must seem a tall order for such a simple matter. A few trons cast down that electronic highway, created by Al Gore to simplify all our lives, still seem beyond the scope and means of our beloved Justicar...just between you and me, he has been ranting quite oft as of late; we think he has gone off his meds...again...{sniff!}...That is all I really, really want. If you could see fit to bring this to me, I would be eternally greatful and never, ever ask for another thing. I promise!

Sincerely

Wolfp MkII

P.S. I know I said I wouldn't, but there is one more thing. Would it be possible to fill his matress with dead fish? Thanks.

[Michael Emrys]

Mushroom Men - Spore Wars

This has something to do with Boo, doesn't it? I mean, it reeks with insidiousness. Or if not insidiousness, poor hygiene.

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

This has something to do with Boo, doesn't it? I mean, it reeks with insidiousness. Or if not insidiousness, poor hygiene.

Michael

It does seem suspicious doesn't it ... however, let's be fair ...we've not played the game yet so it's possible that it DOESN'T have anything to do with congenital idiots who live in Ohio ... though the odds are against it.

Wolfp Mk II I've just been out shoveling the damn driveway ... did it yesterday in the wake of a nasty snowstorm and awoke this morning to find that ... huzzah ... it had snowed AGAIN and this time it was even better than the day before.

What does this have to do with your turn, especially since completing the turn satisfactorily for me would consist of little more than watching more of your vehicles explode, chortling madly and then hitting the GO button?

Nothing really ... it just makes me feel good to ignore you.

Joe

[Wolfp MkII]

...Wolfp Mk II I've just been out shoveling the damn driveway ... did it yesterday in the wake of a nasty snowstorm and awoke this morning to find that ... huzzah ... it had snowed AGAIN and this time it was even better than the day before.

What does this have to do with your turn, especially since completing the turn satisfactorily for me would consist of little more than watching more of your vehicles explode, chortling madly and then hitting the GO button?

Nothing really ... it just makes me feel good to ignore you.

Joe...

See Santa,

I told you...Ranting!

R/Wolfp MkII

[Boo Radley]

Wow, Seanachai, I put the Latin word for "Rejoice" in the head and you go all Anuna on me.

Dear Joe, you want to give my job to Wolfpee Mk 3.14?

Swell! I've got (Checks pocket) $1.47* to sweeten the deal!

*American

[Noba]

Dear Santa,

I know it's abnormal that the Justicar send me a turn.

Sincerely

Wolfp MkII

P.S. I know I said I wouldn't, but there is one more thing. Would it be possible to fill his matress with dead fish? Thanks.

Dear Mr. Wolfp.

As you know, Santa is taking a well earned rest at this time, and has removed me from a totally wild Elf Party to answer your request. Thanks for that.

Where to start? Miracles, well Mr. Clause has seemingly done many of those over the years, but when he was told of the enormity of your outrageous request, he promptly grabbed me to use all my skills at blowing off.. er, denying gracefully, your request.

You see, Mr. Clause has had "dealings" with a certain JOE SHAW (spelt, not bolded*) from before times when Methuselah was a baby. It seems from the many files of letters received from a young JOE SHAW (spelt, not bolded) over the years - first in crayon, and hardly legible - that certain traits have been noticed. The main one being that.. "it's always someone else's fault". Hence it would appear that in this case Mr. SHAW (spelt, not bolded) is blaming you for not sending turns when he expects them. His memory is also past redemption, so I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting if I were you.

This is also manifested itself in the wider world aspect of Mr. SHAW's (spelt, not bolded) working life. If "Banking" can be considerd work. You see, he was programmed at an early age to accept that "it is someone else's fault" and thereby to enter the world of finance. Hence, you by accepting to play him in something in which he has not one skerrick of natural ability forthcoming, are doomed to be forever waiting... and waiting whilst he struggles to make the seven mouse clicks - in the correct order - required to send you back your turn. Even then, he will often get it wrong and resend an already completed turn.

For someone who is trying to gain Olde One status via nefarious political shennanigans, the term "Buckleys and None" should loom large in his life and force a stop to wild and wooly pipe-dreams. But again, don't hold your breath. Given that he can't concentrate on two things at once, and breathing takes a lot of his time, unfortunately you will be waiting until he can hold his breath long enough to send required turn.

As for the dead fish. That's easy.

Yours

Michaelmus Elf.

*Santa words were... "Don't bold that sneakin' lying little tyke's name."

[Seanachai]

Wow, Seanachai, I put the Latin word for "Rejoice" in the head and you go all Anuna on me.

I think my first encounter with that song was Steeleye Span.

But, oh Boo, remember that tomorrow is a great big fish!

[Michael Emrys]

Would it be possible to fill his matress with dead fish?

As appealing as that image is, that gambit would probably be discovered before it could fully take effect. No, the way to go is to break into his house with a jar of cheap caviar when he is away on one of his "trips". Then you leave a spoonful or two in each of the curtain rods, and in some convenient locations under the bottoms of chairs, sofas, beds, tables, closet shelves, etc. In fact, any good location where discovery would be unlikely or take great time and effort. Closets are particularly effective since once the smell has gotten into his clothing, he will be certain to take it with him wherever he goes. Just think how welcome that will make him! Once the caviar has begun to "ripen", the smell will permeate the entire domicile, making it virtually uninhabitable as well as unsellable.

Let's all join together to make his life a living hell. Hope this helps.

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

As appealing as that image is, that gambit would probably be discovered before it could fully take effect. No, the way to go is to break into his house with a jar of cheap caviar when he is away on one of his "trips". Then you leave a spoonful or two in each of the curtain rods, and in some convenient locations under the bottoms of chairs, sofas, beds, tables, closet shelves, etc. In fact, any good location where discovery would be unlikely or take great time and effort. Closets are particularly effective since once the smell has gotten into his clothing, he will be certain to take it with him wherever he goes. Just think how welcome that will make him! Once the caviar has begun to "ripen", the smell will permeate the entire domicile, making it virtually uninhabitable as well as unsellable.

Let's all join together to make his life a living hell. Hope this helps.

Michael

Now that's just rude ... not to mention unworkable since I live in Salt Lake and we're regularly treated to the joy of "lake stink" from the Great Salt Lake. This loverly phenomenon occurs when the brine shrimp and brine flies die in their millions and then drift down to the thermocline in the lake. Then, when we are gifted with a north wind, the lake gets choppy and "turns over" so that rotten layer of ex brine critters come to the surface and the north wind distrbutes the aroma throughout the valley.

Pretty much what you're talking about. No one in Salt Lake would give it a second thought.

Joe

[Wolfp MkII]

...Dear Joe, you want to give my job to Wolfpee Mk 3.14?

Swell! I've got (Checks pocket) $1.47* to sweeten the deal!

*American...

Can you mail it to the Wolfp MkII for Auxilliary Backup Deputy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread election fund instead?

Send it C/O Boo's Gotta Go, PO Box 777, Backwoods, NC 28728. Every little bit counts, and with your generous contribution, you get your name on a brick that's been laying in my backyard for quite some time.

Remember...Wolfp MkII in 2009!

[Boo Radley]

I think my first encounter with that song was Steeleye Span.

I only have the one Steeleye Span CD and that song isn't on it.

But, oh Boo, remember that tomorrow is a great big fish!

Um... okay... sure.

(Watch it. He's having another flashback)

[Joe Shaw]

Can you mail it to the Wolfp MkII for Auxilliary Backup Deputy Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread election fund instead?

Send it C/O Boo's Gotta Go, PO Box 777, Backwoods, NC 28728. Every little bit counts, and with your generous contribution, you get your name on a brick that's been laying in my backyard for quite some time.

Remember...Wolfp MkII in 2009!

Hey wait a minute pal ... There's no election fund 'cause there ain't no ****ing election. It's an appointed post and guess who's doing the appointing there bubba!

It's a ****ing valuable thing. You just don't give it away for nothing. I've got this thing. And it's ****ing golden. I'm just not giving it up for ****ing nothing. I'm not going to do it. I can always use it.

Joe