Affentitten Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Perhaps JK can help out with this. Why, whether I am in Sydney, Auckland, Kuala Lumpur or wherever, does hotel conference room coffee always taste the same? It always has that slightly 'wrong' taste to it. Just a bit too thin and just not like coffee you find in any other venue. For lack of a better scpaegoat, I would like to blame the Danes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave H Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Finally someone exhibits the intestinal fortitude to ask the question on everyone's lips. Forget trivia like "Will I lose my job?" or "Is global warming real?" or "Is there a God?" or even "What idiot picked Keanu Reeves to star in the remake of 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'?" Now we're addressing the burning question of the age. Luckily I hate coffee so it doesn't matter. Keep up the good work you Danes! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GJK Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 It's the liberal "tree huggers" fault. The coffee itself is ok, it's the cups that all the hotel chains are using now. They're "environmentally friendly" so that the planet Earth, which withstands hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, earthquakes, tidal waves and more won't be destroyed by us throwing paper cups out the window (yes, stolen from a George Carlin bit). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 I won't care as long as I get to throw my empty beer cans off the stern of the yacht. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REVS Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Well my boy, I came across a possible answer last night. The Americans. A good friend of mine, Brit born and raised, resident here a good many years, had the opportunity to travel to the US earlier this year to participate in a very pleasant couple of months or so on the road, travelling all over that fine, beautiful country full of friendly folk. And wherever he went the coffee was not merely crap, it was dishwater. Thin, tasteless, bland, nigh-on undrinkable brown water. I know he likes a good espresso from a real coffee machine, and that was the major agony of his holiday. No good coffee. Nowhere. Not anywhere. Not for thousands of miles. And so, taking us back to your topic at hand... international coffee standards are slowly drifting towards an unfortunate average of all the coffee drinkers out there in international traveller-land. And with a population of 300 or so million folk, and a representative proportion of them out there in the airports and hotels and conference rooms of this world saying "eeeuuuwww, I actually tasted something then", our beloved American friends are directly responsible for the decline of coffee quality world wide. Compared with minor sideshows such as credit crises and financial collapses, our American friends really do have something to apologise for this time. I can live with greed, incompetent financial management and economic ideology gone wild, but I simply cannot abide an international conspiracy to reduce coffee to brown water. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Affentitten Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Perhaps you're right. They were also the nation that gave us Starbucks and clamoured around like it was proper coffee and that drenching it in pistachio sauce was somehow valid. Anyway, I have heard similar criticisms from fellow Australians who have travelled in the good old USA. They also got coffee withdrawal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John D Salt Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Finally someone exhibits the intestinal fortitude to ask the question on everyone's lips. Forget trivia like "Will I lose my job?" or "Is global warming real?" or "Is there a God?" or even "What idiot picked Keanu Reeves to star in the remake of 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'?" Now we're addressing the burning question of the age. Luckily I hate coffee so it doesn't matter. Keep up the good work you Danes! You coffee illuminati don't fool me for a minute. This is just an exercise in misdirection, to try to cover up the REAL conspiracy, which is what has prevented travellers in America getting a decent cup of tea ever since 1773. The conspirators even tried to pass the blame on to Native Americans, dammit. All the best, John. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Perhaps JK can help out with this. Why, whether I am in Sydney, Auckland, Kuala Lumpur or wherever, does hotel conference room coffee always taste the same? It always has that slightly 'wrong' taste to it. Just a bit too thin and just not like coffee you find in any other venue. For lack of a better scpaegoat, I would like to blame the Danes. Put bourbon in it, and it won't bother you so much. Repeat as necessary. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Viljuri Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Is it because tea and "crickets" don't go well together with coffee, which is mostly a Scandinavian-Teuton-French-American treat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Affentitten Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Is it because tea and "crickets" don't go well together with coffee, which is mostly a Scandinavian-Teuton-French-American treat? Well the Italians, Turks, Ethiopians etc may disagree with you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Don't blame the Danes, blame the Chinese. In their quest to speedily kill everyone - yes, EVERYONE (even themselves) - the Chinese sell only the "best" melamine-coated, lead-lined, coffee brewers/canisters that $10 can buy. Hotels and the like can't pass up such a great deal and it's the unsuspecting, coffee-drinking masses who pay the price. *sips a Timmy's large double-double* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jev.Dk Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 As a dane I can let you in on the secret as long as it stays on this forum. Yes. We control the worlds hotel coffee, and the reason as to why its crappy is that we want you to seek out the nearest bar and wash down the awful taste with a Tuborg. See its quite simple 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonS Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 I work within 300m of at least six boutique coffee roasteries (and three boutique bakeries). Life is good. The astonishing thing, though, is that I also work within 500m of three Starbucks. With an overwhelming abundance of great coffee, some folks still think that S-B's bland, impersonal coffee and cafes somehow have something to offer. And every time I go to a conference, presentation, etc ... thin, weak, tasteless pap masquerading as coffee. This conspiracy is as evil as it is global in it's nature. Fecking Danes. I usually drink the tea now, in hotels and conferences. There's usually an interestesting selection of different flavours, and I can make it as strong as I like. Stop the madness, so "NO!" to bad coffee. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 The Japanese have the tea ceremony, the proper reverence to the beverage being displayed with the ancient rites of preparation (and a nubile, personable tea lady doesn't hurt any). Perhaps someone from this forum could choreograph and stage the world premiere of the Coffee Ceremony and raise the stakes a little, ejucate the peepul sort of fing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Other Means Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Tuborg? God, you people know how to hate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 This is just an exercise in misdirection, to try to cover up the REAL conspiracy, which is what has prevented travellers in America getting a decent cup of tea ever since 1773. I reserve the right to take exception to that. So far, every cup of tea I've had that was made by an Englishman has been a dreadful, undrinkable brew that I would feel reluctant even to toss on the potted palm in the corner. (After all, what has it ever done to me?) Maybe when it came to brewing tea, these particular individuals were simply thick-headed idjits who could barely make out which end one should grasp the teaspoon by, so I don't want to generalize to all British tea drinkers...yet. But believe me, your reputation is seriously in doubt at this point. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 (and three boutique bakeries) A typo on their home page and of their own name, yet. Tsk. Someone should let them know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Affentitten Posted December 12, 2008 Author Share Posted December 12, 2008 Perhaps someone from this forum could choreograph and stage the world premiere of the Coffee Ceremony and raise the stakes a little, ejucate the peepul sort of fing. Having attended more than a few Ethiopian coffee cermonies I can tell you it's a good brew! Particularly when the beans are prepared from scratch (ie. green) right there in front of you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John D Salt Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 I reserve the right to take exception to that. So far, every cup of tea I've had that was made by an Englishman has been a dreadful, undrinkable brew that I would feel reluctant even to toss on the potted palm in the corner. (After all, what has it ever done to me?) Maybe when it came to brewing tea, these particular individuals were simply thick-headed idjits who could barely make out which end one should grasp the teaspoon by, so I don't want to generalize to all British tea drinkers...yet. But believe me, your reputation is seriously in doubt at this point. What tea was the man using? Were you in a hard water area? Was the teapot a brown betty, or something else? Did he put milk in it? Had he ever been in the Army? Was he from Yorkshire? Any of these factors may have been decisive. All the best, John. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wicky Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Just to add - was the pot warmed up? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackhorse Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 A typo on their home page and of their own name, yet. Tsk. Someone should let them know. How on earth have they missed that one? It's not like the typo is buried somewhere in line fifteen of the fifth paragraph. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John D Salt Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 How on earth have they missed that one? It's not like the typo is buried somewhere in line fifteen of the fifth paragraph. I suspect that this is a special festive typo, to celebrate Christmas. All the best, John. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John D Salt Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Just to add - was the pot warmed up? Another vital factor. If all the previous questions check out OK, then there is only one possible answer; the man was a Communist. Communists can never make a proper cup of tea. They believe that proper tea is theft. All the best, John. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASL Veteran Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Another vital factor. If all the previous questions check out OK, then there is only one possible answer; the man was a Communist. Communists can never make a proper cup of tea. They believe that proper tea is theft. All the best, John. No way a Commie can make tea. As General Ripper (Dr Strangelove for the reference impaired )noted 'On no account will a commie drink water. Vodka. That's what they drink." or something to that effect. No doubt the reason for the poor tasting coffee or tea has to do with the commie conspiracy of introducing flouridation to everything we eat and drink. That all started sometime in 1948 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Affentitten sez Having attended more than a few Ethiopian coffee cermonies I can tell you it's a good brew! Particularly when the beans are prepared from scratch (ie. green) right there in front of you. Thanks Aff - I maintain that Australia makes a pretty good coffee. so do the Brits. The best tea I've had o'seas was in Bordeaux. The Ethiopian Coffee Set - now I know what christmas present to buy with the money from Santa Rudd. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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