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Peng Challenges Seanachai Squarely In The Fork


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Mad Matt, Beyond Palindrome ...

I've returned from Oklahoma, after United Airlines say fit to cancel my flight home and grant me a suptuous suite at the Denver Crystal Inn.

But I'm home.

Joe

Free booze too, by the looks of the typos.

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Typing grog ... I had a rough day and you make fun of a couple of typos arising out of sleep deprivation ... what kind of monster are you?

Joe

(Waves hand wildly)

Ooooh! Ooooh!

I know this one!

The kind that starts out like a clown, but then becomes even creepier and slime starts running out of it's pant legs!!!

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Typing grog ... I had a rough day and you make fun of a couple of typos arising out of sleep deprivation ... what kind of monster are you?

Joe

My gawd. Joe is channelling John Kettler !

What startling, earth shattering even, revelations will spring forth from this union ?

Noba.

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My gawd. Joe is channelling John Kettler !

What startling, earth shattering even, revelations will spring forth from this union ?

Noba.

Now I freely admit that I haven't paid as much attention to John's postings as I perhaps should have but ... what the hell are you on about?

Isn't there a pet funnel web spider that needs poking with a stick or a platypus that needs you to groom his hind legs?

Joe

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Isn't there a pet funnel web spider that needs poking with a stick or a platypus that needs you to groom his hind legs?

Now let's be fair to our Antipodean hangers-on. I had a couple of navel oranges the other day that were from Australia and were very good. Not excellent, mind you, but still very good. I now believe that Noba and his ilk could still attain gainful employment by guarding the orange groves and protecting them from kangaroos and orange poachers (although why anyone would want to poach an orange is beyond me; they are much better squeezed for instance; but who can account for the Ozzies, eh?). Much better than sending them a remittance while they do nothing but lie around on the beach drinking cheap Ozzie beer and getting sand between their toes, eh?

Michael

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Now let's be fair to our Antipodean hangers-on. I had a couple of navel oranges the other day that were from Australia and were very good. Not excellent, mind you, but still very good. I now believe that Noba and his ilk could still attain gainful employment by guarding the orange groves and protecting them from kangaroos and orange poachers (although why anyone would want to poach an orange is beyond me; they are much better squeezed for instance; but who can account for the Ozzies, eh?). Much better than sending them a remittance while they do nothing but lie around on the beach drinking cheap Ozzie beer and getting sand between their toes, eh?

Michael

You may have a point Michael, if ever there was a born orange poacher it would be Noba ... not that he'd be any good at it mind but if it's in the blood it's in the blood and there's nothing he can do about it but poach oranges.

You know what they say ... "How many oranges could an orange poacher poach if an orange poacher was as bad at it as Noba is." ... I'm pretty sure that's the way it goes.

joe

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You may have a point Michael, if ever there was a born orange poacher it would be Noba ... not that he'd be any good at it mind but if it's in the blood it's in the blood and there's nothing he can do about it but poach oranges.

You know what they say ... "How many oranges could an orange poacher poach if an orange poacher was as bad at it as Noba is." ... I'm pretty sure that's the way it goes.

joe

I think you are thinking of "I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son..." or somfink.

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What I great idea I just had.....plug in "Orange Poacher" for "Jolly Swagman" and then sing

"Walzn' Matilda"....it's quite catchy. I have one problem though...would an orange poacher sit beside a bilabong?

Likely not, though he could well be SMOKING a bong.

Joe

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I have one problem though...

Only one? Gee, I must have counted at least several dozen over the years.

...would an orange poacher sit beside a bilabong?

Certainly. That is, if there were any bilabongs left to sit next to. I understand that they have all been filled in and turned into orange groves.

BTW, there is no Santa Claus.

Michael

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Litre bird, litre bird,

In the cinnamon tree,

Litre bird, litre bird,

Do you sing for me?

Do you bring me word

Of one I know?

Litre bird, litre bird,

I love her so,

Litre bird, litre bird,

I have to know

Litre bird, litre bird.

Beneath this tree,

This cinnamon tree,

We learned to love,

We learned to cry;

For here we met

And here we kissed,

And here one cold and moonless night

We said goodbye

Litre bird, litre bird,

Oh have pity on me

Bring her back to me now

'Neath the cinnamon tree,

I have waited too long

Without a song.

Litre bird, litre bird,

Please fly, please go

litre bird, litre bird,

And tell her so.

Litre bird, litre bird.

Litre bird, litre bird.

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Now I freely admit that I haven't paid as much attention to John's postings as I perhaps should have but ... what the hell are you on about?

Isn't there a pet funnel web spider that needs poking with a stick or a platypus that needs you to groom his hind legs?

Joe

Well Joe, it goes like this...

Your grasp of "where things fit" is way out of whack. A typical ignorant

American. Oh, you can claim to be otherwise, but you know, the rest of

the world is onto your little con-job. You see, we know that you don't know where any other countries are on a globe. Heck, most of you 'mericans still think the world is flat. (Thankfully it isn't. That puts a great sufficiency of dirt between us).

So you see, funnel web spiders are over 3,000 kilometres from here, as are platypusses.* (That's a very, very, very long way, in your terms).

As for the oranges. Yep, you got it wrong again. We import our oranges from California, or Israel, or anywhere in fact. Ever since those T' Othersiders drained the Murray they've got no water to grow fruit... sad I know, but manure happens - especially over there.

As for the billabongs. Gone. Desertified. Dried-up even. (See the bit about the once Mighty Murray above...)

Anyway, now that you've gained a tiny insight into this great world around you just go back to sucking the 'merican people and the economy dry, and screwing the rest of the world while you're at it. At least you're good at something.

As for Kettler. You both live in a fantasy land.

Noba.

* Platypi ?

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