Leeo Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 IF I WERE A GROG-MAN "Dear God, you made many, many ignorant people. I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be ignorant. But it's no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had been a Grog?" If I were a grog-man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd 'splody, dodle doh. If I were a groggly man. I wouldn't have to dream stuff. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy grog, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. I'd post a "great big fact" that couldn't be refuted, Right in the middle of the page. With truth and figures designed to prove I know. There would be millimeters, kilometers, and facts by the dozen, and some made exclusively for show. I'd fill my post with means and standard deviations, All for the group to see and hear. And each loud "No" and "What?" and "Why?" and "agreement" Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say "Here lives a groggly man." If I were a grog-man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd 'splody, dodle doh. If I were a groggly man. I wouldn't have to dream stuff. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy grog, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. I see my tanks, my halftracks, scooting 'cross the landscape, moving in a perfect formation. Sheding shot with impunity. I see them spitting tungsten and regardless of their glacis Oy, what a happy mood they're in. Killing all the armor that's in sight. The most important men in all computer gaming, They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wise. "Model these, Reb Leeo..." "Are these Right, Reb Leeo..." Posing problems that would cross a general's eyes! And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong. When you're a grog, they think you really know! If I were a grog, I'd have the facts that I lack To turn on the computer and play. And maybe have a chance to beat them all. And I'd discuss the history books with the learned men, several hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all. If I were a grog-man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd 'splody, dodle doh. If I were a groggly man. I wouldn't have to dream stuff. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy grog, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. Alright you bastiges, send me a turn, or I'll post additional drivel! You've been warned! [ February 09, 2002, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 I hope you realise there is only one outcome here...the padlock! HI MOM Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrene Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 That song is kind of catchy... Can't wait for the "P-Diddy" cover, featuring Jimmy Page! Gyrene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted February 9, 2002 Author Share Posted February 9, 2002 "Thank hyou, Thank hyou very much!" Well, I've not yet gotten a padlock. I'm a sucker for new experiences. You mean this isn't amateur "Rip-off-a-poet" (or "songwriter") night? What if I changed it to: "If I Were a PzKwIV-70?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 to the tune of lover please by clyde mcphatter: Arty please, please track Don't miss the inf comin' on the attack Don't, please don't, don't leave me Don't leave me in misery You would never miss me so near You would never hit the heer Dontcha know I'd die without you? Now you're gone, what'll I do? CHORUS Instrumental interlude All those stories, not too long About arty that went all wrong The shells left the gun just as bad Now it's gone, i'm so sad CHORUS You would never miss me so near You would never hit the heer Dontcha know I'd die without you? Now you're gone, what'll I do? CHORUS FADES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 Canadian infantrymen also sing a take off of that Fiddler on the Roof song, called "If I Were A Colonel"... Wish I knew the words. I'd never hump a Gustav, or a rifle and I'd never dig a hole... Or somefink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 And in loving memory of the Troggs... Grog thang (bomp-bomp, bomp-bomp-bop, bomp-bomp), You make my head rang (b-b,b-b-b,b-, You make everythang... not easy, Grog thang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 Sing on in the general forum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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