JerseyJohn Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 "We, the member nations of the League of Electronic Entities, do hearby state that the defendant, Hubert Cater, through his Godlike tampering with geography, is to be held answerable for the following damages: "Item One: Ports, or lack thereof. "-- That in failing to allot a Port to Dublin, he has denied the Irish their traditional birthright of mass migration to New York and Boston and, as a result, the surplus virtual population has been dropping, lemming-like, into the Irish Sea. "-- That, by failing to allot a port to Lisbon, he has put the Portuguese Dory Fishermen out of business and caused the price of codfist to skyrocket! "-- That, once again, by his failure to properly represent a port, this time to Copenhagen, he has crippled the Danish sardine trade, providing the Norwegians with a monopoly and causing the price of mustard to plumet as the Danes now have no need for said stockpiled item. Left without a job, neighboring nations -- okay, Germany -- have lodged complaints of hungry Danes wandering the countryside singing, "I'm Hans Christian Anderson, That's Me!" annoying the hell out of the local citizenry with their terrible stories. "Item Two: North America "-- That he has knowingly and without regret separated the United States and Canada with the Atlantic Ocean, causing great distress to American deer hunters and fishermen and ruining the already fragile Canadian economy. "-- That he has, without regard to the listening audience, moved the United States too close to England and Ireland, causing their listening audience to suffer through extremely boring British Radio Broadcasts. "-- That, in his haste to draw the two continents closer together, he has misplaced Iceland, Greenland, Mexico and the entire Caribean. "Item Three: Weather. "-- That he has lowered the average temperature of Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia by appromimately 80 degrees C., causing great distress among said populations who have become disoriented without their accustomed inhuman winters. Unable to freeze solid, they are also unable thaw in the spring. We hold Mr. Cater directly responsible for the resultant drastic reduction of Vodka Sales in these countries. "Item Four: North Africa "That in cramming the populations of Libya and Eyypt into an alternately single and double hex region along the southern Mediterannean coast, he has turned what was once a free rangeing nomadic population into an overpopulated mass clinging to the beaches, much like the unhappy population of New Jersey. Further, he has misplaced the Nile River and left King Faruk without a proper place to debauch. This Session of the League stands adjourned." [ December 16, 2003, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les the Sarge 9-1 Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 Burn him Burn HIM! The man is guilty guilty I say!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Now, Les, this is a fair and open court. Let's let him testify before we execute him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xwormwood Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Les the Sarge 9-1, formerly known as the WITCH-SMELLER in Black Adder ("...BLOODY MILK!!!..."). @JJ: You are so right, i feel already sick because of these damned Danes, too. If they could at least stop singing this nerve-killing "Spam, Spam, Spam"-Song... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Ah, xwormwood, We must all do what we do best. Pity the poor Danes, that the once feared Ostrogoths have come to such sad times, singing pitiful songs and telling depressing tales of Spam-Spam-Spam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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