HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Tut, Tut, Tut, Elvis and Joe.

"Time to post, time to return files"<hr></blockquote>

To everything, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn, turn,

And a time for every Tiger under the gun.

Thank ya, thank ya very much.

Joe

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Lawyer:

and even the faux Arab Goanna all have a Date with Death at the Hands of the Law<hr></blockquote>

I will definitely be your huckleberry when you find room on your dance card, bayeetch. It will certainly be cathartic for me to take out years of abuse by various legal systems on one so richly deserving as yourself.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> . . . can rip through stralians like semi-digested habanero peppers through a virgin<hr></blockquote>

Methinks that Peng has once again proven himself to be the poster-child for the attention span disorder society. A card carrying asterisk bearer I may be, but that was but an anomaly in what has otherwise been a nightmare of taunts, horror flicks and mea culpa's on your part. Shall I remind you of "South of Sword"; or your last stillborn assault on the forces of scalynes, or have the shudders already begun? Here's hoping that Santa replaces your worn out dummy-pipe this week.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> bauhaus:

I made the mistake of letting an Ozzie goof stay at my house once.....still fumigating<hr></blockquote>

Sure, take credit for hosting, if by hosting you mean directing me to huddle in a cold dank celler with a few rags to clutch after being poisoned and subjected to the abhorrent behaviour of the fruit of your loins. However, counselling is going quite well and I should be prepared for further visiting in a year or so.

{rubs nipples} Ahhhhhh. . . and, what's your point exactly?

Let me get this straight. bauhaus has never beaten Berli who is Seanachai's bunny, but bauhaus treats Seanchai like the proverbial red-headed step child. Sounds like a menage-o-trois of ineptitude to me.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>OGNeedISayWhoSF:

Tha's reeght, ye snot encrusted cardigan wearin' foot stool, ye've already bin beaten bah an Aussie, at least twice. <hr></blockquote>

As have you, ya kilt wearing sad excuse for a celtic bag of English protoplasm. That's right, I called you English. What are you prepared to do about it?

BTW, nice work Panzer Leader (unbolded to show disdain). A mere 7 posts after the matter was settled, you go an prove yourself the microcephalic we all suspected as well as turning the MBT into kiddie help line. You bring honour to us all - PILLOCK!

Turns for all on the morrow as I had a bit of a brain cramp myself in fleeing the office last night and managed to leave the disk containing incoming rounds here. All the better though since now you will be able to feat on the hate the ÜberLizard has delivered you while bloating yourself on the spoils of the fat bastard in the red suit like the capitalist swine you all are.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

I can't hold my tongue any longer...MrSpanker is an idiot..a moron...a numbskull..a mook...a chooch..a hammerhead..a brainless twit..a coward...I guess you get my point.<hr></blockquote>

You lost, huh?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Let the Games begin!!! Lord General, i have sent you the first turn of the rest of your life.

I am looking forward to your forces impaling themselves on the unbreakable pike of what is my defense.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Late Greetings fellow Scumbags.......

In the Spirit of XCessmas (and before the accursed planetary time differences confuse the issue) I would like to offer the following of my newly acquainted Pengpals a "toast":

JOE - A thin slice of Wry with vinegar???

SEANACHAI - A thick slice of Aussie Damper with Vegemite??

HANNS - I think a piping HOT, juicy MUFFin, dripping with sour cream would do nicely here...

BAUHAUS - A very thin slice of dry rice cracker, burnt to a cinder with no topping whatsoever - just the way you like it, Sire!!

MACE - Hmmm... I think a rough hewn slice of Roggenbrot topped with some of Nana's Shepherds Pie should suffice...

PENG - No less than a whole LOAF of XXXX Special, (my own recipe) made with 4X the recommended amount of Brewer's Yeast would suffice your goodself. It will certainly raise your spirits some...

To everyone else in this rank arena (no pun intended - crap brand anyway), I will take this opportunity wish you a very Merry SOD ORF!!! and a delightfully SPITEFUL New Year. May your arty fairly SHZZZ!!(5.)

{5. shzzz. n. a snarling artillery round, as in No One Smiled on Leyte by Deane Marks.}

AJ-SASSN

[Noba]

See what happens when I go to the beach for some R + R...

Happy-hairy-Hanns has finally sent a file. Well this will be a fun game - playing in the mud is not exactly a good match. But what can you expect from a PeterNZ game. Migraine my arse ! Load up on the Panadol boyo, your time has come.

Berli. You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is. How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ? Oh, sad ! They are due to your misshaped, degenerate body needing support. Well in that case, you have my pity.

I can't remember what JoJo or Loser

said so soddit !

Peng - who cares what he/she said. Inconsequential little git.

Noba.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Aye, she’s a nasty piece of work, that one. Having met her personally, I can tell you that she is a paragon of her species (i.e a harpy).<hr></blockquote>

Look here Scaly Lizard, you have no proof that I am a harpy...but I do have proof for all to see, that you are a bleeding Pommie.

Persephone

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:

Look here Scaly Lizard, you have no proof that I am a harpy...but I do have proof for all to see, that you are a bleeding Pommie.

Persephone

<hr></blockquote>

Ha!! Good one Patch!! Note tho' that yon "Royals" are in fact watching a flypast of the mighty RAAF F111's..... WHOOO.O..O...SH!!!!

AJ - ASSN.

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

Yip! YIP! arf arf arf grrrrr.

Peng - who cares what he/she said. Inconsequential little git.

Noba.

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Noba ]<hr></blockquote>

Yes, that's me. MrInconsequentialPeng.

I am so unrelentingly idiotic that I forgot I was posting to the "Look at me, I'm Noba and I'm really cool!" thread. [tugs forlock]My humblest apologies, MrNoba, sir.[/tugs forelock] for forgetting my station.

Please note the NAME of the thread before you start slapping at the keyboard with your wrists again. If it wasn't for me, there wouldn't be a MBT you drooling, antipodean, sonofawombat's body louse. Pack up your PC or IMac or whatever the hell you "use" and send it back to the manufacturer. You are too effing stupid to own it. If I were of "no consequence," you complete sodding moron, would there be a "Peng Challenge Thread?" OF COURSE NOT.

Oh sure, you have made enough people sick, angry and confused to have your own unlimited series of threads named after you, right?

Oh that's riiiggghhht, YOU DON'T have your own thread named after you! Jeepers, that's a shame, since well, golly, if I'm "Inconsequential," that must make you, well, hell, what is of smaller consequence than the "Inconsequential?" hmmm, lesseee, must be "NOTHING!" No Baaaaa! (that's your cue, Macey.)

Glad we had the chance to sort all that out. Now, here's $3.49, go buy some drain cleaner and drink it. Idiot.

Peng

edited to add more insults

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[BFCElvis]

Dear Stuka,

The last file received from you was 12/20 743am (local) and the last one sent to you was 12/20 1023am (local). I shall resend because you are a known wanker. MrSpanker is just a jellyhead.

Love,

Elvis

[Andreas]

Girraway Joe, and stop being nice, alright. The reason I don't come to visit here more often is that the amount of vitriol needed to sustain a presence here that is worth having needs time to build itself up. I hate the all clubby atmosphere, and personally would advocate machine-gunning the kneecaps of the lot of you, if only I could find the energy to do so.

So there.

Oh yes, and in case you have not noticed, I just finished reading 'Quartered safe out here' and it is a grand book, awreet. Get it and read it. MacDonald Fraser certainly knows what to do with the Hun and the Jap. Made me laugh. Good man, I am impressed.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Dear Stuka,

The last file received from you was 12/20 743am (local) and the last one sent to you was 12/20 1023am (local). I shall resend because you are a known wanker. MrSpanker is just a jellyhead.

Love,

Elvis<hr></blockquote>What was the file number, that might help him ... it's also shorter than having to spell out date and time ... but then you know that.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Andreas ceased creating unbalanced scenarios long enough to admit: Oh yes, and in case you have not noticed, I just finished reading 'Quartered safe out here' and it is a grand book, awreet. Get it and read it. MacDonald Fraser certainly knows what to do with the Hun and the Jap. Made me laugh. Good man, I am impressed.<hr></blockquote> Fraser is absolutely the best. The Flashman series is, of course, his best known but don't overlook the "McAuslan" series of short stories. It's roughly based upon his service in North Africa with a Highland Regiment and is GREAT. AND he does a Scot accent better than OGSF.

Now go back to your maps and OOBs and ... stuff.

Joe

[CMplayer]

Some fellow I'm playing claims to have been a denizen of this thread... a guy called Hofbauer. He's whupping me so it hurts too. Does the name ring a bell? Is he really an awol peng-floozy or is he just pulling my leg?

Oh and Hannsel you numbskull send a turn. BTW you're losing. Not that it matters, of course.

And Pampers Needer you scumnull, send a turn too, wouldya. I'd like to get your evisceration over with before Easter, thx.

now merry x-mas to you all, you pack of freaks.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Some fellow I'm playing claims to have been a denizen of this thread... a guy called Hofbauer. He's whupping me so it hurts too. Does the name ring a bell? Is he really an awol peng-floozy or is he just pulling my leg?

Oh and Hannsel you numbskull send a turn. BTW you're losing. Not that it matters, of course.

And Pampers Needer you scumnull, send a turn too, wouldya. I'd like to get your evisceration over with before Easter, thx.

now merry x-mas to you all, you pack of freaks.<hr></blockquote>Nah, if he DID show up here he sure didn't last too long but I don't recall him. I DO think it's a mark of our superiority that we now have CessPool wannabees out there.

Btw, if you ever have a question about the Old Guard (i.e. before Lorak had to leave) you can check at:

Lorak's CessPool Page

Joe

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

This is sort of a game update. Maybe you gentlemen could help me out here. I’m currently playing Croda and want to know how best to really get him. I have my shermans grouped in 4 sets of 3 and they are in a wedgie formation. I have approx 30+ Zooks doing a chorus line rendition of “I’m just wild about Pawbroon. I’m leaving both of my Pershings back with a company of American Airborne. Here is my plan: I want to put all of my arty assets in one building and then surround the building with jeeps. Of course, the jeeps will have snipers in them for protection. I’ll take the remaining four companies of infantry and flank his main body while penetrating his rear echelon repeatedly. There is no flag and we only have 12 turns, so I have to do a quickie on him. I’ll then pimp slap his reserve and attrit his man-hoover. I will then do my coop de grace by packing an entire battalion into one building ala volkswagonesque stuff.

So, here is my question. What should I get my cats this Christmas?

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

AND he does a Scot accent better than OGSF.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Whereas ye ha' go' tha mealy mouthed backslidin' challenge dodgin' ponce doon pat, an' ye?

Af'n mah wee span'l cam aintae mah hoose wi tha leeks o' yoo ain at's soft and gentle mooth Jimmy, Ah'd call at tae mae from tha other seed o' tha slidin' glass door. After tha impact o' ats Joe Lance mae boils an' Ah'll gi' ye tuppence Shaw laden gob agin tha glass ha jammed ats loathsome load doon ats flegm slicked throoat, Ah'd mak mae a nice cup o' tea an' dram an' set mae doon tae warrm mahsailf bah tha roarin' candle tae wait. But noo afore Ah'd duct taped a plastic zip-lock luncheon bag o'er mah wee span'ls arrrse.

Whain ye were expailled aintae tha bag bah tha inevitable series o' violent an' moist span'l poots followin' ye rancid digestion ain ats guts, Ah'd zip tha zip-lock part o' tha luncheon bag and detach tha bag o' Joe Di ye wannae a boiled sweety? Shaw wi' a quick flick o' mah manly wrist. Ah'd thain clip tha span'l fur awah fraim tha duct tape an' save at ain tha oold cigar box fer Shawnakeye trophies.

As fer tha bag o' yoo, Jimmy - ye'd bae tied tae a kite string an' tethered tae tha tail o' mah neighbour's stankin' ginger cat. Ah'd thain ralease mah bum sore span'l after tha wretched beast tae chase at awah ain tha dareection o' the 27 million volt poower lines marchin' doon tha center o' Glen MacOGSF. Meanwhile Ah'd bae sellin' tickets tae tha local's tae come an' watch fer tha blue/green flash o'tha poot bag o' Joe Scratch an' sniff Shaw as at hit's tha poower lines, an' tha black puff o' smoke curlin' oop fraim where tha neighbour's moggy used tae bae.

Pillock.

Speakin' o' pillocks, Speedy ye pillock, ha ye noo sorted oot ye email yet mon? Pillock.

An' Goanna, ye road kill fodder, ye've crossed a leen wi' ye filthy "English" comment. An' ye knoo at. At saims ye've fergotten aboot tha birch thrashin' ye received ain tha second gam we played, an' blown ye accidental firrrst gam win o'er mah brave laddies ain tha bocage death trap aintae some mythological triumph o' tha ancient Goanna clan. Ain ye ain meend ainly, meend ye. Ah'll bae sendin' ye a come-uppence Jimmy. Ye kin commaince ye tremblin' at ye leisure.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Whereas ye ha' go' tha mealy mouthed backslidin' challenge dodgin' ponce doon pat, an' ye?<hr></blockquote> I told you MrSpkr, you'll have tough sledding tying to get anything comprehensible out of this one. May I suggest that you DON'T try to make him mad. Not that it's not amusing as hell, but we do need to get the game going eventually and with his gobbling and red faced, spittle flecked, hand clenched sporran waving rage it would likely take forever ... besides, being Scottish he has no honor so won't understand the finer points of the Code Duello.

MrSpkr: Very well Sir OGSF I presume you've consulted with your principal, what suggestions for the game do you have?

OGSF: Ooch lad, we'll jist have the Lawyer to squat 'neath a wee boulder 'n joomp oot and coot Soor Joe's legs oot froom unnder 'im!

MrSpkr: Yes ... yes, quite so Sir OGSF however, allow me to check ... {a ruffling of pages} ... ah a pity, but the most recent Code Duello HAS disallowed THAT particular tactic, pity. Here you can read it yourself.

OGSF: Ah weel, uh that is lad, ya see ... I'll uh ... be takin' yer wurd fer it.

MrSpkr: Ah yes, quite reasonable of you, perhaps I might suggest an alternative emplacement strategy that you and your principal might find more accomodating to our mutual goal of enabling the commencment of a game?

OGSF: ... tha'd bee a gud theng then wood it?

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

Berli. You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is. How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ?<hr></blockquote>

Ok, here we have proof that Ozzies aren't the brightest bulbs in the genetic chandelier.

uno) You couldn't take up a collection in church full of Bill Gate-is...

No screamin' eagle ****e! Who the Hell could? Church full of Bill Gateses, sheesh... what a nong.

primus) How are we expected to take someone who plays with bras seriously ?

How else do you get to the treat inside? I'm not sure I trust anyone that doesn't play with bras.

[Lars]

Oh dear God, what was I drinking last night?

Uzo? Chianti? Sambuca? Hacker Pschorr Alt? Apfelkorn? Guinness? Purple Hooters?

What’s that?

All of them?

Yeesh, time for a Bloody Mary.

P.S. You all remind me of something I found in the woods steaming under the south end of a northbound moose. Merry feckin Christmas to the gamey lot of ya.

{edited for the Uber one's sake, twice, dammit}

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Andreas]

It is Hacker Pschorr and Apfelkorn, you bloody twat. I feel compelled to fill you with a dose of Uzi, 9°.

Jesus Christ in a barn.

[Stuka]

What the feck's an 'Uzi 9 degrees'?

A machine pistol out and about on a brisk morning stroll?

Knock, knock: "Who's there?"

"Uzi"

"Uzi who?"

"Uzi 9 millemetre!"

Muahahahha hah aha aaaaa!

Ahhh Sod Off, you had to be there.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andreas:

It is Hacker Pschorr and Apfelkorn, you bloody twat. I feel compelled to fill you with a dose of Uzi, 9°.

Jesus Christ in a barn.<hr></blockquote>

You think I feel good enough to check spelling?

Pillock.

[BFCElvis]

Dear Mr. Shaw,

It was much more convenient for me to type out the time and dates of the last emails sent then it would be for me to mess with a PBEM cluttered with turn files. Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.

Love,

Elvis

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.

<hr></blockquote>

Well, except for the fact that you are getting your arse kicked in one of those files by your very favorite guy to hate; <big>ME!</big>

If you lose much more metal, I'll soon have to worry about arrows smeared with frog exudings and GI feces.

I hate you lots!

Slaps and punches,

Leeo

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Dear Mr. Shaw,

It was much more convenient for me to type out the time and dates of the last emails sent then it would be for me to mess with a PBEM cluttered with turn files. Since my computer crash I have continued with two games that were being played before the crash (it would be 3 if the very efficient, turn numbering, PBEM nonhelper user MrSpanker hadn't forgotten his password...which is another issue I will go on about some other time) and in my PBEM folder I currently have 2 files.........nothing could be more perfect than that.

Love,

Elvis<hr></blockquote>Oh come on Elvis ... you know you WANT to number turns, yeah you may have sworn off them but deep down inside ... {ElvisNMace001} ... you know that you really WANT, you NEED that rush you get from ... PengVElvis034} ... a really well filled out, hot, sweaty ... {ElvisPlaysEmma067} numbered file, just lying there, trembling, waiting with eager, quick breath for you ... YOU Elvis to make it COMPLETE, to fill in the blanks, to make it MORE than just a File, to make it ... a NUMBERED FILE ... yes, Yes, YES, YEEEsssssss ... {ElvisVElvisXXX}! See Elvis ... it's Waiting for you.

Joe