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HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!


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(with apologies to Major Livingston)

"T'was the night before Peng, and all through the 'Pool

Not a creature was posting, except some young fool.

The Pooler's were gathered all down by the bar

Drinking and gambling and starting to spar.

The Scum Sucking Newbies were nowhere about

Why even the Serfs had all chickened out

Then Dame YK2 sat down in the hall

And began playing cards, taking winnings from all.

Geier and Andreas were both in the house

In front of them Hanns, behind them bauhaus

In the corner was Kitty right next to Fionn

They were torturing Hiram Sedai just for fun.

Alas Lorak was gone to the front for the fight,

To his honor and safety we toasted that night.

Moriarty threw darts at a picture of Meeks

While Croda played hearts with that Goanna geek.

Stuka and Iskander argued over liquor,

Herr Oberst watched shandorf get sicker and sicker

Panzer Leader was talking, though all were ignoring

His advice on defending, they found it quite boring.

When out in the swamp there arose such a clatter,

Peng sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the blinds and threw up on the sash.

The moon on the muck and the grime in the air

Glistened so brightly just like Joe Shaw's hair.

When what to our wandering eyes should appear

But a scum sucking newbie, his eyes wide with fear.

He said, "I am new here, would you guys like a game"

That minute I realized this boy was real lame.

More rapid than Mouse's posts his questions they came,

While he was surrounded by kniggets, here were their names:

"Hey Berli, and Lawyer and Seanachai too!

Hey Pawbroon Hey Leeo! Speedbump, who's behind you?"

All around him they gathered while his knees knocked with fear.

And I could tell he was wondering why he ever came here.

The knights snarled "Here's the Rules, you young little snot!

Sound off like you have a pair even if you do not!

Challenge somebody specific, and try to be funny,

That or just shut up and give us your money."

"Stay away from politics; religion's taboo.

Color and country are out of bounds too.

Thou shalt not sound off ABOUT your small pair

Lest the wrath of the Bald One fall down on our lair"

"Keep in mind, SSN, winning isn't the goal!

Taunting's the thing that we care for, you mole.

No grogginess here, except Simon Fox

The official 'Pool grog, that smelly dumb ox."

"Don't challenge an Olde One or even a Knight

They probably won't waste their time on your fight.

Pick out a newbie, or maybe a Squire

Then shove his face down in the muck and the mire."

"If you entertain us, we might let you stay

But probably not, so please, be on your way.

You see we are picky about whom we despise

Especially Berli, the father of lies."

Mace stood there grimly, smelling of sheep.

The stench was so bad that Lars started to weep.

OGSF lurched toward the lad then I heard

That mad Scotsman shouting "Ye poir dumb bastarrrd!"

The newbie spoke not, but sat down to think.

After fifteen short seconds, he stood and he blinked.

And laying a finger inside of his nose,

He pulled out some green thing he wiped on his toes.

He stared glassy-eyed at the knights all around,

And began to back up, 'til he tripped and fell down.

He had just pulled himself up from the slime and the goo

When Dalem leaned in and whispered softly, "Boo!"

The newbie ran to the door with a shriek and a shout!

He flung it wide open, and then he ran out.

And as his screams in the night grew faint and soft

I yelled "Merry Christmas, you scum! Now you all can SOD OFF!"

[ 12-22-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]</p>

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Has somebody Upset Seanacoochie then?

I can't be bothered scrolling through that last Peng Thread challenge to find out the details, Lets just say <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> "Sod Off Chef" <hr></blockquote> And be done with it.

SSN: But where is your Christmas Spirit YK2?

YK2: Bahhhhhhh Humbug.........

( Sit down Mace I said Humbug not Sheep)


[Edited to Add]

Welcome Home Croda and Hiram :D

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]</p>

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

Geez, Speaker, at least Emma had the wisdom to mention me in this thread.

Hi Emma!<hr></blockquote>

Read verse 4, then realize the only reason your mangy hide is in there is because I can appreciate Crodaburg on some visceral level.

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....huh, where's that Iron Chopper? Surely he hasn't posted AGAIN in the ladies cubicals when we're now in midgets' latrines?

Ooooooh, poetry of a middling sort:

....oooohh, ahhhhhhhh... ahuh.... yep oh, yes, yes.... hmmmmm.... gotcha....yep okaaaaaaay, got the picture.....

Newbie.... anyone 'ere a Newbie? Or a lowly Squirrel, ooops, silly, Squire

Right, no one? Okay.... improvise:

"Yo, Yeknodathon" (steps aside)

"Who hails me?" (steps back)

"It is me, silly ass" (steps again)

"Really, I wouldn't know" (ditto)

"I challenge thee, Newbie scum" (ditto)

"Challenge me? Foresooth, what the 'eck for? (ditto)

"Errrrr.... no matter, take gauntlet in the mush" (ditto)

"Why thanks, Yeknodathon, that wasn't so bad" (ditto)

"No, quite pleasing, really" (ditto)

Ho, hum, la-de-da......


[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

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Right then lads, I've another proposal to be added to the rules, comment appreciated:

{XVi.34/^}: No SSN shall be afforded any consideration until or unless they shall have a legitimate email address and general location in their profile.

The email is obvious, can't very well challenge without one and if they're not here to challenge to hell with 'em.

The general location is critical as well. They might be Australian and we CERTAINLY don't want any more of THAT TYPE!

This proposed addition to the rules can be phrased as wished, but I think it might be helpful in screening the riff-raff and trolls like Donkey-a-thon.


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Hi, it's your friendly neighborhood chef once again and for once here with a relevent question.

Whats your take on IP games? i prefer them to pbm, and with the chat option would leave the game more open to taunts and what not.

Just wondering so i don't waste an e-mail on someone who can't devote a couple hours to a game because it would take time away from their main hobby of arts and crafts.

i'm sure you can cross stich as good as anyone Stuka and good luck with that, we still like you, but for the last time stop asking me to go to Blue Oyster bar with you, i'm not interested.

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB:


Was that some kind of tuant Jeffy? I've had better from bloody SS Hamsters! You need a major lessen on SSN trashing!<hr></blockquote>

Jeffy? Did you call me Jeffy? What are you? Some kid of bleedin' fairy? Are you crusin' for some loving? Huh? Well, you are gonna get nothing but kicked to the curb, soldier, so just peddle those wears further down the street.

The nerve of some people...


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Maybe this inarticulate trinity of SSNs can have a jolly good circle wank with each other while ahem... blowing up.. err... inflating their egos. I believe Sandia National Laboratories has discovered a new particle called the "SUP". It is made up of three component particles dubbed "morons" or known by their common names LazyeyedGitMB, Donkeydongathon and lastly and leastly Zinc Oxide Sockeye. Physicists have long debated the existance of "dumb matter" but have only recently verified it's place in the universe by theorizing that "God must have had a really bad hangover that day". The US military has expressed interest in the findings saying that these SUPs could potentially be used as a weapon if air dropped into enemy territory but concerns remain regarding the legality of such a weapon in view of the Geneva Convention. Greenpeace and Earth First! protestors have demanded that these morons be rocketed into space and thence the sun like Superman did with all the nuclear weapons in "Superman ½: The Quest for Spandex that Makes My Package Look Bigger". The Pope has called for the Office of the Doctrine of the Purity of Faith (aka The Inquisition) to investigate claims that the unity of these three morons would result in a nasty infected boil on the arse of the anti-christ, who lives in New Jersey BTW. Further updates will be forthcoming as they spew into existance.


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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yakupafurball:

"I challenge thee, Newbie scum"<hr></blockquote>

Your next line should be:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Vanna, I'd like to buy a clue<hr></blockquote>

What part of SINGLE SOMEONE OUT don't you understand? Lord love a duck, but the latest batch of SSNs are none to bright

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MrSpkr I am forced to agree with the rest of the tripe in here - your lyricizing was perfect.

I would taunt and challenge you to a game teh proper way, to show they-who-shall-not-be-mentioned how it's done, but I'll wait until after the New Year, when you're woozy from all the eggnog.

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