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Posted

I wrote this after the maildrone left a padded envelope in my mailbox that wasn't my copy of CM.

With apologies to Bruce Cockburn:

If I Had an M4 Sherman

Here comes that little mail-van -- only time today

I rush out to the mailbox and I hope he makes my day

How long I have been waiting only God can say

If I had an M4 Sherman ... I'd make somebody pay

I don't believe in mail monopolies and I don't believe in fate

And I'm not much of a general as my opponents all can state

But waiting for my copy -- it's just too painful to relate

If I had an M4 Sherman ... I would retaliate

On the blasted hills of Plomville only corpses wait

And the church in Chance Encounter I'm leaving to its fate.

Cry out to the mailman, bring that package to my gate

If I had an M4 Sherman ... I would not hesitate

I want to play an operation -- at least I'd like to try

Every time I talk about it, my wife just heaves a sigh

Situation desperate, do you want to see a grown man cry?

If I had an M4 Sherman ... Some son of a bitch would die

If you don't know the tune ("If I had a Rocket Launcher") it's widely available on Napster, and quite catchy, even given the subject matter. I saw him perform it live (original lyrics) a few weeks ago. Bruce rocks!

Although I think he'd be a bit taken aback by my use of his song, lefty and pacifist that he is.

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Ethan

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Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Posted

H.I.,

I am in total agreement with you and with the sentiment...I was giving thought to going up to Aberdeen and "borrowing" the Atomic Cannon they have...but a Sherman would suffice....(Archangel drifts off, envisioning the slow painful death of all those involved in the Priority Mail system....) mad.gif

Posted

LOL Very nice Ethan. While it's not of the (you should excuse the pun) caliber of yours, I worked up a little something based on Mr. Sandman ... which probably says something about our respective ages smile.gif

Mister Postman

Mister Postman, gimme my game

If it ain’t here, it’s you that I’ll blame

You didn’t mail it, that was Steve and Charles

They’re not here, but Postman you sure are.

Mister Postman, they’ve been reimbursed

I ordered mine on December the First

I don’t wanna have to get enflamed,

Mister Postman, gimme my game.

Mister Postman, I’m getting intense

I finished Reisburg and the Last Defense

I’ve blown up Plomville, with my 105’s

More times than Mickey Rooney’s gone through wives.

Mister Postman, Jagdpanzers await

And all those villages to devastate

Don’t make me use a nasty name

Mister Postman, gimme my game.

Joe

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Compliments appreciated, Questions answered, Death Threats reciprocated.

Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BillWoodAgain:

What movie starring that guy from The Rockford Files was it that the character had a Sherman to go ape s**t about town in?

Gosh, old and memory shot.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think it was called "Tank!". And it was a stinker.

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Ethan

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Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

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