iggi Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Top 20 Engineer's Terminologies 1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame. 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit. 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull! 14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely. 15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift! 17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED. 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked. 19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off. 20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olle Petersson Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 LOL! There were some I've never used... My military favourite: "Portable" - 'cause it's got a handle on it. Cheers Olle [This message has been edited by Olle Petersson (edited 10-19-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 LOL!!You know with minor changes all of those plus Olles could be applied to the military procurment system. ------------------ Nicht Schiessen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 21. THE PROJECT IS NOT OVER BUDGET - It just cost more than we thought it would. ------------------ "One lesson I have learned in combat is 'there is no fox hole better than the one you are in'." Staff Sergeant H.F. Muschamp, 133rd Inf., Italy 1943 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor Malan Posted October 21, 2000 Share Posted October 21, 2000 I am just lining up the model to the test results, using our latest empiracle correction = I am just fiddling the model (defininition of lining up factor = that number which when multiplied by the model output produces the test result!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted October 21, 2000 Share Posted October 21, 2000 I hope you don't mean combat engineers, becuase right now I'm depending on these guys to clear the mines off the road for my Sherm platoon. They probably forgot to budget for the satchel charges, argued and lost with the management over whether they were using the optimum type of 30.06 ammo in their M1s, and decided that having the enemy lay mines in the road could just be fixed in software. ------------------ Charon doesn't make change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:USERNAME: Posted October 21, 2000 Share Posted October 21, 2000 EXTREMELY LOW MAINTENANCE: Guy that gives out the RMA numbers just quit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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