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Nice & Courteous PBEM Challenge Thread: Post Here


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I agree it would be nice to have a forum just for when one is looking for a game. I for one would be able to play more if I knew I could just post an invitation for a game and within minutes got a game. Seems like a great idea to me, I wonder why it hasn't already been done?

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

WHAT! You missed the shootdodge experience the first time around?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ack! Thanks for making my day. I haven't seen anything that funny for a while.

What's odd is that the funny bit I am refering to is not shootdodge's remarks, or even Baldy's, but the final post on the thread --

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Maximus said:

You try and you try, but sometimes you just gotta say the hell with it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Coming from Maximus, THAT's quality humor.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

I thankee so kindly for BUMPing this thread Milady; however, I don't think that the Minnesota Miscreant is going to be especially happy to see it remain on the first page. You see, this thread is an experiment started by Sir Seanachump that went horribly wrong. For some time its existence made him the laughing stock of the Cesspool. Whenever he wandered by, people would stand around, point their fingers, and giggle (without even the courtesy of laughing behind their hands). Berli was especially rough on the poor lad. Meeks was a bit nasty as well, but that was par for the course. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole experience didn't result in Seanachai's extended stay in Minnesota's local institute for whacos (Commonly referred to as Minneapolis).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Sigh* Just because Seanacoochiecoo decides to start a nice courteous thread you lot decide to make him suffer, Tst Tst, shame on all of you.

BTW if you are reading this now Sean I for one think it was a great Idea.

If and when I decide to boot up CM then I shall make use of this thread.

And to think JD had the cheek to call ME a TEASE...... I have nothing on you lot, especially Mr Marlow.

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And since you all are hiding from Juardis and R_Leet in here,

PARTY ALERT!

Yes, Dames and Gentlewyrms, it’s time again to celebrate “The Day The World Became A Better Place”.

To wit, my Birthday.

By this time tomorrow I will be as drunk as Iskander and making about as much sense as Pawbroon and OSGF combined. The SS Boating While Intoxicated will be leaving the dock and setting sail upon the surface of Lake Minnetonka loaded beyond the Plimsol Line with a variety of spirits. She is sure to founder under the load but that is O.K. as I intend to return to shore on a raft constructed of empty Champagne bottles and a sail made from bikini tops.

In keeping with the spirit of making the world a better place, none of you are invited. Excepting, of course, my liege Joe Shaw (always have to invite the boss, hopefully he’ll go home early!) and the lovely Ladies YK2 and Kitty (Woo Hoo!, chicks with feathers! hopefully they’re boa’s and they stay late).

Signed,

“Old enough to know Better, Young enough to do it Anyway”

Lars

P.S. If any of my opponents should happen to receive turns this weekend, feel free to act like you’re a underpayed nursing home employee and victimize the elderly.

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Well, in keeping with the spirit of the rest of the exile community, I shall post my kinder and gentler AAR's later this evening, in which I shall find nice things to say about all of my opponents -- even Shandorf.

Well . . . okay, maybe not Shandorf. But certainly for everyone else.

Oh bartender, a fruity frozen drink with a big umbrella in it in honor of Liars birthday.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

and the lovely Ladies YK2 and Kitty (Woo Hoo!, chicks with feathers! hopefully they’re boa’s and they stay late)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Some truly special and wonderful people were born in August (ie Me). You had to go spoil it by being born in the same month as well!

btw, As for our special and beautiful dames being present at your birthday....It's nice to dream, isn't it!

Mace

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Would anyone care to partake in a slice of battle with me. I am fond of PBEM's against opponents of the most gracious and noble sort.

I am especially fond of playing Swedes, and would be most obliged if a Swede would respond and we could set up a game. Or just shoot a set-up to my email.

Thanx!

Hugs and kisses!

Losers

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sancho Panza:

Would anyone care to partake in a slice of battle with me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

waiting for godot

can't have taken longer than

waiting for sancho

while hustling new games

he forgets the gentle swedes

who pant after files

--Rett

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I went into here because I saw that the total number of posts was higher than when last I looked. Sadly, I couldn’t find any new posts, not even one with some lovable battle reports from our friend Mr Spkr.

Bu then I thought: Hey! I could write some Nice and Accurate Battle Reports myself – then everyone will be happy!

Battle with Mark IV: After lots and lots of turns he has taken one minor VL (out of three hundred and fifty two) and is leaving a trail of fine upstanding digital dead young men and burning digital tanks as he presses onward. He has cunningly shed his flank protection (i.e he let me kill it) and is racing straight ahead towards the Promised Open Ground.

Battle with Germanboy: Yes we know he is retired but we managed to finish a WBW game we started 500 years ago anyway. Lorak!: Scribe thusly:

Geier: Glorious, stunning and extraordinary DRAW.

Germanboy: Humiliating, debilitating and terrible terrible DRAW

Now I know that there are draws and then there are draws. This was an Old School real draw, not one of them sissy… ahem (nice and courteous). I collected a crushing total of 50 points whereas po’ Andreas only could scratch together a measly 50 points. Howzat?

Battle with mensch Watch out, he spits! The files have grown obscenely in size lately, mostly due to the fact that one of us got tons of reinforcements. I am doing Terrible Things to him and his troops all over the place but they are so strung up on dried banana peels (or somefink) they don’t seem to notice. Mensch ol’ boy, if you’re reading this:

PANZERSCHRECK!

Hehe, sorry couldn’t resist. You can climb down now, I was only joking.

Operation with Berlichtingen: First battle soon concluded. His recon vehicles did what recon vehicles generally do, they found the enemy. Rather, the enemy found them and they never knew what hit em. I expect to be hit by B-17’s and shells the size of small countries next battle but right now I’m eating cheese, drinking wine … you know. We talk about books too and he is currently enjoying the best portrayal around of himself right now, The Master and Margarita by Bulgakov. He is, after all, a man of wealth and taste, but even the devil listens to recommendations from me.

Battle with Hakko Ichiu: He has tanks. So have I. Kommerscheidt will never look the same when I’m done with it. On hold for an insignificant interval.

Battle with Lars: He’s out drinking. I’ve managed eight turns after he passed out. Looks good.

Battle with The French: I hope he will read this and send me a turn of whatever it is we’ve decided to play and maybe the old battle too I can’t remember what consensus if any we reached on that one hope he reads this.

Battle with Mr Peng: I will have to remind him to RESEND THE LAST TURN HE HAS. Yes, I will just have to remind him I suppose.

I’m sure I’m not playing anyone else, there might be someone so utterly insignificant that I can’t even read his posts but that sounds, on the whole, doubtful.

Toodles,

Johan

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

Battle with Mark IV: After lots and lots of turns he has taken one minor VL (out of three hundred and fifty two) and is leaving a trail of fine upstanding digital dead young men and burning digital tanks as he presses onward. He has cunningly shed his flank protection (i.e he let me kill it) and is racing straight ahead towards the Promised Open Ground.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Errata and Addenda:

This "scenario" features Brits advancing up a bocage-lined road into a fortified village (about 50m from the starting line), allowing the same tactical flexibility afforded to cattle in a slaughterhouse chute.

The starting setup zone is in a corner, just in case you thought you'd practice some manoooooverism in the generous allocation of 30 or so sq/m initial setup area. The alleged "flank protection" in the preceeding pack of lies, distortions, and half-truths were merely squads seeking a place to stand.

They were not "fine upstanding digital dead young men" because they were Brits, and also because it is hard to upstand when you're dead. Their grandfathers oppressed my grandfathers and their grandchildren will have green hair and safety pins in their cheeks.

The survivors, a sullen and angry lot, are now chasing the Swede-led lemmingtruppen toward the nearest neutral country and the "trail" of burning tanks is shrinking, relative to the PUDDLE of scrap metal rapidly developing on the lutefisk side of the map. We cannot tell if the Germans are "upstanding young men", because all we can see are their soiled behinds, but we doubt it, as they let themselves be led into this mess by a member of the genetic cul-de-sac of the Nordic race, and are retreating not-quite-as-quickly as the pursuing .303 tokens of our esteem.

There was also a nice, if graphic, demonstration of why one should not drive a tank up to the front door of an enemy-occupied house unescorted. Q: what does every Brit leg unit carry with it? A: rhymes with "Fiat".

Other than that, I think you summed it up rather nicely.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Errata and Addenda:

I think you summed it up rather nicely.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you Brother Mark for that little story. I think we all can agree that mine was much better and that even if your version carried some truths in it (I was particularly fond of that "genetic cul-de-sac" bit) you are still, Sir, a liar and a cad and we are glad to be given this opportunity to, as they say, rip your head off. My, wasn't that a long sentence.

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What in the...

WHAT ARE YOU LOT DOING IN HERE?!

WHO BROUGHT THIS THING BACK FROM THE DEAD?!

Roight! You worthless lot get back in the Peng Challenge Thread where you belong! This was meant for the Other People, not you wretched lot, and they don't need it any more.

Berli damn near had me in tears over this stinking thread; I had to actually recant before he'd stop being polite to me.

Now, where's the Mad Bald Fella to put this thing down once and for all?

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Roight! You worthless lot get back in the Peng Challenge Thread where you belong! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There is currently no Peng Challenge thread and this is the closest thing we've got. Start a real Peng thread and we'll be all over it like ferrets over something that ferrets is wont to be all over.

And you really should watch your language a bit in here old chap, just a piece of friendly advice. This is, after all, the Nice and Courteous thread. It just wouldn't do to have anyone using harsh language in here. Not at all.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

I went into here because I saw that the total number of posts was higher than when last I looked. Sadly, I couldn't find any new posts, not even one with some lovable battle reports from our friend Mr Spkr.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do apologize, sirrahs, I have been quite busy ghost-writing a socio-political manifesto for Mouse - I think I'll suggest 'Mein Gittishness' as a title. I'm even doing most of the work at no charge -- isn't that nice and courteous of me?

Still, however, here in the nice and courteous PBEM challenge thread, one must live up to one's promises. Therefore, without further ado, here are my kinder and gentler updates:

Lawyer has recently sent over a message under a white flag. It seems he has been in this war for nearly two years now without any holiday or break of any sort; therefore, in the spirit of this thread, I have agreed to a two week truce that he and his men may get a much needed break. I do hope he takes plenty of pictures and video to share when he returns - I do so love to see others' vacation slides!

Berlichtingen's troops continue to advance across large open expanses towards the victory area along a centrally located road surrounded by trees. Although I have had several opportunities to mow down his troops like wheat before a new scythe, I have restrained myself as doing so would be neither nice nor courteous.

Speedbump's troops are well on their way back to the safety of their homes and hearths. It is so unfortunate that so many of them jumped out in front of the warning shots issued by my dastardly Commonwealth forces. Still, I hope the majority of the men he lost are merely stunned or wounded, with little or no permanent damage.

jshandorf had the wisdom and foresight to plop a lone bazooka in front of my reinforcement area (where he knew I would receive four tanks with no accompanying infantry support, mind you) for six turns. His patience has given him the gift of a Panzer Mark IV H. I do so love it when an opponent's self-esteem can be elevated in such a manner, particularly in a case where the self-esteem in question, is, well, challenged.

Poor Wildman and his men can't seem to run fast enough to catch up to my retreating forces. Still, I have left behind lots of cigarettes and ‘splodey things for him to play with, so that might be some compensation.

Aitken appears to be on the verge of breaking his losing streak! Jolly good for him! My lads have run across an open field carrying a keg of ale and a chocolate cake for the subsequent celebration; unfortunately, their intent appears to have been misinterpreted as he continues to shoot at them. Ah well, perhaps a few will make it to his lines and inform him of his mistake -- then we can all get on with the party!

dalem is correct - I have, I admit, been cheating. Before the game started, I outfitted all of my vehicles with monster truck tires to deal with the mud. My men traded in their rifles and machine guns for phasers and disruptors. We don't have any flame-retardant +5 gear; but each of my men made sure to recharge the batteries for his personal force shield. Finally, all the boys have gone through one of Tony Robbins' personal motivation seminars. I am so ashamed of myself. I have tried to stop the fighting, but my men are so motivated I fear it will be impossible. I am so sorry dalem -- I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

leeo's troops and my men are enjoying a game of hide and seek in the rainy, marshy gloom in which we find ourselves. The shouts of 'Boo!', 'I see you!', and 'Arrggh! I'm hit!' appear to be lightening the otherwise dreary mood. It is so refreshing to see two groups of combatants able to lay aside whatever personal differences they may have in order to help lift up their fellow man. It really brings a tear to one's eye.

Out of a sense of remorse for the way my men initially greeted Marlow and his troops, I have allowed him time to regroup and mount a two pronged counterattack against my positions. I do hope this will serve to grant him a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment in what appears to have been an otherwise disastrous performance. Hopefully, with his success, he will be able to avoid any negative reports on his personnel file.

I hope all of you have a warm, happy, sunshiny day.

[edited to avoid any confusing grammatical mistakes - wasn't that courteous of me?]

[ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

What in the...

WHAT ARE YOU LOT DOING IN HERE?!

WHO BROUGHT THIS THING BACK FROM THE DEAD?!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Unlike the depths of the sea, the forum does give up its secrets. You can't hide your past shame from the spotlight of public scrutiny and scorn Seanachai.

As to why? Isn't causing another Pooligan pain and humiliation reason enough? However, there is also the matter of finding a home in the dark times of the heretical pretender to the title of the MBT, where the gullible are being led astray, and posting in a sacrilegious manner. All who post there are placing their eternal soul at risk (do you think it is any coincidence that Berli is posting there? I think recruiting must be low, and he is involved in a covert membership drive). Evidence that it is a false thread is found in the current edginess (real as opposed to good natured) that seems to have permeated the place, and the shear number of gits, SSNs, and other assorted morons that have decided that it looks like a cool place to be.

P.S. Pee El, don't get your panties in a bunch, it isn't about you starting the current false MBT in particular (even if you are just a smelly squire who isn't worth the price of a bullet to put through your thick and well sloped cranium), it really is more about sticking a pointy stick in The Bard's eye.

[ 08-13-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Lorak let it be known throughout the MBT that Marlow, first of that name, is in fact an honourary Australian. It is the only possible explanation for his defeating me, and his gamey use of computer selected, massed assault halftracks.

Final tally:

Marlow- 70

Speedy- 30

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you kind Sir for posting of your noble but futile efforts in the False MBT. I had quite a difficult conundrum. On one hand, I wanted to gloat about my wonderful victory over your Veteran armored Brits, but I would have to dirty myself and post in the Heretical Cess if I wanted the Tome Keeper to take notice (BTW, it appears that my continued refusal to accept Mouse's thread as true heir is taking on a somewhat Quixotic air. Perhaps his new name is fitting …). Since you have seen to the formalities, I can properly trumpet my triumph over the Imperialist English Running Dog Hordes.

Long, long ago, in a mailbox far, far away, A great battle was received. The Nazi Horde took the field with a computer selected force of : three hetzers, two stugs, SEVEN 251/9s and a 250/9 for armor, and two pathetic Heer 44 rifle platoons and a gaggle of LMG teams (and a few other odds and ends). After a start that saw my Teutonic Ubertruppen dealt a harsh blow, with all of my real armor destroyed by a gamey computer picked force of six Veteran Daimlers (obviously ahistorical), I had to take back the initiative with my SturmHalfTrak brigade. These baby assault guns did yeoman work in taking out a number of the Daimers, several Crommies, and turning much of the objective town (and the infantry hiding within) to a fine ash.

And as far as being Australian, I'll deny it to the end. I can see it now, as I am before Joe's little Anti-'Pooligan Activities Committee --- "Are you now, or have you ever been from 'down-under'…"

[edited due to suppression of a smilie infitration]

[ 08-14-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

As Mouse appears to have left the MBT for a few days, perhaps you remaining exiles would like to come feast on the carcass of his heretical thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hate you more everyday. You drew this out of the depths to which it has sunk just to boast that I, I, will be gone for a bit?!?! Mrspkr you have gone too far. Actually you went to far a while back, now you are just WAY too far. Go start up a private thread between you and Gaeiour and stop the sophomoric tattling, prattling, snickering, and lip-licking.

Better yet, go ruin a tournament somewhere.

Oh, and as for courtesy, have a SWELL day. Oh, I see your head has already swelled.

[ 08-16-2001: Edited to include obligatory niceties]

[ 08-16-2001: Message edited by: Sancho Panza ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sancho Panza:

I hate you more everyday. You drew this out of the depths to which it has sunk just to boast that I, I, will be gone for a bit?!?! Mrspkr you have gone too far. Actually you went to far a while back, now you are just WAY too far. Go start up a private thread between you and Gaeiour and stop the sophomoric tattling, prattling, snickering, and lip-licking.

Better yet, go ruin a tournament somewhere.

Oh, and as for courtesy, have a SWELL day. Oh, I see your head has already swelled.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mouse, the only thing swollen around here is your sense of accomplishment at posting the first thread in the Pool. If you are trying to insult in the manner of the Pool, your remarks are sadly lacking in wit or intellect. If, however, you are merely spewing forth hateful invective, I suggest you go away again. This is not the place for it.

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