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Sexiest and Ugliest Tanks of WWII


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We've been having fun discussing which is the most survivable WWII Tank in WWII Combat Mission. I thought I'd ask a more light-hearted question:

Which is the 'sexiest' and least 'sexy' tank of WWII?

Meaning which tank has the best lines and just it's looks make the enemy break.

Conversely, the least sexy tank is ugly, screams "I'm a target" and suppresses the enemy due to laughter. 

image.jpeg.f715f52cd84859bcec324bd5bb2a2ce8.jpeg

For me, the classic WWII Tank is the Panther. There are better tanks, and in person it may not be as impressive, but the profile just looks great. 

 

image.thumb.jpeg.9be56633aae00685e6451524bb6e8d60.jpeg

Least sexy tank (that I know of) is the Renault FT-17 tankette. Barely qualifies as a tank and there are Armored Cars (like the Puma) that would instill more fear in the enemy. 

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Ugly or no, “a” tank (on your side) is better than no tank. Well, unless it is just a bullet/shell magnet, then maybe not! I have to agree though, the Panther is my favorite. As is the Jagdpanther my favorite TD.

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Beauty is only turret ring deep, but ugly cuts to the mantlet.

The entire KV series is beaten senseless with an ugly stick. Same with the Churchill line; it looks like it ought to be amphibious, but isn't. Seems like they could have built 2 tanks with all that extra hull or sumfink.

For ugly German tanks (ungainly SP artillery like the sIG38 aside), you'd need to go back to War 1. Although the Hetzer is kind of the Tyrion Lannester of the JgdPz series.

Mephisto_A7V_in_AWM_front_view.jpg

Lovably ugly, kind of like a pug: the M3 Stuart/Honey.  I also rather like the Cromwell, very steampunk with those rivets. And the Valentine.

I like the lines on the M24 Chafee, and have actually sat inside one (unit "Bazeilles", I believe) on the Dien Bien Phu battlefied. Also my personal pick for which WWII tank would I fight in.....

Edited by LongLeftFlank
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17 hours ago, Probus said:

We've been having fun discussing which is the most survivable WWII Tank in WWII Combat Mission. I thought I'd ask a more light-hearted question:

Which is the 'sexiest' and least 'sexy' tank of WWII?

Meaning which tank has the best lines and just it's looks make the enemy break.

Conversely, the least sexy tank is ugly, screams "I'm a target" and suppresses the enemy due to laughter. 

image.jpeg.f715f52cd84859bcec324bd5bb2a2ce8.jpeg

For me, the classic WWII Tank is the Panther. There are better tanks, and in person it may not be as impressive, but the profile just looks great. 

 

image.thumb.jpeg.9be56633aae00685e6451524bb6e8d60.jpeg

Least sexy tank (that I know of) is the Renault FT-17 tankette. Barely qualifies as a tank and there are Armored Cars (like the Puma) that would instill more fear in the enemy. 

Ex-TER-mi-NATE!!!!!!!!

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I've always thought the Crusader was an elegant-looking tank. Shame they were so flawed.

4324532-3x2-940x627.jpg

There are so many ugly tanks, but my favourite tank to hate is the Ferdinand - clumsy, unbalanced, ungainly thing with its loose ill-fitting tracks...

Heavy_Tank_Destroyer_Ferdinand_.jpg

 

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3 hours ago, Khalerick said:

British tanks are offensively ugly. Most look like first cousins to field tractors.

Come now, you must look past the indifference to modern dentistry and the compulsion to boil all flavour and nutrients out of food, to see the lush and glowing beauty.

The Centurion didn't quite make it to WW2 combat, but that one Saxy tank, Lesstenant!

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1 hour ago, Freyberg said:

I've always thought the Crusader was an elegant-looking tank. Shame they were so flawed.

4324532-3x2-940x627.jpg

There are so many ugly tanks, but my favourite tank to hate is the Ferdinand - clumsy, unbalanced, ungainly thing with its loose ill-fitting tracks...

Heavy_Tank_Destroyer_Ferdinand_.jpg

 

This pair indeed.

I would say that t-80U and t-72BM3 turn me on the most (red it and realized that it sounds like perverts forum). 

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19 hours ago, mjkerner said:

Ugly or no, “a” tank (on your side) is better than no tank. Well, unless it is just a bullet/shell magnet, then maybe not! I have to agree though, the Panther is my favorite. As is the Jagdpanther my favorite TD.

a9pqzP6_700b.jpg

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14 minutes ago, LongLeftFlank said:

Come now, you must look past the indifference to modern dentistry and the compulsion to boil all flavour and nutrients out of food

I'm not sure tanks need dentistry (modern or otherwise) or flavoursome and nutritional food 😉.  Or were you extending the scope of the thread?

If so, I think the comments probably apply more to the WW2 period than they do to today, so they could be considered appropriate.

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I've loved tanks since I before I can even remember loving tanks, I had them my whole childhood, collected books on them, etc.  They are mostly all pretty good looking, with some notable exceptions.  Even boxey (boxy?box-y?), boring PZ4 has it's own beauty.

Anyone ever watch bovingtion tank museum's Top 5/bottom 5 tank series?  It's interesting because the best & worst tanks are often the same ones.  Tigers & shermans often on both lists, depending on how the person graded firepower/armor/mobility/reliability/cost/maintenence, etc.  And despite tiger being a PZ4 on steroids, it's somehow sooooo much better looking than PZ4.  Maybe they should do top/bottom list based solely on looks. 

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3 hours ago, dbsapp said:

This pair indeed.

I would say that t-80U and t-72BM3 turn me on the most (red it and realized that it sounds like perverts forum). 

The Crusader looks great.  It looks like it should have been much better performance.  But, all those rivets...

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