Jump to content

Sexiest and Ugliest Tanks of WWII


Recommended Posts

We've been having fun discussing which is the most survivable WWII Tank in WWII Combat Mission. I thought I'd ask a more light-hearted question:

Which is the 'sexiest' and least 'sexy' tank of WWII?

Meaning which tank has the best lines and just it's looks make the enemy break.

Conversely, the least sexy tank is ugly, screams "I'm a target" and suppresses the enemy due to laughter. 

image.jpeg.f715f52cd84859bcec324bd5bb2a2ce8.jpeg

For me, the classic WWII Tank is the Panther. There are better tanks, and in person it may not be as impressive, but the profile just looks great. 

 

image.thumb.jpeg.9be56633aae00685e6451524bb6e8d60.jpeg

Least sexy tank (that I know of) is the Renault FT-17 tankette. Barely qualifies as a tank and there are Armored Cars (like the Puma) that would instill more fear in the enemy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Beauty is only turret ring deep, but ugly cuts to the mantlet.

The entire KV series is beaten senseless with an ugly stick. Same with the Churchill line; it looks like it ought to be amphibious, but isn't. Seems like they could have built 2 tanks with all that extra hull or sumfink.

For ugly German tanks (ungainly SP artillery like the sIG38 aside), you'd need to go back to War 1. Although the Hetzer is kind of the Tyrion Lannester of the JgdPz series.

Mephisto_A7V_in_AWM_front_view.jpg

Lovably ugly, kind of like a pug: the M3 Stuart/Honey.  I also rather like the Cromwell, very steampunk with those rivets. And the Valentine.

I like the lines on the M24 Chafee, and have actually sat inside one (unit "Bazeilles", I believe) on the Dien Bien Phu battlefied. Also my personal pick for which WWII tank would I fight in.....

Edited by LongLeftFlank
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Probus said:

We've been having fun discussing which is the most survivable WWII Tank in WWII Combat Mission. I thought I'd ask a more light-hearted question:

Which is the 'sexiest' and least 'sexy' tank of WWII?

Meaning which tank has the best lines and just it's looks make the enemy break.

Conversely, the least sexy tank is ugly, screams "I'm a target" and suppresses the enemy due to laughter. 

image.jpeg.f715f52cd84859bcec324bd5bb2a2ce8.jpeg

For me, the classic WWII Tank is the Panther. There are better tanks, and in person it may not be as impressive, but the profile just looks great. 

 

image.thumb.jpeg.9be56633aae00685e6451524bb6e8d60.jpeg

Least sexy tank (that I know of) is the Renault FT-17 tankette. Barely qualifies as a tank and there are Armored Cars (like the Puma) that would instill more fear in the enemy. 

Ex-TER-mi-NATE!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Khalerick said:

British tanks are offensively ugly. Most look like first cousins to field tractors.

Come now, you must look past the indifference to modern dentistry and the compulsion to boil all flavour and nutrients out of food, to see the lush and glowing beauty.

The Centurion didn't quite make it to WW2 combat, but that one Saxy tank, Lesstenant!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Freyberg said:

I've always thought the Crusader was an elegant-looking tank. Shame they were so flawed.

4324532-3x2-940x627.jpg

There are so many ugly tanks, but my favourite tank to hate is the Ferdinand - clumsy, unbalanced, ungainly thing with its loose ill-fitting tracks...

Heavy_Tank_Destroyer_Ferdinand_.jpg

 

This pair indeed.

I would say that t-80U and t-72BM3 turn me on the most (red it and realized that it sounds like perverts forum). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, LongLeftFlank said:

Come now, you must look past the indifference to modern dentistry and the compulsion to boil all flavour and nutrients out of food

I'm not sure tanks need dentistry (modern or otherwise) or flavoursome and nutritional food 😉.  Or were you extending the scope of the thread?

If so, I think the comments probably apply more to the WW2 period than they do to today, so they could be considered appropriate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've loved tanks since I before I can even remember loving tanks, I had them my whole childhood, collected books on them, etc.  They are mostly all pretty good looking, with some notable exceptions.  Even boxey (boxy?box-y?), boring PZ4 has it's own beauty.

Anyone ever watch bovingtion tank museum's Top 5/bottom 5 tank series?  It's interesting because the best & worst tanks are often the same ones.  Tigers & shermans often on both lists, depending on how the person graded firepower/armor/mobility/reliability/cost/maintenence, etc.  And despite tiger being a PZ4 on steroids, it's somehow sooooo much better looking than PZ4.  Maybe they should do top/bottom list based solely on looks. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, dbsapp said:

This pair indeed.

I would say that t-80U and t-72BM3 turn me on the most (red it and realized that it sounds like perverts forum). 

The Crusader looks great.  It looks like it should have been much better performance.  But, all those rivets...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...