Ghost of Lurkur Past Posted May 24, 2022 Share Posted May 24, 2022 I was never more than a gnat on the MBT, but a gnat can be highly efficient in the mass-to-annoyance ratio, if employed correctly. I never met any of the posters in three dimensions, and that might be for the better, as they loomed large online. In spite of the reputation of the cesspudlians, I knew they were an inherently silly and decent lot, with the possible exception of Dorosh. It needs to be remembered that the real unspoken purpose of the thread was to allow civil men to get in touch with their innate hate. Now for the youngsters out there, I don’t mean the discounted, pouty and petty everyone-I-disagree-with-is-literally-Hitler, Instagram-empowered, overly-hyphenated thing we call hate these days. No, our aggressions were macro and very pointy indeed. The challenges were a form of preparation, like a meat tenderizing hammer on the insensate slab of meat that was your opponent. The verbal blows would rouse them to awareness, get them engaged, because that was the only way to extract the right kind of hate out of them. Make them pull themselves up only to make the fall that much better, for nothing brings out the pure hate than having the mandala of your beautiful strategic vision blurred by an opponent constantly banging the underside of the table. Your Tiger’s been defanged by a lucky shot. The ATG in the perfect position uncrewed by a stray artillery shell. Discovering the hard way the tank you thought was hull down isn’t. Turn after turn the design gets contorted, deformed, and corrupted, and you can begin to smell the hate coming from the other end of the e-mail. This form of hate goes deeper than politics, religion, or even relationships. It is primal, a liquid black opal straight from core of your opponent. One drop in the city water would give 1000 children scabies, but to a proper knight of the ‘pool having your opponent hate you was far better than victory. It kept you warm in the darkness… In those days event the gnats swaggered. Women clutched their heaving bosoms for fear of being overcome by the sheer testosterone dripping from every post. Yes, we had women in the pool, erm… three of them I think, and one of those ended up being a dude, but it was NOT NEARLY AS LAME AS THAT JUST SOUNDED! Special recognition to my liege Boo Radley. I shall always be the Wormtongue to your Sharky. Wherever some mouth breathing halfwit is being upbraided, a garter being verbally snapped, or plans are thwarted by happenstance and lesser men, the Pool lives on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 (edited) On 5/24/2022 at 12:46 PM, Ghost of Lurkur Past said: I was never more than a gnat on the MBT, but a gnat can be highly efficient in the mass-to-annoyance ratio, if employed correctly. I never met any of the posters in three dimensions, and that might be for the better, as they loomed large online. In spite of the reputation of the cesspudlians, I knew they were an inherently silly and decent lot, with the possible exception of Dorosh. It needs to be remembered that the real unspoken purpose of the thread was to allow civil men to get in touch with their innate hate. Now for the youngsters out there, I don’t mean the discounted, pouty and petty everyone-I-disagree-with-is-literally-Hitler, Instagram-empowered, overly-hyphenated thing we call hate these days. No, our aggressions were macro and very pointy indeed. The challenges were a form of preparation, like a meat tenderizing hammer on the insensate slab of meat that was your opponent. The verbal blows would rouse them to awareness, get them engaged, because that was the only way to extract the right kind of hate out of them. Make them pull themselves up only to make the fall that much better, for nothing brings out the pure hate than having the mandala of your beautiful strategic vision blurred by an opponent constantly banging the underside of the table. Your Tiger’s been defanged by a lucky shot. The ATG in the perfect position uncrewed by a stray artillery shell. Discovering the hard way the tank you thought was hull down isn’t. Turn after turn the design gets contorted, deformed, and corrupted, and you can begin to smell the hate coming from the other end of the e-mail. This form of hate goes deeper than politics, religion, or even relationships. It is primal, a liquid black opal straight from core of your opponent. One drop in the city water would give 1000 children scabies, but to a proper knight of the ‘pool having your opponent hate you was far better than victory. It kept you warm in the darkness… In those days event the gnats swaggered. Women clutched their heaving bosoms for fear of being overcome by the sheer testosterone dripping from every post. Yes, we had women in the pool, erm… three of them I think, and one of those ended up being a dude, but it was NOT NEARLY AS LAME AS THAT JUST SOUNDED! Special recognition to my liege Boo Radley. I shall always be the Wormtongue to your Sharky. Wherever some mouth breathing halfwit is being upbraided, a garter being verbally snapped, or plans are thwarted by happenstance and lesser men, the Pool lives on. Lurker, you mewling, inbred fey artiste Nimrod. Thick as a short plank sandwich is what you are. Have you actually made bail? Who slipped up this time? WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS INDIGNITY???Joe Shaw shall hear about this!Dear Gawd, how does this UBB code thingy work, anyhow? Edited June 3, 2022 by Boo Radley 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Lurkur Past Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 Boo Radley! Good to feel the ol' boot on the back of my head again, my liege! Not so much bail, more like work-release except you don't come back and need to find a saw to cut the chain that links you and the other nine guys together. Fear not! I ought to be able to make it to your neighborhood in time to celebrate "Shoot out the bastige's porchlight night." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 Holy crap. A series of nostalgiacal events has dumped me here like a drunken frat girl left at her front door in a grocery cart. I was yakking with Seanachai tonight actually, and something made me do some searches for Peng thread stuff, and I lighted on a new YouTube post of an old Joe Shaw podcast where he interviews Boo. Surreal. (I don't remember the specific Boo Hetzer vs dalem Shermans groin kick you related, Boo, but I have no doubt it happened.) So I did another search and ended up here and wango zetango, the nostalgia rises even higher. Saw Lars the other weekend - he drives a rig long-haul these days. He's probably driven by some of your houses, even. Think about that. No state is safe. Papa Khann, who I dunno if many remember, is also doing well - he was at the same game night as Lars. We played a fun pulpy Solar System game. As familiar to some of you, I did not win. Who else do I know about... well, a few other CMers, but no other Cesspudlians. Luckily since Berli's ascendance into Berlidom the Angle of Death has been off by a few degrees in my locale. Me, myself, and I? I'm doing fine. Same house, different dog, different cat, same hatred of all of you & stuff. "But what about your versificationisms" you ask, hand-to-breast? I sling small ones on a hockey forum I've come to enjoy. They tell me they like them. In honor of their foolishnessitude, I shall copy-paste an old one here, for your enjoyment. ("Oh my lord," they breathed, "he actually kept them.") So I give you "PBEM by the CM Light" once again. For you youngsters in between your avocado toasts and your pogo sticks, there was a rather famous song by one aptly named "Meat Loaf" from the late 70s called "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" (Ask your parents where you came from and they'll probably burst into spontaneous chorus from this one.) And "Gnome" is one of the many names for Seanachai. I've improved on it a bit. Ahem. ============= PBEM by the CM Light I. PBEM Gnome: I remember every little turn As if they loaded only yesterday PBEMing in the dark And there was not another game in sight And I never had a foe Playing any worser than you did And all the Cesspoolers They were wishing they were me that night And now our recon screens are so close and tight It never felt so good, it never felt so right And we're glowing like the tracer at the end of its flight C'mon! Watch the flank! C'mon! Watch the flank! Chorus: Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night I can play PBEM by the CM light Peng: Ain't no doubt about it We were doubly blessed Cause we were barely on Turn 5 And we were barely dressed Ain't no doubt about it Baby got to go and shout it Ain't no doubt about it We were doubly blessed Gnome: Cause we were barely on Turn 5 And we were barely dressed Baby doncha hear my heart You got it drowning out the sound FX I've been waiting so long For you to come along and hit my mines And I gotta let ya know No you're never gonna regret it So open up your eyes I got a big surprise It'll feel all right Well I wanna make your Sherman burn And now our recon screens are oh so close and tight It never felt so good, it never felt so right And we're glowing like the tracer at the end of its flight C'mon! Watch the flank! C'mon! Watch the flank! Chorus: Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night I can play PBEM by the CM light PBEM by the CM light Gnome: You got to do what you can And let the Tac AI do the rest Ain't no doubt about it We were doubly blessed Cause we were barely on Turn 5 And we were barely-- We're gonna go for a Major Victory We're gonna go for a Major An tonight's the night... Radio Broadcast: Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here, Turn 5, defender Hidden well, armor recon advancing down the road, and there it is, a moving shot from a lead Sherman and a defending halftrack goes up in flames. Look at him go, this tank can really shoot! He's going straight down the road and through the AT mines and he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for Hull Down; an AT gun reveals itself, here comes the shot, he's hit! No, wait, Minor Penetration, No Damage, he's fine, this tank really makes things happen out there. Followup Sherman comes down the same road, the AT gun rotates to target, and the first Sherman nails it with one shot. Holy Cow, Routed the crew! The first tank's TC's unbuttoned now, almost daring the defender to try and pick him off. A Tiger I inches forward from cover to engage the second Sherman but it ends up in the arc of the Hull Down Sherman, the Sherman's turret rotates, the Tiger I's turret rotates! Here's the shot, there's the turn clock winding down, Holy Cow, I think he's gonna hit it! II. Let Me Drink On It Peng: Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further--! Will you play me? Will you play me forever? Will you loathe me? Will you always stalk me? Will you post wicked things for the rest of my life? Will you reply to my posts and will you cause me much strife? Will you play me!? Will you play me forever!? Will you have my email? Will you never delete it!? Will you send me fast turns for rest of my life!? Will you reply right away and not make me wait while I play on this fife!? I gotta know right now Before we go any further Will you play me!!!? Will you return turns forever!!!? Gnome: Let me drink on it Baby, baby let me drink on it Let me drink on it And I'll give you my answer in the morning Let me drink on it Baby, baby let me drink on it Let me drink on it And I'll give you my answer in the morning Let me drink on it Baby, baby let me drink on it Let me drink on it And I'll give you my answer in the morning Peng: I gotta know right now! Will you play me? Will you play me forever? Will you loathe me? Will you never be sober? Will you turn over fast like a mail-order wife? Will you remember that we have games backed up to last the rest of my life? I gotta know right now! Before we go any further Will you play me? And will you play me forever? Gnome: Let me drink on it Baby, baby let me drink on it Let me drink on it And I'll give you my answer in the morning Let me drink on it!!! Peng: Will you play me forever? Gnome: Let me drink on it!!! Peng: Will you play me forever!!! III. Praying for the End of Time Gnome: I couldn't take it any longer Lord I was drunk And when the feeling came upon me Like a boot to the junk I started swearing to my god and Traci Lords' love for spunk That I would play you to the end of time I swore that I would play you to the end of time! So now I'm praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive Cause if I gotta play another battle with you I don't think that I can really survive I'll never break my promise or forget my vow But Berli only knows what I can do right now I'm praying for the end of time It's all that I can do Praying for the end of time, so I can end my games with you!!! Gnome: It was CM:BO all through CM:AK and it was so much better than it is today Peng: He never plays too good He's never sober at night And we were glowing like A tracer at the end of its flight ================= Thank you, we're dalem, good night!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted December 22, 2022 Share Posted December 22, 2022 In some addled dream state I happened to wander into this pit-o-cess and... Makes ya wonder, huh? Oh, and I still hate you all, individually and collectively. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 1, 2023 Share Posted January 1, 2023 Happy New Cess, ya knobs! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 I peek into the General Forum to read about this new armored concept, and what do I fall into? A bucket of cess, with a dalem floating at the top. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 I thought I sensed a great disturbance in the Force; turns out it was just dalem's horrid poetry. Good gawd, man, you made some Vogons run away screaming. I loathe all the Cesspudlians, but today, I loathe you just a wee bit more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 The Ghosts of Battles Past return one after the other, Ragnarok must be upon us. House Pawbroon will be ready… Has anyone seen my Queen? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 For more nostalgia feel free to visit the Urbandead site, which is still alive and where the ghosts of the Shambling Seagulls and the Jamoombahadeen still lurk… 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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