John Kettler Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 One of my brothers received this and passed it to me. Thought some of you might enjoy it, too. LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? A lexophile of course! • Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! • How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo. • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. • When chemists die, they barium. • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. • Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. • I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. • Broken pencils are pointless. • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. • I dropped out of communism class because of terrible Marx. • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. • Velcro - what a rip off! • Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last. Regards, John Kettler 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Good lord. [holds head in hands] Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kettler Posted August 11, 2016 Author Share Posted August 11, 2016 Michael Emrys, Wait. There's more. A fresh example from brother George, who definitely wasn't trying to be cute. In describing efforts to tweak some model railroad buildings so they looked more European, he said "The spire does not look very European at this point." Years ago I came up with one regarding a movie about the adventures of particle physicists. The title? "Raiders of the Lost Quark." (dives into armored bunker and dogs hatch) Regards, John Kettler 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 1 hour ago, John Kettler said: "Raiders of the Lost Quark." Not bad. I mean, considering that it's still a pun. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tagge Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Brilliant stuff! Sounds much like one-liner comedians like Tim Vine and Stewart Francis. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tagge Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 One from the Young Ones: - Do you dig graves? - Yes, they are quite allright. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kettler Posted August 23, 2016 Author Share Posted August 23, 2016 Saw this great meme on Tumblr. It was accompanied by an image of a spectral babe. Are you a haunting beauty? You could be Miss Ghost America. Regards, John Kettler 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.