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The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder


Joe Shaw

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Someone's losing a game to Boo?  How does that happen?

 

And I should mention that Seanachai is currently running without the internets, or no better than intermittantly so, for the immediate future.  Those who still have his snail mail addy (it hasn't changed) should send him filthy and/or insulting postcards.  He would appreciate that.

 

And Berli still loves puppies and the casual smile of a stranger in a crowd.

 

And Lars is still out on the long-haul roads playing The Bandit to someone's Smokey.

 

And Papa Khann is still a ruthless bastage with money on his mind and cankers on his soul.

 

And that's pretty much the Minnesota Report.

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Remember the move Zulu? , the Zulu chiefs placed their men within rifle range of the Redcoats in order to count the number of British soldiers firing at them. What is five Shermans among hundreds?

You know it really isn't fair to pose questions in that manner to old Boo. He has been staring at the screen for days trying to do the math. It is still just 5 Boo. He was just suggesting that it is an inconsequential amount considering he has many left. And no Boo having destroyed a 6th tank doesn't really alter the situation

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And I should mention that Seanachai is currently running without the internets, or no better than intermittantly so, for the immediate future.

 

Why don't you tell him to pay his goddam bills!

 

Someone's losing a game to Boo?  How does that happen?

 

 Well, somebody's got to lose and it can't always be Boo. Or can it?

 

And that's pretty much the Minnesota Report.

 

 

The ass end of nowhere. As usual.

 

Michael

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{screeeech…..}

 

The heavy oaken door slowly opens, leaving a cleared area on the dusty floor…

 

The light illuminates a cluttered room, full of torn maps, military surplus store khaki underwear and 3.5” diskettes.

 

“Just as I thought”, said speedbump2, “the Olde Ones have let this place go to the serfs…”

 

“It has been 10 years since I left the Cesspool, seeking my fortune, raising a family, and frankly comporting with a better class of folk; people who shake their heads sadly at the denizens of the various incarnations of the Peng Challenge Thread.”

 

“Oh, there he is sitting on his throne, the one redeeming representative of the Pool, Joe Shaw.  As a former member of the Shavian House, I look to him as the shining light in this everlasting dimness.”

 

“And dalem, poor dalem.  Raised in an era of computers, he still doesn’t realize the keyboard has a Shift key and a Space bar….”

 

Boo Radley?  Is that you? At one time you were a resident of the great state of Ohio.  Have they kicked you out yet?  If so, I can speak with our Governor.  I am sure we can find work for you.  Cleaning the restrooms at the Browns stadium would be a step up from your meanderings in the Cesspool.”

 

“Joe, is Noba still around?  I was wiping my shoes of an especially noxious substance the other day and thought of him.”

 

“I see Michael Emrys and nidan1 appear to still be floating in the Pool.  Excellent work, obviously your family is proud of that accomplishment.”

 

“After 10 years of internetty messages from Battlefront, I finally decided to return to the challenges of CM (CMBN and CMRT).  Challenge being a humorous adjective when used here.”

 

“Battlefront, having retired, in Honor, my original moniker (speedbump) and placing it on the Ring of Fame, has provided me with a nickname twice as powerful: speedbump2.”

 

"I would wish you a Happy New Year, but I don't expect many of you to survive it.  Darwin awards and all..."

 

“I await your accolades and game files….”

 

speedbump2

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Welcome home speedbump.  I am the latest squire of the Shavian House.  May I take your coat?  There is a nice fire burning in the other room to help take a chill off and I think an assortment of spirits to warm you from the inside.  Our Liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House is around somewhere Justicarating or sumfink.

I believe he might actually be working on a new guide "The selection and training of squires for dummies" or some such title as a Holiday gift for House Rune.

Was Emrys floating facedown? No? Darn.

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“It has been 10 years since I left the Cesspool, seeking my fortune, raising a family, and frankly comporting with a better class of folk; people who shake their heads sadly at the denizens of the various incarnations of the Peng Challenge Thread.”

 

 

 

speedbump2

 

My advice is to leave now and come back in another 10 years.

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Why, thank you Mister Burke.  I worry about some of the denizens here, so it is best to keep ones wits about you, so no spirits.  I will take an Imperial IPA however.  Do you have a Resin?

 

I would assume that Joe is using crayons and pictures, as much of House Rune is illiterate, and enjoys the flavor of Burnt Sienna.

 

Alas, Emrys was right side up and his family were gnashing their teeth in frustration.

 

I look forward to making myself comfortable...

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Welcome home speedbump.  I am the latest squire of the Shavian House.  May I take your coat?  There is a nice fire burning in the other room to help take a chill off and I think an assortment of spirits to warm you from the inside.  Our Liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House is around somewhere Justicarating or sumfink.

I believe he might actually be working on a new guide "The selection and training of squires for dummies" or some such title as a Holiday gift for House Rune.

Was Emrys floating facedown? No? Darn.

Kiss ass!

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Says the former squire who is obediently serving up his forces to be slaughtered by Boo.  By Boo for crying out loud.  I mean geez you must have already figured out where his forces are and are then assigning tight covered arcs so the TAC AI doesn't overrule you and actually put up a fight.

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I prefer to view it as:

 

1) The proper welcome to a returning hero

2) The natural extension to the lineage of the Shavian House

3) An extremely long response from you.  When complete, did you need a nap?

I seem to recollect now........the Shavian House requires bloviation from its members, as practiced to the fullest extent by its current senior member Shaw. I see that you haven't forgotten his teachings. The young lad sburke {spelt not bolded} also dutifully following in his footsteps by issuing long senseless streams of word diarrhea.

Keep it brief, keep it pithy.

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I seem to recollect now........the Shavian House requires bloviation from its members, as practiced to the fullest extent by its current senior member Shaw. I see that you haven't forgotten his teachings. The young lad sburke {spelt not bolded} also dutifully following in his footsteps by issuing long senseless streams of word diarrhea.

Keep it brief, keep it pithy.

Well, you did keep it brief...1 for 2!!  Not a bad hit rate!

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Boo Radley?  Is that you? At one time you were a resident of the great state of Ohio.  Have they kicked you out yet? 

 

speedbump2

 

Oh, good grief... and there goes the neighborhood.  Long time, Speedbump... you out on some kind of work release program? I can't imagine you being allowed out for good behavior. Or is there some kind of state or local plan on cleaning up the prisons and getting rid of you would go a long way on getting the job done? I imagine with you out of the slammer, Marysville is no longer the lowest point in the state.

 

Yes, I am still in N. E. Ohio. Who else will have me?

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Yes, I am still in N. E. Ohio. Who else will have me?

 

So that is what has kept my Real Estate value suppressed this last 10 years...I should have known.

 

I suppose your presence makes you our very own Billy Goat curse....  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_the_Billy_Goat

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Another is publicly admitting to be a "Proud alumni of the Shavian House". Why don't you just write down "Blithering idiot". Same thing, really.

 

Jealousy does not become you.  

 

One must be proud of one's genealogy and heraldry.  Of course, when one's line is made up of court jesters and and night soil collectors, it must be difficult...

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{screeeech…..}

 

 

“Joe, is Noba still around?  I was wiping my shoes of an especially noxious substance the other day and thought of him.”

 

 

 

“Battlefront, having retired, in Honor, my original moniker (speedbump) and placing it on the Ring of Fame, has provided me with a nickname twice as powerful: speedbump2.”

 

"I would wish you a Happy New Year, but I don't expect many of you to survive it.  Darwin awards and all..."

 

“I await your accolades and game files….”

 

speedbump2

 

Good Grief.... first post back and it's crawling to OFJ like a lonely puppy when it's master comes home. No doubt you made a mess in your favourite corner of the house, again. Wait until your master rubs your nose in it. Again. (As if OFJ can be the master of anyone).

 

Since you have come poncing back where do you get off expecting files? The Statute of Limitations (In your case "Extreme Limitations") requires you to requalify as an idiot. Your previous competency in this area, whilst noted, means that it a given - but you should still apply.

 

Send a file.

 

Noba.

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Good Grief.... first post back and it's crawling to OFJ like a lonely puppy when it's master comes home. No doubt you made a mess in your favourite corner of the house, again. Wait until your master rubs your nose in it. Again. (As if OFJ can be the master of anyone).

 

Since you have come poncing back where do you get off expecting files? The Statute of Limitations (In your case "Extreme Limitations") requires you to requalify as an idiot. Your previous competency in this area, whilst noted, means that it a given - but you should still apply.

 

Send a file.

 

Noba.

 

My good Noba (and I won't even attempt to translate that as Nooba..no, no too easy), the recognition of Sir Joe Shaw upon my return is nothing more than recognizing my superior in the Shavian House.  Clearly this is a concept that should be instinctual to you as everyone is your superior....

 

File will be on the way soonest...

 

Speedbump2

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My good Noba (and I won't even attempt to translate that as Nooba..no, no too easy), the recognition of Sir Joe Shaw upon my return is nothing more than recognizing my superior in the Shavian House.  Clearly this is a concept that should be instinctual to you as everyone is your superior....

 

File will be on the way soonest...

 

Speedbump2

Welcome Home my lad, it is good to see you Sir Speedbump and the Shavian House will always be your home away from home. In fact I believe we still have your old desk in the attic. You remember the one that you scratched a crude figure of a woman with an arrow pointing toward her and the inscription ... "Speedbump goes here"? For old times sake I could likely lay on a three hour seminar on the subject of "Nidan1, a Really Stupid Name or What?" Or perhaps you'd like to take a shot at presenting "Australians, You Really CAN Live Somewhere Else" ... I'm sure that Our Most Loyal and Trustworthy Squire sburke would appreciate your insight.

 

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Welcome Home my lad, it is good to see you Sir Speedbump and the Shavian House will always be your home away from home. In fact I believe we still have your old desk in the attic. You remember the one that you scratched a crude figure of a woman with an arrow pointing toward her and the inscription ... "Speedbump goes here"? For old times sake I could likely lay on a three hour seminar on the subject of "Nidan1, a Really Stupid Name or What?" Or perhaps you'd like to take a shot at presenting "Australians, You Really CAN Live Somewhere Else" ... I'm sure that Our Most Loyal and Trustworthy Squire sburke would appreciate your insight.

 

 

Thank you Sir Joe for the welcome.  The House is looking as warm and inviting as ever.  Let me wipe my muddy boots on Boo Radley's coat and share a pint with you and Squire sburke.  

 

I remember your assignments fondly.  My favorites included "Michael Emrys, inspiration for Churchill's 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about'" and "The Cesspool, If idiots could fly, this would be an airport".

 

Squire sburke, might I suggest research into "dalemThe cream rises to the top. So does the scum."  I think the conclusion is obvious, but it will teach you to consolidate volumes of supporting data....

 

speedbump2

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