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Mouse

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Posts posted by Mouse

  1. Originally posted by Lars:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

    Never fear little Mouse, it is a neverending story, my possible birthday present. For instance, dear Lars could hear the noise outside an lean out of his window to get a better view, but forget that his window is closed, causing him to smash his dull-but-heavy brainpan through a sheet of leaded glass and thereby severing his grinning skull. Said bodyless noggin could fall at 32 ft/sec2 until it smacked onto little Mouse, who could be scurrying along the sidewalk in an effort to avoid the whole mess.

    If my death takes a SSN with me, I'd consider it a blessing.

    </font>

  2. Originally posted by dalem:

    If I could have one thing for my birthday I would probably have to choose watching Peng sand his own face off with a very course grit paper.

    On the other hand, if I could pick up Peng by his ankles and beat Hiram to death with him that would be a pretty good one too. Maybe Boo would then walk by and slip and fall in the bloodpool, and when MrSpkr came up to ask who wanted to sue whom, he would fall off of his unicycle and bury the top of his pointy head in Boo's chest. The gout of blood from Boo's aorta could arc in a huge red stream across the street, which would make Old Joe look up from the road and swerve his Pinto onto the curb where Seanachai would be sounding out the words in his latest Terry Pratchett novel. The huge fireball that would result from the detonation of the Pinto racing to envelop him would be the last thing Andreas would ever see as the arcing stream of Booblood from across the street smashed through his glasses and drove his eyeballs back into his bulging forebrain. Then Berli, watching all on his Olde-One Crystal Ball, would laugh so hard that he would cough up a lung and choke on it.

    Yeah, that would be a birthday.

    GLORYOSKY!!!

    ... and the Mouse lives on... Oh yassssss.... now where did that Little Annie Fanny cartoon go to...

    [ September 23, 2003, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  3. Originally posted by Abbott:

    Good morning,

    I would like to nominate JasonC for a makeover. While Dorosh, Andreas, Bassy and others come to mind, JasonC’s distinct lack of humor needs dressing. Never has one man posted so much without one shred of humor. Dorosh at least makes a feint towards humor, I guess only other Grogs can understand. Actually I cannot remember him ever being funny, but hey, he has a mannequin that counts for something! Andreas sports that winning smile (it makes the kiddies laugh) and wears boxing gloves to class. Grades one thru five find him funny until they have to take a nap.

    I would nominate JasonC, yes JasonC for a makeover in the worst way. Dressed up or shaken down his posts never contain even the smallest glint of humor. A makeover may not be enough, maybe just lock him in a room with Redwolf where none can hear them scream.

    Edited: because some evenings I like tequila to much.

    Nonsense, you just didn't translate his grog-talk correctly...

    Originally posted by JasonC:In WW I tanks had to stop little spitwad thingies, but weren't expected to withstand anything else, like frying pans. Even 75mm HE-man collectible figures were sufficient to KO them. Flat plates were used because they were simplest to produce and fit together, and were readily available from the mess hall after chow.

    In the inter war period designs improved considerably, but armor protection against gunfire was not a primary design goal. It was just assumed that seriously pissed Mormon wives wielding cookware would succeed in KOing tanks if they managed to hit them. Protection against large fatty arms wielding iron skillets was the main point. Other design goals were small size and weight (especially to use roads and bridges, also to make more of them), improved speed and reliability (for escape), while keeping enough room for men, beer, and... er... men's literature.

    The idea of Mormon mother-in-laws joining battle, particularly the MIL-300 (the three hundred pound version of the basic MIL) is what initially led to thicker armor. The opponent envisioned was the MIL supporting a supposedly insulted Mormon wife. Matildas, Chars, and KVs were initially designed thick not to duel other tanks but to approach pan-equipped MILs safely.

    So part of the answer is that a need for thick armor in the first place was not obvious, and when it first appeared they weren't thinking of the MIL threat, let alone the MIL threat from other nearby tanks, as MILs are known to lash out at any perceived offender within range, whether related or not. The Germans uparmored their IIIs and IVs after experience battling MILs in France (quite a fiery temper evidently), but they had been originally designed thinking a plate or so of armor was all a tank would ever need. Hence the appearance of bolt-on plate armor.

    The Soviets were the first to truly appreciate the threat, and later developed much more heavily armored units like the IS-2 and IS-3, designed to withstand the strike of 2 or 3 iron skillets at the same time before catastrophic plate failure.

    For what it is worth.

  4. Originally posted by MrPeng:

    But fraternizing? NEVER!

    Come on Pengy... release all that pent-up anger you have... there are therapy sessions available for you, you know.

    We mice feel for the wounded child inside you... Why my granddaddy's granddaddy's grandaddy used to tell a story about a certain television show you used to watch with pre-pubescent fascination... Come on, I know you know the song...

    M - I - C...

    K - E - Y...

    M - O - U - S - E.....

    Have you never let go the pain that built up day after day when Annette failed to respond to your desperate letters... when no matter how hard you waved and shouted at the television "Annette! Over here! I'm over here!" she never quite looked your way with that smile you yearned for... after all she talked and played with Cubby... and Tommy... but poor old Pengie never got any...

    We are all really quite sorry that Annette didn't pick you for beach blanket bingo, but get over it! Stop watching those old black and white reruns, and move on... Go stalk Buffy or sumfink...

  5. Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

    You make me proud! Now go forth and smite the Mouse.

    I cannot get that word outta my mind.....oblique, oblique, oblique.........

    Is it French or something?

    Aah, bolded at last.

    Mouse-smiting is it???

    Sending your lackey 'cause you can't finish a job is it???

    Very well. Consider your lackey Mouse-smitten... err... no, no, no... not like that...

  6. Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

    Quiet Mouse

    Do you not realize you are in the presence of Genius?

    Oblique

    Rhymes with: geek, leak, meek, peek, reek, seek, tweak, weak....

    My Gawd! The possibilities are endless. Joe I need more time!!!!

    as well as...

    Squeak!

    [edited to nod to Nidan1 and his post, as the cats I have on a treadmill to power my Internet connection are a bunch of laggards today, and my connection suffers accordingly]

    [ September 22, 2003, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  7. Originally posted by MrPeng:

    I say let's keep the bugger around until he gets himself banned. It should be almost as much fun as emptying my inbox of spam. Wait. that's not fun at all. COVENTRY!!!

    Oh, and Mr. Shaw, point of order... when a thing is sent to Coventry, and continues to post, is it allowable to make oblique reference to it whilst posting to other board members? I don't care really I just wanted to use 'oblique' in a sentence.

    Peng

    A veritable renaissance is at hand... The oft-referenced, seldom-deferenced Peng personage actually showed up! Are we all supposed to cower and grovel now that he has graced us with his presence or, how is it spelt, sumfink like that? But what happened to his gigantic soliloquies of yore? Or is he degraded into short posts where the usage of a simple 18 point word like 'oblique' makes him smug with satisfaction?

    Where have his quixotic (26 points mind you), thundering, smiley-thrashing posts gone? Now we are just left with Sean-a-chai-tea-latte and his drunken ramblings...

  8. Originally posted by Cabron66:

    You define a group of men playing video games and running around squeaking "peng" like some kind of nocturnal rodent sobriety? Well, count me out. Sobriety is all yours.

    And what the 'ell would you know about nocturnal rodent sobriety? Never seen your like around, unless I were to look back at the 'presents' I leave in Hoe Squaw's big ol' banker shoes in his closet in the middle of the night. Running around his house in the middle of the night, chewing open his cereal boxes, dropping ****e in his shoes, and peeing on the pictures of his favorite Mormon wives isn't fun at all unless you have a good buzz on... Sobriety? Feh! Only good for lesser rodents of the world...
  9. The Bronze Rat

    A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

    "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

    "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.

    As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.

    By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.

    Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

    Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

    "No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."

  10. Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

    Ah...Life is good sometimes.

    And then there's the Cesspool...

    Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

    I only wish that you lot could join us. It would be really nice for her to realise that she could have done much worse!

    You are a sick bastard, aren't you? Dragging this lot around to the beach on your weekend, unless you are indeed trying to drive home the point that she could have done much worse.

    "Look Dearest, you could have Seanachai around all the time... you might have to put up with Hoe Squaw's rules and ramblings... dalem could be your brother...

    and Boo Radley could be our dog. How terrible would that be?!? Hmm??? Kinda makes intense pain, a visit to the hospital, and surgery look like a picnic, doesn't it?"

    [edited for UBB stuff]

    [ September 16, 2003, 08:26 AM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  11. Originally posted by Noba:

    Noba.

    ps. Anyone seen a cat prowling around here ?

    Nope, I ran the bugger off... First, showed it a picture of Seanachai, but that just got it angry... told it that there was a special place in Berli's home for cats that abused mice, and it grinned wickledly... told it that there were warm laps provided by the Dames of the 'Pool for sleeping on if it hurried, and it just spat... tried to buy it off with a saucer of cream, and it knocked the saucer away... finally, I just pointed behind it and said "Here comes Mace!" and the feline took off for the hills...

    Squeak.

    [ September 11, 2003, 07:49 AM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  12. Originally posted by YK2:

    Short and Sweet....

    You have entered the Peng Challenge Thread so I hope you wiped your feet on the way in...

    Now that's a thread title! And I did wipe my feet, er, paws, all four of them, on the way in. We mice are actually quite fastidious, except for the fact that we cannot operate those humongous things you call commodes, the handles are too high. So we are forced to leave you litle presents, usualy tucked away in the corner of your kitchen cabinets. Why there you ask? Well, that's where the food is, and while your house might seem right-sized for you, but that bathroom, or loo, or whatever you call it in your neck of the woods, is damn far away when your legs are only an inch long. So we mice make do the best we can. Unless you are Hoe Squaw. Then we try to make it to the bedroom, and leave them on your pillow... or inside your favorite stodgy old banker shoes...

    So YK2, when do you break out the wine and cheese? Especially the cheese part. Just a few crumbs? I promise not to run across your slippers while you are stretched out and waiting for the Bard...

  13. Originally posted by Seanachai:

    I shall, then, Boys in hand, not go gently into that good night, mate!

    Enuff said. Are you sure you're not a Catholic Priest in disguise??? Hmm???

    If that weren't bad enough, that wino character sent him more alcohol, which I am sure he will use to ply more young altar boys... oh the shame of it all...

    [edited due to whatever]

    [ September 05, 2003, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  14. Originally posted by Seanachai:

    Where's the Canadian from? We might be willing to trade you Mouse for the Canadian, as the whole cheese thing is starting to worry me.

    Bah! Trade as you will, if it amuses you old man. Perhaps sending you a few old buttons, bent paper clips, and a ragged shoe or two will you let you work out some deals with your friends who sleep on the benches in downtown Minneapolis. Rolled any drunks lately searching for change so that you can pleasure yourself with some streetcorner strumpet? I thought so.

    [ September 04, 2003, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

  15. Originally posted by Seanachai:

    So, Mouse, NG Cavscout, and you other new buggers: Go over and infiltrate the Master Goodale thread and destroy it from within. Don't come back until they've been eliminated.

    There's a good lot of genetic damaged goods.

    Been there, chastised them for associating mice with all those *shudder* things, done that. There are, after all, some places not even a Mouse will go...

    *looks around*

    but then, there are some places they will go, for some god-forsaken reason... perhaps because it amuses them to annoy you. Warms our little hearts it does...

  16. Originally posted by Seanachai:

    ...keep in mind that it might desensitize you for contact with actual women.

    Women?!? Who needs women? (No offense Mesdames Persephone, YK2, Emma, and yes, even that Dame Kitty) Just give me a nice wheel of smoked Gouda, a fine Brie, or an nice thick slice of good ol' Provolone. They don't worry what other cheeses I have in the refrigerator... they don't care how many cheeses I nibble in one evening...

    aah, the power of cheese...

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