Papa Khann
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Posts posted by Papa Khann
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</font>Originally posted by Papa Khann:So you'll be sodding off then?
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:
Not until you are shown to be the capering buffoon that I know in my heart you are.
So, how do ya like them apples. Pepe LePew?
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So you'll be sodding off then?Originally posted by Boo_Radley:(Mass snippage of this and that. It was mostly drivel having to do with what an enormous dolt assmaster is. Despite the fact that it was true, it wasn't worth further consideration)
My work here is finished.
Papa
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Nice try, El Boobaloo. However, your remarks do not compute.Originally posted by Boo_Radley:Well, you didn't let me down there. I threw that last line out knowing that as you're such a poseur, you'd be forced to take the bait. You indeed must have no pride. I guess the term "too easy" just isn't in your vocabulary, unless you're talking about your sister.
Sad, really.
First, I doubt you possess the brainpower to see past that giant proboscis you have planted beneath your lone rheumy eye. To consider that you could think far enough ahead to set out "bait" is doubtful at best. Of course in theory, THEORY mind you, you might possess just enough intellect to pull it off. Not that I've noticed any evidence of it in your previous posts. But lets say I'm feeling generous today and I cede that point to you. This would lead us to my next observation.
Had any of us the tiniest smattering of pride, would we be here? Of course not. So whats your point, Boo-Hoo?
In closing, I wish only to state categorically that your repeated emails, phone calls, post cards, personal visits (and I should warn you, Boo-Boo, that outside Akron these "visits" are referred to as stalking), and general pestering about my female relatives will get you nowhere. Whatever innocent comment I may have made that you've chosen to misinterpret as a sign of hope that one of them might consider you a potential suitor, consider it all a mistake and a fallacy. Thanks to your sniveling and cajoling, they all hate me now more than they ever have, so even if I were inclined to help you (which I'm not... I hate them all right back, but there's a limit on how much suffering I'd wish on any living creature) I couldn't.
And that goes double for the cadavers in the family plot, Boo. Stay out!
Papa
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Joe needs no misspelling to have insolence heaped upon his aged noggin. It's a given.Originally posted by Panzer Leader:Hmm, only one name on that list spelt correctly. Altogether, I think they add up to: BROWN-NOSER!
[Editied to ask]
What's a biffy?
Oh, and biffy is slang for the loo.
Papa
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Here are a few suggestions. I'd try to settle myself down and offer more, but in my neck of the woods we refer to the gleeful state of mind and frenzied manner that accompany an opportunity like this as choking on the drool:Originally posted by Boo_Radley:How else would you spell "Dork"?
1) Joe Shaw
2) R_Late
3) Pantless Leader
4) Boo_Rattly
5) SomeNachos
6) All of the OddzStralians
7) BeerGut
8) Lard
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Is that the worn patch of carpet in your dorm room between the t.v. set and the biffy?Originally posted by Panzer Leader:With what? Oh, perhaps with that gaggle of geese waddling complacently across the road and into the woods, or into what I like to refer to as my "crossfire of doom."
Pantless, isn't it time for nurse Ratchett to administer your daily injection? You appear to be overdue.My PzIV, stout as it is, is hardly invulnerable, but it can definitely shake off the cans of spam and Lucky Strikes you've been hurling at it. ((Was that a Ronson tossed with the last pack of Lucky's? Why, I believe it was, and thar she blows!))
Tall words, Pantless. Not particularly veracious, but tall words nonetheless. Makes me wonder what sort of drivel you'd spout if you were actually winning (not that I'm likely to ever find out).Dalem you have found a good'un. A good'un for whipping that is. You ought to play him, even YOU might win (well, draw maybe.)Papa
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Pantless Leader, I am forced to ask two questions.Originally posted by Panzer Leader:As far as Papa Khann goes, well I met him, I engaged him, and I am now commencing the slaughter.
Dalem, get your 'weeping shoulder' warmed up, Papa Khann is comin' home with a bloody nose and a scraped knee. That is... if he makes it home.
1) How on earth did you finagle that Panzer IV with the titanium armor?
2) What game are you referring to? Certainly not the one in which you and I are currently engaged.
Admittedly, my Yanks have suffered a minor setback or two. But the towel thrown in? Hardly. Vengence may belong to the lord, but I'll still have your pantless arse hanging on the wall in my trophy room.
Papa
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Well, all right then! Let me be the first to rat him out. Back-stabbed in the finest traditions of the 'pool. Both our battles are/have been not ME's, but attacks. And him defending as the Germans, no less! Maybe you could forget to count them in the final tally? A couple of extra nights in the box couldn't hurt, either. I say this for his own good, you see. "New meat's got to learn the rules, same as everybody else. He got the box, 'cause he back talked to the man."Originally posted by R_Leete:</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:
Hey, speaking of, Papa Khann!!! Meeting engagements only, I believe was stipulated for your quest, hmm?
See what ragging on me (so I forgot to attach the turn. Sue me) gets you, Pop Can? Any more parameters you were supposed to use?</font>
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Wrong again, Boo-Hoo! The smoke you are referring to has considerably more flame associated with it.Originally posted by Boo_Radley:You say you created that smoke screen with your arty? I thought for sure it was just the regular smoke you blow out of that great spotty arse of yours.
Papa
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Yes, my Liege. I hear you and obey, my Liege.Originally posted by dalem:Hey, speaking of, Papa Khann!!! Git your butt over here and tell everyone how your games are going. Meeting engagements only, I believe was stipulated for your quest, hmm? So where are the anime-like splash pages of gore and gristle? --
Boo_Rattly - I cry foul!! I was assured that due to his incompetence as a battlefield commander, Boo-Boo is an easy game. Tis true, he is incompetent, but not nearly as incompetent as I had hoped. Maybe I can continue to hide behind that giant smoke screen I created with all of my artillery while I form a new plan of attack.
R_Late - He claims we're having some sort of email difficulties. I suspect the truth is somewhat different. He has grown to fear my superior tactical awareness and is hoping to delay the game until CM:BB is released and we both just forget about the whole thing.
Pantless Leader - It all looked so promising a turn ago. His panzer sat in flames. His infantry on my left was in rout. Now the gamey bastiche has retaliated and evened the score in the center. Why don't they ever realize when my superior tactical awareness has bested them and just lay down like the dogs they are and surrender? Oh bother.
Nobutt - Has started whining about how the computer generated forces aren't fair because I appear to have more boxy things with big pointy things sticking out of them than he does. Of course it appears that way to you, Nobutt. You who cannot appreciate the intricate and brilliant workings of my superior tactical awareness. If you had a butt, I'd tell you to prepare to kiss it good-bye.
Joe - What can I say? Panzer Armee Khann in all it's splendor and glory, about to be bested by Joe and his bleedin' Frogs. I'll just saunter over to The Box and inter myself, my Liege. I have failed you and I have failed House Persiflage.
Papa
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I can't think of anything funny to post either. So I thought I'd resort to the time-honored tradition of taking a cheap shot at Boo-Boo. Here goes.Originally posted by Boo_Radley:SSSSSsssss! Misssssing movessss are we? E-mailssss not getting through, Precioussss????
We hatesss MSSSSSSN, FOREVER!
[serious] Anyone who has been waiting for a move from me for over a day or so, let me know. My ISP has been screwing with me for the last week.[/serious]]
{unserious}And has that helped to alleviate your loneliness?{/unserious}
Papa
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Ok. I expect a strange turn of events in the next file. (What, you actually put some thought into this turn?)Originally posted by R_Leete:Expect a strange turn of events in the next file.
However, I'd like to point out, Are_Late, that this whole "have CM, want to play game" thing we're having a go at would flow much more smoothly if you'd kindly:
1) Stop pattering on about how "Oh this turn is a doozy" and "Oh what fun you'll have when and if I ever get around to emailing this turn to you"
2) FOR THE LOVE OF PETE STUFF A CORK IN IT AND SEND ME MY BLEEDIN' TURN, YOU DOLT
Papa
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As a matter of fact, it often works better to actually do the sending yourself, when it is your damn move, Pop Korn. I don't give a rat's a$$ (which is far better than you deserve, anyway), what you want. I want to live a life of decadent luxury, but it ain't gonna happen, either.</font>Originally posted by R_Leete:</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Papa Khann:
I'm not greedy. Just forget about everyone else and send me what I need. For instance, A "FECKING" TURN.
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Goes with that big metal plate in your head then, eh Joe? And those replacement hips and knees and, um, "other things" you've got; did you get those before plastics were invented or after?Originally posted by Joe Shaw:It's a damned good thing for you lot that I've some steel in my backbone.
Better be careful, Joe, you're going to start setting off the metal detectors when you drive past the airport.
Papa
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Well, you appear to be drawing breath anyway. Whether you're sentient or not remains to be seen.Originally posted by Pantless Leader:
I'm ALIVE!
P.S.
It would look more convincing if you stood up straight and stopped dragging your knuckles on the ground when you walk.
I'm waiting my "fecking" turn, oh Pantless one. I've been waiting my "fecking" turn quite patiently FOR DAYS AND DAYS.Cable guy apparently knew what he was doing - roadrunner fired right up without a hitch! Gotta love ethernet.
Seanachai, send me a turn.
O' Superior Yeknod, your gamey game criteria are fine by me, shoot me a set-up. And remember: the gamier you skew the game into your favor, the more I will relish beating the pants off you.
The rest of you (and you know who you are) yes I SEE the damn emails. Just wait your fecking turn.
I'm not greedy. Just forget about everyone else and send me what I need. For instance, A "FECKING" TURN. After that, you can go putter about with SomeNachos and YesNodUhhuh and the rest of your high school shop class dropouts.
Papa
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I think he should get another chance, but be made to perform some form of penance. Say, 1000 words on why he aspires to be the pissboy of us all.Originally posted by Joe Shaw:What say you lads, I'm of the opinion that he needs to be sent to Coventry and thus, if such is ordered, no member of the CessPool shall be allowed to respond to any posts of his made in the CessPool.
Before taking that drastic step, and posting the edict for final review by members of the CessPool, I am taking this unofficial poll ... Coventry ... or another chance?
Joe
Wait, I doubt Ass Master knows 1000 words. Plus then we'd be stuck listening to him prattle on for far too long.
How about 500 words?
Papa
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Tarnation! Just like an Aussie to go and pull a (shudder) valid excuse out of his pocket. Curses!Originally posted by Mace:9 weeks? A major issue for you, not a problem for me.
I just happen to be one of those [em]CMBB[/em] beta-testers that you've no doubt read about. (you know: dashing, intelligent, good looking, great personality, witty, charismatic, and the sort of bloke the ewes just love being around).
Why I bet you're just wishing you'll be like me when you grow up (in the interim however feel free to grovel and paw at my feet).
Mace
PS the tournament will have to wait, busy, see above!
Ok, Mace, you're off the hook. Temporarily. Now back into your cell and no more poking your head out until CM:BB beta is closed.
Papa
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Excellent. Only that will take up to an additional 9 weeks. Try checking a calendar, you wonk. Or better yet, learn to read (I'll bet you just looked at the picture in that press release, didn't you?).Originally posted by Mace:
I look forward to kicking your collective arses on the Eastern Front.
Mace
Or better yet, watch me slap you silly in the First Semi-Irregular Great CessPool House Tourney! A setup is on its way to you. Being the most integral component of Panzer Armee Khann, I shall play the Axis, you the Allies. Prepare to meet your downfall for the greater glory of House Persiflage and my superior tactical awareness.
Papa
P.S.
Does anyone else suspect Joe worked the term Irregular into the title of his tourney because he's having another one of those days?
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</font>Originally posted by Papa Khann:
And I still say we should have taken the money!
That is, until I found out that the money was indeed part of a package deal with the "huge tracts of land". This of course can only mean one thing. Gates is trying to unload Canada and Australia.
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />
Originally posted by Berlichtingen:
Is it just me, or does it seem that Papa Smurf is unaware of the Holy Movie and this reference went wizzing over his head?
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Capt, I say this with complete and total honestly, from the bottom of my heart (whereverOriginally posted by The_Capt:Oh Papa...
I know you hold your macho persona in front of you like a shield.
Let it drop and show the world your tender loins o' Papa.
Let all see what makes you tick and tock inside.
C'mon share with us all...
it is), without ill intention or malice, in complete harmony with myself and the universe...
You scare me.
Papa
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Gee, Bonana, thanks loads (no pun intended) for the scatology. I realize that for one of your limited intelligence, it must be fascinating to probe the inner depths of your anatomy and examine what you find there. However, on behalf of the Pool, I'd like to take this opportunity to BEG YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD to spare us having to listen to you prattle on about it.Originally posted by Goanna:That's bold talk from a one-eyed fat man.
I have stiffer chunks in my scat than Pusswad Armee is likely to demonstrate in its resolve to do anything other than become this month's poster child for serial posting SSN.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to drop in at the local clinic and inquire as to the possibility of having the last few hours of my memory wiped. I want to be able to sleep tonight.
Papa
P.S.
And don't knock one-eyed fat men. Some of the great figures of history have been one-eyed fat men. And from what I hear this Berli fellow isn't ALL bad either.
[ July 12, 2002, 12:00 AM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]
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Excellent. I'll stand right behind you.Originally posted by The_Capt:some snippage
I am to stand in front of you all as a repentant sinner. A Lost Soul who has come to the light like a moth to the flame.
Now if you'll just step a bit closer to the flames....
Papa
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Goanna. What the h*ll sort of name is Goanna anyway? Were you trying to cheer your sister on in a footrace? (And given the likes of AJ, Noba, Mace, and the rest of your inbred lot, lord knows the poor girl would have good reason to RUN FOR HER LIFE.)Originally posted by Goanna:
I can neither confirm nor deny that I second that request, Joe.
Stuka's that is, as I think Poophead Kant should also be sent to Coventry.
Oh bother. I suppose I should just let you off with a warning this time, Go-NaNa. But mind your manners, lest I be forced to exercise my superior tactical awareness and unleash the fury of Panzer Armee Khann upon you and your unfortunate mistaken-for-a-rest-stop-by-the-skipper-of-the-prison-ship continent.
Papa
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Actually, I remember one post where I made only 53.1 hard core references to your be(sotted)loved homeland.Originally posted by AussieJeff:
Gee, your fascination with Oz seems to no know bounds, does it? Is there a post of yours that <U>DOESN'T</U> contain at least 53.2 hard core references to our super-cleaned, swift-shorned, ultra-sunnied, azure-skied, crystal-watered, solid-economied, fantastic-surfed, warm-personalitied, best-cricketered, champion-footballered, best-actored, best-movied, best-directored, great-leadered and above all - <BIG><BIG>HUMBLE-PEOPLED</BIG></BIG> nation??
What's that? You AGREE TOTALLY with this healthy prognosis of your affliction? Perhaps you DO have at least 1 wise cell floating around in that vacuum you call a brain. Then again......
Still and in all, you are on the rite track and I'm sure your Pakistani Government wallahs won't mind if you hitch a ride on an Oz bound reffers boat. You will be assured of a warm reception and be <STRIKE>hospitalised</STRIKE> hospitably accomodated at one of our AAA Rated Holiday <STRIKE>Kampfs</STRIKE> Camps.
Cheeeeeeeeers,
AJ
I may not have been feeling well that day.
Papa
[ July 11, 2002, 11:13 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]
The Death Clock of the PENG CHALLENGE Thread Tolls for Thee
in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)
Posted
Papa