Seanachai

That it's Lesbian soft porn? Not really relevant to anything but the Thread was drifting toward the bottom of the page and we can't have that. Joe </font>

You bastards. Look down upon me, oh you gods, and never question why I have dedicated my life to destroying these selfish pillocks as a people...

Far be it from me to judge, or even question, another man's taste in video fare, but Joe, I seriously feel you compromise the Office of the Justicariate when you share this sort of info with the mouth-breathing masses. I myself, with a shudder, might quietly turn away from your confession of an interest in 'dog upon dog upon dog' action, but some of our more emotionally disturbed and simplistic readers might need a good shot from a garden hose after reading your response to the good-natured dismissal of Dalem as an annoying pillock that I previously posted. By the way, Joe, I'm back. Back from Canada. Glorious Canada. A land rich in natural beauty, and, of course, seriously infested with Canadians. Bloody cold, though. I think I froze my dangly bits. And no fecking fish to speak of, or even curse loudly. Can't blame the fish, though, as me 'Step Dad' insisted on bringing out the fecking launch, rather than an honest, 18 foot fishing boat. What's the point of fishing if you're doing it from some piece o' ****e that's like a monument to conspicuous consumption, and makes you feel like you're fishing out of someone's living room? Bollocks. Puts me in mind of the idea that I should take the Minnesota Miscreants up to Lake of the Woods for a fishing Bacchanalia.

You listen to AC/DC? What the hell, were you actually raised by rats?! I've always previously suggested that simply to annoy you. I had no idea it might be true.

Well, yes, Dalem, we all realize that many primitive peoples held interesting beliefs regarding 'imbibing' the essence of an enemy. You know, eating an enemy's heart to absorb his 'courage', or, in the case you've posited, eating the brains of someone such as myself, so much more demonstrably wiser, wittier and intelligent than yourself that the act of cannibalism amounts to an animistic attempt at a 'System Upgrade'. Who could blame you for wanting to be more than you are, given how little that is? I forgive you your desire to be all that you can be, although the only way that could be more than 'complete ****e' is by the act of devouring me in a pitiful attempt to 'be all that I, in fact, am, rather than what you are.' Now, then, when shall we have a beer, and discuss the fact that clubbing you to death like a deformed seal pup represents an act of proper stewardship over the human race, you fuzzy-witted Neo-Con whore?

Dear God, Elvis, tell the wife that even Groucho took his cigar out of his mouth occasionally. What is this, your 14th child since we started the Peng Challenge Thread? Remember, it's Shaw that lives a Utah, by Smith and Moroni.

Normally I would require, nay, demand that Australia undergo a complete embargo of all Combat Mission products as just punishment for being a gang of pointless, primitive pouched mammals with a made up language and a vicious unwillingness to export their export quality beers. But if I did, then they wouldn't have the means by which I might humiliate, rend, and crush each and every one of them. So I guess sales should continue.

And people wonder why we have to shoot dingoes... </font>

And people wonder why we have to shoot dingoes...

What's more astonishing is how you've posted complete, unsupported gibberish as though you were handing down holy writ. What is it you were attempting to say?

Wow. You used to be so much more whimsical. Are you going like me? I mean, you have so much going for you, other than being a complete pillock as regards your level of political comfort. Don't do it, Dalem. Don't forsake whimsy for anger. Especially as you can't pull it off, given your horrible and hateful political stances. Really, lad. You shouldn't have spent so much time posting on the General Forum like a poster child for the Wannsee Conference.

Silence, Knave! Boo will manage things up a treat. Do you wish to benefit all mankind by your mockery? Then head over to the GF and a tell that absolute shower Jon J Rambo how much you simply don't respect him. He may be very young. But even so, he needs to be told to simply 'shut the feck up'. By the by, I apologize to Slapdragon for telling him to 'shut the feck up.' I felt bad about that. I mean, I wish I'd abused Slapdragon in a way commensurate with his ability to annoy. And as befits a creature of his standing. Apologies, Slappy, for pissing on you from less than a considerable height. You bugger.

Firstly, let me say, that had I found the 'Precious' my only concern would have been to keep it from you, you load. Next, had I crawled off under a mountain for two hundred years, I'd still be sharper, more witty, and better spoken than you, no matter how many times I had to scrabble around to find 'my Precious' in the dark, you absolute fecking pillock. Finally, let me say, that unless you drive down to my house this Friday, and pick me up, and take me to a Brew Pub, and buy me all sorts of good and great things, not to mention a 'Growler' to go home with, I will haunt your fecking very nice house like a horrible spirit. Or like Papa Khann, who is not like a horrible spirit, unless you're a very bad person, and then he shows up to tell you that you're a horrible person, and then you are, and he haunts you like a horrible spirit. You ****e.

Global Village tripe? You suppository. You waxy, bullet-shaped thumb length bit o' complete idiocy. I've lived long enough to drink bloody well anything you can come up with, and smirk at you afterwards, you 'Answer to Every Fat Bastard's Dream of a Surly but Suppliant Pool Boy'. Perhaps Friday? You do know it was just my Birthday, don't you, you sorry sack o'****e?

So, another jolly sing song, then, eh? On the last day of Pompeii Thought I heard some poor boy say Oh wow man if I knew then what I know now I would've done more been more than I been Had fun more sinned more mortal sin Oh wow If I knew then what I know now I would've sent back that steak that was so overdone Grabbed that big break while there was time time time Made my life into a fantasy Hot stuff for me to remember remember And now that I'm a goner All that lava rushin' 'round the corner Oh wow I ain't complainin' only thinkin out loud You know that my life would be different my love would be different If I knew then what I know now My life would be different my love would be different If I knew then what I know now On the last day of Pompeii Thought I heard some poor girl say Oh wow man if I knew then what I know now I could've taken up the slide trombone Had a garden and grew my own Oh wow man If I knew then what I know now I knew I should've taken that Mediterranean cruise Filled up on chocolate, cigarettes and booze Given some perfect stranger the blues Hot stuff for me, all that stuff, speakin of hot stuff And when Vesuvio came to call Arrivaderci I'd've had a ball [i'd've had it all] Oh wow man I ain't complainin' only thinkin' out loud You know that my life would be different my love would be different If I knew then what I know now My life would be different my love would be different If I knew then what I know now My life would be -- man, my wife would be -- If I knew then what I know now Ciao Last Day of Pompeii -Michael Smith

Stuff it, you whiney ponce. You want to sing politics you pick up the phone and call me and we can call each other crazy to our faces. Or ears. Or whatever various parts we may hold the phone to when the other crazy person is speaking. But don't do it in here, you fewmet fondler. ---------- Clearly something needs to be done, and that done is me. I am already the Lord High Hullabalooster in these here parts, but now I am also declaring myself the Chief Political Officer of the Cesspool. The slightest hint of political politicization will drive me into a frenzy of apolitical posturizations like blood to a shark. So you may of course abbreviate my new title to "CPO Sharky" as needed. </font>

Sigh, you're right Joe. My apologies to all. Sorry, but I can barely go into the GF on issues like this, because I imagine Moon, Madmatt or what have you can't go on giving me simple months bans, and might have to get really tough and have me killed. I shall attempt to restrain from politicization. But you know, Joe...when you hear what's coming out, when you see even the little that we've been allowed to see, when you see the fingers pointing in a circle with each and everyone blaming someone else, and with no indication that anyone but the first circle of fools will suffer...it's hard to not go ballistic on any stage you have access to. But I shall be strong, Joe. I won't point out that that glorious patriot, Rumsfeld, not only knew what was going on for months, but that when asked about it all, he lied to America. Not because he was covering his arse, nor because he wanted to protect the Administration, nor to keep from inflaming the situation in the MidEast, but because, as is so indicative of this Administration, he simply didn't feel like he owed the truth to anyone. And I shall refrain, Joe in other ways too numerous to go into, including... But I digress. I do, in full fellowship, and without tongue behind anything besides my teeth, ask MrSpkr's pardon. Pax, eh? One thing that has come to me, over the last few days, is that the people I truly hate neither know nor care that I exist, and if confronted with my existence and my concerns, they'd simply laugh. And that has led me to realize that one of the main things that keeps America, as a concept, weak, is the endless anger and infighting that's encouraged between people with differing values and political views. Because the last thing the Powers That Are want is for all of us to have an actual dialogue. The less people think, the easier they are to lead. And the more angry people are with those who disagree with them, the easier it is for the people who create those disagreements to keep them preoccupied and ineffectual. So, MrSpkr, I hold out to you the paw of reconciliation. Just you keep focused on it, laddie, and pay no attention to what my boot's about to do... Seriously, we are all equals here. Well, except for the infestation of vermin that periodically appear here, and cause the rest of us to scratch and shift in an uncomfortable, yet bored way, before they either depart, or are weaned away from a tendency to cling to pubic hair dreaming about the days when they were passed from college student to college student while touring Europe by train...

Crap. Yesterday, being Mother's Day, I met with family members and mentioned that I was considering fleeing the State to inflict myself on northern Illinois. Now, my family having known me all my life, you'd normally think that the response would be 'You go, boy! Leave Minnesota! Descend upon Northern Illinois like a one creature SARS epidemic! Punish the vile Chicagoans! Can we pay for your gas, food, do you have a place to stay, or could we arrange one? And don't hurry back. You know we'll always be here for you, even if you decide to stay there for the next decade or so...' Instead, I'm told that my presence is required in the Great Northland for the next couple of weeks. Something about parental health issues, and needing a someone who has no fecking life or any other purpose of existence in order to help out with a number of things that need to be done, and to help out with medium-heavy lifting (not unlike reading my prose). So I must postpone my trip to Northern Illinois (why does he keep saying that, you ask yourself? Why does he keep making a point of going to Northern Illinois? It's because, gentle reader, southern illinois is more than a bit like going to Alabama, or Mississippi, but not as pretty. The two parts of the State are so dissimilar as to make you feel like you should bring your passport with you if you venture south of Peoria...). I will be trying to get to Northern Illinois either at the end of this month, or very early June. I will keep that utter swine Berlichtigen informed. He says I can't stay with him, though. Something about the fact that my allergies to dogs will almost certainly result in my death the first evening because he actually plans to comb the dogs in any room that I might even have thought about sleeping in. Oddly, though, I have other friends in Northern Illinois. Old friends. Long time friends. Friends I haven't seen for several years. Almost long enough, in fact, that they may have let the Court Orders lapse. And their hearts will probably have softened. They'll relent, I feel sure. I mean, you buggers read what I have to say all the time, eh? And how many could turn me away if I showed up on your doorstep late on a Friday night? I mean, provided I wasn't wearing my underwear on my head, and singing Pogues songs (badly). And what if I brought beer? Really, really great beer! Like Jesus would have drunk! How bout then, huh? You're right, I should see what that portion of baja Wisconsin has in the way of cheap motels...

Okay, I shall make my way to Northern Illinois after this Mother's Day weekend. There I shall get caught up with friends long abandoned, and bereft, and hang out with complete scum like Berli, Moriarity, Bauhaus, and, possibly, that sick bugger, Rune. Anyone need to sing some Dylan songs with the UberGnome? Because he's going to be on display in North Illinois this next weekend. Dalem, you sick feck, what are you doing? Wanna drive down to see the Heraldites?

After reading this, I sat, for a long time, and reflected. As you should have, you fecking fools. And then I wept. I weep easy, these days. There's too much arrogance, and not enough beauty, as far as I can tell. It makes weeping easy. The apple trees are blooming, and you walk and see them, and they are simply a wonder. Like great clouds of white, blossoms refulgent, and more beautiful than anything you can explain. And then I consider you shower. And I cast my mind back to anything you've ever said... And you all come up short. I would like to put forward ny own, large, thuggish henchman Boo Radley as a juniour to Justice. I think that he knows from which bell justice rings. Not like the fecking pictures we're seeing from Iraq. Who can smile and do a thumbs up while you're photographing yourself being a complete asshole?' It's degrading. I've never been so humiliated to be an American. What are we all supposed to make of that? What can I take from a soldier doing a 'thumb's up' while crouching atop a hooded, naked prisoner? That's not America. That's not my America. That's not the America that I endlessly argue about with people on this board. Is that what America has become under this Administration? I'm sorry, but I come from an afternoon of watching my sister throw-up while she attempts to kick cancer in the fecking balls, and then I see...what? I see America degraded...DEGRADED. I see America degraded by Americans. And I see the people who can't be bothered to admit that they knew it all along...that simply shrug...that thought to themselves, all along 'that's what I want to get out of this war'.. So, MrSpkr, how bout you come here, and you explain to us how it's important for America to degrade both Itself and prisoners under it's authority for...what? Sorry. I don't drag politics in here, normally. But I have never been so sickened as by what I've seen recently. So, MrSpkr, I'm sure that you can justify the current Administration...and their conduct of the war...and what's recently been revealed...without batting an eye. Eh? Because if you can't, you know, If you can't reconcile your vision of the War we've entered into, with any vision of justice...well, then I'm sure that you're going to jump right up here and be horrified with what Arrogance, out of Power has led us to. Aren't you? What will this Presidency give the world next? A commercial where armed American soldiers stand over bound prisoners forced to masturbate into the mouths of other bound prisoners, while some Pop group sings 'I'd like to buy the World a Choke"? At what point do we stop dancing around the issue of arrogance, and just kneel and pray? At what point do we close our eyes, and ask for forgivnance? At what point do we simply admit to ourselves, and tell the rest of the world 'We're the World's only Super Power, and We Are Going to Do Whatever We Like, No Matter How Sickening It Becomes'? Is that what Democracy is all about? Is that what we've been reduced to? Is that the Freedom we've brought to the brutalized masses suffering under Saddam Hussein's dictatorship?

Admit it, you worship my every excessive flight of verbal fancy as though I was a god, you silly litle bugger. </font>

Oh, yes. I remember this. It was one of those 'Challeng' things. 'Anyone want to play...' Jesus fecking Christ...I'm listening to Tom Waits really loud and I can't find it, anywhere in my heart, to allow you to play a game here. You're not engaging me. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Amuse me. Isn't that what's all about? I mean...take a moment to think about it...I mean, I challenged Peng to a game...and then the rest of you

Piss off, you wolf-fondling pseudo-Swede opionated piece of ****e. Good to see you back. Wasn't that Board Mandated Time Out a Piece o' ****e? You Prick.

Admit it, you worship my every excessive flight of verbal fancy as though I was a god, you silly litle bugger.

Brrrraaaannnnnnggggggggg! You just said the secret word! You have just won an all expense paid weekend in Loma Linda, California! Congratulations! !!!!! [extra exclamation points left over from the construction of this post] Michael </font>