Seanachai

You lot...bore me. There is no one here can contend with me. Where is Satan, and all his little wizards? In the clear light of day, the only thing we need to fear is — sunrise. Where is Lucifer? Where is the Dark One, wreathed in light?

What were your objections? Were they soundly based in how the Director and the writing staff willfully, and often pointlessly, deviated from the original story-line? Were they based on how your vision of the novels weren't fulfilled by the screen adaptation? Were they based on how the casting didn't meet your expectations, and how disappointed you were that your own visions of the characters weren't met by what the film presented to you? Did the dialogue lack? In what ways? Did this disappoint your expectations of what a Fantasy film should be all about, or simply lack, in terms of what you look for in a movie (doubtless a rousing tribute to the heroism of Rush Limbaugh's drug career)? Christ, I've run over things that squeaked a better opinion as they were flattened. Ass! I don't care how limp it might be, extend something more to us than your clammy thumb's down, you pitiful lump...

I imagine there are dimmer Cheery Wafflers...I just so often hope there aren't.

Well, yes, lad, I do understand what you're saying, mostly. But that's only because of my vast intellect, overwhelming patience, and sheer bloody-mindedness. It's just that you'll do so much better if you get off your knees and stop scrawling your posts in the dirt with a stick. Mind, we're happy that you're not simply squatting and finger painting them on the wall with your own waste, but it still makes you look like a lazy and stupid pillock, and that can't be the face you want to present, is it? Not amongst all these very canny and well-spoken individuals discussing history, weapons, and war-gaming? Eh?

That wouldn't work! It'd take two of you bloody Russians to figure out how to set off the detonator, with a commissar along to make sure you got the rallying cry correct. It'd be one Tiger tank to kill every three Russians. Be fair! And, er, Mr. Krupp fella, all kidding aside, ever take a look at the surrender stats for German troops on the Western Front (to use the cliche)? It didn't take 2 to 1 odds to achieve all of those. Your generalization was more than a bit along the lines of 'Italian troops were incompetent and cowardly', 'the French surrendered rather than miss lunch', and 'Australian troops were known for attacking settlers and eating babies'. No, wait! One of those statements actually involves dingoes. I'll leave it up to you which one to apply it to. [ June 26, 2004, 11:39 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Did I call him a Neo-Nazi? I did not! Didn't sound remotely like a Neo-Nazi. I called him a bloody German-cuddler, all the time cozying up to that Teutonic warriour cult thingy, Millenium hand and shrimp, buggrit! But look! He's apologized! Everyone rush forward to put the boot in! Then someone help him up and give him a bloody beer, eh?

And I'm a better man for it...

That wasn't too bad. A lot better than that humiliating repetition of...well, 'repitition'. Of course, he's Australian. Possibly he was so filthy drunk that he actually thought he was 'teaching us all a lesson'. Do you know, Goanna, Eldest Australian, hasn't been around here in a Yeknod's age. I'm thinking we're going to have to turn 'managing the bloody Australians' over to Mace. Next most seniour, and he can find his own crotch 2 times out of 3, provided no one else is already touching it...

Why were you in England, eh? A setup, at your rather punitively stupid convenience.

You need so much instruction on writing poetry. But you seem to have grasped some vague essentials... Unless, of course, you're just...talking like an annoying Auusie bastard. Was there a moment when you looked towards the horizon, and thought 'I'm saying this for everyone, because it's what people should say, if they thought about it long enough'? Or did you just think: 'That bastard Seanachai has called me, by extension, a very small puddle of dingo piss. Roight! Let's go insult him to the very best of my rather limited ability!'

From rare snippets of coherent thought that have escaped from various <font size=1>penguins</font size=1>, I had the impression that you send turns at, shall we say politely, a glacial pace. I've always assumed that by now you have some almost-completed CMBO games, some halfway-completed CMBB games, and some barely-started CMAK games. Are you claiming that you have actually completed games? This calls for a complete reevaluation of your turn-sending SKILZ!! </font>

You stopped talking about us because of the tissues you go through thinking how OUR team WHOPPED your team TWICE in Grand Finals... </font>

Yes, but it's never too late, or too soon, to learn punctuation, capitalization, and proper English. Eventually your pecker will fall off, or at least become completely meaningless other than for waste elimination (and, as you get older, even that will be a challenge), but the ability to write, discuss and dazzle others with your erudition might see you through the dark years after your completely uninteresting 'Mr. Floppy' has gone to that great rubbish bin in the sky (almost invariably, long before you do). All studies show that those who use their minds daily, thoroughly, and intricately stave off senile dementia and Alzheimer's better than those who simply phone it in.

Oh, bibles. No problem there, I've got a half dozen of the buggers around here. What I need is one on the machine, so that it's completely searchable. Good lord, who doesn't have access to any number of bibles? Hell, I didn't even have to steal the damn things. People like me get constantly given them simply by the way we look when we walk down the street.

I'm almost certain there's something in Leviticus against Jews wearing spandex. Damn...I am going to have to get myself one of those really, really good CD-ROM bible translations...

You're going to be in Minneapolis this week? What the hell is the Department of Homeland security good for if Minnesotans aren't warned of potential terrorism? I guess there were no crises of confidence in the abilities of the Administration this week, so no Terrorism Warning was issued.

Of course you do. Do you know what you get if you keep an Australian away from beer for too long? An Englishman. Once they sober up, they can't even communicate with each other.

True. Want to make something of it, you, you — you expectant father you?!

You'll find they do little else. </font>

And Outer Boarders who wander in to declaim things like this have far too much space between their ears, that they attempt to fill up with the sound of their own voice. Fortunately the emptiness provides echoes that make it easier for them, as they don't have to come up with much original material. You really are clueless, aren't you? You must teach graduate study courses. Real teachers are too busy trying to actually get people to grasp things and make something of the Real World... I would be willing to bet that, without question, the sheer number of games played by the people here, if placed against all the number of games of CM ever played, would actually amount to full percentage points, rather than some insignificant fraction. Factor in that our membership includes scenario designers and other contributors to the game, and I think you'll find that we're no more horrifying than all the rest of the lot involved with the Board. I would ask for people to be a little patient with lads like Bruceb. I imagine he has emotional scars and a past that has filled him with bitterness and anger. He probably needs our understanding. We're all capable of that, aren't we? A bit of understanding? We're listening, Bruceb. You can talk to us, lad. We're here for you.

Joe doesn't actually rig a scenario so that you can't win. He simply sets it up in such a way that you can never, ever enjoy it. It's not about winning or losing, it's about stress and fostering resentment and hostility.

You'll find they do little else. </font>

I wave my hand at your inaccurate generalisation. </font>

Yes, but when have you posted lately?!

Yes, yes, we all know that you are yearning to breathe free. You've probably attempted to post in the General Forum and found that your timorous bleatings weren't simply mocked, they were degraded. It's not going to be any different here. If anything, it's worse. But here, we're wiling to give you the chance to fight back. We're willing to listen to what you have to say. Provided you can say it in an amusing, witty, and thoughtful way. If the best you can do is another 'Yo, dudes, I've totally turned an enlarging mirror on me privates, and it appears to be massive..." Well, we simply don't fecking care. There are hierarchies here...they're so much piss. Don't let the authorities fool you. And you can trust me, because I'm one of the premier authorities. Eventually, the Justicar will show up to interview you. Always be polite. It's always a good thing in a person that intends to be viciously humorous and vile, arrogant and caustic, that they be well spoken to the man that takes their ticket, smiles at them, and goes on at length about his grandchildren. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we're all about arrogance. But we're not about being arseholes. You're subject to the rulings of the Justicar (they're not that onerous, given that he's as daft as a brush), and the Olde Ones look down upon you all. It was all about the Challenge, at some point. Now, it's all about what you have to say. Say something amusing. Pointed. Quote until the gods come down and kick that ass Hortlund up one side, and down the other. Amuse us. Is that so much to ask? Oh, and although they have all fled, never fail in respecting the Ladies of the 'Pool. Not like that fecking arse, rleete. When are you going to ask them to 'touch it, touch it, you know you want to!' you idjit? Jesus. I hope the wife gets over being pregnant soon...