Seanachai

Come now my children, and to you I will sing A song about buggery, a very rude thing You can bugger all creatures that lope slink or crawl But the Hedgehog can never be buggered at all. ... Now they say that old Noah, he did 'em in pairs He buggered the sheep, and he buggered the bears Up above on the deck, and below in their stalls But the Hedgehog he never could bugger at all

I imagine that quite soon we will see a day when the Vodka will deny Leeo three times...

You think too much. That is your trouble! Clever people and grocers, they weigh everything. That's a quote. I don't believe there's a single one of you that can come up with the source.

Bah! The 'Dyslexic, One Armed Poster' is simply an Australian variation on the 'Nigerian Email Scam'! Do not fall for this Scam! Do not give helpful insights to this obvious fraud! Do not send him your bank account number, your SSN#, or your mother's maiden name! He should at least give us an earnest of his intent. Rabidbvr: What is your pet's name? Huh? Huh?! Answer that, if you can!

Touch my intestines! Touch them!

Michael Emrys knows everything. Pity he's such a daft bastard. Still, he has entered into Our Mythology. And only idjit tribal Monotheists insist that their Mythology be regarded as Revealed, Historical Truth. Hence, Michael Emrys knows everything.

You couldn't handle the sight of my intestines, old man. They'd grin at you in a most disconcerting manner.

You mean the SC crowd? They are weak. No real bottom. And they gibber on about 'posting some good smack'. They couldn't post any real 'smack' if God the Father sent them on Crusade, and hurled down a host of angels armed with dictionaries, thesauri and the complete works of Shakespeare to accompany them. Amateurs. We do not need to advertise, Grog Dorosh. Try throwing the Ching while waiting for the next storm of disapproval.

Every being worthy of our respect reads Terry Pratchett. Trust no one who isn't a fan of the Discworld.

You are too filled with hate. Makes you weak, it does. Clouds your judgment, it does. Opens a path to the Dark Side, I think. Until you stand calm at the center of the Maelstrom of Hate, you will not be ready, my son.

Roight, then! Kudos to all you bastards who spammed my email box while I was on a well deserved vacation. Whether because MSN was trying to send a message to anyone who allowed 75+ emails to accumulate in their box, or because I'd accessed them originally from a remote location (although they were all left on the Server for later retrieval from home), or simply because MSN was getting into the jolly intent of it all, I had to force the delivery of every email. I've spent several hours hitting the 'retrieve all emails button', which usually resulted in either: 1) Nothing, or 2) One to four emails being downloaded, or 3) More nothing. I think I've got them all, now. You are all low, uncultured fornicators of swine. Special hugs and kisses to Rune and Noba for painfully large and utterly worthless file attachments that brought both myself and the mail delivery system to tears. I've made a list of everyone who participated in this merry jape. Believe me when I say that you are constantly in my thoughts. I do not believe in letting the worthy receive their reward in Heaven. I will make sure you get yours in this Life.

Well, I'm completely caught up on this Thread. The pain and boredom it induced were...exquisite. I think I'll go enjoy some more heatstroke. And how surprising. Tim has spent the time that I've been gone doing - why, exactly what I predicted he'd do. I think I'll break out the hugely expensive cigar my brother-in-law gave me, mix up a large rum and coke, and go sit out on the balcony celebrating being a modern day Prophet. I'll just have to steel myself to enjoy the balmy, 80 degree, low humidity day and the beautiful breeze. Heck, maybe I'll really treat myself and shout rude things at the golfers on the course a few yards away. Although the Management did ask me to stop taunting them...

Strange...this is exactly how Southerners and Aussies carry on. Interesting how closely related they are to bacteria.

Yadda yadda, vintage Tim. Comes in, creates annoyance by his presence, delights in getting people to choose up sides, quick to stir up discord and take advantage of it to create even more. Sucks up to anyone he think might take his side, shows his little teeth and yips at anyone else. Why is anyone shouting at Joe? He did nothing more than formalize what I'd already suggested and a number of the lads had signed off on. People should shout at me, if they like. I imagine Tim is not Gaylord. Kwazy assures us it is so. But that isn't the point. With every post of his I read, I think 'Oh, look, a Gaylord that's learned (somewhat) to spell, and form complete sentences. It was only a matter of time, after he and his little buddy Kuniworth tired of spamming the GF (and being warned about it in no uncertain terms) that one or the other of them, if not both, would show up here to attempt to be disruptive. And 'surprise', here he is. He was an annoying little pillock on the GF, and earned himself several warnings from the Mods, and only stopped because he was in danger of getting the boot. I, for one, have no interest in flinging wide my arms and clasping him to my breast when he shows up here, especially when I have every reason to believe that he's only doing so with the intent of choosing his moment for being nasty and disruptive. Anyone who wishes to speak with him may certainly go ahead. He's given me no reason to like him and his smirking hypocrisy in coming here to be one of a group he's denigrated and mocked elsewhere doesn't fill me with a new, wonderful feeling of 'Oh, look! He's all different now!' And frankly, anyone who constantly posts, calling everyone 'friends' with every line, is either a very serious Quaker, or a greasy little sneak. I don't presume to know what Tim is, but I can almost guarantee he's not a Quaker. So, Joe, consider your duty done and your hands quite clean. You shall be Pilate, and I shall be Herod. Now, then, in the interest of being 'fair' (I'm almost sure that's a violation of our charter; or would be, if we had one), are there indeed those who think that Tim the Enchanter is not here simply in the interest of causing trouble, and being a snarky little pest? I'd be interested to hear, because as far as I can see, that's all he's managed so far, and I don't see any intent to participate in this Thread for any other purpose. But if people think he should be given a chance, then by all means, let them say so. He's had his shot with me, so I certainly won't be responding to him here again.

Oh, look. Speedy's awake and active. There's a patch of barroom floor that'll actually have to be swept in the morning for lack of an Aussie to grace it...

I noticed. Get some new magazines. My Dentist has a better selection... You can't ignore me. Oh, you might try, but you're not strong enough. Within 48 hours of your beginning the newest attempt, I can see you sitting there in your apartment, fidgeting, jumping up to fuss with some book on 'uniform patches', getting up to clean the sink yet again, all the while mumbling 'Is he posting? Is he posting right now? What has he posted?'. Eventually, you run to the computer, log on, and feverishly search for my latest posts. If I haven't posted anything new, you re-read my recent posts. Your hands itch with the need to respond, if only to type 'Ha! I'm not reading your posts! I'm not responding to you! Do you understand me, Seanachai?! Do you hear what I'm saying? You're in Coventry!' Then you go back to fidgeting in your chair, mumbling 'has he posted yet?' Don't think of it as obsessive or needy, Grog Dorosh. It's the least pathological and most understandable aspect of your life. He didn't just cry, Michael. He spent at least 4 of those months also suffering from horrendous bed-wetting episodes and night terrors. You did. And a very good job you're making of it. Why, I feel positively cast into the outer darkness of your regard. Good show! Michael, I feel it's now safe to tell you the truth. You are more hated than I. You have achieved a great, seething mass of hatred. But do you see, that's not what matters. Because, Michael, I will always be Hated more thoroughly than you. I will be Hated with a sort of reverence. You will simply be hated. And that's not a bad thing, Michael. Indeed, it's a great achievement. But consider. All that vast bounty of hatred, and yet you still dance around me, chanting 'I'm more hated than you, Seanachai!' You see it, don't you? All that hatred, and yet you are not secure. They will build a throne for you, where you can crouch, receiving the hatred of all. And I will be in a corner of the courtyard, simply sweeping. And yet your eyes will be fixed upon me. The Board will ring with hatred for you, and you will still feel empty, and directionless. People will accept being banned, simply to tell you how much they hate you. And yet, your thoughts will ever stray to me. An aging figure of clownishness, pushing a broom, sweeping up the hatred flung your way by all and sundry. A gentle smile on my face, singing a jolly singsong under my breath. But I am the Master, Grog Dorosh. And you know it. I believe you did. You can practice it without losing sleep, as I will be gone for the next week.

Why is it none of you lackwits can seem to spell 'Papa Khann' correctly?

And where before all was darkness, a light shone out...

Well, Leeo's feet aren't probably used much, as he makes his way from fridge to desk chair to toilet on his hands and knees. His hands are probably massive, from tightly clenching the toilet rim to steady himself...

So what was stopping you? Your image couldn't be more compromised by a tutu, for godssakes. Quite in keeping with the rest of you. As what, a hog butcherer? Wonderful. Manicurists the world over are on their knees, offering up praise. But isn't this a bit like gilding a pig snout? When I return from my confrontation with Mickey, I shall expect a setup.

Well, just as glad that's done. Tim the Enchanter posted like a neutered poodle. Very unappealing. 'Smoke the peace pipe with me'. Dear God. That post wasn't simply an affront to Indians of this continent, it was an affront to those of the subcontinent, and it had nothing to do with them. Hell, it was an affront to Uzbeks.

*shudders* Mace </font>

To paraphrase: It takes a Village to hate Grog Dorosh... I assume you mean Marcus Tullius Cicero. If Kuniworth is yours, then you're only promoting the benefits of tyranny over republic. But perhaps you mean Cicero, Illinois. That would play into your whole 'made man' banter...

Ha! I've seen your picture on the GF, lad, and I've had pets put down that looked more acceptable, not to mention sober.

Oh, please. The people employed to pick up your recycling at 6 AM live in your neighbourhood, que? Hippies don't pick up recyclable trash at 6 AM. They may be the contact person if you call to complain about it. The people picking up Papa Khann's empties are hard-working, hard-drinking budding Republicans who're trying to send their kids to a decent school. That's if they've broken through the barrier against giving plum jobs like that to immigrants, rather than the established 'working poor'. On what planet in your Universe do 'activists' do the dirty work? And you call yourself a conservative...