Seanachai

I've been on and posting constantly since 7 AM this morning, you fecking Emigre bastard. For most of that time, I've been a perfect, parfait Knight. I'm a bit concerned about that last bit, because it seems to indicate something rather disturbing concerning dessert. But even if I'm mixed with cream, eggs, sugar, and served in a tall glass, I'm still more of a man than you lot will ever be!

Piss off, you Waffler bugger! I had to drive to a store to get my beer. My legitimate and largely coherent concerns have yet to be addressed. But I have my beer, so I can await my final response with a feeling of contentment and ease.

Oh Christ, not again. Now I need two beers, and I'm no closer to getting either of them by responding to prancing fools. Back shortly.

You tar me with the same tooth-brush you use to do your eyebrows. I do not 'giggle', you tool. I maintain a sober face of judgment. Most of you lot are so far gone in idiocy as to make me 'frown'. But... Oh, hell. Everyone...MAMBO! I actually do need to get another beer. I'll be back shortly.

Are they the ones that put the words in my head? If so, I honour them. But they are not the Very Highest Authority. I will not submit to less then the Very Highest Fecking Authority, Wearing a Hat and Giving Grog Dorosh the Finger as He so Obviously Deserves! Besides the fact that that's a Screenname that probably would break the Board, and contravenes it's highest principles of not abusing it's members, I am still waiting for Some Form of Extremely High Authority to Tell Me to Get Stuffed, all this by-play isn't getting me another beer, now is it? I, on the other hand, have no compunctions at all about abusing this fine community. But I am, seriously, in need of another beer. And I find that I'm going to have to drive for it. Piss about amongst yourselves until I return.

If you are speaking to me, you rather precious Canadian git, I've never been on this site as anyone other than myself. I cannot help how I'm approached. I am an annoying, horrible little man. I'm going off to get another beer. When I return, I imagine that I will once again have been addressed. By 'Something'. Bring it on. I am your worst nightmare. I'm a Gnome with a ready wit.

You are dismissed. Now, piss off! </font>

You're a meaningless nothing idiot. </font>

Don't get above yourself, though, lad. Being acknowledged by me is like being bitten by a rat. An interesting story for your friends, but not an actual accomplishment.

Bow before me. And wish Lars well, monkey! Man, you guys really need me. Otherwise, you're just yourselves, aren't you?

Yes, actually. Been sitting here all day working out a way to introduce it into a broader vision and concern with the Cosmos. I should have probably cited you, but I'm mostly insane, and often drunk.

Actually, I am. But you're not, so who's the coward now? </font>

Here, who's this idjit?! I'm not sure I like the cut of his jibe...gibbet...I'm not sure we're on the same page! pleased look That's right! I'm not sure he's on my page! puzzlement What book were we talking about? And who's this Hoolaman bugger?

Exactly! attempts to touch nose, and nearly puts out an eye... Just what I'm saying! blearily looks at the vast body of complete idjits that make up the internet community I'm just after saying! Where would an utter idjit like myself be, if he couldn't play PBEM against the CM community, eh? knowing look, somewhat marred by over-balancing and knocking the wine glass into the keyboard... I'm just saying! I was saying something, wasn't I?

You're not on Messenger, are you, Boo? Coward. I'm willing to put my privates up against anyone else's on the 'Pool! I am the consummate Commander!

I'd like to think I like you, but even a nearly complete nutter like myself is unsure. Where is Steve? Where is the Grammont?! All I want is to be told that I'm insane! I want the BFC equivalent of thorazine, godsdammit! I want to be told that even my most inane and ridiculous fears about a lack of PBEM are meaningless. Nothing. Idiocy. I'm used to being told that I'm a meaningless nothing idiot. But I insist on being told by those in authority! This is America, 2005! I insist on being dismissed by the Very Highest Authority. And I don't mean Dick Cheney! I want to be dismissed by an authority I can get behind. I'm not asking that much. I just want to have all my fears dismissed. Isn't that what Homeland Security is all about?!

A fecking marriage in a Warhol film couldn't be as painful as a Rune scenario. Pay no attention to that twisted feck behind the scenario curtain, Lars! But...I could see us doing a Rune scenario by way of celebrating your engagement....

That just might come in handy. Can you fill in for more than three people? </font>

Coy, sultry, and yet you still haven't sent a turn? I've seen your photo on the Justicar's site, Nidan, and you look like the nail that was driven into the Messiah's palm so that he could hang there for the amusement of the Marines! I know that I'm a horrible little man! Will you deny me?

hurt look All I want is to be reassured that I'm completely insane, GreenAsJade! It ill behooves a man of my stature to have to contemplate being 'almost' completely insane. I want to be told that there is no bloody way in the freaking Universe that PBEM will go away in CMX2, or made completely obsolescent. Now, be a good Grog, and either tell me that there's no way that PBEM will be undoable in CMX2, or give us a kiss! And Rleete, you East Coast bunny fondler, go to the Thread of threads, where I may abuse you in the way that you so truly deserve, or bugger off.

Truth be told, I'm almost completely insane. But I'm hearing some very disturbing things. I'm hearing remarks about PBEM going the way of the dinosaurs. I'm after hearing people that aren't complete idjits tell me that BFC is talking about tossing off the ability to play PBEM games like it was something as inane as having a preference for the colour 'blue'. I'm still on a dial-up. This game is my one, single link to a wider world of complete, fecking, bloody tossers. Will CM Bloody Whatever ignore my need to play the game against my so-called 'peers'? If so, why would I bother? Having suckered me into a horrible dependence on playing games against other human beings, why would I ever buy a game that took that away?

Lars is getting married! Everyone post a poem! Everyone sing? Everyone dance! Jesus, I think I'm gonna cry...

By the by, I dress up pretty well, and would be happy to stand in as a groomsman for any of your 'cousins' that just happen to be in jail at wedding time...

Gonna be another bad day to be in a wheelchair... </font>

Bugger. How to put this? SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP! SHUT THE FECK UP! I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR 12 HOURS, AND I'M DEAD DRUNK, AND YOU'RE POSTING, AND YOU'RE A COMPLETE AND UTTER FECKING HALFWIT! I'm trying to figure out a way to drive out to get more beer. The 'more beer' that your stupid, endless posts make me want to drink. A way that your 'stupid, endless, anxiously self-important' posts allow me to go get SOME MORE FECKING BEER, SO THAT YOUR ENDLESS ANNOYING FECKING POSTS DON'T MAKE ME THROW UP ON MY OWN SHOES...sorry. I think I hate you. I hate a lot of people. But don't let the ramblings of an old man keep you from every small scrap of kitten vomit and cat piss that you are, you whore! You should be everything you can be. No matter how little that is, you fecking ass!