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Joe Shaw

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  1. Upvote
    Joe Shaw got a reaction from GreenAsJade in The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder   
    You may be a Senior member on the Outreboards but you're less than nothing here so your insolent suggestion is dismissed with the contempt it deserves.
    And I strongly suspect that your mother lied to you about many things, not least your age. Furtherless there is no email address in your profile nor even a general location. Yes, yes it was in the rules ... or at least in one of the incarnations of the rules in the past 13 or so years. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

    Joe
  2. Upvote
    Joe Shaw got a reaction from GreenAsJade in The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder   
    In the beginning darkness enfolded the land and there was no joy to be had ... nay not even in Mudville ... and the people lamented their station and begged for a savior to come among them.

    Whether that happened or not is up to you I suppose but in lieu of the real thing Seanachai did stagger by and started ... THE THREAD! And the people saw it and said it was good. But then more people saw it, joined it and it became ... less good.

    So Seanachai called together the Olde Ones and said unto them ... "We need someone who will Champion the Peng Challenge Thread and will uphold the traditions and rules of the thread." And the Olde Ones agreed ... of course he was witholding the booze until they did agree but even so they agreed. "But who," they asked, " would be capable of handling such an enormous responsibility?"

    "There is only one man for the job," sayeth Seanachai to them, "Sir Joe Shaw."

    And so it was that Sir Joe Shaw became the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. And as Justicar he upheld the decrees of the Olde Ones and the traditions of the Peng Challenge Thread. And in time it became even greater, it became the M.B.T. the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the CessPool. And it was good. And Joe Shaw became not only the Justicar but the Justicar for LIFE of the Peng Challenge Thread and he determined that an assistant would be good, for Joe Shaw was frequently out of town on business.

    Lacking any suitable candidates he basically tossed a coin and asked Sir Boo Radley to join the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread as the Assistant Adjunct Alternate Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and Boo Radley, having failed in his bid for Assistant Home Room Monitor in 6th Grade, was only too thrilled to accept.

    Time proved this to be one of the worst decisions in the history of mankind but what can you do. So to salvage this situation YOUR Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread has once again come to your rescue with this new incarnation of the Thread that will never die. Here, therefore, are the RULES!

    J) Sod Off ... no really, if you're looking for a "hail fellow, well met" welcome you've come to the wrong place. This is a place for bile and torment and if you can't dish it out in a witty and engaging manner and then take more of the same best just trot off to the Outreboards and talk about armor spalling or something.

    O) Still haven't left? Are you missing a few brain cells? Well here's the deal, if you MUST stick around, and really we'd strongly advise you to Sod Off, then show that you have some game. No, not SKILL at Combat Mission, we could care less. Show some skill at taunting and flinging virtual feces around. Which brings me to ...

    E) Don't ACTUALLY fling feces and don't be flinging any racial or sexist comments about either. In fact just avoid any of the "isms." Here we don't care what you are or where you're from (unless you're from Australia in which case what the hell's the matter with you?) Here you are known by the content of your posts.

    S) So sound off like you have a pair but don't sound off ABOUT your pair if you get my drift. There are children present and even some technically adult children (I'm looking at you Emrys) and we wouldn't want to turn their shell like ears aflame ... unless in the case of Emrys the entire head was aflame.

    H) DON'T abuse the Ladies of the Pool, if they're willing to put up with us they are to be cherished.

    A) So find yourself some Serf or Squire and challenge them to a game of CM, then post the resulting hilarity here. Show some spunk, some verve, some panache and perhaps (you should BE so lucky) some down at the heels Knight will take pity on you and propose you as Serf to the CessPool and from that point it's up to you and Bob's your uncle. In the fullness of time you could be taken to Squire by a Knight and if you're found worthy (excuse me, I just spit coffee on my monitor) you TOO could be ... wait for it ... a Knight of the CessPool.

    W) Follow these rules and all will be well, follow them not and the membership could vote to send you to Coventry and none here will then respond to your posts.

    Or you could just Sod Off ...

    Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT
  3. Upvote
    Joe Shaw got a reaction from sburke in The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder   
    It does a man's heart good to see that he is, once again, correct in his judgement of others.

    I speak, of course, of that Most Loyal and Trustworthy Squire to the Shavian House, sburke. I've had some squires of talent in the past, young Aqua Perdido was always solicitous of my health and offered to hand me down from the curb to the street as it was icy. We weren't to know that there was an oncoming truck bearing down on us. Good thing I told him simply to lay in the street so I could cross by stepping on him and thus avoid the ice. He recovered nicely.

    Then there was the time he offered me some home baked cookies. I was so overwhelmed with his generosity and spirit of giving that I insisted he eat them himself as he was a growing young Squire. Sadly they had somehow been infused with strychnine but he didn't eat enough to warrant more than a couple of days in the hospital.

    But I digest ... sburke is yet another who will someday, and right shortly too, grace the ranks of the Shavian House and bring yet more glory to it's shining name. Well done, sburke, well done indeed. I am indeed proud of you.

    But all parents (and Lieges) must at some point realize that their young charges are no longer in need of instruction and are capable of venturing out into the world on their own. sburke is very near that milestone.

    I have long made it a policy that Squires to the Shavian House must not only complete my course of instruction but must also complete three battles against others before they gain their spurs. sburke has completed two battles. Should he complete the third I shall be privileged to make him a Knight of the Cesspool as is my right and obligation as his Liege and as a Seniour Knight of the Cesspool.

    So lay on with a will young sburke and defeat your next foe in the superb manner you've so far achieved. Do attempt to find someone worthy ... pretty clearly Watcher isn't ... big surprise, his Liege is NG Cavscout and they're both of House Rune {snicker}.

    Your Liege,
    Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT
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