MrSpkr Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I'm going for the manatee, with a side bet on a very disturbed donkey (what a way to go!) How about a cage match pitting Seanachai against BOTH a manatee and very disturbed donkey? Would that be on ESPN or is it more SHowtime fare? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I think it should be more international and I suggest replacing the manatee with a dugong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 No-one cares for your 'suggestions' Boo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Why don't you go run up an alley and holler "Fish!"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 How about a cage match pitting Seanachai against BOTH a manatee and very disturbed donkey? Would that be on ESPN or is it more SHowtime fare? Steve Are you talking Showtime Comedy or Documentary? And would the manatee and donkey be tag teaming it or both at the same time? It's clear you haven't spent enough time thinking this through. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 It's clear you haven't spent enough time thinking this through. You're assuming that he actually thinks. You sure you want to commit to that? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 A Gnome in the swamp? Deliverance.., without the banjos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Squeal like a Gnome? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Nice little snow storm we got going out there. Makes me think of good old Stuka-Nuka-Puka-Pants basking away in the sun and the sand of Kuwait. And of how much I truly hate him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Gentlemen (and, I hope, the Ladies of the 'Pool), remember to consider all the possibilities. We will be, hopefully, kayaking both areas like Rookery Bay, Johnson Bay, and the 10,000 Islands, which are saltwater/mangrove island adjuncts to the Gulf of Mexico, and hence, primarily a sheltered, reef & island oriented salt water marine environment. Also, hopefully, we'll be doing some paddling in the Everglades, which will run the gamut between mammals such as the afore-mentioned Everglades Puma, and the new, invasive species, the Burmese Python. Remember, I was once, almost successfully, attacked on the Rum River in Minnesota by a baby mink. I assure you that nature hates me every bit as much as you lot do. So, whether it be scorpions or centipedes, stingrays or hammerheads, pumas or raccoons, you need to place your bets now, as to what animal, fish, insect, bird, reptile or amphibian you think will savage Seanachai on his paddling trip into the waters of Southwestern Florida. Because, let's face it: Something is going to savage me. Why wouldn't they? I'm a Northern boy who can't stand the South. But I come by it honestly. In my early 20s I lived for over a year in Southern Florida. It was a hideous place of high temperatures, humidity, insects and failures from the upper East Coast. Quite probably there were actual Floridians there, who were, undoubtedly, quite horrible, but you basically never met them. What you met was New Yorkers, New Jerseys, Pennsylvanians, even Ohioans. All the detritus of humanity that got flushed out of the Northeast and swirled their way down to Florida. So, when I make my return, paddle in hand, I have absolutely 100% no doubt that I will be savaged, if not killed, by some form of south Florida lifeform And no, it will not be human. No ripped-off drug dealer, no disgruntled 'escort', no angry hobo or cheated businessman. I left Florida with a clean slate. Everybody was either happy, or no long worried about the concept. But Nature — Nature lies forever in wait. And it will have its due. Small Stakes Bettors: Go for Animal, Reptile, Insect, Fish, or Bird! Big Bettors: Pick the specific animal that will have a go at Seanachai! Black/Red goofballs: Pick 'savaged' or 'killed'! Sure bet coasters: Go for 'Drowned by Wind and Weather'. Get your money down! Do it NOW! Place your bets with the Justicar! Not with me, because I don't want to be accused of trying to influence the bet by, for example, smacking an alligator sharply on the snout, or leaping off into the water in front a mako! And, because reviewing the likelihood of death and destruction from purely natural sources might indicate bias, you WILL be allowed to choose the human option: Run Over by a Motorboat! But, because this is fairly likely, you'll have to choose the weight/hp of the craft! Will it be the High Speed Ferry to Key West, or a simple fishing boat rental with a drunkard from Cleveland at the wheel?! Christ on a Crutch! This should be a goddamn CARNIVAL! There should be mime artists, jugglers, food cart salesmen, street musicians wandering through here! There should be pick-pockets, con-men and prostitutes working the periphery! GENTLEMEN AND LADIES OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, I GIVE YOU THE GAME SHOW THAT DEFINES A GENERATION! THE BET THAT NO SANE MAN CAN TAKE UP, OR PASS BY! BLOOD SPORT THAT THE ROMANS WERE TOO SIMPLISTIC TO HAVE FORESEEN!!! All bets final. No bet honoured unless money received up front by the Justicar. Judgement of Colliers county coroner/local sheriff's department final. In case of 'savaging attack' not resulting in death, eye-witness determination by paddling friend A. Grey shall be held binding. Anyone placing a legitimate, winning bet that wasn't paid for up-front will be determined to have become either: a) The New Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread, or, if neither death nor coma resulted for Seanachai, Being the Most Seniour Knight Ever, with Extensive Bragging Rights beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 You Will Be Stung On The Neck By A Bee.....and You Will Cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 ...run the gamut between mammals such as the afore-mentioned Everglades Puma, and the new, invasive species, the Burmese Python. They also now have kamikaze iguanas: http://www.ktvu.com/irresistible/22166107/detail.html Christ on a Crutch! This should be a goddamn CARNIVAL! There should be mime artists, jugglers, food cart salesmen, street musicians wandering through here! There should be pick-pockets, con-men and prostitutes working the periphery! You've always had an over-inflated sense of your own dramatic potential, haven't you? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Squeal like a Gnome? [Tapping a hoof on the Illustrated Book of Gnome Behaviours...] When they squeal, it goes on for rather a long time.... and quite a bit before the event... [...tapping a hoof one more time...] ...takes ages for 'em to squeal out fully... rush of words, torrent of stuff... quite a feat of nature... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 You Will Be Stung On The Neck By A Bee.....and You Will Cry. Nipping your lines from fortune cookies now? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 ...takes ages for 'em to squeal out fully... rush of words, torrent of stuff... quite a feat of nature... That's called logorrhea. It has a great deal in common with the other kind. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 ... you need to place your bets now, ... If I recall correctly, before he was stabbed in the chest by an angry stingray, Steve Irwin went up against some sort of poisonous tree and lost the battle. It isn't a very glamourous injury, to be sure, but it seems fitting for a gnome to be injured by some form of flora. Maybe you'll trip on a vine, which will cause you to fall and sprain a joint (oh no, not the wrist!). The cheque is in the mail, Joe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 ... pointy hat down a Venus flytrap.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Vampire bats, leeches and mozzies - the Gnome will leave a trail of comatose blood-suckers bobbing in his wake (along with the rum bottles and cigar butts). With any luck, he'll catch Dengue fever or rabies (heh, hydrophobia would be poetic justice). Or a tropical strength case of jock itch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 If I recall correctly, before he was stabbed in the chest by an angry stingray, Steve Irwin went up against some sort of poisonous tree and lost the battle. It isn't a very glamourous injury, to be sure, but it seems fitting for a gnome to be injured by some form of flora. Maybe you'll trip on a vine, which will cause you to fall and sprain a joint (oh no, not the wrist!). The cheque is in the mail, Joe. I forgot about the flora! But there are, in fact, poisonous plants in the Everglades, beyond the simple 'He broke his neck on a vine'! FLORA, TOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 You've always had an over-inflated sense of your own dramatic potential, haven't you? Michael Michael, you sod. Over-inflated?! Do you think I do this simply for myself? I'm going to go paddle the Everglades to give you sorry sons-of-bitches something to look forward to. Dramatic potential? What the hell have YOU done, in all these last years, worthy of betting on?! Passing a kidney stone? I'm going SOUTH, you feck, potentially to die. Or, have a Great Adventure! Or both! Bard against beast, beast against bard! Wind, waves, powerboats, you name it! It's High Drama! I despair of you. I truly do. Emrys, You Horseman of the Apocalypso, you're only hanging on to see if I die before you! You know it to be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 You Will Be Stung On The Neck By A Bee.....and You Will Cry. Sod that for a lark, you Aussie feck. If I'm going to be stung, I will eat the insect that does so, see if I don't. Afraid to put a bet down, Stuka? All this time living in comfort in the worst places on earth, working for people who regard you as a heathen idjit (which is what you are, to be fair), and still unwilling to bet on my demise and/or savaging? I expected better of you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Ahem... Berli Berli Land There's a place so very far Most favored of the worlds that are missed by GWAR We can get there as long as it's by stolen car Smash your face and go shoot up There's a world of which I've heard Far beyond the sky A place of chicks and pills and booze A place where winners always lose You'll always hear your favorite band Here in Berli Berli Land Here in Berli Berli Land Nothing ever dies Except of course our enemies And they're attracting Berli flies Here in Berli Berli Land Everything is loud All the chicks are strippers All their father's proud Berli Berli land Berli Berli sea Berli Berli air Berli you and Berli me Berli Berli Berli Berli! x2 Heavy Berli Berli Land Here in Berli Berli Land Every day is night Except of course when night is day But then there is no light Here in Berli Berli Land Everything is rock Everyone is in a band Ever girl sucks every c*ck Here in Berli Berli Land Everything is hard Except of course the test you take To get a license for your car Bullet belts and denim jackets Crystal meth in tiny packets Witches, warlocks, demon seed Booze and cooze and weed and speed Berli Berli x16 Filthy hair and dirty faces Flying V's and swords and maces 80's hair bands are still hated No false Berli tolerated Heavy Berli is the law Weakness means a broken jaw Everything is loud and fast Berli up your f*cking ass Berli plane on Berli trip Berli hand, Berli grip It's Berli man, Here in Berli Berli Land Thank you, good night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 That's fair, then. I went to Berli Berli land once meself. Vicious bugger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 A place where winners always lose That presupposes that they were winners in the first place. This, of course, leave all y'all out. You'll always hear your favorite band It's The Stones in the office. Britney Spears 24/7 out on the floor Except of course when night is day Sorry, boy-o, I don't condone day Everything is hard Ain't no Viagra in Hell 80's hair bands are still hated And disco bands, don't forget the disco bands... or the rappers... and country... JUSTICAR! I thought there were rules in place specifically banning Dalem from versification Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 What about the big-hair bands, like the New York Dolls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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