costard Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Please yourself then, Dotard. I imagine you are quite adept at that since it is unlikely that anyone of either gender would find pleasure in your company. I bet your favorite song is "One Is the Loneliest Number". Michael Five fingers to a palm. Anyway, I have a headache. I just gave this a little thought - how could a narcissist get himself off if he has to imagine himself as someone else giving him pleasure? Comments from the peanut gallery welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Ah haid mah feckin tonsures oot once. Ah was arrested on tha spot, o' course. Something that doesn't happen nearly enough. StukaNukaPukaPants as a sand poondin' git bastarrd nostril reamer. There, Ah feckin said at. But you always say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Five fingers to a palm. ... Comments from the peanut gallery welcome. Technically speaking, it's four fingers and a thumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I wouldn't know. I live in Victoria, not Western Australia. **shrug** So the article got it wrong then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Please yourself then, Dotard. Michael No no no! Don't encourage him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Technically speaking, it's four fingers and a thumb. You are, of course, correct Bugged. And the assumption that I am not a mutant is comforting. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Could have been flippers... [gazing longingly into the Paddock pond]... ...but why a sodding Nymph should want to get personal with a sodding self-obsessed sodden sodding dolphin with sodding dorsel appendages and sodding blasted sub-aqua squeaking Navy sodding mine-carrying intelligent water-bourne mammal is just plain sodding... [stamp, stamp, stamp] abysmal... [couging up some vegetable matter to skim a half digested sprout across the pond] ...just makes one want to eat unethically caught tuna all the time. Poipoise? Just as sodding bad... [gazing more longingly in the tranquil pond] ... one wants squid. Giant squid. Squid with a temper and lashing tentacles. Not some half-bloated, shrunken penguin with an phobia for pilchards... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 So when is Western Australia getting electricity? or cars... or television... or other stuff like that? Who cares about stuff like that, anyway? Except for cars, of course. My NEW WRX only needs petrol.... W00t ! Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Could have been flippers... [gazing longingly into the Paddock pond]... ...but why a sodding Nymph should want to get personal with a sodding self-obsessed sodden sodding dolphin with sodding dorsel appendages and sodding blasted sub-aqua squeaking Navy sodding mine-carrying intelligent water-bourne mammal is just plain sodding... [stamp, stamp, stamp] abysmal... [couging up some vegetable matter to skim a half digested sprout across the pond] ...just makes one want to eat unethically caught tuna all the time. Poipoise? Just as sodding bad... [gazing more longingly in the tranquil pond] ... one wants squid. Giant squid. Squid with a temper and lashing tentacles. Not some half-bloated, shrunken penguin with an phobia for pilchards... Loco weed. Definitely. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Loco weed. Definitely. MichaelI suppose it could be a code of some sort ... but it's more likely he got into something in his feed. Of course he does raise an important question ... how does one maintain one's poise when eating poi? ... Poipoise? Just as sodding bad... Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Who cares about stuff like that, anyway? Except for cars, of course. My NEW WRX only needs petrol.... W00t ! Noba. Isn't that a radio station in Pennsylvania? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Isn't that a radio station in Pennsylvania? With a transmitter in Mexico broadcasting at about a billion watts? You wanted to know how the Sonoran desert came to be? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Not really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Joe Shaw, as free as the wind blows As free as the grass grows, For you, to follow your heart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 / Walks into room, looks around, is this the restroom?, noone answers, urinates on the carpet, walks out of room / Lad, just so you know, you probably pissed the rug at your Mom's place. Again. We don't have carpet here. The right thing to do is call her up, apologize, and tell her you thought you were in the Peng Challenge Thread. Try to explain to her why this would make things alright. Dance and shuffle like the stupid drunkard you undoubtedly are, and, to her heartbreak, she also knows you to be. Freely throw about how awful this place is, how you were only trying to show your disdain for us, and how none of it is your fault. It's almost certain that she will tell you she 'understands', thereby enabling you yet again, and putting off for another year the moment when your family finally has to confront you about your problems with drugs/alcohol. We continue to put on a serious look, nod and smile for the benefit of stupid drunkards like yourself, who piss in public places, and try and blame society and their familial problems for their drunken incontinence. Try not to catch yourself in your zipper when you stagger back into the rest of the Forum. Tell all your friends how you 'pissed in the Peng Challenge Thread'. Don't tell them about the zipper bite at the base of your member, and remember to buy your Mum some flowers. Hose off your shoes. We don't much mind incontinent drunkards, but we like them to leave here looking better than when they came in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 As for dancing for the Senile Chai's entertainment, I give you this vignette: A flatulent elephant, knee high boots and bloodstains on the floor. The Gnome giggling on his throne, his tonsure misplaced and his eyes bloodshot. Vassals and chain pullers wringing their hands as they try to take the whip from their master, a miasma of fear wafting from their persons and threatening to engulf the dancers. Sword wielding dervishes enter - they begin to carve up the dancers. The elephant scents the fear of the slaves, smells the taste of the whip. Trumpets, pirouettes and reaches. The chain is pulled: the Gnome transmogrifies into a busted flush. Can't see it at all, lad. It's all very well to go on about privy humour, but it's not the same as a good taunt. Also, there's too much blood in your vignette, and, as we all know, I'm not a violent man. You seem to be channeling one of the less memorable scenes from 'The 300'. Vile bad movie, that was. Even less sense of History than most of you lot seem to have. Cotard, I was dangerously close to bolding your name. Now you have make-up work to do. Come on out of the ****ter, lad, and talk to us like a man, instead of a little boy who's soiled himself. You have clearly made the foolish mistake of thinking that when I asked you to 'dance for me', that I was somehow belittling you. Dance, lad. Dance like Kali. My Small Friend Emma did TWO dances for me the other day. One was 'The Sleeping Princess'. It was very silly, with lots of fake ballet moves that little girls think look like ballet moves. The other dance was 'Dinosaur Rock', and that dance STOMPED UPON THE TERRA! She put on the music that most of us associate with 'the Can-Can Dance', and then she jumped about the room like a a little lunatic. I damn near pissed myself. It was that good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 ... one wants squid. Giant squid. Squid with a temper and lashing tentacles. Not some half-bloated, shrunken penguin with an phobia for pilchards... True. Too true. And the next time you come to MY fecking town and you don't call me up so we can have breakfast, or a drink, or both, I will hunt you down and kill you like a duck, stuff you with apples and kraut, and send you back to England wrapped in tin foil shaped like a swan for the natives to marvel at. The stupid bastards will say: Look at that! It's like a donkey made out of al-loo-min-ee-um. When are you lot of oiks going to learn the language you bequeathed to us? When are you going to stop pretending that speaking like a Dicken's play, while giving us Victoria fecking Beckham, means you still have a culture? Bloody English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I damn near pissed myself. Yeah right, like you need a cute child's dance for that to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Yeah right, like you need a cute child's dance for that to happen. Well, I don't. But it was a really good dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I demand that someone bring me... A SAMPO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Like this one? Happy? Now STFU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I demand that someone bring me... A SAMPO! A sample of what? Oh, I see. Well, no, I'm afraid we are fresh out of those today. Won't get a new delivery until shortly before Christmas. Come back then and Liza will fix you up with as many as you can stagger out of here with. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 A sample of what? Oh, I see. Well, no, I'm afraid we are fresh out of those today. Won't get a new delivery until shortly before Christmas. Come back then and Liza will fix you up with as many as you can stagger out of here with. MichaelNo, no, he's looking for shampoo but he bit his tongue to keep from shouting in public to no one in particular ... again. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 al-loo-min-ee-um. Net curtains or rather the lack of them... is so, so... well, rustic. Like a cranberry in a bog... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Cranberry bong? Never tried it, but it sounds quite... refreshing. Oh... BOG! Sorry... thought you had a cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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