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Improving the look of the Peng Challenge Thread


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Shrimp and avocado then. Those are colors you are surely familiar with. They'd be almost ugly enough for you.

Michael

Let's see if I can make this clear even to a chowderhead like you ... men, REAL men, know the primary colors and that's about it. Not that there's anything wrong with men who can identify the difference between freaking Sea Foamy and ... I dunno ... Keely Green or whatever.

But men, REAL men, don't pay attention to such frippery.

As I said, there's nothing wrong with you knowing what color avocado is ... some shade of green I'm guessing, just as there's nothing wrong with Boo Radley being able to host a fantastic dinner party on homemade platters ... or whatever. And I'm sure he looks simply stunning in his hand sewed cordovan shirt ... or whatever.

Just don't expect US to give a damn.

Joe

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Let's see if I can make this clear even to a chowderhead like you ... men, REAL men, know the primary colors and that's about it. Not that there's anything wrong with men who can identify the difference between freaking Sea Foamy and ... I dunno ... Keely Green or whatever.

But men, REAL men, don't pay attention to such frippery.

As I said, there's nothing wrong with you knowing what color avocado is ... some shade of green I'm guessing, just as there's nothing wrong with Boo Radley being able to host a fantastic dinner party on homemade platters ... or whatever. And I'm sure he looks simply stunning in his hand sewed cordovan shirt ... or whatever.

Just don't expect US to give a damn.

Joe

Poor Joe. Poor, poor, visually limited Joe who lives in a world made up of Red, Green and Blue.

What a drab life you must have, not even seeing, or at least acknowledging Yellow, Cyan and Magenta, the Secondary colors.

Would you like me to teach them to you? It's really easy.

Yellow is made of Red and Green and Green and Blue make Cyan. Cyan is the opposite of Red and Blue is made of Cyan and Magenta, which in turn is made up of Blue and Red.

Here's a mnemonic to help you; Ripe Young Girls Can Be Made. (Well, except by you).

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W00T!! I'm rich!! and all thanks to the good ole US of A Marine Corp! I'm just so lucky that my new good friend General Oates found my email address in a journal lying around some place in Iraq.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Friend,

Good day and compliments,

I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued existence.

Please allow me to introduce myself.I am MAJOR GENERAL MICHAEL OATES,a US Marine MAJOR GENERAL. serving in the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment which Patrols the Anbar province in Iraq.

I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you. I am presently in Iraq and I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $12,570,000.00 (Twelve million Five Hundred and Seventy Thousand US dollars) to the States or any safe country of your choice, as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:

Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam Hussein's old Presidential Palaces during a rescue operation and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared among us. This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole.

The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. He does not know the real contents of the package as he believes that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, and before giving up trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative.

I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Iraq for you to pick up. I do not know for how long I will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavour to contact me VIA this my private Email Account:usmajgenmo@googlemail.com for confidentiality and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.

Your's Faithfully,

MAJ GEN. MICHAEL OATES.

United States Marine Corps.IRAQ

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Way to be discrete, Stuka. Mutual beneficiality doesn't come along every day.

Speaking of which - I'd be happy to slather myself in pecan butter, but I'm not too sure about being frozen, Patchy. Still, my enjoyment isn't the issue. Oh, and please accept my apologies for the breach of etiquette - without the identifying bits marking you as a Lady, I had assumed you were of the frailer sex.

I like identifying bits, I do...

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W00T!! I'm rich!! and all thanks to the good ole US of A Marine Corp! I'm just so lucky that my new good friend General Oates found my email address in a journal lying around some place in Iraq.

I think you should definitely follow this up, Stukes. After all, who could deserve it more?

Michael

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I think you should definitely follow this up, Stukes. After all, who could deserve it more?

Michael

Yes but be sure to follow ALL instructions to the letter and in a timely manner ... opportunities like that don't come around every day.

Joe

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With my share of Saddam's loot i'm gonna buy Emrys a clue and Joe some clean underwear...things they are both in dire need of.
OR ... maybe we should all respond to it and start backstabbing each other, you know ...

My Dear General Oates,

First may I express my admiration and respect for the job you and your fellow United States Marine Corps are doing. Truly no words are adequate to show the degree of my appreciation.

Second, I took the liberty of googling your photo and you look like a very handsome man with a well formed head, why do they call you jarheads?

Third, don't trust Stuka ... he's Australian you know and you can't trust Australians ... or Boo Radley, he's a Communist ... and if you hear from Michael Emrys I should point out that he's basically a crook and will attempt to take ALL the money for himself.

Forth do you have anybody in Iraq who I could pay some of the money to to make the voices in my head go away?

Joe

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and a born again pinhead.....

Whereas Stuka worships at the Temple of the Lesser God of Lame Responses and Limp Witticisms, where during each service, you can hear the typical call and response:

Priest: "I know you are, but what am I?"

Worshippers: "Says you!"

And regardless of the season, the vestments are in shades of beige and ecru.

And Communion consists of low salt soda crackers and tap water.

They make Baptists look like heavy metal rockers.

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