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Peng Challenge Thread: And Maybe, There Will Be Toast!


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About your stuff and what will happen to it after you've passed away: Now you know why back in the old days people were buried with all their worldly possessions. Nobody wanted to sort through all that crap after the old bastard had finally kacked. Much easier to just push it all into the hole.

Michael

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Ah, yes, the Rules. I hate the fecking Rules. I've written the best Rules ever, and I've seen great Rules written. I was there. I saw them done, done them my own self.

But, the Rules are required. Don't ask why. Don't goddamn ask why. There must be Rules.

So, here we go then, on your water slide tour of the Peng Challenge Thread, you stupid bastards. If you need to read the Rules, you shouldn't be here. If you're simply reading the Rules to see what incarnation of the awful Rules this is, enjoy:

The First Rule Is: This is a place where there are no rules. But the Rules are endless. Obey the Rules. Even though we have no rules. Except for the Rules. They're fairly straight forward. Even the stupidest of you should be able to follow them. Although they do not exist. Because we're the Thread without rules. But we have some. Get it. Or die.

Rule the First One: You're actually supposed to challenge people here. To a game. No one gives a goddamn about that anymore. I mean, what Version of the Game are you challenging anyone to? Go figure. I mean, is it the game we can all play, like Combat Mission Afrifka Corps, or Barbarossa, or Shock Force, which only a small percentage of us can actually play? So, challenge someone to a game, eh? Or bugger off and just be weird, it's all one to me. Can't play Shock Force myself. Don't even know why we'd actually invade Syria. Complete goddamn waste of time, in my opinion. Let them collapse under the weight of their go nowhere economy, for my money.

Rule the Second: Try to sound off about things in the world as though you are abundantly testicular. That means, for the challenged amongst you, 'Post, Preen and make noise like a big damn hero'.

Rule the Third: While posting like a big damn hero, neglect to tell us about the supposedly massive size of your ***** and testes. No one cares. This is something you need to work out with a counselor about your relationship with the priesthood. Really, we feel your pain, but don't want to know the details.

Rule the...whatever the hell: You will respect the Ladies of the 'Pool. They're not like you. They have lives. You will observe that there is a very serious hierarchy here, and that you are at the bottom. Try placing your remarks and inquiries about the bottom where your putative genitalia are. Which is nowhere.

Know this: There are only three Olde Ones. Myself, Peng and Berli.

There is the Justicar. He sorts out anything that resembles dissension. His name is Joe Shaw. He has time to worry about how fecking stupid you are. The rest of us, do not.

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Bring on the Omega 3 eggs!!!

Or the ones raised on radioactive pellets!!!

But there must be bacon...lashings and lashings of bacon!

and don't forget the breakfast beer... a nice, light pilsener will get the day going, followed by a darker ale, then crack on to a stout to get the calorie count up then pull it back a notch with a steady flow of German brews.....all with a cigar in the other hand...there must always be a cigar in your other hand coz we all know the devil makes light work of empty hands....

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There are girls here?
Look you lad, we don't stand for much around here but we have consistently stood up for the rights of fish. I was the first to decry the walloping of cod and I'll not have you playing with fish, be they freshwater or not. Mind you I'd tag you as the sort that can't make friends with anything that breathes air but that's beside the point.

Furtherless, you are an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and as such less than nothing around here. I take the time to counsel you lad for one thing and one thing only and that's provisional in nature ...

Location:Wisconsin

Interests:I paint 25mm figures play bass and play CM:SF

Occupation:I play bass

Wisconsin is like a lesser ManySoda if such a thing can be imagined, but it's the next line that may, MAY I say, grant you a small degree of leeway ... I cut my wargaming teeth on 25mm Napoleonics and I well recall the days and nights spent hunched over a paint spattered desk with bright light and small brush laboring over the Dragoni Napolene.

So I grant you a stay of execution lad for further explanation but I caution you that if the 25mm figures you paint are of some drunken orc or wood skipping elf it will NOT go well with you.

As to the rest ... yes, we get it, you play with Bass ... GOT IT.

Joe

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