It's a Man's Life in the Peng Challenge Thread!

[MrPeng]

I am stuck in O'Hairball and have been here for hours. My flight keeps getting pushed back, thirty minutes at a time. I actually tried to arrange an earlier flight but to my dismay found that 1. I had booked my return flight a WEEK LATER than I wanted to go home - that's right, I booked my return trip for November 13, not November 6 Brilliant. and B. I got to the airport 15 minutes too late - actually got to the ticket agent 15 minutes too late - hmmm I spent about 15 minutes DICKING AROUND before I realized my mistake - so It really is all my fault I am stuck here. And it seems that wind is delaying flights. Who would have thought that there would be wind related delays in Chicago? So my flight gets pushed back later and later. But that's not really why I am

MrCrabby Pants. No. Not even close. Go ahead and ask why I am MrCrabby Pants. Ask.

I'm glad you asked. After the nice agent lady charged me 100 dollars to correct my mistake - which STILL isn't what's got my knickers in a bunch - after I got my boarding pass, I queued up for the Great Equalizing Parade of Fear and Shame. That's right I got in line to go through "security." I am appalled at my countrymen (and women). I am appalled that we have sunk so low as to allow ourselves the indignities we suffer to board a plane. We have traded our freedom for a shameful sense of safety. An illusory safety. A bull**** safety. It is not a security barrier through which I passed. No. It was a Humiliation Barrier. Those of us who fly to get from place to place have somehow decided that we would rather be harranged by bullying, corporal-like lackwits with

badges, who are a paycheck away from lumpen prole status; we would rather shuffle bare footed through a metal detector with our personal effects in drab gray bins; we would rather be assumed guilty, and have to PROVE OURSELVES INNOCENT, than run the risk of some punk-ass terrorists bringing box cutters on a plane.

Well **** that. I bet you several dollars that I would be scared ****less to die in a terrorist plane attack. I admit it. I don't want to die. But I tell you what. I also bet you even more dollars that that brief bit of wetting myself in the face of a fiery, painful demise would be better than the hideous emotions churning my gut now. I am going to feel this way for a long time. I am

going to be stuck with this utter disgust that a bunch of religio-****wits ON BOTH SIDES of the Islam-Christo divide have driven us to this deplorable state of the union. I am stuck with the bile rising in my gorge. I am saddled with the shame of a people - MY PEOPLE - so soft, so pathetic, so goddam TERRORIZED that we are willing to pass through the Humiliation Barrier between the street and the airplane.

It sickens me that the land of the free and the home of the brave is filled with millions upon millions of chicken**** slaves to authority. It sickens me that I seem to be one of them. Well, one thing is for sure, it is the macho posturing and the disgraceful, demented ****wittery of the Bush administration, with the active complicity of the congress and the judiciary, that has made me

to feel so absolutely ashamed and disgusted to be an American. You heard me. I am ASHAMED of this country. You know what? As soon as the TSA said everyone has to remove their shoes to get through suckurity, and WE COMPLIED, the terrorists won the war. It is over and we lost, all that's left is the slow, inevitable swirl into the toilet of barbarism that will surely come.

I am embarrassed to be sitting in an airport that blares "The Current Security Level is Orange, Elevated." with the 3-1-1 Rule explained in infuriating detail by that disembodied woman's voice that is so calm and reasonable sounding but really subtextually shouting "You are all afraid to die. You are all afraid to die. You checked your balls with your baggage and are nothing to us but domesticants suitable for consuming what we tell you to consume." **** the 311 rule. I chose to buy travel sized toiletries at a drug store and

throw away the remainder rather than put everything in a bag for inspection. I don't want everyone to see that I like Harry's Dick

Flavored toothpaste "with extra jizz for whiteness." It's none of anyone's goddam business that I prefer my flouride to be penis

flavored.

So **** you all very much, my fellow Americans. **** you very much for your complicity with our own castration. The Humiliation Barrier we erected says all there is to say about what a bunch of ****ing pussies we are, and how richly we deserve the ****tards that are in office "protecting" us.

[Dave H]

You're right. We have nobody else to blame. The real enemy is us.

[ng cavscout]

Originally posted by stoat:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Oh, and Seanachai, now that you are back from the staff meeting of Faeries and like minded fey folk, can you return the setup I sent you oh so many weeks ago?

I may attempt to get a turn to you within the next seven days. Boo can wait. </font>

[ng cavscout]

Come on Mr. Peng, tell us how you really feel...

Have a Budweiser, it will make you feel better.

Did I tell you about our whole Company, flying over to Iraq, had to take off our boots, in uniform, to get through security?

[Abbott]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

You heard me. I am ASHAMED of this country.

You would make a good Canadian.

[ November 06, 2007, 06:37 PM: Message edited by: Abbott ]

[MrPeng]

Go **** Yourself Abbott.

[Stuka]

In the nicest possible way, of course.

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

I am stuck in O'Hairball and have been here for hours. My flight keeps getting pushed back, thirty minutes at a time. I actually tried to arrange an earlier flight but to my dismay found that 1. I had booked my return flight a WEEK LATER than I wanted to go home - that's right, I booked my return trip for November 13, not November 6 Brilliant. and B. I got to the airport 15 minutes too late - actually got to the ticket agent 15 minutes too late - hmmm I spent about 15 minutes DICKING AROUND before I realized my mistake - so It really is all my fault I am stuck here. And it seems that wind is delaying flights. Who would have thought that there would be wind related delays in Chicago? So my flight gets pushed back later and later. But that's not really why I am

MrCrabby Pants. No. Not even close. Go ahead and ask why I am MrCrabby Pants. Ask.

I'm glad you asked. After the nice agent lady charged me 100 dollars to correct my mistake - which STILL isn't what's got my knickers in a bunch - after I got my boarding pass, I queued up for the Great Equalizing Parade of Fear and Shame. That's right I got in line to go through "security." I am appalled at my countrymen (and women). I am appalled that we have sunk so low as to allow ourselves the indignities we suffer to board a plane. We have traded our freedom for a shameful sense of safety. An illusory safety. A bull**** safety. It is not a security barrier through which I passed. No. It was a Humiliation Barrier. Those of us who fly to get from place to place have somehow decided that we would rather be harranged by bullying, corporal-like lackwits with

badges, who are a paycheck away from lumpen prole status; we would rather shuffle bare footed through a metal detector with our personal effects in drab gray bins; we would rather be assumed guilty, and have to PROVE OURSELVES INNOCENT, than run the risk of some punk-ass terrorists bringing box cutters on a plane.

Well **** that. I bet you several dollars that I would be scared ****less to die in a terrorist plane attack. I admit it. I don't want to die. But I tell you what. I also bet you even more dollars that that brief bit of wetting myself in the face of a fiery, painful demise would be better than the hideous emotions churning my gut now. I am going to feel this way for a long time. I am

going to be stuck with this utter disgust that a bunch of religio-****wits ON BOTH SIDES of the Islam-Christo divide have driven us to this deplorable state of the union. I am stuck with the bile rising in my gorge. I am saddled with the shame of a people - MY PEOPLE - so soft, so pathetic, so goddam TERRORIZED that we are willing to pass through the Humiliation Barrier between the street and the airplane.

It sickens me that the land of the free and the home of the brave is filled with millions upon millions of chicken**** slaves to authority. It sickens me that I seem to be one of them. Well, one thing is for sure, it is the macho posturing and the disgraceful, demented ****wittery of the Bush administration, with the active complicity of the congress and the judiciary, that has made me

to feel so absolutely ashamed and disgusted to be an American. You heard me. I am ASHAMED of this country. You know what? As soon as the TSA said everyone has to remove their shoes to get through suckurity, and WE COMPLIED, the terrorists won the war. It is over and we lost, all that's left is the slow, inevitable swirl into the toilet of barbarism that will surely come.

I am embarrassed to be sitting in an airport that blares "The Current Security Level is Orange, Elevated." with the 3-1-1 Rule explained in infuriating detail by that disembodied woman's voice that is so calm and reasonable sounding but really subtextually shouting "You are all afraid to die. You are all afraid to die. You checked your balls with your baggage and are nothing to us but domesticants suitable for consuming what we tell you to consume." **** the 311 rule. I chose to buy travel sized toiletries at a drug store and

throw away the remainder rather than put everything in a bag for inspection. I don't want everyone to see that I like Harry's Dick

Flavored toothpaste "with extra jizz for whiteness." It's none of anyone's goddam business that I prefer my flouride to be penis

flavored.

So **** you all very much, my fellow Americans. **** you very much for your complicity with our own castration. The Humiliation Barrier we erected says all there is to say about what a bunch of ****ing pussies we are, and how richly we deserve the ****tards that are in office "protecting" us.

Wow. You really are a moron. The beauty and sheer joy of it all is that the Universe keeps coming up with new ways of reminding you of it. And making it look like you have your own brain to blame in the process. Sweet!

What possible pride could you have in yourself at this stage of life, that it could possibly be given oh such a cruel blow by *gasp* having to stand in line and empty the contents of your pockets. Boo hoo.

You must have been exhausted after that ordeal. Not too exhausted to blither about it in open forum, of course, but just exhausted enough to sink that miserable disposition of yours to even lower depths.

Tell you what, genius; if you can come up with a workable security plan that will ensure the safety of airline passengers and at the same time meet the needs of public expectations, please present it now. Otherwise, shut the hell up. Or at least learn how to spell "harangued."

Is this the part where you expect us to fawn all over you for your writing skills? It must have taken you weeks to come up with the "penis flavoured fluoride" stuff, but you probably just lifted it from some old MP sketch, which is where most of your tired material comes from in any event.

[MrPeng]

Thanks Mike. You have cleverly missed the point. And earned double asshat chits for the spelling grog douchebaggery. Or is douchebaggery spelled with only 1 'g'? Should I have used double quotes? Oh my. I'm all a dither now. So Mike, you go **** yourself too. **** your self with an infinitely wide rubber dick - with no lube. Go blow your ****ing brains out you insufferable ****ing prick. Just **** off. Really. I'm not writing for you anyway you canukistanian puddle of cat sick - oh sorry, maybe that was used somewhere before. I Guess I can't use it. No one should ever be allowed to write anything that was ever written before. Only completely original ideas in the presence of the Mighty ****tardian DOROSH. So unless you have a completely ALL your OWN idea, don't make poor mikey read it or he might get bored. You know, mike, don't waste the bullet. just throw yourself off an overpass in front of a bus. just ****ing die you piece of ****. **** you and anybody that looks like you. asshole.

almost forgot. why don't you go cry to the moderators now you big wet pink pussy. get me banned you demented ****wit. like I give a ****.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

...I had booked my return flight a WEEK LATER than I wanted to go home - that's right, I booked my return trip for November 13, not November 6 Brilliant.

This is your brain on drugs. Nice going.

...after I got my boarding pass, I queued up for the Great Equalizing Parade of Fear and Shame. That's right I got in line to go through "security." I am appalled at my countrymen (and women). I am appalled that we have sunk so low as to allow ourselves the indignities we suffer to board a plane.

So next time take a train. It's far more comfortable and given the modest distances you have to cover, would get you there about as fast with far fewer hassles (as yet). If enough people stop flying, the airlines will raise such a howl in DC that some of the BS might actually get discarded. Yeah, I know, ever the optimist aren't I?

Anyway, welcome to the club. What you wrote is exactly what I've been saying on the subject since about a month after 9/11. The way the terrorists succeed is to provoke us into hurting ourselves. We are their force multiplier.

Michael

[Yeknodathon]

I think everyone should have a Spongepants Dorosh to grip and squeeze in a hidden pocket whenever near queues, uniforms or persons in authority.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Oh you guys would just lurve it if you could ever afford a visit out to the land of Oz but seeing as your 'merkin dollar is valued somewhere between the peso and the zloty right now, I don't think that'll be anytime soon.

In the meantime, 3 cheers for Australia!!

Oi!

Oi!

Oi!

Oi! Oi! Oi!

Aye, Australia's the place every other country wishes to be.

As for Queensland....there's a reason it has 'Queen' in front.

[Mace]

Oh, and while I'm here, Peng if you're going to eviscerate someone, shouldn't you clean up after yourself?

**hoses down the MBT**

[ng cavscout]

Yowza, such strong emotions from everyone.

I am sitting in the office right now waiting for my trainee to finish her paperwork so we can take the guy that was hiding in a trunk with a knife, that I almost shot earlier tonight, to jail. Nothing to wake you up like opening a trunk during a vehicle search and there is a pimp with a butcher knife, crying stripper/ho in the back ground yelling "don't kill him you honky Mother F***er". Kind of puts things in perspective it does.

[ November 07, 2007, 01:09 AM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ]

[ng cavscout]

umm, Mr. Peng, I think you should of capitalized "Canuckistanian".

I, personally, am not offended by the security at the airports, but that is probably the totalitarian/neo-fascist side of me coming out.

[Mace]

While we're having a 'not offended' moment...

I'd like to go on record that I, personally, am not offended by NG cavscout.

[v42below]

Notwithstanding the excitement above, I thought now is as good a time as any to stop and remember Jim Boggs - a Knight and a gentleman. It has now been more than two years since he moved onto a discussion board of a different kind. His kind and encouraging words, when I was but a SSN, have served me in good stead, for which I will always be grateful. Lest we forget...

[Nidan1]

Mr Peng do you have to use foul language? we get it that you are a dolt, and for being a dolt you should rot in the airport lounge forever.

Lets try to maintain the exemplary level of decorum that usually pervades the MBT,no reason for all the four letter words. They don't make you any funnier.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Yowza, such strong emotions from everyone.

I am sitting in the office right now waiting for my trainee to finish her paperwork so we can take the guy that was hiding in a trunk with a knife, that I almost shot earlier tonight, to jail. Nothing to wake you up like opening a trunk during a vehicle search and there is a pimp with a butcher knife, crying stripper/ho in the back ground yelling "don't kill him you honky Mother F***er". Kind of puts things in perspective it does.

You go on weird double dates.

[rammer4250]

Mr Peng

Since this is a free country, feel free to move elsewhere!

Let's say France!

[rammer4250]

Mr Peng,

Oh yeah bring Hillary with you!

[Lars]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

***snip***

Gee, and here I thought today would suck.

Thanks Peng!

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by MrPeng:

Thanks Mike. You have cleverly missed the point. And earned double asshat chits for the spelling grog douchebaggery. Or is douchebaggery spelled with only 1 'g'? Should I have used double quotes? Oh my. I'm all a dither now. So Mike, you go **** yourself too. **** your self with an infinitely wide rubber dick - with no lube. Go blow your ****ing brains out you insufferable ****ing prick. Just **** off. Really. I'm not writing for you anyway you canukistanian puddle of cat sick - oh sorry, maybe that was used somewhere before. I Guess I can't use it. No one should ever be allowed to write anything that was ever written before. Only completely original ideas in the presence of the Mighty ****tardian DOROSH. So unless you have a completely ALL your OWN idea, don't make poor mikey read it or he might get bored. You know, mike, don't waste the bullet. just throw yourself off an overpass in front of a bus. just ****ing die you piece of ****. **** you and anybody that looks like you. asshole.

almost forgot. why don't you go cry to the moderators now you big wet pink pussy. get me banned you demented ****wit. like I give a ****.

At what point of that diatribe should I be envisioning you hitting me with your purse? :confused: I've got the image of the tears streaming down your face starting with sentence one; don't know if you're one of those "late criers" or not.

[MrPeng]

Originally posted by rammer4250:

Mr Peng

Since this is a free country, feel free to move elsewhere!

Let's say France!

So very typical.

Since this is no longer a free country, I am going to work my ass off with what few freedoms I have left to put people in office who don't pander to the fearful.

So rammer' why don't you ram your boring opinion about where I should live up your ass until you choke on it.

I'm sick to death of the neocon whores all bellowing for me to leave simply because I point out how fully they have eroded the freedoms that once made it a great country. I'm not leaving. I'm taking it back. Why don't you authoritarian types move somewhere where no one gives a crap about being secure in the persons and effects from unreasonable searches and seizures? Why don't you go to somewhere with an Official State Religion instead forcing your fantastic tale of an invisible sky fairy that tortured himself to death down everyone's throats?

The monumental hypocrisy of the neocons is so glaring: Government can't do anything right - oh, except spying on it's own citizens and rooting through their personal effects for contraband. They're really good at that.

So no, rammer, I'm not leaving and I'm not shutting up and I'm not giving up until every traitorous scumbag that is responsible for illegal wiretapping, and for airport 'security' and every other injustice that has been perpetrated on the populous - from approving it to implementing it is in jail or hanging upside down from a lamp-post by a piano wire.

I'm not leaving and I'm not shutting up, so get used to it. If you don't like the fact that while I am still able to voice my opinion on what a sorry pack of swine the citizenry are then perhaps you might want to think about finding somewhere else to go where dissent isn't allowed. Dissent is what makes things work, jackass. Your authoritarian buddies have had the run of the place for years and look at the sorry ass state the place is in. You might like it - why I don't know - what's so great about surrendering your dignity? But I do NOT. No. Not one little bit. Next it will be "Papers, please" when walking down the street unless we make a 180 really fast. I'm not very hopeful, but I'll be damned if I am going to have my daughters grow up without the same freedoms I had when I was growing up.

America needs an enema. I'll help hold the nozzle.

{toned down on the cussing for the honorable nidan- and by the way, who said I was trying to be funny? I'm pissed!}

[MrPeng]

Another typical righty tactic from Dorosh. Sure, drag up my past sins - I gave up Bud a long time ago though, so that's not going to work. I've been inoculated against that particular attack. My admission was part of someone's sig for awhile. So it can't hurt me.

Why are you still in Canada anyway? Isn't there a police state somewhere you can fit in? It's just south of the border. Come to America, Mikey. Renounce your Canadian citizenship. You know you want to. You get a hard on just thinking about it. Maybe someday when you've got the supplies all counted they will let you 'man' a checkpoint and hassle people for their identification? Won't that be fun!