You Have Neglected Syria's Hex

[Solitario Syriano]

Regardless of all the initial warnings, misgivings, discontentment and overly underwhelming enthusiasm for the subject matter, theme, theater and scope of CMSF over the development years, as always, Steve and Charles knew and know best.

“A game like none of you ever seen” said they, “I can’t wait” said you, umpteen times and over the course of 3 – 4 years. It wasn’t to be a “revolutionary” game, but “evolutionary” BF claimed _ it would evolve into the most colossal bomb since Howard Dean. No wonder the American Christian right is feverishly campaigning to diminish, if not abolish all semblance of “evolution” from the curriculums of the US school system, they want North Americans to be titillated, NOT BF mind you, titillation would mean joy.

Not much hasn’t been said after the game’s disastrous release, the spin of BF and the incessant protests of its patrons. However, what hasn’t been injected is a Syrian post release perspective and an opinion as to why this most awaited game failed so miserably. And failed miserably it did, for anyone trying to dispute this utter failure would have a better chance convincing the world of the wisdom for Bush to remain in power for four more years.

And although Steve did a good job educating the forum about Syria’s military structure and its armament, he also failed miserably in conveying albeit a minute sense of history about the country BF was so intent on virtually invading.

In addition to attributing CMSF’s failure to scope, theater, technical and programing-orientated flaws that have been presented and argued ad infinitum and ad absurdum, Syrian gamers have a rather supernatural, metaphysical take on CMSF’s failure. Moreover, the latter is despite the fact the game’s been banned in Syria, for it’s still available on the black market and has generated quite a discourse; none to the credit of BF, however.

Of course many Manichaeans on this board will either have a giggle, or laugh hysterically at the following reasoning, nevertheless, Syrians overwhelmingly believe god overmatches Syria and protects her against those who seek to transgress upon her. The saying goes "Syria god protects her." Hence by extension, those who seek to actively or virtually see Syria’s demise are transgressed upon themselves in various forms.

Moreover, god protects Syria not because it possesses special rulers, nor is its protection predicated upon its people or form of governance, but because of Syria’s place in theological history, because of all the pious and pure saints who have inhabited it over the years.

How many times in Syria’s modern history, superpowers and medium powers alike have predicted Syria’s demise, have said “this time that’s it, Syria’s toast”; numerous times, especially during the Bush administration. Yet instead of ruin, Syria’s experiencing unprecedented growth; GDP is at a record 6%, American luxury hotels are popping up in Damascus like we’re The Canaries: The Four Seasons, Intercontinental, you name it.

Throughout its recent history, Syria has never faced ruinous calamity, neither in the form of earthquakes, floods, post independence occupation of its vital cities and provinces, nor a mesmerizing defeat vs. Israel, even in 56 and 67. And this is regardless of the vast disparity in technology and armament. To the contrary, history has shown those who conspired against Syria, have realized the futility of their actions, came back, and kissed Syria’s ass.

Unbeknownst to Steve and Charles, they’ve been bitten by Syria’s Hex that’s been afflicting its suspect friends and foes since its independence.

And to all the Adam1s out there, your complaints are falling on deaf ears, what do you expect? You expect Steve to promulgate a mea culpa? A “we ****ed up and apparently been bitten by The Syrian Hex” in a public forum? It’ll never happen, you’re beating a dead drum.

Every time you call CMSF a game the moderators call it a business, and when you call it a business, they call it a game, “a mere $40 one at that.” What they don’t realize they’re belittling is your time, your patience, your willingness to wait years for grandiose, yet disappointing promises as it turned out. The Syrians have a saying when they feel slighted on a promise, they say to the expectation hyper “you made us fast for years, yet all you’ve to offer us to break fast is a rotten onion?”

You think Steve will admit to you that there are fabulous, modern, bug-free games on the market with similar subject matters that flatten CMSF? That there are companies out there who aren’t tightwads, reject the concept of lone wolfs and embrace the notion of prodigious teams who produce competitive products? Although if you broach the latter to Steve, he’ll tell ya, no, it’s not that at all, it’s the Syrian Hex.

However, evidence of CMSF’s failure is brought forth lucidly by all the astutely critical voices on this forum, and boy are there many. You know how you know? Because as soon as 1.3 comes out, you’re looking for 1.4, 1.4’s here, you want 1.5, 1.5’s out, you’re itchin’ for .6 .7 .8 .9 …, and you know in your heart of hearts that patch .gazillion won’t fix this rotten to the core game. But what you didn’t know is CMSF is rotten to the core because BF‘s been bitten by Syria’s Hex.

Moral of the story? While you think you're ****ing Syria, Syria is ****ing you.

[M1A1TC]

Hi mom! LoneSyrian is back!

[SlapHappy]

Before this gets locked-up I just want to say that this was some of the most eloquently worded horse-**** I've read in quite some time......

I salute you sir!

Oh yeh, Yo Mom!

[JohnO]

I second that SlapHappy, what a load of crap he posted.

[Omenowl]

Yes, but lets not forget he is right about Syria's hex. I mean Syria has been laboring under it for 50+ years. I mean when your illustrious military achievements are as the punching bag of Israel and the occupation of Lebanon you have a lot to be proud of.

[YankeeDog]

Hear, hear. This place would be a lot more fun if all the blowhards around here were as eloquent as Lonesyrian.

I'll take Eloquent Crap over garden variety inarticulate crap any day.

Cheers,

YD

[Dogface]

Gold, Pure comedic gold.

Now I do have to add that I think that Albigensians would be a better group to envoke than the Manichaeans, but that is just my opinion.

[igor]

[nor a mesmerizing defeat vs. Israel, even in 56 and 67]

huh? i'd say 1967 was a total ignonomous unmitigated humiliating defeat for Syria.

They, um, as you say, got ****ed.

[rleete]

Interesting concept, this masturbation via internet post. Hope it was good for you.

[Wicky]

[Homo ferricus]

I can't wait for 1.06 to come out.

[Solitario Syriano]

Oh yeah, and Syria kindly asks of you Iowans to caucus correctly and Obamamitically so it can catch a break.

Say igor, you made a mistake ****head, a mesmerizing defeat would be one like Saddam's or France's in the 40s.

Was Syria's capital occupied? No. Did 67 bring about regime change? No. Did the loss of the Golan cripple Syria? No. So it wasn't calamitous, just your plain vanilla Arab defeat as usual. It'll never happen again, not against Slav kikes like you anywho.

[hoolaman]

News just in, Syria is not in fact being invaded by BFC sponsored US forces, and is in fact prospering in spite of the dire computer game threat.

[Homo ferricus]

LoneSyrian is right about the hex, guys. The other day, i played a scenario as the US and did marvelously, i later got up to use the restroom and stubbed my toe something awful. Not bloody awful, you know? Just sorta, "that mildly hurt" awful?

Whatever.

[MiB]

Holy wow, I cannot stop laughing.

Lock it and sticky it, for the amusement of future generations.

[M1A1TC]

LoneSyrian, you are giving your country-men and the rest of the muslims a bad name. O wait, it's too late, they already done that themselves. Never mind, keep going with your muslim extremist propoganda

[Hamstersss]

You know what they don't tell you about Syria? Scheming nest of vipers, that's what. No, wait, everyone knows that. What they don't tell you is that the Syrians are the Romans. Phillipus--Phillip the Arab--Syrian. They're wops (Like me!) and they've always been happy to fiddle to the tune of whoever is in power. Syria doesn't have a hex, it is the hex. Arab defeat in every modern war has always rested firmly on Syria's shoulders. The failure of the Baathist movement? Syria. That bad egg roll you ate in 1987? Syria.

Syria is the Strong Bad of the Islamic World. Lebanon is the Strong Sad of the Arab World, but that's another story.

[LongLeftFlank]

Originally posted by Solitario Syriano:

It'll never happen again, not against Slav kikes like you anywho.

Just so you'll know, this is the specific quote that will get you (re)banned. Steve and the other moderators would like to have real live Syrians on this board, even if your point of view is not what we're used to, but blatantly racist remarks are a no go zone in our world. Rest assured that we'd get banned for using similar slurs about Arabs or Muslims in general, or anyone else.

I'm also interested in how Arabs seem to use allegory -- and ascribe to it a much deeper meaning -- than we do in the secular/rational West (although the Old Testament certainly contains its fair share, so maybe it's a Middle Eastern thing in general).

So if you can just tone down the racist comments (even if you feel provoked), I'd enjoy hearing what you have to say, whether or not I agree with it on a factual basis.

[Battlefront.com]

See guys, I told you none of the problems in the game are our fault! It's all Syria's fault, just like our lunatic friend Lone Syrian says. So don't go bitching to us when you find a bug, instead write your local government representative (in whatever flavor they come in) and plead with them to bomb Syria into the stone age. Sure, the West isn't capable of occupying and rebuilding Syria, but shoot... why bother if that's just going to allow the likes of Lone Syrian to get back on the internet? Seems to be an awful waste of taxpayer's money.

In fact, though, I think LoneSyrian is really an operative of MI5 designed to incite racial hatred within Britain so the Brown government can clean house! Oh wait... I just got done watching Children of Men. Guess I'm getting my fiction confused

Steve